‘Waiting for the Sunrise:’ Learning to Recognize Light in the Valley

I dusted off my old blog to share a piece of my journey as I waited for the sunrise. If you find yourself in a valley of trial or uncertainty, I hope it brings a little light and encouragement. You’ll find each day’s insights at the bottom. – Amber Borowski Johnson

Happy Easter!

Last Sunday, I began something small and personal for Holy Week. I chose to wait for the sunrise each day.

The idea came from my friend Kelly last summer. After some heavy years, she returned each morning for a couple of weeks to something constant. In that rhythm, she learned to trust that God is constant, too.

Jamie and I are in a hard season of uncertainty, what he jokingly calls “a 500-pound weight hanging over our heads.” It hasn’t been easy to trust God’s timing when so much feels out of our control.

Many people see sunrises, but waiting for one—returning to the same place day after day—turns it into a practice instead of a moment. At Deer Creek Reservoir, the wetlands don’t rush. The light comes whether you’re ready or not, and choosing to be there shifts something. You stop trying to force meaning and begin to receive it. Over the week, I noticed small, quiet changes:

*Light never arrived the same way twice.

*Waiting stopped feeling empty and became part of the gift.

*My thoughts quieted. Not because I tried to fix them, but because there was nothing to chase

It was a week of contrast. Golden mornings, pelicans on the water, and unexpected beauty, along with mud, snow, rain, and even an unfortunate sinkhole. 🙂 A study of light in every sense. Light in the sky, light in the depths of the valley, light that comes slowly but always comes.

Eight days later, I walked away changed.

Nothing about our situation has resolved, but something in me has. I feel more grounded, more trusting, more aware that even when answers don’t come right away, light does.

If you’re in a season of waiting, I would invite you to make space to watch for light. It doesn’t have to be a sunrise, just an intentional turning toward Him, the Light of the World, and a willingness to wait.

Waiting for the Sunrise: Learning to Recognize Light in the Valley

Day 1: Palm Sunday in the Valley

Day 2: Seeing With New Eyes

Day 3: Light Before the Sun

Day 4: Rain that Reveals

Day 5: Glitter in the Storm

Day 6: When the Unimaginable Takes Flight

Day 7: The Light Between

Day 8: That Glorious Easter Morn!

He lives. And because He lives, light endures.

Happy Resurrection Day!

Day 8: That Glorious Easter Morn

Note: I dusted off my old blog to share a piece of my journey as I waited for the sunrise during Holy Week.

Previous posts:

Day 1: Palm Sunday in the Valley

Day 2: Seeing With New Eyes

Day 3: Light Before the Sun

Day 4: Rain that Reveals

Day 5: Glitter in the Storm

Day 6: When the Unimaginable Takes Flight

Day 7: The Light Between

Day 8: That Glorious Easter Morn

Sunday, April 5, 2026

Moonset 7:13 a.m., sunrise 7:27 a.m.

I could see the eastern horizon from my room this morning. It was already light, the entire ridgeline brushed in soft pink. I didn’t hesitate. I was out of bed and out the door earlier than any day this week, eager for one last sunrise.

It struck me on the drive over. In one week, I had lived through every season. Drought. Sun. Rain. Snow. Freezing mornings and unexpected warmth. My dad’s old Canadian lumberjack jacket made one more appearance, steady and familiar. 

On Palm Sunday, I started in running shoes. Then came the rain boots. Then winter boots midweek. Today, hiking boots. I knew I wanted to end with a climb. Outside, my neighbor’s lamppost flickered again. Like that lone light in Narnia—steady in the cold, quietly bridging two worlds. Not enough to change everything, but enough to show the way.

The full moon still lingered, higher now. I wasn’t surprised to see it. Just grateful.

But what stopped me on the drive was the valley itself. It looked like it was on fire. Steam rose from the fields and off the Provo River, that quiet collision of warm water meeting cold air, creating something visible out of what normally goes unseen. Pockets of mist hovered everywhere, soft and surreal, like the earth was exhaling.

It was cold again. Low 20s. Clear. Still.

I reached the reservoir and moved with a confidence I didn’t have earlier in the week. Across the wetlands. Over my makeshift bridge. Down to the water’s edge.

I paused for a moment, looking out. Not just at the water, but at the place itself. I had been quietly picking up bits of trash all week. Nothing dramatic. Just small things. The wetlands had given me more than I expected. It felt right to give something back.

Out west, the moon was finishing what it started. Yesterday, it dipped behind Timpanogos. Today, just slightly south, over a neighboring peak. Small shifts. Easy to miss if you’re not paying attention, which I usually am not. The mountains held the moon’s light for a few final moments before it slipped away.

For the first time all week, I heard cows lowing in the distance. The birds had returned in full force, unapologetic and loud. And my pelicans. Closer than they had ever been.

“They’re huge,” I said out loud. It made me laugh. All week, I had been watching them from a distance, thinking I understood what I was seeing. Turns out, I hadn’t even come close.

There weren’t any clouds, yet the light still touched the mountains before the sun arrived. The whole ridgeline glowed.

I turned east. The mountains were softened by early light, but then the sunrise began—an orange blaze reflected in the mist, turning the valley to fire. It rose from the fog like a living flame. Steady. Clear. Uncovered. Brighter than any sunrise this week. 

A week of waiting, and this final Easter sunrise broke every shadow I had carried in this valley.

On my way back, I took a small detour along the inlet near the perimeter trail. Something moved in the water. Not on top like the birds. Beneath it. I stopped. Waited. A small head popped up. A beaver!!!! We both froze, equally surprised. The Canadian in me was delighted! I had admired its dam earlier in the week. It surfaced once or twice more, then disappeared, clearly done with me. Fair.

I crossed over the railroad tracks and, for the first time all week, I didn’t stop at the edge of the mountain. I kept going. Up. Not to summit. Just higher. Enough to see.

The wetlands stretched out below me. The place that had held everything this week. Mud, mist and mess. Birds and stillness. Pelicans, a hidden eagle, and now an elusive beaver. Light in every form. And I could see it all at once.

“Like the warmth of the light of the morning sun, we will feel the love and healing of the Son of God. Darkness will give way to eternal light. Each morning, let the daily rising sun remind us that Jesus Christ is the light that leads us through this life. Through any valley of sorrow, over beautiful mountains of joy and across any ocean of uncertainty…safely back to our loving, merciful Father in Heaven.” President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, General Conference, April 5, 2026

I don’t have a resolution for what I’m waiting on. The questions are still there. The unknowns haven’t cleared. But this week changed something. The sun still rises. Always. Through clouds, through storms, through whatever stands in the way. It comes.

And so does He.

On the drive home, my phone’s algorithm switched to a song that has carried me these past months: God is Still Writing My Story. 

“God is still writing my story, every twist, every turn, every page of His glory. When the ink runs dry and the words don’t run He’s working behind the scenes right on time…God is still writing my story, every loss, every fire, every trial, every victory. I may not see the ending but I trust what I can’t see because God is still writing my story….”

And it felt different now. Not like something I was hoping for, but something I believed.

That’s what this week has been. Waiting. Watching. Learning to trust the timing and outcome. Easter morning reminds me why. Light comes. Life returns.

Because…of Christ’s Resurrection, nothing that feels unresolved is ever truly the end.

Because…what once seems unfinished is, in Him, already complete.

Because….“It is finished.”  –John 19:30

Happy Resurrection Day!

Day 7: The Light Between

Note: I dusted off my old blog to share a piece of my journey as I waited for the sunrise during Holy Week. Previous posts:

Day 1: Palm Sunday in the Valley

Day 2: Seeing With New Eyes

Day 3: Light Before the Sun

Day 4: Rain that Reveals

Day 5: Glitter in the Storm

Day 6: When the Unimaginable Takes Flight

Day 7: The Light Between

Saturday, April 4, 2026 

Moonset: 7:10 a.m. Sunrise: 7:19 a.m.

Saturday.

The first morning I wondered if there could possibly be another lesson. I had seen so much already this week. Gold breaking through the clouds. Rain softening everything. Snow restoring what felt lost. Birds gathering, scattering, returning. And yesterday, an eagle I still don’t quite have words for.

What more could there be? And yet, that question alone felt telling. As if God’s work could be exhausted. As if revelation comes in a single moment and not in layers that dig deeper.

For the first time all week, the sky was completely clear and cloudless. 

At 6:50 a.m., I glanced out my back window and stopped. Mount Timpanogos was glowing again, bright and white against the early morning. But it didn’t make sense. The sun hadn’t risen.

Then my eyes lifted. A full moon. Still holding its place. Still pouring light across the valley. The “lesser light” felt anything but lesser. It was bold. Steady. Unapologetically present even in the dawn. How many times had it been there this week, hidden behind clouds, still doing its work while I assumed there was nothing to see?

On the drive over, I listened to the new-to-me song, Sunday is Coming. 

“Friday’s good ‘cause Sunday is coming…
Don’t lose hope ‘cause Sunday is coming.”

I drove to the reservoir and paused near Tate Barn, trying to take it in. I snapped a picture, knowing it wouldn’t translate. Some things refuse to be flattened. They insist on being experienced and heaven knows my photography skills are lacking.

As I stepped into the wetlands, I realized I wasn’t looking east. For the first time all week, my eyes were drawn to the west–watching something end instead of waiting for something to begin.

I’ve watched moonrises here. Summer nights on paddleboards, laughter and glowsticks stretching across the water. But I have never waited for a moonset. There is something different about watching light leave. It doesn’t rush. It doesn’t announce itself. It just… lowers. Quietly. As if it trusts that something else will take its place.

And in that brief, almost unnoticed space between the moonset and the sunrise, I was surprised to see the mountains were still lit. I had always assumed there was a handoff. That one light disappears and then the other arrives. A discernible dimming in between.

But there was no temporary dimming. Just a different kind of light.

I set my timer for 7:30 a.m., but at 7:19 I looked up and saw the sun already breaking the horizon. Early, or maybe I was just more aware now.

It rose clean. Unfiltered. No clouds to catch or soften it. No dramatic colors stretching across the sky. The frost on the wetlands shimmered before surrendering. The water held reflections of mountains and my shadow returned.

Nothing about it begged for attention. It simply was.

The birds felt scattered, almost secondary to what was unfolding above. I drove to the east side of the lake, to my familiar paddleboard launch, and found my pelicans gathered in the distance, along with dozens more near me in the water.

But my mind kept returning to those ten minutes between when the moon set and the sun rose. Ten minutes that reminded me I am not standing still, even when I feel like I am. This earth is moving. Turning. Held in place by laws and forces I do not see, orchestrated with precision I do not control.

The sun and the moon feel like opposites. Day and night. Beginning and ending. But they don’t compete. They move in harmony. One yielding, one rising, both constant in their roles.

Today is Saturday. The in-between days of Holy Week following Jesus’ crucifixion. The days that must have felt unbearable to those who loved Him. The Light of the world, gone. Promises spoken, but not yet fulfilled. Hope present, but without proof.

Would I have stayed in that space?  Would I have trusted what I could not yet see?

Mary Magdalene did.

She stayed near the place where Light had been laid to rest. And I wonder if it felt like those ten minutes.  Not empty. Not hopeless. Just suspended.  Held between what was and what would be.

This week, I thought I was waiting for sunrises, just like I’m waiting through some big question marks I can’t control. But I’ve been learning how to wait for something deeper. To trust that even when one light fades, another is already on its way.

 To notice that God does not leave the space in between empty.

 To believe that what feels like an ending may be a new beginning.

The moon sets in the west. The sun rises in the east.

And in the quiet space between, there is enough light to hold on to Him.

Up next:

Day 8: That Glorious Easter Morn!

Day 6: When the Unimaginable Takes Flight

Note: I dusted off my old blog to share a piece of my journey as I waited for the sunrise during Holy Week. Previous posts:

Day 1: Palm Sunday in the Valley

Day 2: Seeing With New Eyes

Day 3: Light Before the Sun

Day 4: Rain that Reveals

Day 5: Glitter in the Storm

Day 6: When the Unimaginable Takes Flight
Friday, April 3, 2026 — Good Friday
Sunrise: after 8
a.m.

It snowed overnight. It was 23°F (-5°C) when I left the house at 6:50 a.m., but the world already felt lighter. Not brighter. Just… softer.

Mount Timpanogos caused me to pull over mid-drive. Fresh snow, yes. But it wasn’t the snow. A full moon was still lingering, pouring its borrowed light across the valley. Lesser light, but it filled everything anyway for a few seconds before slipping behind the mountain.

How many mornings had I missed it while waiting for sunrises…or had it been hidden behind the clouds?

I swapped my rainboots for winter Sorels. I had accidentally grabbed my still-wet gloves from the previous day’s misadventures but kept going anyway.

At the wetlands, yesterday’s slosh had turned to crunch. The same ground, different sound. A thin layer of snow and frost had settled over everything like a quiet reset. I crossed my makeshift bridge and followed the same path. Familiar now. Almost easy.

The sky had flipped again. Heavy clouds sat over the mountains to the east, but just above them, heavenly blue. I doubted I’d catch the exact moment of sunrise over the horizon, but if I waited longer, I’d see something.

I watched a pelican drift across the water, closer than it had been all week. I’ve spent days tracking it, as if I paid enough attention, it might mean something. Maybe it did. Maybe I just needed something steady to follow.

7:30 a.m. came and went. Sunrise, technically. But no sun.

And for the first time this week, I knew I needed to keep waiting. So, I crossed back over the wetlands to the perimeter trail of the Rail Trail and started climbing to a vantage point above the reservoir. The rail trail felt familiar under my feet, but different this time. Not chasing a view. Not chasing a workout. Just… moving. Trusting the light would meet me somewhere.

A few bends in, it did.

No pyrotechnics. No color. Just a pure, steady white breaking above the clouds. Not fighting them. Just existing beyond them. And it undid me a little. Because the sun hadn’t been gone. Not once this week. Not even for a second. Not ever. I just couldn’t see it from where I was standing.

I stood there longer than I planned.  Long enough to feel something settle.

On the way down, I had the most ordinary thought.  I forgot sunscreen. And it made me laugh. The same sun that once felt dangerous now felt like a gift I didn’t want to miss. The risk didn’t disappear. But neither did the need for light.

As I walked back down the trail, I paused to fondly take pictures of my wetlands and was excited to see my pelican again. This time, not alone. Three of them cutting quiet paths across the water. 

And then, without warning, the trees in the foreground shifted.

The elusive eagle.

Not soaring at first, it simply appeared—low and deliberate, then rising, as if it had been there all along, waiting for me to finally look up.

I didn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t want to break whatever was happening.

It circled once. Then again, higher each time, effortless. I stood transfixed for fifteen minutes, just watching, crying. All week, I thought I was the one watching—waiting for sunrises, searching for meaning in the wetlands, following pelicans because they were steady and there. Never imagining I could see the eagle.

I had to wait longer this day to see the sunrise above the mountains, above the clouds. I climbed, paused, waited. And then the light found me—in the climb, in the pause, in the moment I stopped fixating on the familiar and really looked up.

I walked back to the car in the same cold. 28°F (-2°C). Still freezing, but the frost was gone.

I had to wait longer this day to see the sunrise above the mountains and clouds. I climbed, paused, and lingered…and then, in that quiet stretch, the eagle appeared.

Good Friday has never felt especially “good” to me—a day of tension, sorrow, and unfinished stories. But as Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin reminds us:

“Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays.

“But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come.”

Up next:

Day 7: The Light Between

Day 8: That Glorious Easter Morn!

Day 5: Glitter in the Storm

Note: I dusted off my old blog to share a piece of my journey as I waited for the sunrise during Holy Week. Previous posts:

Day 1: Palm Sunday in the Valley

Day 2: Seeing With New Eyes

Day 3: Light Before the Sun

Day 4: Rain that Reveals

Day 5: Glitter in the Storm

Thursday, April 2, 2026

Sunrise: Too cloudy

I usually arrive at Deer Creek Reservoir about 30 minutes before sunrise. Today, I was running a fw minutes late. Light rain fell, the sky heavy with clouds, and the wetlands promised mud, so I parked a few hundred meters down at Tate Barn and stayed on the north side of the reservoir. Crossing the fields, I kept an eye on the Heber Creeper’s railroad tracks lining the west side of the lake. They would become important later. 🙂 

Wearing my trusty rain boots, I thought I knew these wetlands. I was wrong. One step into what looked like a shallow puddle, and the ground betrayed me. Whoosh. My left leg sank up to my hip, and suddenly I was wrestling with the mud like it had a personal vendetta. I grabbed clumps of grass, pulled, flailed, and somehow, finally, freed myself. Boot half full of mud, jacket smeared, phone buzzing madly in my pocket, I stood soaked, muddy, and smelling faintly of wetlands mystery foam.

Cold, wet and ridiculous, I laughed at the mess as I tepidly continued walking across the waterlogged pasture to the wetlands.

Slosh, slosh, slosh.

The entire sky was dark, heavy with rain and clouds, except for one narrow sliver above the eastern mountains. Pelicans floated at the far end of the lake, while a small group of birds gathered closer, oblivious to my soggy, shivering self. Rain fell all around, yet that tiny corner of sky held its ground.

And then it happened. Pure gold. Electric. Glittering. The sunlight forced its way through the navy-blue clouds, illuminating everything directly beneath it. A deliberate, impossible ray—a glitter bomb in the storm. I stopped, soaked and muddy, boots squelching, and just breathed it in. Even in the chaos, there was this miraculous, golden light.

Eager to avoid the Mordor sinkhole, I wandered the wet pasturelands for what felt like forever, boots sloshing with every step, scanning for an escape route. I knew if I could just make it to the railroad tracks, I’d be home free. A deep irrigation stream blocked the way, but eventually I spotted a narrow drainage pipe under the tracks. Not exactly the grand exit, but I scrambled up the steep, muddy embankment tangled in bushes, feeling victorious—and very, very muddy—on my way back to the car.

 At first glance, the day could have seemed a total bust: rain, mud, and many misadventures. And yet, that narrow corner of gold piercing the navy-blue clouds reminded me that light can appear in the most impossible places. 

A Different Kind of Gold

Maundy Thursday carries its own weight. On that day, the Savior shared the Last Supper, washed the Apostles’ feet, and gave the new commandment to love one another. Betrayal shadowed the evening, and His Atonement began in Gethsemane. I felt those final hours deeply when studying at the BYU Jerusalem Center, tracing His path from the Mount of Olives, through Jerusalem, to the trial, and finally the Garden of Gethsemane. Love and fear, devotion and sorrow—they were all there, intertwined. Easter morning brings light, hope, and healing, but Maundy Thursday is a quiet reminder of the weight carried before the dawn.

That evening, I volunteered at the Lindon Temple open house. My four-hour shift started on the second floor, greeting and guiding people as they reached the top of the stairs and directing them along the tour. From that landing, I had a glimpse into the Celestial Room and, just behind me, a painting of the Savior holding a lamb, a few sheep gathered around Him. It was hard not to keep looking back at it between groups.

In front of me, rising up the stairwell, was a four-story stained-glass linden tree. Its branches wound upward like a trellis, blossoms opening with each floor until they formed an arch of flowers at the top. I was told the design reflected a helix, like DNA, the human family intertwined. It felt fitting. All of us moving upward, connected in ways we don’t always see.

Outside, the storm was still holding on. And then, at sunset, something unexpected. Light broke through just enough to catch the linden berries in the glass, turning them a soft, glowing gold. Not dramatic. Just enough to notice if you were paying attention. My second gold moment of the day.

After a couple of hours, I jockied my supervisor for a shift inside the Celestial Room.  It’s one of the most sacred rooms in the temple. A place that represents the presence of God, where everything invites stillness, reverence, and a chance to sit and feel close to Him.

Photo: Celestial Room, Lindon Temple. Credit: Church Newsroom

My supervisor placed me just inside the entrance, right next to a crystal bowl. At perfect toddler height.

So there I stood, trying to feel reverent while also internally committing to a new mission. No one is breaking anything in the Celestial Room on my watch. Not today. Not ever. It wasn’t exactly the spiritual moment I had imagined as I redirected a steady stream of very determined, very mischievous children.

But then I moved to block the bowl from view. And everything changed.

I began to notice people.

Not just that they were entering the room, but what happened as they did. Just before, they were themselves. Talking. Looking around. Carrying whatever they had brought in with them. And then they crossed the threshold. And something softened. It wasn’t just what they saw. It was what they felt.

Reverence settled in. Shoulders dropped. Voices hushed. Most people looked up at the chandelier and the two-story stained-glass window of linden trestles—different from the one in the stairwell, but climbing blossoms reached skyward in a similar, graceful pattern.

 A few paused, as if they weren’t quite sure what had just happened, only that something had. I could tell who had never been in a Celestial Room before. There was a kind of wonder that couldn’t be rehearsed.

One little boy couldn’t stop smiling. A baby pointed at everything in delighted confusion. “Dat… dat… dat.” And one young girl leaned in and whispered to me, “This is so pretty. This is my favorite part.”

And I realized I wasn’t there to manage a room. I was there to witness something sacred unfold in real time.

The day had started in mud. Literally. Rain, cold, a sinkhole that nearly took me out, and a long, wandering path just trying to find my way back. It felt messy. Disjointed. A little absurd.

And yet, right in the middle of that chaos, there had been that narrow, impossible corner of gold breaking through the clouds. Not enough to change the whole sky. Just enough to remind me it was there.

And here it was again. Different setting. Same quiet truth.

Light doesn’t always arrive all at once. It doesn’t always clear the storm or resolve the mess. Sometimes it simply meets you where you are. Small. deliberate. Enough. Grace personalified. 

This week, I thought I was waiting for sunrises, just like I’m waiting through these big question marks I can’t control. But maybe what I’ve been learning is how to recognize light before everything clears. To trust it, even when it feels partial. To stay, even when the outcome isn’t obvious.

Because whether in a storm-soaked wetland or a quiet, sacred room, He is there. Not always changing everything at once.

But always, quietly, enough.

Up next:

Day 6: When the Unimaginable Takes Flight

Day 7: The Light Between

Day 8: That Glorious Easter Morn!

Day 4: Rain That Reveals

Note: I dusted off my old blog to share a piece of my journey as I waited for the sunrise during Holy Week. Previous posts:

Day 1: Palm Sunday in the Valley

Day 2: Seeing With New Eyes

Day 3: Light Before the Sun

Day 4: Rain That Reveals

April 1, 2026

Sunrise time: Too cloudy

I had a thought this morning. How different this week would feel if I had chosen a different place to wait for the sunrise. I could have hiked up Memorial Hill each day. Earned the view. Watched the whole valley wake up at once. It would have been beautiful and efficient. A sunrise with a side of cardio.

But instead, I chose the wetlands by Deer Creek. Quiet. Flat. Sometimes muddy. A place that doesn’t try to impress you. And I’m glad I did. There’s a difference between watching a sunrise and waiting for one. I’ve watched plenty. But waiting at least 30 minutes for it to appear… that’s rarer.

The last time I really remember waiting was on Mount Sinai when I was a student at the BYU Jerusalem Center 25 years ago. We dragged ourselves up that winding desert trail in the dark, half-asleep, occasionally dodging camels who seemed just as inconvenienced as we were. And then we reached the top. Huddled together against the wind. Singing. Watching the sky slowly give way to light. It felt sacred. Like truth was breaking over the horizon.

Back then, I was mostly waiting for my life to begin. It’s a different kind of waiting now.

I woke up too early again, 4:30 a.m. Even the cat, who keeps nightclub hours, stayed asleep. It rained all night. Not ideal for a sunrise, but exactly what we’ve been praying for. I traded in my dad’s old lumberjack jacket for my Arc’teryx ski jacket and rain boots and headed out for my Holy Week pilgrimage.

At the reservoir, I changed course. The wetlands felt too risky in the mud, so I followed the railroad tracks south. Eventually, a narrow path opened through tall grasses and led me to a small stream, fed from the Alpine Loop. 

The birds were different today. Softer. Hazy. Like they were singing from behind a veil. The high notes carried, light and steady, while the lower voices chimed in only when necessary. A reverent little choir, less Tabernacle at Temple Square and more early-morning ward practice.

The clouds hung low over the mountains, blurring the line between earth and sky. You couldn’t quite tell where one ended and the other began.

I walked across the wetlands right up to the water’s edge. Raindrops fell in perfect circles, one after another. Small, steady evidence of abundance. In a place that has felt devastatingly dry this winter, the Lord was quietly restoring.

When the time came for the sunrise, there was no dramatic reveal. No burst of color. No fire on the water. Just daylight in the valley. Soft. Diffused. Enough.

 And I realized I wasn’t disappointed because even without seeing the sun, the light was still there. And everything around me had changed because of what had fallen from heaven overnight. The colors were deeper. Richer. More alive. Maybe that’s part of the lesson in waiting.

Sometimes the miracle isn’t the moment the sun breaks over the horizon.

Sometimes it’s the rain that came before it.

Up next:

Day 5: Glitter in the Storm

Day 6: When the Unimaginable Takes Flight

Day 7: The Light Between

Day 8: That Glorious Easter Morn!

Day 3: Light before the sun

Note: I dusted off my old blog to share a piece of my journey as I waited for the sunrise during Holy Week. Previous posts:

Day 1: Palm Sunday in the Valley

Day 2: Seeing With New Eyes

Day 3: Light before the sun

Tuesday, March 31

Sunrise time: Too cloudy

My three-year streak of questionable sleep continues. At least I’m consistent. 4:30 a.m. again. I lay there for a bit, then gave in. Prayer. Music. Email. Social media. 

Flies of Light

Somehow, I ended up reading about a lightning bug farm in Utah County. Actual fireflies in Utah at the Thompson Century Farm. What? Immediate bucket list item. I even requested to join their Facebook group before I was fully awake.

Here’s what’s remarkable. Utah’s high desert is not a natural home for fireflies. They thrive in warm, humid environments. Think the American South. Long summer nights, dense vegetation, consistent moisture. Fireflies depend on that kind of habitat. Damp soil, standing water, and dark skies where their light can actually be seen. Which makes their presence here… remarkable.

It means something intentional is happening. Conditions are being carefully created and protected. Darkness preserved. Moisture sustained. A whole environment quietly working together so something small and fleeting can shine. 

A Glimpse of Narnia

On my way to the reservoir, I noticed something I hadn’t seen before. The streetlight in front of my neighbor’s house flickered—dimmed, nearly went out, then came back. Solar-powered. Trying to shine, but it wasn’t quite light enough yet. It felt like something out of The Chronicles of Narnia with that lone lamppost glowing in a land where it is always winter, never quite morning. Not bright enough to change everything.  But still—lit.

It was the flickering that stayed with me.  Because sometimes the light doesn’t feel steady. It wavers. It strains. It almost disappears. And yet it comes back. Not because the darkness is weak, but because the light is persistent.

The Reservoir

A storm is rolling in on Wednesday and Thursday. After months without meaningful precipitation, I am here for it but was hopeful I’d have at least one more clear day to wait for the sun. Nope. Grey skies. No break in the clouds where the sun should be rising. Still, I went.

I decided to push farther today, toward the reservoir. The wetlands were muddy and I needed to find a way across the stream. Easier said than done when your long-jump days are behind you and one leg is still recovering from surgery

I headed toward what I thought was a bridge but as I got closer, I realized it was a beaver dam. Beavers are excellent engineers, just not for human crossing (not exactly OSHA-approved). I found a narrow stretch, committed to the jump, and landed squarely on my bad leg straight into the mud. Which, under normal circumstances, is fine. A little mud never hurt anyone. Unless you count the time Jamie and I nearly lost our lives on the Na Pali Coast last year, slipping through what can only be described as nature’s version of a death trap. 

Today felt a lot less dramatic. The birds were quieter. Even the Canadian geese kept their distance, flying away the moment they spotted me. The whole place felt hushed. 

I made it to the reservoir.

My two white pelicans floated further down the lake, calm and unbothered. I remembered when I took my brother Jade’s ex paddleboarding and she got stuck out there when the winds picked up. A kayaker towed her back in a dramatic rescue. Today, everything was still.

It was warmer than I expected. Calm before the storm. And yet the sky remained completely covered. No golden light. No dramatic sunrise. Just a steady, quiet light spreading through the clouds.

It was… different. Disappointing, at first. But then my mind went to Book of Genesis.

Day one: “Let there be light.” 

Light existed before the sun. Before it was ever organized, named, or fully seen. The sun, moon, and stars wouldn’t come until later, on the fourth day. God didn’t wait for perfect conditions or visible sources to create light. And standing there, under a sky where I couldn’t see the sun at all, there was still light. Soft. Diffused. Undeniable. It hadn’t disappeared. It just looked different.

I started walking back, realizing this was the first morning all week I hadn’t been wrapped in golden rays. No dramatic payoff for waking up early. No cinematic moment. And yet… it counted.

As I crossed the wetlands, I noticed a large log, a curiosity without any trees nearby. Could this work? It was definitely heavier than anything my doctor would recommend lifting right now. But also… it was a bridge. And that felt important. So I carried it. Awkwardly. And set it across the narrowest part of the stream. Perfect fit. A bridge where there hadn’t been one. 

It hit me almost immediately. Sometimes the sunrise doesn’t show up the way you expect. Sometimes the light is hidden behind clouds. But that doesn’t mean God isn’t still providing exactly what you need in that moment. No sun. But a bridge.

I kept walking, picking up bits of trash along the way. I noticed a pile of massive railroad ties near the parking lot that I couldn’t possibly move. And yet somehow, in the middle of the wetlands, there had been one log that was the exact size I needed, right when I needed it.

Driving home, the first song that came on was Daughter of Light from Strive to Be. And the thought settled in so clearly it almost surprised me. Light looks different when you can’t see it in the sky.

Sometimes it flickers. 

Sometimes it’s diffused. 

Sometimes it shows up as a bridge instead of a sunrise.

And always—because of Jesus Christ—it’s already there.

Up next:

Day 4: Rain that Reveals

Day 5: Glitter in the Storm

Day 6: When the Unimaginable Takes Flight

Day 7: The Light Between

Day 8: That Glorious Easter Morn!

Day 2: Seeing with New Eyes

Note: I dusted off my old blog to share a piece of my journey as I waited for the sunrise during Holy Week.

Previous post: Day 1: Palm Sunday in the Valley

Day 2: Seeing with New Eyes

Monday, March 30, 2026

Sunrise time:  7:30 a.m.

My first day back to work after a two-week break felt like a slog, especially after waking at 3 a.m. and lying awake until 4:30. But just before my alarm, the birds began their chorus—a wake-up that usually annoys me. Today, I leapt out of bed.

I grabbed my dad’s warm Canadian lumberjack jacket and drove to the reservoir. Stepping out of the car, the first sound was theirs. The birds claiming the pre-dawn. Even on only my second morning, the newly revealed wetlands felt familiar, as if the landscape remembered me.

I followed their song through the reeds down to the water. Many moved in twos, scattering when I approached, and I felt a pang of jealousy. How easily they flew when uncomfortable and threatened. Free in the air, unburdened, unbound.

A photographer pulled up in the parking lot and tediously made his way through the wetlands. From time to time, I glanced over at him in disbelief—his camera pointed south while the sunrise waited to burn in the east. What was he doing? He was missing it. 

My attention returned to two white figures I’d first mistaken for swans—pelicans—floating in the quiet water, completely present, not worried about what the next hour might bring. I wanted in.

Beneath my feet, the reservoir’s bottom had emerged from the drought—mud and rust-colored reeds with a few sprigs of green, life thriving above the surface. Absence had created something new and unexpected. Curious, I found a path to an adjacent pond I hadn’t reached the day before, hopping over pockets of water.

I was so preoccupied with my explorations that I almost missed the sun as it rose slowly, a yellow fire spilling across the water. Warmth, assurance. I didn’t have long to linger before I needed to head home. It still burned just as hard as the day before but I didn’t let my gaze linger too long this time.

As I walked back to the car, clouds dimmed the light. And just like that, the golden kingdom vanished.

The photographer was back in the parking lot, and at this point, we were probably equally curious about each other. He told me he’d been unsuccessfully tracking a pair of eagles that had settled across the lake for the winter. It sounded incredible, but I’m not exactly a wildlife photographer. Spotting an eagle seemed way above my pay grade.

He asked if I came here often. I mumbled my answer that I was watching the sunrise all week. But on the drive home, as the sun reappeared—bright and bold—I realized what I should have said. Yes. I’ve lived here ten years. I’ve surfed, swum, paddleboarded, even cold-plunged this lake in the winter. 

And yet, only this week had I truly slowed down to wait for the sunrise. Only now had I really seen it. Only now had I begun to understand the quiet freedom in being present—and the peace that comes from trusting God’s hand in how the day unfolds.

Up next:

Day 3: Light Before the Sun

Day 4: Rain that Reveals

Day 5: Glitter in the Storm

Day 6: When the Unimaginable Takes Flight

Day 7: The Light Between

Day 8: That Glorious Easter Morn!

Day 1: Palm Sunday in the Valley

Note: I dusted off my old blog to share a piece of my journey as I waited for the sunrise during Holy Week.

Day 1: Palm Sunday in the Valley

Sunday, March 29, 2026

Sunrise time:  7:31

Last summer, my friend Kelly King was navigating a difficult chapter of her life. During that time, she received a simple invitation: slow down and wait for the sunrise. She chose how many days she would commit, then waited at least 30 minutes for the sunrise each morning.

It became transformative.

As she waited every day for something as constant and dependable as the rising sun, she began to feel peace. She began to trust. There was something about watching the light return, again and again, that reminded her that God is just as constant.

I am walking through a season of deep, uncertain waiting—facing the possibility of upheaval while learning to trust in God’s timing. Early on Palm Sunday, I felt a quiet prompting to try it myself—each day this week leading up to Easter, in honor of Holy Week.

I decided I would wait for the sunrise at Deer Creek Reservoir. Since moving to the Heber Valley a decade ago, it’s quietly become the heart of our life, part of the view we wake up to every day from our window. I’ve surfed the lake at first light, paddleboarded in stillness, and kayaked under full moons. Jamie and I have a hidden spot for night swims, and I’ve even hosted a New Year’s Day cold plunge for my fellow lunatics. I’ve spent countless hours hiking and biking the perimeter trail above the reservoir. Nearby, at Olympic venue Soldier Hollow, I’ve watched Bode race and spend seasons coaching in both skiing and mountain biking, all beneath the quiet watch of Mount Timpanogos.

It’s our happy place.

That Palm Sunday morning, I parked near the Soldier Hollow train depot and began walking toward the lake.

Because of the drought, the water has receded, leaving a landscape that feels almost unfamiliar. I followed a new-to-me path for a long stretch down to the water’s edge. What should be underwater is now exposed—wetlands where open water once stretched. Reeds and grasses grow in mud that used to be deep, and small pockets of still water remain, holding traces of life in this unexpected place.

The birds owned the pre-dawn. Egrets, pelicans, sandhill cranes, calling and clamoring, arced across the sky in flocks. Along the water’s edge, some moved in twos. Their voices rose loudest just before the dawn, filling the quiet with movement and life. The cold air felt alive with it.

I watched and waited for 30 minutes until….the grand finale.

I saw the sunrise first, not in the sky, but reflected in the water. Color came before light.

Slowly, the sun itself began to rise over the mountains to the east.

The valley was still cool and misty, but the light began to fill it. With that light came warmth, pushing back the cold in my fingers and toes. When the sun crested the horizon, it almost blinded me—pink, effervescent, dizzying. So bright I couldn’t look at it for long.

I turned to look west toward Mount Timpanogos, now fully ignited, and for the first time that morning, I saw my shadow stretched out in front of me.

And I thought of the words in Psalm 23 that have deeply impacted me these past few difficult weeks:

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”

We often talk about miracles—about Jesus walking on water. And He did.

But there is something sacred about the valleys, too.

There is still beauty there. And there are lessons we may not learn anywhere else if we trust Him.

 Even when the landscape of our lives has changed in ways we didn’t expect…

 Even when it feels like we are standing on ground that should be covered in something deeper…

He is with us.

Today, I was reminded that sometimes it’s in the waiting that life is most alive. And the warmth we’re seeking is already waiting for us—just on the other side of the shadow.

And His light always comes.

Up next:

Day 2: Seeing With New Eyes

Day 3: Light Before the Sun

Day 4: Rain that Reveals

Day 5: Glitter in the Storm

Day 6: When the Unimaginable Takes Flight

Day 7: The Light Between

Day 8: That Glorious Easter Morn!

Happy 18th Birthday, Bode!

Bode, 

Eighteen years have flown by and what a ride it has been! Even from the beginning, you were self-assured and content with whatever lot you were given. A kind, silly peacemaker who wasn’t afraid to stand up for yourself. Your preschool teacher once told us you were a quiet leader in the class and the kids looked up to you but you weren’t afraid to say, “I don’t wike dat,” if they crossed your boundaries.

P.S. Never forget K-A-R-L-A.

If your junior year was a series of difficult valleys, senior year was one summit after another. After two years of exchange students, you launched into senior year solo, loaded with AP and college classes, including your favorite CAPS (Center for Advanced Placement Studies), a great primer for business school. They granted you two of your three scholarships. 

You jumped back into the comp team at Soldier Hollow and had a great time skiing with your friends while juggling school and your job at the ranch. If there’s anything that made you grow the last few years, it’s working at the ranch. You grew in confidence and capability over the years, so much so that your boss Jared offered you a business internship when you get back from your mission and to house you for free on his gorgeous property.  Even though he’s not a member of the church, he offered to buy you a suit for your mission. He knows quality when he sees it.  

You were inducted into the National Honor Society and a captain for the mountain bike team. There were so many highs, lows and hards in this incredible sport and you learned a lot being bumped to the back after quitting due to surgery last year and slogging your way up. At the State Championship, the senior division had 250 riders. You started in 108th and finished 20th, moving up 88 SPOTS. Other highs: finding your community with this band of brothers, learning to dig deep in the hard, the incredible coaches/volunteers/photographers and the pre-race and race day food. So. Much. Food.

You’ve had some great Park City ski days and fun travels this year. Fall break college tours at USU, BYU Idaho and the family cabin in Island Park. And then the State Championships in St. George with our besties the Iversons, Bairds and Seversons while we juggled hikes, boating and questionable gambling rings. You went on a long weekend trip with the bike team to Palm Springs and somehow did an 80+ mile ride. Spring Break was a memorable backpacking trip with our friends the Sorensons to Devil’s Kitchen in the Needles District where, once again, your Scout leader Rob had you dangling from a 100-foot rappel. Some people never learn.

And, of course, we’re still processing our fabulous European tour as we traveled to Paris and Normandy (Omaha Beach and Mont St. Michel). Next, it was a train ride to Geneva to visit Maelle’s family and most memorable of all: staying at their chalet in Leissigen, the heart of the Swiss Alps. We then flew to Madrid to see Pablo and his mom and we spent a few memorable days in Calpe on the Mediterranean Sea getting slammed by waves, cliff jumping, snorkeling off the boat and climbing the famous Peñon de Ifach and eating Paella. A lot of it. And after Pablo’s Catan triumph his final day in Utah, you solidly secured your victory–twice–when in Spain. He’s probably still reeling from the loss. 

There were so many other great times: A Harry Potter Sadie Hawkins with Siena (or Bellatrix), an emotional banquet and Scouting send-off for Rob, a Mexican-themed Christmas Eve after serving a refugee family from Mexico, a T-rex showdown with your mom at Christmas, serving as Bishop Price’s assistant and learning how to become a tremendous leader. He was one of your biggest fans and texted us once that the lessons you taught was one of the best he’d ever heard in Priest’s Quorum. I’m sure it started with hangmen, your signature game.

And then there was your memorable BYU acceptance. You were in Palm Springs with the bike team when it came and Dad and I excitedly called you to open it. “NOW is a bad time,” you complained but we made you do it anyway, later learning you were fixing a flat on the side of the road during your loooooong ride. “Yes, I got in.” It was the least enthusiastic acceptance of all time. But well-earned after a lot of hard work.

Spring was busy with your wisdom teeth removal and besides sounding like Chewbawka when they escorted you out, it was otherwise pretty chill. But then came your mission call opening. You opted to open it with just Dad, Hadley and me with Mochi looking earnestly on. At first, Dad thought you were joking when you announced Toronto–that was HIS mission! The next day, you opened your call in front of lots of friends and family and we were overwhelmed with the love and support. Some missions feel foreign, exciting or maybe even a little bit scary. This one feels just like coming home. 

Your final month of school was full to the brim. Seminary graduation. High school graduation. Scholarship night. And not to be forgotten, the Cool2Care assembly where you were plucked out of the audience as a finalist to win a truck. You competed for your sport in a musical chairs competition but were sadly bumped in the final 5 showdown. Clearly, you didn’t learn from your dad’s animalistic prowess in that game. 

All these accolades are applaudable but what makes you an extraordinary human is understated humor, your kindness, your faith and your thoughtfulness. It’s the little things. Separating the chicken that was pecked by the other hens. Gently caring for a sick lamb or ailing goat. Setting towels out for Mochi all over the house because you know that’s his favorite place to sit. Always being willing to help Dad and me by asking, “Anything else?”

You’ve made yourself irreplaceable in our home and hearts and while we can’t help but feel sad about the gaping hole you will leave in our family for the next two years, we can’t wait to see all the lives you bless as you fly.

Go get ‘em, Kid. 

Love, Mom