Jamie is obsessed with getting a HDTV. So obsessed that he is the first to run to the get the paper on Sunday (go Jamie, here boy!) to checkout the latest ads.

He recently reconfigured our budget so we could buy one.

“What do you think of this?” he queried, showing me an ad.

“It’s nice but expensive.”

“As part of the deal, Netflix has a special offer of $5 a month.”

“When do we ever have time to watch movies?”

“Oh, this will give us time.”

“How will getting a HDTV make more time for us? Besides, statistics show that people who have a TV in their bedroom have significantly less less sex than those who don’t.” (Gotta hit him where it hurts.)

“But not if we institute NAKED MOVIE NIGHT!”

Gee, why didn’t I think of that?

I somehow survived the big BBQ. Well, except for the lovely hiccups of realizing the huge thermoses I rented from McDonald’s didn’t have a little thing called a spout. Or when the other gal in charge forgot to bring minor things like utensils and napkins. Who needs manners anyway?

Despite the behind-the-scenes chaos, everything went well. We had food, fun, softball, volleyball and races. Oh, did we race. The true capture of the evening was this gem: competition-obsessed Jamie entering Bode in his first three-legged race. (Click picture for full effect.)

They won.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

I couldn’t resist posting my niece Ashton’s graduation announcement. That same niece who is generally bright, hilarious, spirited and who can kick my sorry butt on a wakeboard any day.

It is not so much that she misspelled my Alma Mater, Lord Beaverbrook, but rather the utter massacre of the word that follows: school. You know–that thing she just spent 12 YEARS ATTENDING.

P.S. I have no intention of being mean-spirited here. Because I’m sure NO ONE has ever had a typo in our entire lives. OUCH!

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

What a fantastic weekend we are having! The weather has been superb (translation: not too hot, though 85 degrees did get a little toasty for this Canuck).

We went for walks, played soccer, tackled the playground, raced through sprinklers, trekked a beloved hike at Chatauqua Park and ate at my favorite restaurant for outdoor dining located just adjacent. See those people right on the edge of the balcony? That was us reeling the Hurricane in as she attempted to dive-bomb food to unsuspecting pedestrians. Never a dull moment, I tell ya!

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Then there is Bode. The boy is starting to walk and took a record-breaking 18 steps the other day. And after months of wondering if the kid would have to wear false teeth for the rest of his life, #3 and #4 are finally coming in. And oh, how the boy didst teethe.

This is a first for my “Mom Blog” to wax epicureous but we have been eating well lately. Really well. I was getting bored with our standard sustenance so have been experimenting with some healthy dishes. I came across two kick-butt recipes: Grilled Chicken with Tomato Tarragon Sauce (though we used fresh basil instead) and a copycat recipe for P.F. Chang’s famous lettuce wraps.

Would it reflect badly upon me to admit I had tears in my eyes as I didst eat? I still get choked up just thinking about it. Get it? Choked….

I’m throwing another big bash on Saturday complete with a BBQ, softball, volleyball and races for the kids. I figured it would be a brilliant idea to combine with another ward; the more the merrier, right? OK, truth be told, the other ward’s Activity Leader is really on the ball so I figured I would coast through this event and leech off her committee. After all I have been through, am I not deserving?

All was going well until my former go-getter had a nervous breakdown regarding some family issues. This has resulted in her release from that position and a completely clueless replacement.

And so here I stand in the same #$&*#$ boat as before: with very little help and a huge party to throw. But this is much better. Because evidently throwing a party for 300 people is soooooo much more rewarding than a mere 150.

Update: I just had a meeting with Said Clueless Replacement and slyly assigned her the nightmare task of buying all the food and overseeing food distribution. Meanwhile I, The Party Princess, shall manage the entertainment/games. Maybe there are some advantages to working with clueless people.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

I still don’t know who to blame. Was it Vonage? Comcast? Regardless, our Internet and phone lines were down for EIGHT hours today. In the interim, I cleaned the house, prepped for dinner guests, went for a run, organized the eyesore-that-is-our-den, and washed, folded and put away five loads of laundry.

I am still recovering from the trauma of such productivity.

I don’t know why this irked me but it did. I took the kids for a run along a great trail with loads of verdant foliage and a swollen river. Part of their reward for being good in the stroller is to stop at the playground and have a grand ol’ time throwing rocks in the water.

We were alone when we arrived. I opted against setting up our picnic on one of the many surrounding benches and went for the table adjacent to the playground. I then set the kids loose.

Within a few minutes, a mom came with her two kids. I heard her loudly debate where they were going to eat and I waited for her to choose one of the benches. She didn’t. She headed straight towards where I had setup camp and plopped her troops down.

Now, I would not have minded sharing the table if she had just asked and hadn’t treated all our stuff with such disregard. But she didn’t. I wasn’t sure how to react. I really didn’t want to share space with her unruly clan so nonchalantly moved my stuff over to one of the benches. She said nothing.

I thought of a thousand things I could have said but none of them would have come out just right. But then I remembered the fine example of my dad’s former boss, Shawn.

A bit of background: my dad worked as an oil and gas engineer for Chevron for 30 years before moving over to a local Indian reservation for another 10. Shawn was an interesting character who fit many stereotypes but also had a free spirit, sense of entitlement and humor. We all adored him for his humor.

One day, Shawn was picnicking with his family at a public pavilion in Calgary. Time passed and an Asian family arrived. The father informed Shawn they had reserved the pavilion for his daughter’s party and kindly asked if they would leave.

Shawn refused.

They went back and forth arguing the issue until Shawn unveiled the clincher: “MY PEOPLE WERE HERE BEFORE YOUR PEOPLE!!!”

They let him stay.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

As we recently snuggled in bed, Jamie read some instructions for installing an attic fan and I was passed out counting the number of paint screw-ups on the ceiling. Suddenly, Bode grabbed some of Jamie’s paperwork and my child prodigy starting making drool-covered origami.

I looked down and turns out the little guy is bilingual, too; it was the Spanish version.

“I hope that wasn’t important.” Jamie was annoyed.

“It isn’t.”

“How do you know that?”

“It says it right here: Nota Importante.”

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Love is:

Having a dream that your husband decided to become a woman so you decided to become a man, just so you could still be together.

Even though he was a butt-ugly female.

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Despite the fact that the kids are sleeping much better these days, Jamie and I are not. The other night, Jamie was restless and during my deep slumber, he gave me a backrub.

I commented the next day, “That was nice you gave me a backrub.”

“Actually, I gave you three.”

“I think I even reciprocated.”

“Actually, you only gave me two backrubs.”

“Oh really?”

“It wasn’t like I was keeping score. Even though you do owe me one.”

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

With five parties (two of which we threw), the construction-zone-that-was-our-yard, church, work and life, I am finally coming up for air. Which is really saying something because I hate to get my face wet.

Haddie’s birthday was fantastic. Well, mostly. She requested a McDonald’s breakfast so I loaded the kids up in the Chariot stroller and decided to make a run for it. Calories burned: 300. Calories consumed: 3,000. Oh yeeeeeeeah.

And then she got stuck in Playland in an area she has scaled 100 times. I’m not sure if she had deviously planned it (because what kid wouldn’t want to make that their home?) but my vow to let her do what she wanted on her birthday ended then and there. Emphatically. Eventually another empathetic mom climbed up to get her just before I signed over guardianship to Ronald.

Later that morning, Haddie hooked up with her bestest friends, Noland and Rowan (pictured with Mom Tina) for a picnic at a cool park complete with a playground, volleyball courts, a fountain, river, pond and a sweet kayak park.

And some public nudity. Because that is what she does with her friends.

And then there was Casa Bonita. I’m pretty shocked with how many of you across the nation commented you have been there. We decided to skip the 50-person blowout bash like we did last year and just celebrated with Jamie’s family. Since it was mostly adults, I brought in our own cake and party supplies. I’m sure the staff loves cheapskates like me but I just didn’t think Uncle Chris would enjoy wearing their pirate patches and birthday hats.

Predictably, Haddie had a blast, got loads of presents and stuffed her face with Casa Bonita’s infamously bad food. I unveiled her Dora cake and we had our fellow diners join in and belt out Happy Birthday.

Moments later, one of the staff members announced they wanted everyone to sing for a kid who had a Bonita-sanctioned birthday. Admittedly, I reveled we had stolen the thunder.

Because I am competitive like that.

Evidently, so was Bode during his first cake-eating contest.

After dinner, I hauled all the presents out to the car while everyone else delved into the numerous activities. As I limped back, I noticed the hoards of people taking pictures in front of the fountain outside. Inwardly, I mocked them for commemorating the ultimate in tackiness.

Until Jamie’s sister Lisa suggested the same thing.

Evidently I am hypocritical like that.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

Memorial Day means different things to different people. Some, like us, will celebrate life and have a BBQ with family and friends. Others will memorialize death and visit grave sites.

My sweet dad was recently diagnosed with cancer and goes in for surgery tomorrow. It seems everyone knows someone, somewhere who is living with its ravages. Many of you know that Jamie is a survivor.

On this day, I would ask you to put in a special thought or prayer for Papa Canuck and anyone you know who is suffering. And for all those fine men and women who are serving this country… and their families who are often caught in the crossfire.

Just take a moment to remember.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog