On Starting Them Young with Their Christmas V-O-C-A-B-U-L-A-R-Y

A friend dropped off a plate of Christmas treats just as we were on the way out the door to do the same for someone else. I looked at their glorious selection and grabbed some to add to our plate.

“What are you doing, Mommy?”

“This is called regifting. Can you say R-E-G-I-F-T-I-N-G, Hadley?”

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On Christmas Mailings

I always look forward to our annual flood of Christmas newsletters and cards. And every year, I gain immeasurable pleasure from reading them. And laughing at them.

Last year, I received a newsletter from my friend Angie (who, like me, married a bit later in life). She gloated over their childless state and attested “so the peace and quiet will just have to continue.”

This year? Her retribution was twins. [Insert evil cackle here.]

I can always count on my Great Uncle Peter for an entertaining letter. I have never met the crotchety old bachelor. But it must say something about me because I delight in our correspondence.

After ranting about my own newsletter, marveling how Jamie and I like climbing around our “rockpiles” (which evidently means “mountains” in crotchety man speak), he divulged the thousands of dollars he has given to his nephews – one who is in medical school and the other a farmer. He could have taken the highroad about his generosity but instead attested he only did this because “giving all my money away will deprive the Canadian government of taxes when I leave this earth.” What a giver.

But my favorite part of his letter was the ending:

“This pretty well covers everything. Each day I feed my winter
friends who are too stupid to go south for the winter but hang around the bird feeder. I also kill off any squirrels who try to find holes to get up into the attic. So far I killed four last year and this year, I killed one. One got away from the trap but left his claws. He will have difficulty in climbing trees.

Best wishes for a nice holiday.”

Also known in crochety man speak as Bah Humbug.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

Do you buy a Christmas gift for your child’s teacher?

I bought something for Haddie’s preschool teachers. Nothing fancy, just some gingerbread and eggnog fudge and fun cookie mix cutouts from Super Target. But then I got to wondering if other people do the same and if not, will I be one big brown noser.

What I am saying is should I just eat the fudge and call it good?

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

We built our house 3.5 years ago. Besides the basement, the only room that has not been finished is our bedroom. To be honest, it really hasn’t bothered me.

Until recently.

And suddenly, those bare, blazing white walls remind me of a psych ward isolation room.

I am not speaking from experience, of course.

Instead of paying a lot of money for shipping presents this year, my parents sent us a generous chunk of money for Christmas. After some deliberation, we bought the kids a few gifts and decided to put the money towards finally painting and decorating our bedroom.

Our plan was to start after the holiday until Bode threw up all over our current dry-clean-only comforter last week. This sped up Project Bedroom Makeover. Either that or spend the next few weeks sniffing his regurgitated pasta dinner.

On Saturday, we hit a variety of stores and finally found our duvet de choix. The issue with buying a new duvet is you also get sucked into purchasing all the goodies that go with it. Another problem is our recent stay at the luxurious Broadmoor led us to believe our bed needed to feel like their million-dollar one.

We eventually walked outta there with arms piled high and hundreds of dollars poorer (I plan to fully bill the Broadmoor). Our purchases? A duvet, pillow top mattress pad, shams, curtains, rod and pillows.

Oh, and licorice. Just because we were hungry.

Upon arriving home, Jamie was eager to make the bed even though we still need to paint the walls. When it came time for the icing on the cake – the duvet – we realized our down comforter insert was in storage somewhere. I spent the next hour in the dungeon of despair, only to discover it stashed away in a bin. I threw it in the washing machine and walked upstairs.

The bed was fully made…and fluffy.

“I’ll bet your are wondering where I got the comforter to stick inside the new duvet, don’t you?”

“Errr…yes.”

[Proudly] “I just used our old one!”

“You mean the one that is covered in Bode’s puke that infiltrates everything it touches?”

“Yep, that’s the one!”

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

santa picI have discovered what is perhaps the most innovative, brilliant and gloriously manipulative Santa tool EVER.

Let’s face it – those mall Santas are clueless with their fake beard and padded stomach. They don’t know who your child is or care what they want for Christmas.

Enter MakeBeliever.com.

It is a highly personalized Flash video from a live Santa that you create for the recipient of your choice, delivered by email. Recipients like…say…for your children. Children who just may have been nice or who may need a little “naughty” nudge in the right direction. Like in the direction towards a potty.

Before you judge me, the doctor told me to do it. For “potty underachievers,” he recommended we dangle an incentive as motivation. We have done a year’s worth of hangings: from toys to treats to television. Nothing has worked. Santa is our last hope.

I realize the intention behind MakeBeliever’s fun greetings is not to manipulate the recipient. But not to be forgotten is my Christmas wish for ol’ St. Nick: a diaper-free holiday.

As Hadley viewed the video, she was mesmerized when Santa checked off her favorite things: her birthday, her favorite color and animal. He even knew she wanted a little computer for Christmas and commended her for being nice to her brother.

But then came the [optional] “naughty list” and the mention of her potty habits. Or lack thereof. She gritted her teeth and said, “Uh oh.” But never once did she back down from the challenge of The Man in Red.

She viewed it 13 times before we finally dragged her away. I am hopeful that 13 times is enough for osmosis to set in.

And for both of our Christmas wishes to come true.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

People often wonder why a stay-at-home mom cannot piece together two coherent sentences.

After Monday, I know why.

The Hurricane has occasionally had an attitude lately, specifically a bad one. I often struggle with disciplining her as I attempt to mold but not shatter her free spirit. One of the most challenging aspects of her personality is she has always been headstrong and stubborn. And lately her resistance to potty train has translated into different areas of her life. “You want me to get dressed? Too bad. And brush my hair? Don’t you know dreadlocks are ‘in’ at preschool?”

Case #1
On Monday, our power struggles reached a head after two hours of coaxing her to get dressed. I did not have any pressing errands so I decided this would be my day to teach her who was boss. Or to confirm just how subservient I am.

I finally stuck her in time-out with her clothes and told her she could not come out until she was dressed. There was kicking. There was screaming. There were notations taken for Santa’s naughty list. And despite the fact that she professed to be starving, she refused to budge even when I promised I would give her a sampling of her favorite smoothie after she got dressed.

And then Bode and I proceeded to drink some of it in front of her. Because he made me do it.

After 88.5 minutes, she finally relented. For those unfamiliar with P.D.T. (Preschooler Deviance Time), this is actually equal to 3 hours and 10 hours in T.P.T. (Traumatized Parent Time). If I had not been so frazzled, I would have been impressed with her dedication.

Case #2
Hadley then begged me for some lunch so I made some Mac ‘n Cheese and snuck in some pureed butternut squash. All was going fine until she discovered “The funny-shaped noodles” and then the meltdowns ensued as she accused me of poisoning her with goodness. Note to self: ensure there are no chunks of goodness in the puree next time.

Case #3
After lunch, we were all stir-crazy so decided we would bundle up and go play in the snow. Hadley’s hair was disheveled and uncombed (you know: the dread look) so I swooped it up in a ponytail. And then the waterworks were unleashed, “I DON’T WANT A SIDE PONYTAIL. TAKE. IT. OUT!!”

Bode and I left her inside until she got a grip.

During that final tantrum, I had recollections of my pediatrician when I took her in for her 3-month check-up. “She’s a fussy, colicky baby, isn’t she?” he queried. She was extremely calm at the time so I figured it must have been the veins bulging from my head that gave it away.

Before I could give my confirmation, he continued, “Do you know how I know? She has abs of steel from all the crying. She may be a difficult child now but it will all payoff someday in the boardroom.”

If she survives that long to make it there.

HALLLLP! Does anyone have any advice for surviving the Terrible 3s?

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

Wanted: your favorite holiday recipes for possible publication in The Denver Post!

I am not officially launching this until tomorrow on Mile High Mamas but thought I would give you the head’s up. I would love to hear about (and hopefully make) your favorite holiday recipes. Because my life’s mantra is: “Dear Lord, if you cannot make me skinny, please make all my friends fat.” Let’s share the love.

The newspaper’s food editor is judging the contest and will choose several recipes to be included in the newspaper (complete with a picture of you or the food). I also have a fantastic prize package I will include on MHM tomorrow that includes a designer apron from Domestic Darlings, fun bamboo kids utensils from Branch and the new cookbook, Deceptively Delicious.

Simply go to http://www.milehighmamas.com, click on “Holiday Recipes” under the mama-to-mama forum, briefly register (click “sign up”) and add your favorite recipe. I included my favorites that include gingerbread pancakes with fresh apple marmalade, shortcut almond roca and sugar and spice cookies.

If it is not an original creation, please provide the correct attribution. Because isn’t it about time that Grandma Jean got some recognition for her famous eggnog pie? (Editor’s note: if someone does have Said Recipe, I WANT IT.)

So get in early and let us know all about your favorite traditional or non-traditional holiday food!!!

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

“I am just calling to tell you I am going to be deceptive tonight.”

“Deceptive? How?”

“Deceptively Delicious, to be exact.”

“What?”

“I am using my new cookbook by Jessica Seinfeld tonight. You know, the one that sneaks pureed vegetables into the recipes.”

“OK, sounds good. No wait.”

“What’s wrong, Jamie?”

“I AM NOT GOING TO EAT BROCCOLI AND ACTUALLY LIKE IT, AM I?”

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

“Did you hear that some advocacy group is trying to change Santa and make him lose weight? You know, to set a good example for the children.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Pretty ridiculous, huh?”

“Think of all the chub songs about him like how he is a “jolly, happy soul.”

“Err…actually that song is about Frosty.”

“Close enough.”

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

Amber: I adore this Christmas tree skirt my mom gave me. I love that a nativity scene is under the tree.

Jamie: Yep. And [greedily] we are going to cover it up with all our sins.

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We stayed with some friends in Colorado Springs last weekend. As we were shivering in the early-morning temperatures, Jamie asked me:

“Amber, can you go out to the car to get something for me?”

I looked over at him. He was wearing the exact same thing as me.

“We are dressed identically, Jamie. Why don’t you go do it?”

“Because I don’t want my feet to get cold.”

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A special thanks to my dear Lizzie for giving me a coveted “Perfect Post” award. Who’d have thunk?

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

This picture was taken after he tripped on the mat and clipped the balance beam. (He said he is glad it is not among the men’s events.)

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Bode and Daddy went to a hockey game on Friday night (he fit right in) while it was a Girl’s Night Out to The Nutcracker with my little sugarplum.

Come on over to Mile High Mamas to read all about it. Oh, and to download your favorite holiday picture of your little elves!

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog