Church in 2020

July 5, 2020 By

When closures were announced on March 13, 2020, church was among them. There have been so many inspired things leading up to this including a home-based Sunday School curriculum “Come Follow Me” last year. I remember thinking, “This is awesome…but it’s not like we’ll ever have to have church at home. It’s not like we live in some war-torn country or something.”

Enter: 2020. And we’re getting ravaged with pandemics, wildfires, earthquakes, you name it.

Overall, holding Sacrament in our home has been edifying and uplifting. Some weeks are better than others but I really miss the fellowship with everyone and have honestly been a bit frustrated over the lack of contact from the kids’ leaders at church. I feel like we’ve been in a silo for months so it was nice when they announced they were slowly and cautiously resuming church depending upon our area.

Things I want to remember about returning to church for the first time since March:

  • Held in 3 different 45-minutes sessions to keep numbers under 100.
  • Sanitization between meetings,
  • Most everyone was wearing masks, (I wish everyone who was able could have done it).
  • We were seated every-other-row for social distancing and for a walkway to pass the Sacrament.
  • Deacons used sanitizer before passing the Sacrament (it was strange seeing Bode passing in a mask) and no one else touched the trays. There was a tray for the Sacrament cups and a separate one for disposing of them.
  • No hymn books and singing was muted with all the masks and smaller numbers.

It all felt so stilted and strange….

Except it wasn’t.

One of our favorites Kaden Webb was called to serve in the Santiago, Chile East mission and he gave a powerful talk about his home MTC experience and how people are turning their hearts to God without ever having stepped into a church building. How this time of uncertainty is also an opportunity for seeking..and answers.

And I loved the story Steven L Nichols shared about recording a football game to watch later but he inadvertently found out the score. Knowing his team won, he decided to watch the game anyway. What he didn’t know was there was a lot of drama. Comebacks. Highs and lows. When he’d start to get stressed out, he would remind himself, “You know how it all ends. It will all be OK.”

And so it is now. I am so glad to have been given that reminder today.

“I love you, dear brothers and sisters, and assure you that wonderful days are ahead.” President Russell M. Nelson.

Filed Under: LDS

A final farewell

May 19, 2019 By

I returned from Calgary on Friday and I’m still processing the myriad of emotions from burying my mother.

Mom took a turn for the worst shortly after Christmas and we were sure it was time. She spent several weeks in the hospital as my family started planning her funeral. I stressed about immigration. My passport and green card expired in March. Should I roll the dice and send everything in to be renewed, praying she didn’t pass away and I wouldn’t be able to get home? Or should I delay the renewal until March and run the risk of letting everything expire? I ended up rolling the dice and submitting everything in January…which turned out to be a big stress because my passport application got returned, along with a myriad of other problems.

Mom has been on the cusp of needing to go in a care facility for a few years now but my Dad has somehow continued with her care with the help of daily visits from Alberta Health.  The week prior to my mom’s passing, he took a mental health vacation to Mexico. My mom has been vehemently opposed to being left in a care facility for fear that she would never come home again. Fortunately, my brother and his family have been living with my parents so they were able to watch her at night while women in our ward stayed with her during the day.

Her Passing

When my mom returned home from the hospital a few months ago, she had bounced back and though she still had a poor quality of life, she was in a much better place. She attended family dinners (including Easter where they rolled her wheelchair to roll Easter eggs down the hill) and was happier than she had been in a while.

The night before my dad left for his early-morning flight to Mexico, she told him, “I’m not even going to have a chance to say good-bye to you.” My dad interpreted that to mean saying their farewells the next morning but maybe it went deeper than that.

The week she spent with my brother’s family was the best she had in a long time. She had some semblance of her former self and was in good humor. When Jamie and I were saying good-bye to her at Christmas, we saw a glimpse of her former spunk when she reacted incredulously to our 6 a.m. flight. It was good to hear her laugh again.

She was also manic at times the last week of her life. My brother and his wife Jennifer would hear her rummaging through the kitchen at all hours. On Saturday, she fell–hard–and her glasses cut her face. They rushed her to the hospital for her to get stitches and did an MRI because she hit her head. Nothing showed up and amazingly, she was still in good humor. “I can’t figure out why I have such a bad headache,” she said in the hospital. Maybe because you slammed the floor, hard!

Jen and Jade took away her walker when she wasn’t supervised because they were worried she would have another bad fall. On her last night on earth, my brother Jade woke up at midnight to her cooking toast in the kitchen. He was frustrated and tired.  Jade has had poor health for months as he has battled kidney stones, failed surgeries and other major hardships. He patiently waited for her to finish and he was granted a sacred moment with her.

“I want to go home,” she quietly told him.

She has said this a few times the last several months, which my family interpreted to mean she was confused with where she was. “You are home,” my sister-in-law, Jane told her. But slowly it started to sink in. “OK, Christine. You can go home.” After years of fearing death despite her hellish condition, she was ready to go home.

My mom started to have trouble breathing that final night and Jade debated taking her back to the hospital but when he went to check on her around 2 a.m., she had fallen asleep in her beloved chair. Four hours later on April 30, 2019, Jen went to check on her and realized she had passed. Or rather, Jen was “99% sure” she had passed away.  She frantically called my brothers. Pat called me at 7:05 a.m. with the news. Dad was flying home from Mexico that day he eventually got the message to call home. After years of taking care of her, he was spared the horror of being the one who found her, calling the funeral home, and seeing her taken away. It was a tender mercy for her to pass away at home, in her chair.

The Dressing and Viewing

In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, our view of death is an eternal one. We believe we lived as spirits in a pre-mortal existence with God (but that we have always existed as Intelligences). That we came to earth where our spirits gained a mortal body where we grow in wisdom and faith. When we die, we are reunited with loved ones in a world of light: the spirit world, where we await judgment and resurrection through Jesus Christ. (Learn more about the Plan of Salvation, Great Plan of Happiness here).

My mom didn’t want a large funeral. Her final requests were for a simple graveside service with a closed casket at the Okotoks Cemetery. I flew in a day before Jamie and the kids so I could go to Pierson’s Funeral Home with my Aunt Sue, sister-in-laws Jane and Jennifer, and nieces, Ashton and Emily. Our purpose? To dress my mom’s mortal body. Mike Pierson walked us through the process and we began with a prayer prior to entering the Rose Room (which I thought was the perfect location because of her love of roses).

Seeing her for the first time was a beautiful experience. She had sustained a large bruise and stitches on her face from her fall a few days prior to her death but she looked at peace. Mike assisted Jane and me in dressing her in her temple dress and clothing. Her skin was cold and hard, yet smooth. My nieces did her hair and make-up to look like the beauty she always was.  “She is not here,” the spirit kept whispering. She was free. We placed her in the beautiful pink! coffin. Attending to her–as she always attended to me–was a final act of service.

That evening, we had a viewing for family and close friends. Many traveled to honor her and it was a close-knit, memorable night as stories and tears were shed. My mom’s best friend, Brenda, passed away when I was 12. Her daughter, Stacey, attended the viewing and the grief of losing her mom resurfaced and she struggled to leave my mom’s side. It made me think about her loss..and mine. I was about 13 when Mom was diagnosed with MS. Her journey has been a long, difficult and painful one but unlike Stacey’s mom, she was still here. As it came time to leave, we gathered around her coffin. I kissed her for the last time, softly placed her veil on her head and covered her face. The last, hardest good-bye.

The Graveside Service

On Friday, we met at the Willow Park Chapel to caravan to the Okotoks Cemetery. I was touched by the outpouring of friends and family on that cloudy morning. I hopped in the back of my Aunt Sue’s van with Jamie and Bode for the 30-minute drive. We were part of the caravan…until we weren’t. Jamie and Sue had assumed the cemetery would be outside of town so missed the turnoff. We finally pulled over to Google map the route and turned back.

Then, the phone rang; it was my brother Jade wondering where we were. “At least it was the nice brother,” Sue joked, but then the “not-nice” brother Pat came on the phone to not-so-nicely guide us back to the cemetery.

When we arrived 15 minutes late, everyone was already seated but with two pallbearers (Jamie and Bode) and the eulogist (me), we figured they couldn’t start without us. I wish I had time to regain my composure from being late but immediately, the pallbearers carried the coffin to the graveside before I was able to process what was happening.

The service was short. The bishop shared some remarks and then it was my turn to give the eulogy. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to hold it together but the previous day’s dressing and viewing were my good-bye; this eulogy was about sharing funny stories and touching tributes about my mom (I will post it separately).

Then, we had Open Mic. My dad shared the story of winning a vacation to Hawaii when I was 5. My dad was out snorkeling waaaaaay past the reef when he heard my mom yell at him from across the waves, “Stan, get back in here. You’re going to die and ruin everyone’s vacation.”  Always thinking of others. :-)

Aunt Sue shared stories of my dad’s devotion and losing her sister. Pat shared a story that he was out playing street hockey with his friends and Mom threatened him to come rest and get cleaned up before his hockey game, saying he would be too exhausted to play that night. They made a bet that she’d pay him $100 if he scored two goals…he went on to score three and she gave him a $100 bill after the game. For Jade, he had the special experience of being the final one to be with my mom and he shared her story of wanting to go home.

Granddaughter Ashton shared some of her fun Grandma Christine stories and the true showstopper was my nephew Jaxson. We all held our breath as he walked to the pulpit because he’s often king of the inappropriate but my gosh, he gave the most beautiful tribute to his grandma. Mom’s cousin Lynn Wilde gave a spiritual message, longtime family friend Colleen Low led us in song with”God Be With You ‘Til We Meet Again,” Jade dedicated the grave and Jane gave a beautiful prayer of farewell.

It was perfect.

Our family’s tradition of going out for Chinese food was rooted in Southern Alberta years ago when we would drive into Lethbridge and the Chinese restauranteurs would declare, “The Wildes are here again.” It is one of our favorite traditions and my dad generously took everyone in attendance out for Chinese food. It was the perfect way to honor her–with stories, laughter and ginger beef.

====

As we raced in late to the graveside service, several people told me I was my Frenzied Mom Incarnate. When I gave the eulogy, I shared the story of when my mom was late (as usual) for a class at BYU. Her instructor required latecomers to announce their last and first name and so she hurriedly shouted in the quiet room:

“WILDE CHRISTINE” which was met by laughter.
Wild, indeed.
How honored I am to be her daughter…and for her great legacy that will forever live on.
Filed Under: Family, LDS

In memorial on a hill

May 9, 2019 By

I have had so many emotions since my Mom’s death. My dad asked me to give the eulogy which has resulted in lots of laughter and tears as the wonderful tributes from her family and friends have poured in. On the final night she was alive, she quietly told my brother, “I want to go home.”

The spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life. And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow. -Alma 40:11-12

Today, I will participate in the sacred practice of dressing her in her temple clothes, a family viewing tonight, followed by her graveside service tomorrow.

I didn’t leave the house on the day she died but the next afternoon, I rode my bike to the top of Memorial Hill in the middle of our mountain hamlet. The site is dedicated to those from our valley who have served in any United States military conflict and it is a place we hold sacred. I was mercifully alone (it’s a popular destination) and I plopped myself down on the grass in front of the “Final Salute” bronze statue of a soldier’s boots, gun and helmet as I looked out over the valley. I talked to her, REALLY talked to her, something I haven’t been able to do since the illness took over a few years ago. I told her I missed her. That I was sorry for her suffering but that she was finally free. That her teenage grandchildren really need her help and even on the other side, I knew she would be in a position to call upon other ministering angels from our family to guide, comfort and inspire. I know this because I have felt her mom and dad–my Grandma and Grandpa Wilde–protecting me during some of my most vulnerable times.
As I sat in silence overlooking our view, a light breeze rolled through the valley, rustling the dog tags hanging from the statue. They read: “To all in God’s Grace. Never Forgotten.” 
For the first time, I noticed a bell attached to the front of one of the boots. How peculiar, I thought, and I reached over to ring it, chuckling with surprise that it actually worked as I remembered Jamie’s favorite movie, It’s A Wonderful Life:  “Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.”
She was there with me on that hilltop and it was a tender moment as it was confirmed that she would be looking out for me and our family…and that I could go to this special place whenever we needed to talk and that she would never be far away.
Filed Under: Family, LDS

A Great Week for Bode

September 29, 2018 By

Today was a good day.

Not because I weeded the yard for hours (definitely not that). Nor the 8 loads of laundry and the washing machine that is on the verge of death (I’m thankful for every successful wash). Nor the fact that I subbed for Jamie as coach of Bode’s soccer team and Bode scored FOUR GOALS! (Final score was 10-1).

It’s because Bode went to the LDS temple for the first time today!

When our youth turn 12, they are permitted to do limited ordinances in the temple and this was Bode’s first opportunity to go. Our ward has this crazy tradition of attending at 5:30 a.m. and I don’t know about you, but getting teenagers out of bed before the crack of dawn is NOT easy. Thankfully, they started switching off the times every month between early-morning and evening session (I would like to think this squeaky wheel is somewhat responsible for the change).  Today, they were supposed to go at 5:30 p.m. but at the last minute turned it back to the a.m. UGGGGGH.

Our beloved Bishop Sorenson is getting released tomorrow so he invited as many youth as were able to attend….and we had over 33, which was a testament to how much we love this dear man. Leading the charge was Hadley, whom I had to promise THE MOON to get her out of bed (that included a pumpkin steamer from Starbucks, no Saturday chores and her phone returned).

But most important of all: I wanted both of my kids to be there for Bode’s first time going through.

He was a bit nervous but really enjoyed being with all of his friends in that sacred place–it’s tough NOT to feel the spirit! We had to leave earlier than the main group to drive back to Midway because of his soccer game but I asked if I could take a picture of him. True to [awkward] form, he sweetly said yes, “BUT ONLY ONE.”

The main group:

Earlier this week, Bode finished reading the Book of Mormon and wants to read the Doctrine & Covenants in its entirety. On the drive home from the temple, I casually mentioned it in the car and the Young Men’s president asked Bode if he would feel comfortable briefly talking about it the next day. He reluctantly agreed; he really doesn’t like a lot of recognition for things like this and that is exactly why Jamie and I decided that if/when each of our kids finished reading The Book of Mormon, we would take them on a fun weekend trip somewhere. We’re currently watching for cheap flights to San Francisco or somewhere nearby for the boys.

Every night before bed, I can see Bode’s nightlight on as he reads and softly plays the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Today, he confided in me that he likes to listen to the choir’s signature “God Be With You Till We Meet Again” before he turns out the lights every night.

“And a little child shall lead them.”

That boy sure has a lot of goodness to give.

Filed Under: Bode, LDS

Swiss Days 2018: Survived!

September 3, 2018 By

I had heard of Midway’s annual Swiss Days celebration when I lived in Salt Lake City after graduating from BYU and was intrigued because I served a mission en Suisse but never attended. Little did I know it would become such a huge part of my life.

This is the second year Jamie and I have been booth managers for the largest food booth at the festival: The Swiss Tacos. Last year was our apprentice year, this year, we were in charge and next year, we will be the consulting couple. And then after that, we will be able to enjoy Swiss Day in much smaller stints. All the meetings leading up to it, the week of set-up and then two 14-hour days are enough to do anyone in.

But overall, we loved it! Well, the kids and I love it; Jamie only kinda tolerates it. Large crowds and chaos aren’t really his thing. They’re not mine either but this year, I caught a glimpse of why Swiss Days is so beloved as I saw an entire town come together and many generations reunite to volunteer because it is tradition.

When I was 12, I started working at my mom’s restaurant and I love seeing my family work in the booth….

Hadley was awesome slinging dough while Bode was a great “runner” and threw the dough in the sizzling oil vats

Booth manager extraordinaire

Our youth were assigned to garbage duty and had a great time hanging off the kubotas….

How I love the Swiss Days Parade! To be clear, I hate big-city parades with their fancy floats and lack of candy. I grew up attending the Canada Day parade in Raymond and loved the small-town feel with friends and neighbors. This year, the kids tossed out candy for our friend Mimi’s “float,” Love 4 Mia in honor or her sweet daughter who passed away. They’re all about giving back to the community and it was an honor to be a part of it.

Polly and Hadley leading the charge

It was fun to see our neighbor’s Thai exchange student throwing out candy with Bode and the kids

Some other things I want to remember:

  • 80-year-old Clarence insisting upon being the tomato slicer each morning. He was elbow-deep in tomato guts when I asked if he wanted an apron and I got roped into tying it on him..and giving him a back rub.
  • The Swiss Days Committee asked if they could bring some volunteers from the Half-way House to our booth. They were really hard workers and I’m so grateful for how loving and accepting the other volunteers were of them.
  • Clean-up duty on Monday is pretty thankless except for all of the leftover treats and drinks. There was a huuuuge spread this year.
  • On Sunday, the owners of Dairy Keen opened up their restaurant for the booth managers and other key volunteers for a private dinner. It’s super fun to have a behind-the-scenes glimpse and to have so many people pitching in to take orders and cook up the food. Peach cobbler shakes for the win!

What a gift it is to be part of a small town that exudes charm and true community…and I’m glad I have an entire year to recover from it all.

Filed Under: LDS, Utah

Aaronic Priesthhood and the Errands of Angels

August 5, 2018 By

August 5, 2018 was a special day for our family: Bode received the Aaronic Priesthood and was ordained to the office of Deacon, and my brother, Pat, turned 50! Talk about a memorable day for both of them.

In the Church today, worthy male members may receive the Aaronic Priesthood beginning at age 12. These young men, typically ages 12–17, receive many opportunities to participate in sacred priesthood ordinances and give service. As they worthily fulfill their duties, they act in the name of the Lord to help others receive the blessings of the gospel. -lds.org

Things I want to remember:

Last night was the worst thunder and lightening storm we’ve had since we moved to Utah. The power went out around 10 p.m. and we went to bed in complete darkness. The next morning when I walked into the living room, Bode had stumbled out of bed and fallen back asleep on the couch. The whole room was full of light…and I was so filled with love and appreciation for my sweet boy and the man he is becoming. 

After four non-stop weeks of activity (Trek, Canada and volleyball camp), Hadley had an exhaustion-fueled meltdown that escalated to a full-blown panic attack on Friday, the worst she has ever had. Jamie and I shifted gears from frustration and anger when we tried to get her to leave for a long-planned cabin getaway with friends that afternoon to honestly being at a loss of how to help her calm down..and fear. Bode knew. Jamie was in his office and Bode came in. “I think we should pray for Hadley, Dad.” And so they did. He has always been very sensitive tothe spirit and looks for ways to bring calm and peace to our family. Always.

The boy does not like to be the center of attention so it was torturous for him when I told Hadley to do a little photo shoot before church but she got a few great pictures of our boy.

Our Bishopric member called him up in front of the congregation to congratulate him for moving on from Primary (the children’s organization), completing his Faith in God and to announce he would be ordained a Deacon that afternoon (which elicited a quiet cheer from his buddies at the Sacrament table).  The youth are usually asked at that time to share their favorite Article of Faith and/or short testimony and Bode was well-prepared…and was a bit relieved when Bother Price forgot to have him talk. He dodged at least one bullet that day!

 

Grandma and Grandpa Johnson, Aunts Lisa and Tammy, Uncle Jeremy and cousins Ada, Berkley and Darby all came to see him ordained to the priesthood that afternoon, a sacred ordinance performed by his dad in a circle of love, fellowship and priesthood holders. It was a special, sacred moment.

We gathered after church to celebrate Bode’s birthday with smoked brisket, corn on the cob, watermelon, two kinds of homemade French fries, topped off by Bode’s favorite dessert: strawberry cheesecake.

How grateful we are to have this strong, smart and spiritual boy to help lead the way in our family.

—–

I loved this story that I read to Bode when we were staying at my mom’s cousin’s house in Canada. The following is excerpted from President Thomas S. Monson’s biography, To the Rescue, our former prophet who recently passed away. There are two priesthoods: the lower (Aaronic Priesthood) which is what Bode received and the higher priesthood (Melchizedek). This is a beautiful story about the importance and gifts of the Aaronic Priesthood. 

Before Tom left for basic training, his bishop recommended that he receive the Melchizedek Priesthood. Tom phoned his stake president, Paul C. Child, to set up an interview. President Child was known for his love and deep understanding of the scriptures. He was also known for his searching, detailed probing of the scriptures with those he interviewed. So when Tom called for an appointment, he was reasonably nervous.

“Fine, Brother Monson. When can you see me?” President Child replied.

Knowing that President Child’s sacrament meeting was at six o’clock, Tom suggested five o’clock, hoping that the interview would be brief.

“Oh, Brother Monson, that would not provide us sufficient time to peruse the scriptures,” said President Child. “Could you please come at two o’clock and bring with you your personally marked and referenced set of scriptures.”

When Sunday arrived, Tom appeared at President Child’s home on Indiana Avenue at the appointed hour. He was “greeted warmly, and then the interview began.”

“No, President Child.”

“Do you know,” said the president, “that you are entitled to such?”

Again Tom said, “No.”

Then President Child requested, “Brother Monson, repeat from memory Doctrine and Covenants section 13, which tells of the ordination of Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery to the Aaronic Priesthood.”

“Stop,” President Child directed. Then in a calm, kindly tone he counseled, “Brother Monson, never forget that as a holder of the Aaronic Priesthood you are entitled to the ministering of angels.” He then asked Tom to recite section 4 of the Doctrine and Covenants: “Now behold, a marvelous work is about to come forth among the children of men. Therefore, O ye that embark in the service of God, see that ye serve him with all your heart, might, mind and strength, that ye may stand blameless before God at the last day . . .”

Tom never forgot the spirit he felt in President Child’s home. It was “almost as if an angel were in the room.” And the message of the fourth section he had recited would become more than words revealed in 1830—those words would become a standard for him in his service to the Lord. . . .

Filed Under: birthday, Bode, LDS

A few life lessons from the trenches

May 11, 2018 By

Social media isn’t all bad, right? Here are a few gems I have come across on my social media feed that I love so much I want to document them. The first, from a popular writer; the other two from friends who are in the trenches and slowly digging their way out.  Life lessons for us all!

On Forging Through Trials 

If we stopped being so afraid of pain, we would find our power.

If we stopped being so afraid of pain, we would become the parents our kids need. It’s not our job — nor our right — to protect our kids from pain. It’s our job to point them directly toward their struggle and say: “See that? That was made for you. Your journey is straight through your story. I see your fear, and it’s big. But I also see your courage – and it’s bigger. You can do hard things.” -Glennon Doyle

On Parenting Teenagers

A few observations in parenting a teen/young adult that have helped me so far (many thanks to our coaches, teachers, and good advice from friends too):

* Love them regardless of their behavior towards you or others (shield with extra prayer when necessary). Forgive quickly. As you love, respect will naturally follow- don’t demand respect.

* Help them feel loved, valued, and worthy of love at a core level whenever you engage with them. Even if it’s in your silent prayers or by thinking “you are loved, valued, and worthy of love” when you think of them or are with them. Touch them whenever possible in a positive way- hug, back rub, kiss on the cheek, etc.

* If they don’t want to talk to you, serve them- clean their room, write them kind notes, make them their favorite food, give them a massage, take them to lunch etc. eventually they will and when they do, listen without judgment.

* Take time to notice what they are doing well and compliment them in front of others and even give thanks during family prayer.

* Establish expectations for family property (house, cars, etc) and how they are to be used and what behaviors are not allowed while using these things. If they don’t follow the rules they lose privilege to have access to the item, etc. until they agree to follow and try again.

* Recognize that if you try to control or force choices you will most always lose and the relationship (and trust) will suffer. Invite and suggest when appropriate, however, if they choose to do something different respect their choice and let them own their decision. “To take away someone’s agency is a moral crime.” The whole point of this life is to learn. Learning comes from experience.

* Invite your teen’s friends over often and meet their parents. Be clear about expectations when needed.

* Support their hobbies and passions 110%

* Every teen needs mentors outside the home to reinforce positive behaviors and encourage. Proactively seek mentors you admire for your teen. Be a mentor to other teens when asked if possible.

* Seek out parenting coaches, counselors, retreats, conferences etc if you need more support and ideas.

* Continue to have a social life of your own and keep dating your spouse.

* Once a child is 18 your main goal is to help them become independent- you may want to help them with career or education, but ultimately it needs to be their decision how that looks like for them. Be clear in what you will contribute or not and any expectations for rewards to be received (such as I’ll cover housing and food if you maintain 3.0 in college…or if you live at home and work, you will pay rent…)

* Enjoy them, learn from them and with them. 

-Kelly Anderson

On Finding Your Everyday Miracles

Do you ever feel like life is so hard, and no matter how hard you work, you can’t quite get “there”. I’ve been feeling this way the past few days, hardcore. It seems like I work my tail off, then some new thing happens, I move down a life level and begin working my tail off even harder.

This morning I was feeling it, and I posted about it a bit earlier. I decided to stop at McDonald’s for an Egg McMuffin as a little Friday morning break and to avoid the crush of cars driving to campus for women’s conference.

I pulled into the drive-thru and placed my order. Pulling up to the first window I smiled at the same lady who takes my card when I hit this McDonald’s about twice per month for a breakfast grab. She’s older and has clearly lived a pretty hard life. I don’t think we would agree on much, politics, religion, lifestyle-wise. Without saying “hello” or “your total is” she took my card and looked at me and said, “I repotted my lilac tree.” I paused, because what an odd thing to say. I love gardening, but she doesn’t know that. I love lilacs, but she doesn’t know that. And why is this the conversation opener for buying my breakfast sandwich? So I smiled and said, “Oh?” and she said, “It looked like it was dying, it wasn’t happy. But this morning I woke up and the blooms were opening.”

It basically hit me between the eyes that this was the answer to my heartfelt prayer this morning. I may be experiencing a “re-planting” in my life, and right now things may look droopy and like they will never bloom again, but the blooming will come.

I had to hold back a tear or two, and told her “Thank you for sharing that with me.” She shrugged and turned to go back to the register so I drove forward. By the time I was at the second window I was a teary mess. The lady in that window didn’t share any words of wisdom, just handed me my bag with a puzzled look on her face.

Heavenly Father loves us. He answers our prayers and he re-pots us so we will bloom. And sometimes the moments that he reaches us are so odd and unexpected and I’m so grateful to this woman, one of his daughters who is also pushing through her struggles in life, for sharing her story about the almost dead lilac tree. I’m not sure she will ever comprehend that she was a conduit for the spirit to communicate with me in that moment. May she be equally blessed in her life. May all her re-potted lilacs bloom. And I wish that for all of you. -Lisa

Filed Under: LDS

43 tons of rock

April 30, 2018 By

Good gosh, I hadn’t intended to let that much time lapse since my last blog post but life has been warp-speed ahead. BYU’s graduation was last week, I’m a couple of months ahead of schedule on our alumni magazine and work life is settling into a more reasonable rhythm–one where I dictate the wheres and the hows for the next few months. I really need to sell Mile High Mamas but that will take time and effort to redesign and revitalize it to where it needs to be, neither of which I have.

I have so many updates. Our fun spring break in San Diego. My awesome foodie group that meets every month.  The start to pumpkin season. Watching Bode score lots of soccer goals every week with Jamie as coach. The start of track season. The end to Hadley’s roller-coaster club volleyball season. A lot of seasons through the hourglass.

But if I’m being honest here, life is hard right now, really hard. I’m not a complainer but we’ve been dealt a heavy dose of C-R-A-P and every time we think we can come up for air, we’re thrust down under again.

Hard, hard, back-breaking things. Doctors. Interventions.  Mountains of medical bills.  A snowboarder who won’t pay for injuring Hadley and now we have to deal with the hassle of small claims court. My stupid bum knee(s) I can’t afford to fix. Jamie’s chronic rheumatism. This week our washing machine started wigging out and is knocking at death’s door. A part on our new dishwasher broke off and oh, don’t forget that our outdoor water spigot leaked into our walls and floorboards, forcing Jamie to punch a hole in the basement ceiling to survey the water damage and the potential for mold.

When it rains, it downpours. Sometimes inside your own house. 

We had 43 tons of rock delivered a couple of weeks ago. We’re slowing chipping away at our landscaping but it’s a slow process as Jamie repeatedly runs into problems installing the sprinkler lines. Once that is finished, then we can rock the backyard and then seed. Everything in its proper order. On Saturday, the kids tirelessly and without complaint helped me wheelbarrow and haul buckets upon buckets of rocks in our front yard. The rock pile is still there…and so are our weary muscles but the front yard is one step closer to being finished.

After yet another major blow after church yesterday, Jamie and I were feeling so darn defeated but I’m so grateful to have him by my side. “Survivor Island,” we jokingly call this new existence with the hope that pina coladas will someday be back on the menu. As I was expressing my frustrations to him last week, he said, “I really feel like we’ve got about seven years of this and then things will turn around. And then we’ll be better off than we ever were in Colorado.”

S-E-V-E-N YEARS? If you do the math, Bode will be 18. It’s no small coincidence that the end of his time frame also marks the end of the teenage years.

Jamie needs some tips on how to give an effective pep talk.

But you know what? Hard things are everywhere. My dad is a tireless caregiver for my mom. My friend Anne is an inspiring advocate for her beautiful autistic schizophrenic boy. My friend Tanya has been struggling with infertility for years after having cancer. She set the goal to do a triathlon and crushed it last year. She eagerly prepared to have a beautiful baby placed in their home via adoption, only to have the birth mom pull out right before. Tonight, she announced her cancer is back.

43 tons of rock.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland spoke at BYU’s Commencement and his words pricked my heart about the state of the world and our role in it.

No child should have to go to school fearful that they won’t live to see their parents that evening. No citizenry should have to live with a system, pick a nation, any nation, put a pin in a world map almost at random, where corruption is rampant, where chaos is the order of the day, and statesmen lack character, elevated to say nothing of elegant speech, and dignified personal behavior are seemingly alien concepts. No young people your age or any age ought to face conditions in so many places where poverty and abuse, including sexual abuse, malnutrition and disease, human trafficking and terror are still the rule, rather than the exception for too many people, including too many children.

Well, not on this day do I want to dwell on anything negative.

And you might say, ‘it has always been so down through time.’ Maybe it has but it doesn’t have to be. So, go out there and light a candle. Be a ray of light, be your best self and let your character shine. Cherish the gospel of Jesus Christ and live it. The world needs you and surely your Father in Heaven needs you if His blessed purposes for His children are to prevail. You have entered to learn…now go forth to serve and strengthen.

43 tons of rock.

We’ve got this. Even if it is one small load at a time.

Filed Under: Family, Health, LDS

That Whole Prayer Thing? Just Do It!

April 5, 2018 By

We just returned from a fast-and-furious trip to San Diego for Spring Break. We had to cram a week’s worth of activities into just three days because I have a huge work event next week so it was quite the whirlwind. When I get a moment to breathe, I’ll document all of the fun but for now here is something noteworthy.

On Friday, we went to SeaWorld. I have pretty magical Shamu memories from my youth and though they’ve done away with that show due to the recent trainer death, it’s still a special place. Jamie, Hadley and Bode and never been so it has been on my bucket list for them. We arrived at the park on Friday right after it opened and we pretty much had the run of the place (the crowds came later) so we had a blast riding their Manta roller-coaster (not too fast, not too slow, but juuuuust right). We were on a high as we explored the exhibits, pet stingrays and explored the Park.

Enter: Shipwreck Rapids.

We’ve done a similar ride several times at other theme parks with the winding river turns to rolling whitewater rapids. It’s a fun ride but not a favorite unless it’s hot because you get really wet. But Bode really wanted to do it and when you’re the younger brother of a bossy older sister, you rarely get your way. And easy-going Bode usually lets it slide so when he really wants to do something, we try to make it happen. The line said the wait time was 30 minutes but 60 minutes later, we finally boarded and the boys got drenched. During the ride, some nice passersby called out to us, waving. We excitedly waved back and that’s when they unleashed their supersoaker spray guns. For just 25 cents you can shoot the people on the ride.

Well, Bode was sold. After we got off to the ride, we were drying off near the lockers and he asked if he could have a quarter. I gave him my wallet, forgot about the interchange and a few minutes later, we went to get something to eat. As I went to pay, I reached into my backpack  and the wallet was gone.

“Bode, where is my wallet?”

“I gave it back to you!”

Turns out, he didn’t *exactly* return it…he left it on the ledge where I was sitting…and then we walked away.

Panicked, the two of us raced back to the lockers. As we were running, his first instinct was, “Mom, we need to say a prayer.”

We’ve taught the boy too well. I said a rushed prayer mid-run and as we returned to the final resting places of my wallet, we were dismayed that it was gone. The woman now sitting there said a couple of ladies were previously there and that she saw the wallet—she assumed it belonged to them. She got up to go to the restroom and when she returned, those ladies—and the wallet—were gone. AWK! I asked around to the area workers to see if it had been turned in and nothing.

Dismayed, we loped back to the lost-and-found to file a report. I didn’t have much hope but fortunately Bode did. He later told me he said two additional prayers that the person who had the wallet would feel bad and turn it in.

I told Bode I knew it was an accident but I was still in a MOOD. I told Jamie to take the kids to do some rides and I would meet them at the next show while I stayed behind to put a hold on our credit cards.

As I sat there, I felt I should go back to the scene of the crime one last time. Upon arrival, I saw a new worker at the gate—I had previously noticed him operating the Manta ride an hour earlier. Even though he wasn’t around when the wallet was taken, I asked him if he had heard anything.

“Yes,” he said. “A wallet got turned in and taken back up to the Manta ride.”

I raced up the ramp and sure enough, my wallet was there in one piece. How grateful I am for the honest people who found it and for the young boy whose first instinct was to turn to prayer.

That same week, my dad posted that he had misplaced my mom’s hearing aids. He had looked EVERYWHERE and couldn’t find them….but just before he was going to spend a few thousand dollars to replace them, he said a prayer. And he found them a few minutes later in her purse.

Takeaway: Prayer works and I need to slow down and remember that more.

Filed Under: Bode, LDS

My month of work in review

February 25, 2018 By

It has been just over a month since I started working at BYU and I’m overdue for an update. The first couple of weeks were rough trying to get into the new routine and there are still a lot of areas we need to tweak with the kids’ schedules but overall, I’m enjoying the new position and my co-workers.

Week 1. We thought we were going to die. No lie. Hadley got in her ski accident on Monday (Marin Luther King Jr. Day), she stayed home from school Tuesday and I started work Wednesday. She was unraveling in so many ways and we were emotionally and physically exhausted dealing with everything. We were supposed to start a personal finance class through the Church’s Self-reliance initiative but as we lay curled up in the fetal position on the couch, we decided the class would have to wait until spring (there was a lot of intensive homework and our camel’s back was already broken). Plus, I’m still running Mile High Mamas for the foreseeable future so I’m juggling two jobs while trying to keep everything else afloat.

Week 2. I came into this position at the worst possible time with the planning of our two biggest annual events + overseeing the editorial for our alumni magazine. Even though the position is only 3/4-time,  my commute is 1.5 hours and I’ve been working longer hours. Jamie has had to pick up a lot of my slack, driving Hadley to her many doctor’s appointments. I still felt overwhelmed with the position. My predecessor is my polar opposite: bookish, research-oriented and a Pulitzer Prize winner for spreadsheets. I seriously questioned my ability to fill her shoes and felt my creativity was being squashed. However, as I edited a 100-page donor report, there were so many stories of student internship experiences that directly correlated to our struggles. It was confirmed over and over again that landing this job was not a coincidence.

Week 3.  The awakening with our first big donor event. For three days, I hosted our guest lecturer from Vanderbilt, took his amazing wife on private tours of our art museums  and connected with them both in a meaningful way. The event was poignant and meaningful….and I started to catch a glimpse that maybe I could do this and bring my own flavor to the position.  Until I received my first paycheck. After taxes, tithing and 401K, I’m not making very much money but I guess every little bit helps, especially when we have a new car payment (Jamie bought me a Pilot for my birthday) and the mountain of medical debt we’ve accrued over the past year. And the backyard that needs to be landscaped. And the basement that needs to be finished.

Week 4. Things started to click at work. My proposal to overhaul our alumni magazine was approved and my student writers were excited about the new direction we were going with less in-depth research and more features. I celebrated my birthday with fresh snow (FINALLY), cross-country skiing after school with Bode, dinner at a delicious new restaurant, Midway Mercantile, and a live video chat with the authors of “Mustaches for Maddie” (a must-read) for our bookclub. A low-key but great day thanks to my awesome family and many sweet messages from friends.

Week 5.  We’re still surviving. Life is hard in so many ways–wading through Hadley’s struggles, Jamie’s chronic pain and my mom’s hospitalization. During those rough couple of weeks when I went back to work, Jamie was being overly accommodating and I felt badly because I knew he didn’t feel well and yet was going above-and-beyond for me. His response made me chuckle: “I just don’t like tears.”

At one of my low points, he reminded me of one of my favorite scriptures.

“And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.

“And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

“And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord” (Mosiah 24:13–15).

We may not be in bondage to some tyrannical leader (President Trump notwithstanding :-)   but life has been overwhelming since our move. I miss the comforts of friends and our wonderful life in Colorado as we still struggle every day to find our way here. But slowly and undeniably, God’s otherworldly strength is falling upon us and through all of this messiness, I know He is guiding our way.

Filed Under: Family, Hadley, Jamie, LDS
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