So, it’s ummm…err..uhhh…snowing here. You know. In May. If I had signed up for this kind of crap, I’d be back in the Motherland with my frozen nose hairs!

I am week five into my boot camp/weight loss journey. And week five is always a toughie for me. Why? I have never made it beyond that.

Did I do it this week? Well, maybe if that blasted Chuck E. Cheese hadn’t made his appearance.

For all the sordid details (and haaaaalp!), checkout Mile High Mamas on Friday!

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This week was a tough one for me. It wasn’t because I had to work the entire weekend at The Colorado Women’s Expo. My efforts were actually commendable – I packed all my food and did not cheat even once.

I even resisted the treats I had at my booth. Before you congratulate me on this exhorbant display of will power, I must confess that I stocked it with food that I hate.

Because I have that much faith in my ability to resist temptation.

In the Boot Camp Biggest Loser Club on Wednesday, I had an epiphany of why my week was so tough: I just passed the one-month mark and for whatever reason or another, I blow every diet I have ever been on at this time.

Well, most are blown loooong before that but rest assured if I make it to five weeks, I start “rewarding” myself for job well done. Only instead of a pat on the back, I start consuming foods that will pad my butt.

But without further ado, my weekly weigh loss was 2 pounds. My five-week total weight loss is 13 pounds with a loss of 4% body fat since I began.

To look at the numbers, I know I am on track with where I need to be and I need to stop beating myself up every time I stray. As Life Coach Robyn says, “You made your choice. There is no reason to be consumed by guilt about it. Just make the adjustments you need and keep going.”

And she’s right. I was trucking along just fine last week until I went to a party at every parent’s hell kid’s paradise: Mr. Chuck E. Cheese. I started strong, really I did. I went out of my way to order the salad bar. But then all those gloriously greasy pizzas’ delicious scent kept wafting toward me like the forbidden fruit.

And I did partake.

I blame the serpent mouse.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

I [barely] survived the Colorado Women’s Expo and have been limping around from pure exhaustion ever since. Waking up at 5 a.m. the next morning didn’t help much either. Nor the fact that I will be dragging this sorry body all over the mountains today trying to find a venue for my Outpost backpacking trip in June.

Anyhew, some highlights and lowlights of the Expo:

High: Meeting oodles of fantastic women including the wonderful Diana from Sunshine on my Shoulders and giving away tons of swag thanks to Mile High Mamas’ new partnership with Universal Pictures and Sony Films.

Low: Jamie telling me I am never allowed to do another Expo again due to alleged moodiness in the planning stages. This may be in reference to my breakdown the first morning of the show when he suggested I change to more comfortable shoes, only to have me change into another pair of uncomfortable shoes and then to freak out THAT I HAD NOTHING COMFORTABLE TO WEAR!

The man overreacts, I swear.

High: Really fun fellow exhibitors that included one of my favorite new products, My Side of the Bed Sheets. A cool couple invented these sheets that are designed to combat bed hogs because “these sheets are less expensive than therapy and more comfortable than a night on the couch!”

And their killer tagline? Because sometimes you just don’t want to cuddle.

Low: Working a 12-hour day on Saturday, only to suffer through the last few hours of having NO ONE attend the Expo. Except for those two creepy guys who kept coming around to visit my booth. At least they could have spoken English and kept me entertained.

High and Low: Having the booth swarming with women as a sweet gal was trying to pitch me her at-home business. Another gal overheard and ecstatically said, “I run a business out of my home. Let’s exchange cards and see if we can work something out with being featured on Mile High Mamas.”

The first gal had a cute bubble goddess company.

The second woman throws passion parties. You know, the perfect fit for my PG-rated, family-friendly blog.

Then again, they are called sex toys.

High: Having a sweet, supportive husband and coming home to a clean house, happy children and dinner on the table.

Low: I just hope he doesn’t expect me to reciprocate….

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

Any questions?

Come find out at Mile High Mamas on Friday if I miraculously lost any weight with my Said Tempters in town. And tell me what your foodie weaknesses are!! After last weekend, I need all the help I can get.

P.S. Regular posting continues next week after the Expo. Should I survive it…..

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One of the things I love most about Front Range Adventure Boot Camp is the cohesive community of women – a kind of bonding that can only be achieved through mutual suffering success.

The same could be said about The Boot Camp Biggest Loser Club, though it is more about sharing. And disdain for The Scale. Prior to attending my first meeting, I pictured a giant-sized one with everyone standing around gawking. Fortunately, weigh-ins are much more discreet but for the first time this week, The Scale was not Foe but Friend.

After we finished weighing in, Life Coach Robyn called out, “There is a problem with the accuracy of the weight on the scale today.”

Silence.

Finally, a brave person queried, “Errr…is the weight more or less?”

“It is adding three pounds to everyone’s weight.”

C-E-L-E-B-R-A-T-I-O-N TIME.

So without further ado, my weekly weigh loss is 2 pounds. That makes my four-week total weight loss 11 pounds! This is before the three pounds Robyn told us to subtract but I figure I will wait to make the adjustment until she recalibrates the scale next week. After all, I have always wanted one of those 10-pound weight loss weeks like on the show.

This was by far my most challenging week with a visit from my Canadian dad and aunt. Usually, I have a controlled environment with only healthy food but they brought in the very evils and spoils of society that included chips, dips, pies, brownies, and my biggest weakness – cookies.

It was my first real test to put all the lessons and soul-searching I have done at boot camp into practice. My goal was to not only survive but to thrive. One thing Robyn advocates is to not completely deprive yourself of things you love, otherwise you obsess about it and overindulge. It is about learning moderation.

And moderation I had. Well, except for my brownie indulgence. The sad thing is am not even a huge fan of chocolate.

At least I could have splurged on a cookie….

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

I am still in the throes of booth planning and I will not bore you with all the sordid details. Because make no mistake: the details are many and each and every one of them is sordid. I would go into retirement after this experience if I didn’t have a slew of Mother’s Day promotions ahead of me. Maybe I’ll declare my break right before Father’s Day. Convenient, non?

Hurricane Hadley gave her first talk in Primary on Sunday. She is in the Sunbeam class – the youngest – and generally expectations are very low for their “performances.” With the exception of The Hurricane.

The Primary President asked a shy little girl to give the opening prayer and she ended up bailing due to stage fright. With her arm casually flung across the back of her chair, Hadley turned to her friend Jack (whose uncommunicative nature has his mother jokingly calling him her little Neanderthal).

“You know, Jacky? Some people are scared to get up there.”
Blank stare and then a grunt of acknowledgement.
“BUT NOT MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

And she was true to form when it was her turn to give her talk. Jamie was there merely to assist as she brazenly grabbed the microphone, proudly held her pictures high and expounded the greatest doctrines of any 3 year old in the history of the world. I should know. I wrote the talk.

Her unabashed nature and conversation with Jack made me think back upon the good ol’ days when we went to Mother Goose Story Time at the library. She was the most animated baby and would always lead the group as they did the actions to the nursery rhymes.

Unless they made the mistake of not participating, during which time Hadley would stop what she was doing to waddle over there and physically force them to do the actions.

Because they were obviously too stupid to figure it out for themselves….

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

Amber: Planning this booth at the Expo will be the death of me. Did you know that blah blah blah….

Jamie: Jim called today and is really pleased with my work. He extended me an official offer for a full-time consulting job with benefits.

Amber: And another problem I am having is blah blah blah blah….

Jamie: Did you hear me? I just landed a fantastic gig for the next few months that will likely lead into an awesome position!

Amber: That’s nice but WHAT THE CRAP AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS BOOTH??!

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

This is me waving the white flag. Or rather, several white flags in the battleground-that-was-our-house last weekend. Do you see our glorious new duvet and pillow top mattress pad hanging to dry? The Hurricane puked on every single one of them.

Yep, it was one of those weekends and thankfully her stomach flu is on the mend. Do you know the phrase “When it rains, it pours?” I am in the midst of a Hurricane these days. Well, it happens everyday if you count the one I gave birth to.

My stress list:

*I have major deadlines for pulling together a Mile High Mamas booth for the Colorado Women’s Expo next weekend. As in it is 11 days away and ask me if I have even started designing the booth or even know how to do it? Well, don’t ask because my head would assuredly explode.

*I am being hammered with coordinating tons of giveaways for Mother’s Day and the Expo.

*My dad and aunt are coming into town this weekend and our house is a puke-infested, duvet-draped disaster.

*My neighbor is having a huge garage sale next weekend and I want to dump half my household items on her. So, I am at Ground Zero with the worst spring cleaning/house gutting imaginable. Or at least I should be!

*The venue I had carefully scouted last fall for the girl’s camp backpacking trip I am in charge of is no more due to pine beetle infestations. So sometime in the next few weeks, I need to go to the mountains to determine a new backcountry area that will house 20 girls. And their blubbering leader. Then train these girls who have never put a backpack on in their lives that CARRYING 30 POUNDS, EATING RAMEN NOODLES AND SLEEPING ON THE COLD, HARD GROUND? THIS IS FUN!! P.S. Think they’ll like me?

*I just caught wind of another contest that I just won’t be able to adequately promote so this is where you can help me diffuse some stress! The Denver Post’s food editor just announced that we are having a contest for moms everywhere to post your family’s favorite dinner recipe at Mile High Mamas. We will choose the top three recipes and publish them – along with a picture of your family – in the May 7th Food section of the newspaper. In addition to fame and fortune, well, mostly just fame, the winners will receive a cookbook.

So, got any great recipes you can contribute? Got a shotgun I can borrow? It’s all appreciated just the same these days…

XOXOXO

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

The other day, the children and I were walking into Office Max to get some fliers printed for Mile High Mamas. Or was it Office Depot? I am continually getting the two mixed up and went so far as to go to the wrong store last week. I blame my mistake on their close proximity to each other and their inability to have an original thought that does not include the world “office.”

Nevermind my blonde hair.

Anyway, we were on the sidewalk of one of the Offices when an SUV of two cute old ladies pulled up.

“Excuse me, dearie!” they beckoned.
Figuring they must need directions, we sauntered over there. “Yes?”
“How old is your daughter?” they asked, pointing to Hadley.
“Almost four.”

I saw them rustling ecstatically around in the car. They then produced two brand-new stuffed toys and shoved them my way. They smiled sweetly and I ascertained they were were the Givin’ Grandmas and drove around trying to help the less fortunate. Until the woman in the passenger seat offered,

“Mildred has been trying to get rid of these for ages!”
Confused, I gave them a blank stare.
“She wins them at the slots, you know. And just doesn’t have any grandkids she can pawn them off on.”

Or more like Gambling Grandmas.

I stifled a laugh, thanked them graciously and then tried to ditch them at the adjacent pet store. You know, one of those big chains that is original enough to have “Pet” in the name. They would have nothing to do with them, which is when I really started analyzing our gifts and made the horrible realization:

Which can also be used as voodoo dolls.

And disturbingly enough, some recently-acquired dolls are carbon copies of their owners.

Frighteningly enough, they even got the “Where the Wild Things Are” tag correct. Did I mention my childhood nickname was “Animal?”….

So, what kind of doll are you!!?

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog

I was just cruising through my latest blog entries and realized there has been a noticeable drop in my regularity lately. On posting, that is (lest you think I am discussing my bathroom habits again).

There are a number of reasons for this:

1) I have been working on some new projects at Mile High Mamas and have been slammed with Mother’s Day preps and giveaways.

2) It has been Spring Break and I have had to deal with a Hurricane on a full-time basis.

3) You seem to be posting less as well. Is it just me or do you write less when you have fewer comments? Just curious.

4) (And most importantly) My monitor is really dirty so I have been unable to vainly gaze back at myself as I type.

One of the new projects I have been working on is ME! Huhhhhhh? I enrolled a couple of weeks ago in a kick-butt outdoor adventure boot camp and am loving it. My original intention was to do just one post about it but soon became inspired by the whole experience. I have expressed frustrations here about how the rest of that Baby Weight is just not budging. Imagine my delight to discover I added muchos Fruitcake Weight over the holidays.

The crazy thing is I don’t even like fruitcake….

So, here’s the project (drum roll, please): I am going to lose weight through the boot camp’s Biggest Loser Club and write about my progress every week on Mile High Mamas. I have the newspaper’s backing and online and print reefers to publicize the whole thing.

Talk about accountability? Just a little!

So, I need your support, encouragement and advice. Come watch me or join on in. I need all the help I can get! Just don’t post all those delectably tempting recipes on your blogs.

Unless they involve lettuce.

For the start of the journey, tune into Mile High Mamas today!

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I have survived my first two weeks of boot camp. No, this maple-leaf-pledging Canuck did not join the American troops but I have ventured out on a new kind of workout and weight-loss program. The kind I hope will not only kick butt but will reduce my protruding one.

Do you know those women whose pounds just seem to magically melt away after giving birth? I am not among them. Following my first pregnancy, I lost most of the weight but after baby No. 2, it is still clinging to me like a blood-sucking leech. Too bad they don’t do fat.

I have participated in a number of great mommy and me exercise classes, most of which I highly recommend. But this time, I needed something different; I needed to focus only on myself to get back on track.

Enter: Front Range Adventure Boot Camp for Women. The program originated out of Orange County, CA and is a part of the largest fitness boot camp in the world. Well, daunting Canadian marine corps notwithstanding.

I was thrilled to begin my four-week outdoor fitness program, nutritional counseling and motivational training. As I was leaving for my first day of class, my husband called out,

“Have fun!”
“This is boot camp, Jamie. I am not supposed to have fun.”
“Well, don’t cry, then.”
“That’s better.”

And it is so much better than any workout I have ever done. Instead of being submitted to the drudgery of the stairmaster or weight machines, the program takes everyday objects and uses them as tools. We have done everything from hill training to park-playing to racing up a half-pipe to playing dodge ball. And I am having the time of my life with this cohesive group of women who are already making extracurricular plans to go backpacking and scale 14ers this summer.

Rest assured, it ain’t all fun and games. The first class was the longest hour of my life and the next day, I unearthed muscles I never knew I had. How did I discover them? Simple: I could not move them.

Robyn Morrisette is our lean, buff, butt-kicking machine. She is motivating but not annoying. Tough but fair. But overall, she is an inspiration. She left her longtime career in the corporate world to become a Certified Life Coach and now whips people’s butts into shape on a full-time basis. I feel a kinship to her because I did the same thing.

Only mine is called motherhood.

Join Amber on her journey – and butt whipping – over the next few months. Starting next Friday, Amber will be documenting her successes and setbacks every single week in Boot Camp’s Biggest Loser Club. Amber can also be found blogging about it at Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog