Christmas Baking Week is upon me. I approach it each year with great alacrity, as Christmas Baking Week = Christmas Eating Week. OK fine. Jamie spoiled my fun when he read this entry: “Why use ‘alacrity’ (eagerness) when no one knows what it means?” My response: “Because I speak in one-word commands to a 1-year-old ALL DAY LONG! GIVE ME SOMETHING TO BE ALACRITIC ABOUT. Or however you’d say it.
Anyhew, on Le Menu this year are egg nog snickerdoodles, cream cheese cutout cookies, homemade chocolate suckers, caramel toffee squares, sugar ‘n spice cookies, vanilla fudge and of course, my $1,000 Almond Rocha. Not familiar with the latter item? Let me take you back, back, back five years to a journal entry describing when it all began.
December 2001–
“Since Labor Day, I have pumped more than $1,000 into a certain tooth of mine (editor’s note: this would be the same tooth that is still causing me problems five years later). First, the root canal. Then the crown. Then the painful abscess. Then the retreatment surgery. Then the filling to repair the retreatment. I had my final appointment just last month. Or so I thought. And then I started my Christmas baking and made Almond Rocha last night. My first mistake.
My second mistake was thinking I could actually eat it. Innocently, I chomped down. The candy was harder, crunchier than I remembered. Now, I usually don’t make a habit of spitting out my food but something was REALLY wrong and so I regurgitated the particularly crunchy portion of my treat. And there was my tooth. Not my crown, but the actual, veritable tooth. I reacted as would be expected–I let out a blood-curdling scream. My roommates came running and offered their horror and sympathy. And then they stayed and ate my $1,000 Almond Rocha, with all their teeth in tact. I’m not bitter, really.
And so this holiday season, just skip out on your baking all together. That song, “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth” brings painful and poignant meaning. For my sake, make sure to boycott Christmas carols as well….”
I'm a Canadian-born mom of two, former Denver Post columnist, family travel writer, editor of MileHighMamas.com and 9News contributor. Expert on all things Utah, Denver, family and travel. Lover of laughter and life. Happily married to a man obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin. 