Giant pumpkin growing: the season that never ends

January 15, 2014 By

Lest you think pumpkin season is over, I’m here to tell you it’s never over. Last month, Jamie had a holiday party with his buddies from the Rocky Mountain Giant Vegetable Growers Group.

It’s not uncommon to see him sorting through his extensive pumpkin seed collection because he gets year-round seed requests from all over the world.

He recently had some packages from Amazon delivered. I didn’t bother to query about the first but when the second one arrived, I asked:

“What’s in the packages?”
“You should know better than to ask me that this time of year.”
“Oh really? I thought we weren’t getting each other gifts because we’re saving for Maui.”

Busted. He had purchased new grow lights and a seedling heat mat.

Nope, you can’t make this stuff up.

A curious phenomenon regularly occurs in our house: dishes go missing. It took me a while to realize what was going on and it started when my cookie sheets disappeared for a month. I don’t know about you but a month without baking cookies due to missing cookware is equal to grand larceny.

Where were they? I eventually discovered he had been using them to dry out his seeds in the storage room.

A few months ago, I had commented to him:

“I wonder what happened to all of our small dessert plates? We only have one left. Do you think the kids did something with them?”

“Probably.”

Then, the other day I discovered this in my kitchen sink: my good dishes had mysteriously returned, covered in dirt.

I didn’t ask, he didn’t tell. Sometimes it’s just better not to know.

Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, pumpkins

Johnson Family Newsletter 2013

December 4, 2013 By

In typical bipolar fashion, I decided to do a holiday newsletter, then opted out and then upon receiving newsy holiday  newsletters from friends,  decided it should be back on. After all, the world must know what the Johnsons did in 2013!

Overall, we had a great time full of family and friends, travel and minimal hospital visits (our gauge for a good year). We took plenty of fantastic ski vacations all over Colorado and a week at our favorite, Park City Mountain Resort in Utah. Last summer, the kids and I spent almost a month in Canada on a 3,000-mile trip that covered two countries and six states (Colorado, Montana, Washington, Oregon, Idaho and Utah). Jamie was only able to join us for a week of our trip, citing  “someone has to work to support your playtime.” Wise man; I couldn’t agree more.

Here’s a quick glimpse at our happenings. Click on the links for more details!

Atop 14,265-foot Mount Evans

Hadley

Hadley (9 going on 19) is in fourth grade at her Waldorf charter school and continues to love their arts-based academic education. Our free-spirited, fun-loving girl has been on several camping trips with her class and keeps busy with piano and volleyball. She’s also a stellar skier and for my birthday, we had a girl’s weekend of mogul-busting, snowshoeing, lake-skating and sledding. Hadley is a huge fan of horses and was delighted to spend a week at overnight Camp Chief Ouray last summer. She loves Fat Kitty, swimming, hiking, crafting, gardening, cooking and she was the top-performing girl in her grade at her school’s Fun Run. I should know. I ran beside her the entire way until our fifth mile when she blazed past me and I walked with a limp for a week. Her love for Scooby Doo has been replaced by mind-numbing shows on the Disney Channel like “Jessie” and “Dog with a Blog.” It looks like we have a tween, folks.

Hadley’s first scary leap into the Rooster Tail at the lake house in Vernon, B.C.

Skating at Copper Mountain

Summer hiking group at Mount Falcon

Bode

Our resident geek, Bode (age 7) loves all things space, educational and ensuring everyone is following the rules all the time. He is moderately obsessed with being the best-behaved kid in his second grade class (yet somehow is also among the most well-liked), thrives in academics, is a great little soccer player, skier, hiker, cook, master pumpkin grower and lives for his bi-weekly WiiU and technology sessions. For the second year in a row, he and Hadley were my child models at the 9News Back-to-School fashion show and he put Zoolander to shame. He and his sister went to Avid4Advenventure’s Survival Camp last summer and I now feel confident they can survive exactly two hours solo in the great outdoors. He never shuts up on the piano loves to play the piano, enjoys to read Calvin and Hobbes, bike down to our neighborhood skate park and play with LEGOS. His current obsession is constructing dream mansions for us out of giant wooden blocks and creating intricate maps of his designs. We strongly encourage this as a future profession.

First solo flight to see Grandma in Utah!

A snowy hike in Evergreen=joy

First fish fly fishing at The Ranch at Emerald Valley

Jamie

The Pumpkin Man had a great year. He grew his biggest pumpkin ever, 1,220-pound Stanley, and we landed a picture of him in The Denver Post. A professional carver drove down every day from Fort Collins for a week to chisel a marvelously creepy face into the giant gourd. And then Stanley and Jamie went on tour visiting both of the kids’ schools and harvest festivals, thereby cementing his status as a local celebrity. In other news (though really, is there any other news?), Jamie’s web development business Pixo Web Design and Strategy continues to grow, he has a few employees and is always busy. We marked our 10-year wedding anniversary last February and he surprised me by recreating the magical night we got engaged that included a limo ride to the swanky Briarwood Inn. He was recently released from the Bishopric at church and not even five days later, he was called as a stake clerk over technology, a real stretch.

Atop McConkey’s lift for the first time as a family at Park City Mountain Resort

Stanley the Pumpkin

Stanley’s scary carving

Amber

I’ve had a busy year working for the newspaper and various freelance opps in the travel industry. Our favorite gig is writing for AAA Five Diamond The Broadmoor’s magazine because they pay their writers in trade, which amounts to an opulent, indulgent vacation like no other in Colorado Springs.  I love hiking every week, skiing, boot camp, volunteering at school and in the community. I received an award in recognition of journalistic excellence as a community blogger from Digital First Media, The Denver Post’s parent company. But my real prize was when I was at a media luncheon hosted by the Maui Convention and Visitor’s Bureau and my name was drawn as the winner of a trip to Maui (we’re going in February). At church, I was sad to be released from the Young Women (favorite calling ever) and now serve in the stake’s Public Affairs where I work with community leaders and media.  I’m also the volleyball coach and our ward’s Primary pianist and have mastered The Look from across the room, which quickly corrects the behavior of any misbehaving kids. We all have our talents.

Solo hike to Maxwell Falls in Evergreen, Colo.

9News fashion show

Girl’s only birthday ski trip

Fat Kitty

He’s still fat, snuggly, sleepy, sweet and lives for his backyard adventures of stalking mice and eating grass ’til he pukes. We often walk in on him licking himself in Cirque du Soleil-esque positions but it was this shot I took of him on my bed that convinced us all that he’ll be America’s Next Top Model. Look for him on a Kitty Litter advertisement coming your way soon.

America’s Top (Cat) Model

We feel infinitely blessed this holiday season for wonderful family, good friends and the gospel in our lives.

Merry Christmas!

XO

The Johnsons

Filed Under: Bode, Family, Family travel, Hadley, holidays, Humor, Jamie, LDS, Marriage, outdoors, pumpkins, skiing, travel, Utah

Pumpkin season is a wrap with the school’s pumpkin drop

November 5, 2013 By

When Bode’s school announced they were doing a pumpkin drop fundraiser for the Colorado flood victims the day after Halloween, we were all in. It was for a great cause and we figured we needed to cut up the pumpkin anyway so why not do it in front of a crowd?

So 695-pound Elbert was the star for the day, which was pretty nice for him since his big brother 1,220-pound Stanley got all the limelight this season. (Read about Stanley’s dismantling here).
We even let kids climb all over him for once because he was near death anyway.

The PTA organized all kinds of fun games like pumpkin bowling, a pumpkin splat where people chucked their pumpkins at a target and then another where they were dropped from a ladder. Twelve lucky kids had their names drawn to have their pumpkins released from a fire truck. I’d like to think Hadley and her friend were marveling at the height of the crane, not the cute firefighters. Give it a few years.

Talk about an impressive drop and of course, Bode and his buddies thought it was awesome.
“Homerun!”

We did not have the proper equipment to lift and drop Elbert so while the other pumpkins met their death, Jamie started cutting Elbert open for the seeds. When everyone saw what he was doing, they raced over and a pumpkin celebrity was borne.


Kids and adults were begging him for seeds. He denied most…he has people all over the world who have already spoken for them but he did relent when some started offering him money. I was proud when he didn’t take the money from the desperate 5-year-old waving his dollar bill. That kid has a future as a pumpkin geek.

Looking inside the giant pumpkin

And just what did Elbert look like on the inside? The meat wasn’t very thick at all–the reason why Elbert went way lighter than his measurements.

My friend Amie and her mom Sara were so darn cute–they’re The Pumpkin Man’s biggest fans.

We found many new uses for Elbert, including the portion that was used a rocking chair.

Little did that kid’s mom know her son would come home covered in pumpkin guts.

When people saw Jamie was preoccupied with cutting up the pumpkin, they started asking me questions. One woman had grandkids at the fundraiser and was thrilled when I scored her a seed. “I read about you in the newspaper,” she raved (referring to this funny article here where Jamie was made to sound like a local celebrity).

Her husband soon approached and as I was talking to him about Jamie’s insanity (particularly the part where he monitors the temperatures of his early-season hoop houses from a temperature gauge near our bed), he said Jamie sounded just like a guy he saw on TV.

Then, there was that awkward moment when he realized we were those crazies who appeared on the Marriage Ref battling it out about pumpkins. I assured him we were still together and all was well well. :)

So, this is the official end of pumpkin season. One of Jamie’s pumpkin buddies left me a cautionary note on Facebook:

Please make sure you watch Jamie closely for signs of Post Pumpkin Depression…obvious signs are hiding money to purchase seeds at auction. Watch for invoices for next years pumpkin supplies. Only cure I know is to start preparations for next year by hauling large amount of compost, leaves and manure. This should not be confused with Pumpkin Envy which is more serious.

I’m bracing myself for the fallout.

Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, Marriage Ref, pumpkins

The Tale of Two Giant Pumpkins

November 1, 2013 By

It’s always a bit of a letdown when Halloween is over, particularly when I have a house chock full of decorations to remove. This year was one of our favorites ever because of all the parties and pumpkins. A friend commented, “You seem to have posted more pumpkin pictures on Facebook than usual this year.” Not sure if she meant it as a compliment or critique but I’ll take it as the former.

The murder of Stanley the Pumpkin

Usually we put the Great Pumpkin on the driveway and it sits there ’til Halloween. This year, our friend Phil generously lent us his flatbed trailer for the entire month so the Great Pumpkin sat in front of our house while also going to fall festivals and the kids’ schools.

Next year: world tour?

But there’s a sad tale about Jamie’s 1,220-pound beast, Stanley. About a week after we got him professionally carved, he started rotting out quickly and then the squirrels came in for the attack. With as much pomp and circumstance as Stanley came into the world, his was a quiet, dignified death as Jamie cut him up and composted him back into the pumpkin patch a couple of weeks ago. Sniff.

So, pumpkin No. 2 “Elbert” was the shining star for Halloween. Weighing in at only 695 pounds, Elbert was the ugly, warty step-sister but still shone brightly last night.

It’s a tradition for kids to pose every Halloween with the Great Pumpkin, like our darling neighbors

Our neighborhood is renowned for having great trick-or-treating so we get a lot of transplants who bilk our treats and festivities. I don’t mind but I can always tell who they are because they marvel at how big it is i.e. “that is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen!”

On the other hand, the kids in our area have seen it all month so we only got complaints from them. “What happened to the big one!?”

High-maintenance, I tell ya. They didn’t know how good they had it.

For details of Stanley’s demise, go to Jamie’s blog denverpumpkins.com. Also, stay tuned for details on our Halloween festivities!

 

Filed Under: Humor, pumpkins Tagged With: ,

The Carving of The Great Pumpkin

October 18, 2013 By

On a whim, Jamie put his giant 1,220-pound pumpkin up for sale on Craigslist a couple of weeks ago. He never really expected to sell it. His asking price was high and not too many people have their own forklift and flatbed required to haul it away.

But he did get an interesting response from Michelle Barnett: she was dying to carve it. For free!

And so she drove down from Fort Collins every day this week (about an hour drive) and worked in the cold, rain, sun and even snow flurries. She was so patient, passionate and probably spent 20 hours carving the beast.

Before:

The very beginning

After:

The (mostly) finished pumpkin

Michelle was a hit with our neighbors who were constantly stopping to watch her work and someone on the next street even invited her for coffee.

Ask me if a neighbor has ever invited me over for coffee (never mind that I don’t touch the stuff).

But if I want to ante up on my popularity, it would appear I need to grow…and carve a giant pumpkin.

Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, pumpkins

How we were big winners and losers at our local pumpkin weigh-off

October 14, 2013 By

Though Jamie has moved onto bigger and better things in the pumpkin world, we feel a sense of obligation to attend our small city’s annual scarecrow festival. After all, this was where Jamie got his first blue ribbon that fueled his obsession.

He hasn’t brought his pumpkin to this particular weigh-off for several years because a forklift and large scale are needed to remove and weigh his pumpkins, neither of which this competition has. Even bringing the kids’ pumpkin caused its own set of problems because this was their biggest ever and took six of us to lift it into the car.

And yes, our neighbors will be avoiding us for quite some time.

As we pulled up to the pumpkin unloading zone, we saw one of the longtime event organizers who has always praised Jamie very highly. But he didn’t initially realize it was us, causing Jamie to haughtily say, “Does he not know a celebrity when he sees one?

Big head much?

But Jamie is a local celebrity in the growing community and usually comes away with several proteges who grow for the first time the following year.

Admittedly a huge pet peeve at this weigh-off is parents who set their kids loose on the pumpkins. In fact, I got in an argument with a woman last year who, even after I asked her very nicely to not let her kid crawl over the pumpkin because it was easily damaged, she released a barrage of obscenities along the lines of “My kid can do whatever the #*$&#*$&# he pleases and I should mind my own #$&*$# business.”

To avoid any such altercations, this year I let the pumpkin do the talking with a few helpful signs.

It also helped that as the kids visited all the fun booths, I was left behind to be the chief pumpkin babysitter a.k.a. bouncer.

When it came time for the competition, the kids’ 429-beast (s)quashed both the adult and children’s division so the organizers weighed it last. They were  awarded a blue ribbon and a $50 garden center gift certificate, which they happily traded with Jamie for a fast-food meal. He was one proud papa.

However, there have been some rather disturbing occurrences at our house lately. Last week, I posted the following Facebook update:

I just found a pumpkin seed on my side of the bed. I suspect this is The Pumpkin Man’s subtle way of replacing me.

It was then confirmed that Jamie is slowing replacing each one of us. Following the weigh-off, we loaded the pumpkin in the car and it wasn’t until after we’d driven away that Bode noticed we’d left Hadley behind.

She’s already turning into a pumpkin

This means Bode is next. Pray for him.

Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, Humor, pumpkins Tagged With: , ,

Our debut as professional pie contest eaters at Four Mile Historic Park

October 9, 2013 By

Four years ago when Jamie was in Portland visiting his buddy at a pumpkin weigh-off, the kids and I fell in love with Four Mile History Park’s annual Great Pumpkin Harvest Festival. This rustic 12-acre historic oasis and the site of Denver’s oldest house is a charming throwback to yesteryear. Scarecrow making. Caramel apples and apple cider. Pioneer games. Horse-drawn wagon rides. Museum tours. Wood-burning stove cookie baking and Native American fry bread. Mountain man encampment. Gold panning. Historic blacksmithing demonstrations.

I loved it all and have been dying to go back but last weekend was our first opportunity while Jamie was at another weigh-off.

Pumpkin ring toss

Very heated musical chairs cakewalk

New obsession: stilt walking

 

Apple cider doughnuts I’ve dreamed about for four years

Four Mile Historic Park had pumpkins for purchase in a cute little pumpkin patch but we couldn’t be bothered.

“We don’t need to stop there, Hadley. We’re pumpkin snobs.”

“What’s a snob?”

“Someone who thinks they’re better than someone else.”

“Why yes, yes we are pumpkin snobs.”

But there’s nothing better than pie-eating contests and darn it if Hadley and Bode didn’t hit the jackpot by being two of the lucky 15 kids who signed up.

There was some stiff competition: a lot of hungry-looking teenagers. Bode looks like he’s praying in this picture. It worked. At least it did when he figured out it’s better not to lick the berry pie…

and just jump right on it. Little dude never looked back.

Hadley, on the other hand, started strong by smashing her face in her apple pie and ingesting it. About a minute later, she came up for air.
“Mom, I can’t breathe! I have pie up my nose”

“Breathe later, eat now.”

I have a future as a competitive pie-eating coach. My first rule: do not slurp the apples like a straw.

Or look at your competition. Bode lost precious seconds here.

But  he needn’t have worried because he totally beat Hadley who ended up looking like this.

I don’t think she’ll want apple pie anytime soon.

But we had a blast and you’d better believe we’ll be training for next year.

Filed Under: Bode, Colorado, Foodie, Hadley, Humor, pumpkins Tagged With: ,

When a Woman Loves a Man: The Pumpkin Version

October 4, 2013 By

I’ll admit it: I rarely go out to the pumpkin patch. I venture over there a few times a year to help Jamie with a few tasks but mostly, I watch the pumpkin’s progress from our porch or bedroom window. And I hear about the pumpkin 24-7 so it’s not like I’m absent from the process.

But the day of the pumpkin party, Jamie had a request: could I please come help him take the pumpkin’s final measurements? If you will recall, it was raining. Hard.

“Just wear some shoes you don’t mind getting muddy,” he counseled.

I did just that. As we were walking out to the patch, he noticed them.

“But those are my shoes you’re wearing.”

“Yup.”

Smart wife, non?

You haven’t lived until you’ve measured a giant pumpkin in the rain. He uses an over-sized tape measure and barks orders of where to hold it to get it exactly right. The pumpkin was wet and slippery so it took several tries but we finally measured the beast and emerged muddy and soaking wet.

The takeaway? Greater love hath no wife than she who measures a giant pumpkin with her husband in the rain.

=====

In case you missed it:

Drumroll: And the Great Pumpkin’s Weight is….

Like a giant pumpkin to the slaughter: a pumpkin party to remember

Stanley the Pumpkin Does Colorado Schools and the Fun Run

Recipe: Delicious Pumpkin Pie Crisp Bars

 

Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, pumpkins

Stanley the Pumpkin Does Colorado and the Fun Run!

October 2, 2013 By

Before we move the Great Pumpkin onto our driveway where it stays until Halloween, both the kids beg for us to bring it to school. On Monday, Jamie and I showed it to Bode’s second grade class and it was a hoot.  Bode talked about how much the pumpkins weigh, how he grew them and then announced. “OK, I will take nine questions” and then pointed to various kids with their hands raised. At the end of our Q&A, he brusquely said, “OK, I will take two more comments,” and then wrapped it up.

Little dude has a future as a teacher. Or a dictator.

For the second year in a row, we were able to take the pumpkins to Hadley’s school’s fun run. Last year, I hung out eating bonbons cheering for Hadley while she ran by as I talked to my friend Aime. This year, I volunteered to run it with her, not realizing exactly what I was committing to. I mean, it was a fun run so surely it was just that, right?

Warm-up!

Turns out it wasn’t just a few laps around the park but the challenge was to get in as many laps as you could during the hour-long run. Back in the day, I was Miss Long Distance. My elementary school would have Run for Your Life where we’d race around the fields collecting Popsicle sticks for each lap and every year, Paul MacEachern and I dominated.

Those days are long, long over.

This was the longest I’ve run on my knee since my surgery but I have to tell you how impressed I was with Hadley. The first several laps she didn’t stop at all and as we got deeper and deeper into the hour, we’d do brief walking and water breaks but she kept plugging along while many of her classmates stopped. If I hadn’t been there with her, I would have quit after about a half hour when my knee started bugging me but I kept going and she later said she wouldn’t have done as many laps if I hadn’t been there. Ever since her field trip last week, she’s been much more appreciative of me and commented, “you’re one of the only moms who’s running. That’s really cool!”

And how I know she’s mine: Every time we’d run up to a boy, she’d very sweetly rub it in by saying “good job!” and then blow past him.

In the end, she did 19 laps–the most of any girl in her grade and more than most of the boys. We ran just short of five miles and she blazed ahead of me on our final lap. Though she’s really athletic, she does more solo sports like skiing and hiking so having a measurable success was a huge ego boost for her.

Having a giant pumpkin to show off to all her friends at school didn’t hurt the ego, either.

 

 

Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, Humor, pumpkins

(Drumroll) And The Great Pumpkin’s Weight Is….

October 1, 2013 By

After a thoroughly exhausting, fun and wet pumpkin party, the day of the weigh-off was even more chaotic as we juggled Bode’s soccer and my volleyball game (thanks to Aunt Lisa for coming to the rescue with rides!)

Jamie says he loves driving the Great Pumpkin to the weigh-off because of all the stares and cheers he receives.

And who can blame them with this cargo?

The festivities are at Jared’s Nursery in Littleton and have grown from a little podunk weigh-off to a veritable harvest festival with a haunted house, face painting, mazes, bouncy castles, games and food trucks.

But still, the highlight is always checking out the giant gourds.

It feels a bit like you’re wandering around the Land of the Lost with these 100-pound pears. And of course, all those pumpkins.

I felt really happy for Jamie because, for the first time, his pumpkin was among the largest and was the one people singled out for pictures.

Of course, we had to pose for our requisite family photo with the other woman. Though in this case, she’s a man named Stanley in honor of my dad and Jamie’s best friend. My friend Fiona called us the “Mannings of the pumpkin growing world.”

I’m sure that means we must be millionaires.

The kids’ division was first. Early in the season, Hadley lost her pumpkin so they both grew Bode’s pumpkin, which is just a nice way of saying he did most of the work but she wants part of the credit.

Regardless, they blew away the other kids and won with their biggest pumpkin ever: 429.5 pounds! It went 15 percent heavier than its measurements.

Up next was the adult division. Jamie’s pumpkin developed a small crack five weeks prior, which automatically disqualified it from competition but he still wanted to weigh it. It was measuring out to be over 1,400 pounds, which would have beat the 1,308-pound Colorado state record.

But it wasn’t to be so. Though Stanley was a beast, he went “light,” which in pumpkin terms means he wasn’t as thick on the inside so turned out to be about 200 pounds lighter than Jamie had hoped.

A man and his giant pumpkin

But 1,220 pounds is nothing to be sad about. Stanley was a few hundred pounds heavier than Jamie’s personal best and was one of the biggest grown in Colorado this year. His friend Joe ended up growing a 1,478-pound pumpkin and won the competition. Which just means there’s an even bigger goal for next year.

Congrats to my cute family on a job well grown!

 

 

Filed Under: Bode, Family, Hadley, Humor, Jamie, pumpkins Tagged With: ,
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