Great Canadian Road Trip Leg 1: Denver to Utah

I’ll be jumping around over the next couple of weeks in an attempt to document our Great Canadian Road Trip. Leg 1 from Denver to Salt Lake City was via Wyoming’s desolate wastleland (sorry Wyomingites but there’s no other way to describe the painful drive along I-80).

Why would we endure that route, given the beautiful passage along I-70 through Vail and Glenwood Springs? Simple: Bode wanted to get a $0.50 ice cream cone from Little America in middle-of-nowhere Wyoming.

Yes, that’s correct, folks. I endured nine hours of mind-numbing boredom for that. Just call me Mother of the Year.

In Salt Lake City, we met up with Haddie (who had flown out the previous Friday) and I spent a memorable couple of days hanging out with Jamie’s family. We hit Liberty Park with my scrumptious twin nieces….
Where we played for hours at Seven Canyons (the park’s unique water feature), on the merry go-round, Ferris wheel and cooled down with guava snow cones.
I spent a quick 36 hours in Salt Lake City before leaving the kids with my mother-in-law Linda as I attended Evo Conference in Salt Lake City (more on that tomorrow).

Linda had purchased outfits for her four grandchildren and in decidedly ambitious move she, my brother-in-law Jeremy, his wife Tammy and the four kids set out to Wheeler Farm to attempt cousin pictures.

You will note I said attempt.

Jeremy is an ace photographer but not even he could tackle this assignment. Between Bode’s inability to smile and the roaming toddler twins, not even one picture of the four of them turned out.

That would be 0 out of 900.

I’d say better luck next time but judging from Tammy’s near nervous breakdown, it won’t be anytime soon.

Kids Being Kids at Park City’s Gorgoza (Tubing) Park

When I was single in my late-20s, my friend Garritt and I went tubing at Gorgoza Park in Park City. As we shot down the mountain at unconscionable speeds, we giggled like a couple of school girls.

However at one point, we were mortified when we realized we were the only ones our age without children.

Fast-forward 10 years and my family of four went tubing at Gorgoza Park for the first time together…and had an amazing time. I finally felt like I had full license to be a kid, with my kids.

I grew up tubing on a steep gully in Canada but since moving to Colorado, our sledding efforts have been sub-par at best because the snow in our area is frequently too powdery, which prevents us from going more than 0.0005 mile/hour and it’s not easy to pull two small children up a steep hill!

Enter: Gorgoza Park’s lift-serviced, impeccably groomed and fast runs.

It had been a bluebird day, which transpired into a starry night. We connected with one of my best college friends Lori, and her family of five, at the base and later went back to our condo for pizza.

Both of my children met the 42-inch minimum height requirement to tube the upper part of the hill but I figured 4-year-old Bode would want to play it safe and stay lower.

I was wrong.

After a couple of runs on his small tube, he announced he wanted to go higher. Even his 6-year-old sister (whom I have dubbed “Adventure Girl”) was wary. We swapped their small tubes for large ones and made the pilgrimage to the top. As we gazed down the four steep tracks, Bode squealed, “I’m weady!”

With that, he linked up to my husband’s tube and tore down the mountain. It was one of those tender moments as a mother when I witnessed my little guy growing up.

Then I proceeded to link up to my daughter’s tube and scream like a baby the enter way down.

Our starlit night was replete with ecstatic faces, new horizons, dear friends, hot chocolate in the warm-up yurt and lasting memories. It is what Dirty Dancing’s song, “I had the time of my life” is all about.

But with good, clean tubing.

Gorgoza Park adult prices: $8 (1 ride), $22 (2 hours), $33 (4 hours). Individuals under 42”: $4 (1 ride, $12 (2 hours), $18 (4 hours). Persons less than 42″ (must be 3 years old) are limited to 390′ conveyor and lower lanes.

Address: 3863 Kilby Rd in Park City, 435.658.264.

Park City Mountain Resort’s Alpine Coaster: Slowpokes Need Not Apply

My young children are adrenaline junkies. At least that is the conclusion I’ve come to based upon their addiction to Park City Mountain Resort’s Alpine Coaster.

Or maybe they’re all about scaring the bejeebers out of their mom.

After a full day of skiing, we took two runs down the Alpine Coaster. For my kids, “brake” is a bad word and we are expected to go full-throttle.

For the first run, 6-year-old Hadley went with my husband while my son and I followed. When we reached the bottom, I found my jubilant but disappointed daughter who said they had caught up to the people in front who were riding the brake the whole way.

Gasp! Not the dreaded “b” word!

For our second run, I promised my daughter we’d follow my speedy husband. I even interrogated the parents in front of them to see if we needed to give them a head start at the base. They, too had adrenaline-addicted children and assured us it wouldn’t be a problem.

The problem was the car in front of them that came to a literal standstill on the tracks, causing a potentially disastrous and dangerous situation. The parents in front of us took charge.

“HURRY UP, DON’T STOP!”

The perpetrator was riding with his 7-year-old son and shouted back, “Hey, I’ve got a kid on-board.”

He then turned around to discover he’d caused a traffic jam that consisted of much younger kids and so he sheepishly kicked his car into gear.

Lesson learned: There is a special place in this world for the brake-riders of this world.

And it ain’t in front of us.

So it begins (the ski season, that is)

We’re in the throes of ski season and are having a grand ol’ time. Last week, we hit Echo Mountain (details forthcoming), two weeks ago, it was Park City Mountain Resort and in a few weeks we’ll be skiing Telluride followed by Crested Butte Mountain Resort.

My torn meniscus is throbbing just thinking about it all.

When we were at Park City Mountain Resort, we enrolled the kids in their their Signature 3 and 5 ski school classes. Bode was delighted to meet THE “Frosty the Snowman” (he had the name tag to prove it) while Hadley was greeted by a fun-loving instructor:

“Hadley, I am going to be your butler today. Do you know what a butler is?”
She shook her head.
“I will do anything you want and will also bring you hot cocoa.”

He has hereby set the bar too high for all future suitors.

With the children happily in their classes, Jamie and I braced ourselves for the onslaught of holiday skiers but were shocked to practically have the mountain to ourselves for the first two hours.

Around 11 a.m., the lines started picking up but we didn’t care. We had found some great stashes of untracked powder that the resort had received in the last 24 hours and marveled at the unprecedented 84-inch base that early in the season.

For lunch, we had the best burger and nachos on this earth at Legends Bar & Grill (I exaggerate not. Jamie spends the entire year craving these bad boys). We skied a fun runs after that but we knew it was time to call it a day as we stood in the long line at the Silverlode lift. Some funky music was blasting and my husband muttered something to me.

Me: “What did you say? You want to sing the blues?”
Jamie “No, I said ‘I want to see the Boos!” (Our nickname for the children).

I blamed it on the helmet…and blond hair underneath it.

We retrieved two very jubilant children whose instructors had filled out a through progress report for us to track. Bode’s teacher said he had a great attitude and was working on stopping with a wedge (though he excelled at going straight). This was not a surprise.

We did, after all, name him after ski racing legend Bode Miller.

As for Hadley, she learned how to skate ski across flat terrain and mastered linking her wedge turns. She is apparently already plotting her escape from us.

“Mommy, how old do I have to be to ski without you and Daddy?”

And so it begins.

Christmas in pictures

As chaotic as it is to travel for Christmas, our vacation was surprisingly low-key. We spent a few days with Grandma and Grandpa, which, of course, included Christmas morning.

The pillage of the stockings.

We opened most of our presents before flying to Utah but Santa was in charge of bringing the most desired presents. A Criss-cross Hot Wheels Track for the boy.


And Zhu-Zhu pets for the girl.

These battery-operated hamsters are about as close as I’ll ever get to allowing rodents in my home.

I am remiss I didn’t get more pictures of Jamie’s family, especially these darling cousins.


Though getting them to pose together was nearly impossibly because Berkley kept rubbing in the fact that she can crawl.

Of course, a trip to Salt Lake City over the holidays would not be complete without visiting Temple Square, arguably one of the most beautiful places on earth at Christmastime.


Our Christmas miracle is that not one of us got sick. However, we somehow still got blamed for infecting Jamie’s sister’s family when she came down with strep the day we left for Park City Mountain Resort. I mean, just look at this clan. Do you really think we’d be capable of such a thing?

Then again, don’t answer that.

It’s Christmas [Eve] in the [Salt Lake] City

Since we’ve been married, Jamie and I have alternated spending Christmases with my family and his. Unfortunately, plane tickets are $800 to the Motherland so we were relegated to spending them in Utah. In so doing, we missed my brother Pat’s epic Christmas sweater with battery-operated lights.

Oh wait. This is it.
Though they’re pretty much the same thing.

Jamie’s sister did a fantastic job hosting Christmas Eve. You know that one chick…what was her name again? Oh yeah: Martha Stewart. Well, she has nothing on Tammy Porter who got her start working at the global interior design firm, Gensler.

I’m willing to bet Martha didn’t dine on Pork Tacos with Avocado Poblano Guacamole, Mexican sodas and Sticky Pudding with luscious caramel sauce.

And let us not forgot our darling twin cousins. During our previous attempt at cousin pictures last summer, Bode let Ava do a face plant.

They fared much better this time around.

Back in Canada, Christmas Eve is THE MAIN EVENT with a compendium of appetizers, a gift exchange, the left-right game, playing the bells, a Christmas story and more irreverence than I care to admit.

The year bum darts was introduced was definitely a low point.

Wanting to integrate some of our family’s traditions, Jamie’s sweet sister suggested we do a gift-exchange game at the last minute, which sent Jamie and I scrambling to local stores for just the right gifts. We decided to do a repeat performance of the White Elephant Gift of the Year we introduced last week: a picture of The Great Pumpkin.

I explained the rules and because we had a much smaller group (eight people), I declared we would only do two trades per round. Well, bless their hearts, that crazy Johnson clan misunderstood and thought I meant a gift could only be traded twice and then it was off-limits.

Such corruption of my beloved games is equal unto my reaction when, shortly after Jamie and I got married, they declared the Rook is to be played high and not low.

I have not been able to play my beloved card game with them ever since.

Turns out the joke was on us because Jamie’s pumpkin picture was the very last picture to be chosen and in a twisted turn of fate, he was the one who ended up with it.

He said it was the very best gift exchange ever.


Merry Christmas!!!!!

Cruising the Subway in Zion National Park

Venturing into the backcountry with a large gallimaufry of strangers has, in the past, instilled a deep sense of uneasiness within me. The ability level, pace and attitude of the individuals are of course wildcards, but even more frightening is the prospect that they share my ill-fated knack for getting into precarious situations.

So when my friend Ray (who, like the Queen Bee, only travels in swarms) suggested we plunge through the Subway with 10 of his friends, I was apprehensive. Exquisitely carved by the Left Fork of North Creek, this slot canyon in Zion National Park is a strenuous 9.5-mile hike—not a place to test the odds. While the lower canyon is a challenging but non-technical route, the upper canyon beyond the Subway is one of Zion’s great adventures that requires route finding through young lava flows and ancient sedimentary rocks, swimming through pools and cascades, and rappelling down waterfalls.

The Subway’s popularity has started to rival its famous counterpart, the Narrows. Beginning at the town of Virgin, 15 miles west of the South Entrance, the road into Kolob Canyon climbs 4,400 feet in 16 miles past jutting rocks, stiletto cliffs and soaring plateaus.The road winds past the Guardian Angel Peaks and eventually ends up at Lava Point, a fire lookout station at 7,900 feet.The panorama takes in Cedar Breaks to the north, the Pink Cliffs to the northeast, Zion Canyon Narrows to the east, and the Sentinel to the southeast.

We camped in a nearby campground, which brought a sense of containment. The colossal temples of Zion, christened after celestial deities, cocooned us. Gradually my focus narrowed to a starlit expanse of sky and I watched the Big Dipper poke its handle from the horizon. Then the canyon sucked in some wind. Cool gusts snapped by, and the pliant cottonwood crowns brushed against the starlight.

Ray’s group eventually filtered in, starting with Debbie and our technical climber, Doug. As the only one who had done the Subway, we were relying upon his expertise and guidance.I asked him how he knew Ray. “I don’t actually know him,” he replied. “I’m on an e-mail list and I indirectly received an invite.” A warning flag went off within me–our only experienced technical climber was an unknown quotidian? I joked that for all we knew, he could be an axe murderer.

As it happens, he did produce an axe later to chop firewood—a coincidence?

Around midnight, the rest of the now-weary group drove in:Ray, Tony, Stephanie, Telford, Joseph, Ray W., Jeff, Julie and Renée.Our site’s two car and eight people limit had been exceeded by four cars and seven people. When the park host pointed this out the next morning, I sweetly explained I was never very good at math. Somehow the dumb blonde approach worked and he let us off the hook.

Sandwiched in the Subway

The Subway. The name alone conjures up a mosaic of puns. During our passage through this slick-rock funhouse, I heard several wordplays that revolved around paying tokens for access and cruising down the subway. But after bouldering, climbing, swimming and hiking through this sinuous canyon, I decided the best analogy of all was that it was a little like eating a Subway sandwich in your kitchen, only you’re canyoneering down a murky slot canyon in Zion and you are the sandwich. The tufts of skin I left behind on a few rock ledges made a tasty snack for this circular, tube-like canyon.
Prior to setting out, we stopped at the Visitor’s Center to obtain our permit. The Left Fork is limited to 50 people per day and is the only route in Zion for which you can reserve a permit in advance. Permits may be picked up one day prior to the trip. Ten of the 50 spaces are set aside for walk-ins, so though reservations are not required they are advised due to the increasing popularity of the hike.

The most popular way to hike the Subway is to begin at the Wildcat Canyon Trailhead and end at the Left Fork Trailhead off Kolob Terrace Road. I served as the shuttle and dropped my Jeep off at the Left Fork Trailhead. I then hopped in the car with Telford and Joseph and we proceeded to the Wildcat Canyon trailhead. Telford and Joseph were my first exposure to Ray’s group and they warped me back to the 70s as they animatedly belted out the lyrics to Led Zeppelin. To their credit–they had a limited amount of sleep after driving all day so perhaps they were delirious. To their discredit–maybe that was really their normal condition.

Upon reaching the well-marked Wildcat Canyon trailhead, our group of 12 eased across the wooded, basalt-capped upland that was cloaked in a verdant woodland. Telford, a landscape architect in Arizona, assumed the role as tour guide extraordinaire.I teased him about his qualifications.A landscape architect in Arizona seemed like an oxymoron—what else is there to landscape besides rock and cacti in that barren desert?I was quickly silenced as he pointed out the ponderosa pine, white fir, Douglas fir, quaking aspens and then the ferns that were located in damp niches along the Kolob Terrace.The guy knew his flora and fauna.

We continued east 1.2 miles to the Northgate Peaks Trail Junction and then hiked 0.1 miles on the Northgate Peaks Trail until the forest began to open. Upon reaching the canyon rim, we gazed down into the sloping defile of Russell Gulch, with massive cliffs of Navajo sandstone rising beyond. Incessant winds had piled the grains into dunes that swept across the land.Hiking with care, we descended the rhythmic diversity of swirling, tilted and angular beds on an eroded surface toward the canyon bottom. Numerous trails, some cairned by past hikers, threaded their way down the steep slope.

Playfully, Tony leapt out behind the rocks a couple of times, scaring the bejeeters out of me. I obligingly let out a blood-curling shriek that stimulated raucous chuckles from the guys and their subsequent attempts to traumatize me. It took a record 45 minutes on the trail for them to realize that I am an easy target for teasing and torture.

We eventually landed upon a lofty point that overlooked the confluence of Russell Gulch and the Left Fork.From there, we made the crude, steep descent down a narrow gully of loose rocks and sand.Upon reaching the bottom, we were greeted by a large pool in Russell Gulch, whose walls had been streaked by years of mineral-laden waters.Twenty yards downstream marked the transit through the sculpted gorge of the Left Fork of North Creek. Sprawled between two somber monoliths, this cavernous, empty hallway wrapped us in an inescapable embrace.

From there, we sought the path of least resistance and boulder hopped our way up the canyon from one side of the small stream to another. Most of us had worn Tevas and those who wore hiking boots weren’t too worried about getting them wet.Except for Joseph.I watched with great amusement as he leapt from ledge to ledge with Superman-like dexterity in an attempt to stay dry.To his credit—he had some pretty spectacular jumps.To his discredit—he actually had Tevas in his pack and didn’t bother to bring them out until the hike was almost over.Oh, and he likes Led Zeppelin.

The first obstacle was only 200 yards from the Russell Creek junction–a bulky boulder that choked the narrow canyon and formed a 15-foot drop.A rope was positioned halfway down for hikers to rappel themselves to the canyon floor but there was a precipitous descent to reach it.A couple of the guys climbed down the face without benefit of ropes.The rest of us shimmied down the crack on the right side between the boulder and canyon wall.

The canyon narrowed after this point and we arrived at two deep pools laden with frogs sunbathing on the rocks.There was no way around it—Joseph’s feet would get wet, and we would have to swim.We all took different waterproofing measures—Ray put the contents of his pack in garbage bags, and others tossed their packs to those on the other side.But simplest of all was Jeff, whose waterproofing strategy was to keep his pack above water as he swam.This worked for the first few pools, but the last deep pool sent him spiraling beneath the surface. Just when I thought I had lost sight of him, I noticed something…an arm.Holding a pack above the water. I chuckled at his dogged determination and could almost hear him fervently chanting “Must…keep…pack…dry” underwater.

As we swam through the frigid waters of the pools, an almost palpable shiver ran through the group.The sun was our only reprieve as it bathed us and the surrounding monoliths in a golden light, its rays suffused with molten gold and pink shafts of light.The scene was a magical mixture of vegetation and stone, waterfalls and rainbows, folding sandstone and swirling clouds.

At the 4.5-mile mark, we reached Keystone Falls where a 6-foot rappel is required to descend into a thigh-deep pool.Tony and Jeff made a smooth descent without a rappel.I was next.I peeked over the edge and slowly eased down the rocks until I found myself perched on the notches of a log that leaned up against the falls.From there, I didn’t know what path to take.I could stay frozen like a grump on a log, I could jump, or I could wrap my arms and legs around the log and shimmy down.

I decided upon the latter option–or at least tried to.Not even one second after grabbing the log, I slipped and pummeled down its slivery surface. Tony looked at me and said, “Uh yeah, that’s one way to do it.”Ray W. judiciously looped his rope around the runner bolted to the right side of the canyon and Renée, Stephanie, Debbie and Julie gracefully descended.I consoled myself.I may not have scored points on my flawless entry but I made up for it on my level of difficulty…or idiocy.Mental note for next time:when a log is under a waterfall, it is very, very slick.

The rest of the hike is a blur, but what remains lucid is that I have never had so much fun in a slot canyon. We bouldered across the myriad of shapes and patterns in the sandstone and swam under chockstone boulders that were jammed midair above a watery labyrinth.We passed through intricate galleries of whorled stone and frigid channels, ventured onto roofed ledges to avoid impassable drop-offs and slid down picturesque cascades.

When we emerged from the Subway, we waded through the shining ribbon of water that curved around sandbars and between walls that rose in tiers like the layers of a wedding cake.We stopped often the final few miles and examined plants and rocks, and watched jet-propelled lizards scurry out of our way.The afternoon light was penetrating and incisive, and the air was particularly still and dry, allowing us to see astonishing details in the landscape at preposterous distances downstream.

The trail out of the canyon is easy to miss so we followed our guidebook and looked for two tributary streams that entered on the right.Just beyond the second stream (approximately 8.3 miles), we spotted prominent black lava outcropping high above us on the right rim of the canyon, and soon thereafter, we found the trail that lead to the summit.The final ascent was a grunt—the trail shot straight up shallow gully, finally reaching a plateau.Once at the rim, I thought I was home free but was dismayed when I realized I had to trudge another 0.8 miles through the scrub brush on the plateau.

The final stop on this Subway was my Jeep. Exhausted yet exultant, I marveled in the final parting views of the ragged cliffs that were spread like tattered draperies to the south, and at the bald crimson summit of Tabernacle Dome–mere highlights in a landscape where the spectacular is commonplace and every curve is an adventure.

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Celebrating back-to-school “Me” day in Utah

It may come as a shock to anyone who knows me but I really, really like to be alone.

I also like to socialize, as my third grade teacher divulged on my report card when she said I had “verbal diarrhea.”

Though I truly love exploring with my children, the toughest adjustment to motherhood for me was lack of alone time. When I was single, I frequently traveled, hiked, biked and played by myself.

Since having kids, alone time is practically non-existent, especially during the summer.

Today marks the beginning of what I call freedom.

Others call it back-to-school.

For three glorious hours a day, four days a week, I will have a sliver of time to work, play and recharge before delving into our wonderfully frenzied life all over again.

A few weeks ago, my children and I traveled in a snazzy (and sadly, loaner) Lincoln MKT to Utah to visit beloved Grandma and Grandpa who unceremoniously abandoned us to move to Utah.

Truly, I have gotten over my bitterness.

Over the course of 10 days, we we visited The Museum of Ancient Life at Thanksgiving Point, which boasts the world’s largest display of mounted dinosaurs. We soared down the zipline, alpine coaster and slide at Park City Mountain Resort’s second-to-none base area, whisked above the treetops on the ferris wheel at Liberty Park, splashed at the family’s cabin at Scofield Reservoir State Park and hiked favorite haunts above Red Butte Gardens.

But admist the flurry of fun, I desperately longed for some alone time and my generous mother-in-law gave me just that when she offered to watch my kids.

Actually, I kinda begged her. Must have been my puppy-dog eyes and bulging I-need-a-break-NOW vein in my forehead.

The great thing about having a solo day on vacation is you are not tempted or guilted into staying home and tackling drugeries like cleaning.

Not that I ever do that anyway.

So, just how did I spent my glorious day?

*In-line skating the Bonneville Shoreline Trail up Provo Canyon to Bridal Veil Falls. When I lived in Utah, this was my Happy Place. It doesn’t take much imagination to figure out why.

*Driving the Alpine Loop Scenic Byway. This 20-mile drive winds through aspen groves and rugged alpine canyons of the Wasatch Mountains, passing Robert Redford’s famed resort, Sundance and the commanding 11,749-foot Mount Timpanogos.

*Buying darling clothes from Utah-based Down East Basics and inhaling a Pinata Colada Salad at Cafe Zupos. If either store were to grace Colorado with their presence, I would single-handedly keep them in business.

I finished off my day by visiting my friend Kristy who just had a darling baby girl. I stopped by Les Madeleines Patisserie and Café to buy us their signature indulgence: the Kouing-aman. This rich buttery pastry from Brittany is so addictive you’d swear it is “crack.”

Though it’s a heckuvalot more calories.

I like to think it’s this mama’s new version of bon bons.

Until later notice….

I am digging myself out of a frenzy of doctor’s appointments, work meetings, birthday parties, testing and back-to-school shopping.

And yes, I procrastinated it all until the very last week before school started.

After seeing our whirlwind summer, would you expect anything less?

I still have many vacation tales to share but for now, my thoughts return to our family vacation at Scofield Reservoir in Utah that included a lot of this….

With him.

Her.
Them.

And this motley crew.
Comments still closed due to Asian spammers. And yep, it’s on my procrastinated to-do list.

Liberty Park’s Fun in the Sun (but NOT Seven Canyons)

I have a long history with Liberty Park.

When I first moved to Salt Lake City after college in the fall of 1997, this second-largest urban park was only a few blocks from my condo. I spent innumerable hours strolling the 80 acres of paths, gardens, and aviary and sitting by the pond.

In an attempt to impress a boy, I took up running there after a four-year sabbatical.

I nearly passed out after jogging only a few hundred feet.

I didn’t say all my memories were good.

But last week, Haddie, Bode and I built some fantastic ones as we had a picnic with Jamie’s mom, sister Tammy and my edible twin nieces.

See? I told you: YUMMY.

We drove our stylin’ Lincoln MKT and grabbed a pina colada salad, Hawaiian BBQ chicken panini and mango-berry salad from new-to-me Cafe Zupas while the kids ate homemade peanut butter sandwiches.

I couldn’t waste such gastronome grandeur on their wavering taste buds.

Liberty Park has a few different play areas and we started with the all-access playground and splash park that was perfect for a warm summer day. The kids raced through the water, climbed the tree house, sifted through the sand, danced to the musical instruments and played on the playground.

Next, we hit the small amusement park and the kids begged me to ride The Wheel of Death. Here’s a secret confession: I’d rather ride a thousand suicidal roller-coasters before I’d enjoy doing a Ferris wheel. But see those darling faces?

Most days I have no problem saying “no.” That day was the exception. And I’m so glad I relented because the ride on the weather Ferris wheel was exhilarating. The area was ensconced by trees whose leaves were almost close enough to touch as we swooped forward, causing the kids to grab and squeal with glee.

As a total bonus, I didn’t even throw up.

But our most highly anticipated Liberty Park activity was Seven Canyons. I’ve been to plenty of water parks but this one is different. Patterned after the valley’s seven canyons, this feature has seven man-man streams flowing around secret nooks, trees, stairs and rocks.

I had heard it was closed for the season due to an oil spill but was delighted to discover the sign that claimed it would be opening at 3 p.m. that day. And so we grabbed some snow cones and waited.

And waited some more.

When 3 p.m. rolled around, there was Nada. An inquisitive mom went to the concession stand to ask and as it turns out, Seven Canyons was closed due to some destructive lightning.

Struck by a bolt of electricity around the exact time I would be there? What’re the odds that would happen to me?

On second thought, don’t answer that question.