The Decade in Review

January 5, 2010 By

2000–We did not die as many predicted. Worked as an account executive at a PR agency in Salt Lake City and moonlighted as a travel writer. Paid $50 to spend the night at the new Salt Lake County jail’s “B&B.” Juggled two fun guys, making up for the dating drought that was my life the previous 2.5 decades.

2001–Landed dream job at Deseret Book Co. Oversaw events at the corporate office and 40 stores. Ate Lion House rolls every day (the best you’ve ever had), ran them off every night on some mountain trail. Worked as the travel editor at Sports Guide for the fourth year and wrote for Utah Outdoors. Traveled most weekends and loved every minute of it.

2002–Laid off when corporate cut one-third of the positions. Went into mourning, regrouped, made life changes and then played. Continued travel writing and branched into radio as a freelancer for Metro Networks. Attended multiple events at the 2002 Salt Lake City Games. Connected online with my future husband in July. Broke up with on-again, off-again boyfriend of five years. Met Internet Guy in September. Both men proposed the same week. Fell madly in love with Internet Guy.

2003–Moved to Denver. Married Internet Guy on February 15. Climbed 14ers (14,000-foot peaks), skied, backpacked Southern Utah, loved and laughed. Built a house, moved in with in-laws while it was being finished. Got pregnant. Got sick. Taught early-morning seminary. Got sick again.

2004–Still sick…and now big. Moved into new home April 15. Daughter Hadley born the next month. Beautiful, chubby, colicky and rarely slept. Thought life was over with motherhood. Joined hiking club for moms. Hit the trail a few times a week. Only time Hadley stopped crying. Loved introducing her to the outdoors.

2005–Hadley showing slight improvement. Still a tough, spirited, independent child. Lots of hikes, play dates, library story times and drop-in gymnastics. Started blog at MSN Spaces. Somehow documenting and connecting with online moms helped make sense of the madness. Husband had surgery to remove heart arrhythmia. Went on a cruise. Pregnant with baby No. 2. Had legitimate concerns could give birth to another tough baby. Prayed. A lot.

2006–Sick and big. Baby Bode born. Sweet and slept all the time. Amber rejoiced. Regular hikes and bike rides with both kids in the Chariot. Internet Guy promoted to director position at work. Life as a widow begins.

2007–Adjusted to life with two children. Went on another cruise. Pitched Mile High Mamas idea to both newspapers. Launched with The Denver Post in October. Husband’s pumpkin obsession begins. Started travel writing again. Family vacation to Mexico. Daughter began preschool. Finally saw the light at the end of the newborn tunnel.

2008–Husband loses job. Takes severance package and finished basement. Hired by company that had been actively recruiting him. Makes lots of money as their consultant. His pumpkin obsession continues. Spends every summer night at his parent’s pumpkin patch making out tending to his pumpkin. Final weight: 755 pounds.

2009–Hubby’s consulting gig dries up when main client declared bankruptcy. Starts Pixo Web Design and Strategy. Works hard. Grows pumpkin. Family goes on Tour de Colorado for summer vacation. Tornado wipes out pumpkin patch. Husband mourns. Wife rejoices. Throws Mile High Mamas events while working with various brands. Husband celebrate 10 years of being cancer-free. Daughter starts kindergarten, son in preschool, Mama solo again on the mountain trails. Added kitty Remy to the Crazy Clan. One of five semi-finalists in Microsoft’s Office Winter Games contest.

I started the 2000s alone and ended them surrounded by love. This past decade has been a roller-coaster ride of joys and sorrows. Outlook for 2010 is bright.

What were some of your high and lowlights of the last decade?

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Family, Hadley, Humor, Jamie, Olympics, travel

Happy New Year and Christmas in Pictures

January 1, 2010 By

As you can see, my lil’ ol’ blog has had a makeover. We are still working out the bugs (“we” meaning poor Jamie who is supposed to be on vacation this week). Be sure to change your RSS feeds and bookmarks to www.crazybloggincanuck.com.

Our two-week-long Winter Break has been one of our most laid back ever and all this downtime has about killed me.

I don’t know why they call this a “break.” It is anything but for the parents.

We have tried to stay busy and went miniature golfing, watched movies, skied, bowled, shopped, read lots of new books, picnicked in the family room, hiked in the snow, had playdates, toured the Denver Art Museum, went go-carting, threw a New Year’s Eve party and traumatized The Cat. Daily.

Christmas itself was the most quiet I’ve ever had. With Jamie’s parents gone, we skied on Christmas Eve, played the bells and ate. His sister came over after we’d unwrapped our presents on Christmas. Bode’s favorite present was an Optimus Prime Transformer. Haddie’s was a live butterfly kit.

If her father insists upon having worms in our basement, it’s only natural his offspring would covet something like caterpillars.

I was delighted to receive some Vancouver Olympics gloves from my mom for good luck (official announcement is on January 14), a beautiful painting of Jesus in Jerusalem from my in-laws and a pair of Sanita Clogs.

Which are exponentially cooler than these beauties.

As for James, I gave him a milkshake maker to go with his old-fashioned soda fountain. I was most excited when his parents gave him a deluxe remote that combines the four remotes he has for his home theatre.

And which also means I’ll finally be able to turn the blasted thing on.

December’s highlights in pictures:

Gingerbread making with Aunt Lisa.


Haddie’s Rockin’ Rudolph Dance Recital.


She was only a half a beat behind everyone else, an improvement from her unscripted solo performance she performed when she was 3.

Eighteen giggling tweens crammed into our basement for a “Grinch Party.”


My failed attempts to photograph Hadley at our church Christmas party.




Which may or may not have lead to the threat, “So help me if you do that when you see Santa, you will not get any dessert or presents.”

Dessert + Santa = the way to every girl’s heart.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Be sure to weigh-in about your holidays.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Family, Hadley, holidays, Humor, Jamie

A Lesson in Parenting

December 18, 2009 By

I have received several inquiries about the outcome of the Microsoft Office Winter Games Contest. They still have not decided upon a winner and will publicly announce their choice on January 7. Fingers are still crossed several times over that I win and thanks again for your support!

In the interim, we are busy following all the Olympic hopefuls, implementing social media strategies for several Colorado and Utah ski resorts, and enrolling Haddie in skating lessons.

Oh, and Jamie and I have been practicing superior parenting strategies. To illustrate:

The Mother Teaching About Family Bonding

As Haddie and I were crossing the street, I told her to hold my hand.

“Why do we hold hands when crossing the street, Mommy?

Me: “So when we get hit we can go down together.”

The Father Expounding Upon Bad Words

Our neighbor Steve was hanging out at our house today. Jamie said something like:

“I’d kill for that. The whole thing is just stupid.”

Bode: “Daddy. Dat’s a BAD WORD.”

Steve: “What? Kill?”

Jamie: “No, killing is just fine. He’s talking about ‘stupid.”

The Children Demonstrating Our Superior Parenting Skills

We have had an unusual amount of snow in Colorado this fall. The kids and I had cabin fever so we hit the playground this afternoon. At one point, Hadley declared she wanted to race her 3-year-old brother. I approved but told her to be careful not to knock him over.

Not even 1 second into the race, she walloped him. He crumbled like a pathetic heap on the pavement.

“Hadley, what do you say to your poor little brother??!!!”

“Bode, YOU WERE IN MY WAY!”

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Family, Hadley, Humor, Jamie

Christmas Previews

December 15, 2009 By

It was March 2006 when I first made The Big Announcement at my MSN Spaces blog about our new addition to the family:

Jamie’s 300-pound baby.

(Note: Babywearing advocates wouldn’t want to get anywhere near this beast).

Almost four years later, a finally-finished basement, and the drama of scraping together enough funds to buy the counter top after our original granite contractor stole our money, our old-fashioned soda fountain is finished.


Couple that with Jamie’s 84-inch HDTV and I may never be able to drag him out of his Man Cave again.

===========================

Like many of you, we are in the throes of Christmas preparations. But unlike many of you, I am not stressed out in the least. In fact, this will be one of my least frenzied holidays because we aren’t throwing our annual Christmas Eve shindig due to Jamie’s parents recent move to Utah.

Being family-less and friendless has its advantages.

We’re starting a new tradition and are skiing Loveland on December 24th. We are also guilting Jamie’s sister into spending Christmas day with us. This process involves bribery because she’d rather sleep in than spend the morning with my sugar-induced children jumping all over her, slurring Santa praises.

I just can’t figure out the swingin’ single folks these days.

Something we will have in abundance is fine food. My Christmas baking has already been distributed.


On this year’s menu: gingerbread cookies, sugar cookies, pumpkin fudge, Almond Roca and whipped shortbread.

My beloved husband sampled all the spoils and offered his honest opinion.

“This is the best maple fudge I’ve ever tasted.”

“It’s pumpkin.”

I’m thinking the man should just stick to old-fashioned soda.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: holidays, Jamie, outdoors

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth a vasectomy

December 14, 2009 By

Warning to men everywhere: this post’s contents will make you extremely uncomfortable. Proceed with caution.

My husband Jamie underwent the “snip-snip” on Friday. We have two beautiful kids and had always planned to have three so did not take this decision lightly. But after a couple of failed attempts at getting pregnant and much prayer, we knew we were done. We both feel strongly we are to bring another child into our home under circumstances other than giving birth.

Can’t say I’ll miss it one bit.

Jamie sent me an email when he scheduled a consultation with the doctor and said “what a great sacrifice” this was for him.

I get it. Messing with Man’s Most Prized Possession is bound to cause extreme angst. But men somehow forget the 40 weeks of misery we undergo, only to be rewarded by pushing out a screaming watermelon. Follow that up with sleepless nights, exploding boobs and Jekll and Hyde hormones. Then, multiply that by multiple children.

I think it’s safe to say women have the far worse deal.

I would liken a vasectomy unto maybe 1 or 2 contractions.

When I explained this to Jamie, he agreed but asserted, “Yes, but you get a beautiful baby out of everything. I don’t get anything.”

And that is exactly why we’re doing it.

The night prior to the procedure, the phone rang and Jamie picked it up.

“Who was that, Jamie?”
“The doctor’s office reminding me about my appointment. Like a guy could forget something like that.”

The next day, I was the supportive wife and hung out in the waiting room. A mere half an hour later, he was done. I received the royal summons to go see him.

Not to belabor my point but did I mention the 13,440 hours of pregnancy I endured?

The nurse explained that tenderness and mild swelling are not unusual. Men are still considered fertile until two specimens have been evaluated, the first is to be brought in six weeks following the vasectomy. In order to flush out the old sperm, the man needs to have 15 err…”cleansing sessions” prior.

When the nurse told Jamie that, he asked “Can I get a doctor’s note about that for my wife?”

I’m guessing that’s all Jamie wants for Christmas.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, Jamie

Happy Birthday to the Lord of the Gourds!

December 9, 2009 By

It’s Jamie’s 39th birthday today.

If you’re looking for some sappy post about how wonderful, amazing and perfect the love of my life is, look elsewhere.

He is, after all, the man who ditched me post-childbirth because he was sicker than a dog.


OK, so maybe I might have said, “You’re useless to me. Go home and get better.”

His work, after all, was done after the “difficult” task of conception.

Almost seven years into our marriage, I am continually amazed and humbled to be married to such a great guy. In this tough economy, he launched his own web development company and works his butt off to make it profitable. He is the king of the one-liners and makes me laugh every day. He’s had more medical issues than Job and often lives in chronic pain but rarely complains. He is always loving and supportive of my dreams. He likes The Children when I do not. And most importantly, he makes the world a lot brighter just by living in it.

Even if it is a blinding shade of orange.

His college buddy Todd recently told me that Jamie has a heart of gold and that I am married to one of his favorite people in the world.

I couldn’t agree with him more.

Happy birthday to my very own Lord of the Gourds!

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, pumpkins

How a Preschooler Solved the World’s Relationship Problems

December 7, 2009 By

My 3-year-old son Bode has the answer to every single person’s relationship drama.

Whenever someone (OK, mostly his sister Hadley) ticks him off, like clockwork Bode chimes in: “I don’t wike dat.”

Which, in Bode speak, loosely means “GET THE CRAP OUT OF MY FACE AND STOP BUGGING ME.”

I really didn’t think anything of it until my parent-teacher conference with his preschool teachers. They mentioned they have been instructing the children how to voice their discontent instead of just physically lashing out. They said Bode in particular is very good about telling people exactly what he is thinking.

Not surprising with a mother like me.

“I don’t like that” has become a staple of our everyday life. My children and I were recently in Canada for 12 days, during which time my husband Jamie had some difficulty getting along with our new kitty.

And remembering to feed him. Remy the Fat Cat came out of the whole experience a few pounds lighter.

The crux of the problem, however, is that Remy is a snuggler. Jamie does not like anyone touching him while he sleeps. And evidently my dear husband also doesn’t like getting jumped on in the middle of the night.

At least not by the cat. He has been begging me to do it for years.

Jamie told me one night he got so fed up with Remy that he wouldn’t allow him to sleep in the bedroom. When I told the kids this, you’d think I had told them Daddy had roasted the cat like a pig on a spit. Bode prayed for “Daddy to say sorry to Remy” and that night, Bode gave him a piece of his mind when they talked on the phone.

I heard Jamie defending himself, explaining that Remy wakes him up by jumping on him in the middle of the night. Bode thoughtfully listened and the tone of the conversation changed.

“Daddy?”
“Yes, Bode?”
“Just tell Remy: ‘I DON’T WIKE DAT.’”

Dr. Phil in the making.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Humor, Jamie

As bad as it gets

November 10, 2009 By

Our church building is located on a large property with a beautiful grove of trees. People often hold wedding receptions there and church members are responsible for its maintenance. In the winter, we shovel. In the summer, we weed. And in the fall, we rake.

Leaves, in case you are not aware, are allegedly a great source of nutrients for some people’s pumpkin patches.

As we were leaving church on Sunday, the kids and I started walking to the car while Jamie made a beeline in the opposite direction. At first, I had no idea what he was doing.

And then I saw the bags of recently raked leaves in the garbage.

Me (beckoning across the parking lot): “Jamie, you are wearing your suit. Get out of that dumpster!!!!”

Friend Dawn who was walking by at the time: “Are things really that bad at home, Amber?”

Me: “You have no idea.”

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, pumpkins

The Crazy Crew

October 28, 2009 By

Amber
Shameless Columnist, Travel Writer and Mommy Blogger. Devoted Wife. Frazzled Mother.

Former Crazy Canuck Radio Personality, Prolific Publicist, Public Speaker. Defender of Truth.

Most likely to be found lost in the backcountry with her family.

Frequently has delusions of Superhero Grandeur.

Jamie

Hunky Hubby, Faithful Father, Outdoor Aficionado.

Web Design Business Owner, Entrepreneurial Genius.

King of the One-Liners. All around swell guy.

Obsessed with Growing The Great Pumpkin.


Hurricane Hadley
Gregarious, Fearless and Larger-than-life.

Loves Skating, Skiing, Drawing, Hiking, Swimming, Skiing and Humbling Parents.

Born 10 days early when her father promised to buy her a car on her 16th birthday if she was born that day.

Somehow controlled the elements even in the womb.

Colicky baby, spirited third grader.

There may be casualties.


Bode “Bubby”
First boy ever to love Wii and soccer..

First grader who is already showing his academic prowess. Is snuggly, sweet, and loving.

Except for when provoked by his sister.

Named after skiing legend Bode Miller and has taken to  skiing like a fish to water like Bode Miller to the slopes.

Parents already plotting his Olympic future.

Final photo: The Crazy Clan on a sleigh ride at Durango Mountain Resort. February, 2010.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Family, Hadley, Humor, Jamie

Peace, Be Still

October 22, 2009 By

When you are quarantined for weeks on end like us, you sometimes get a wee bit stir-crazy. One night, the kids were literally bouncing off the walls (and us) when Jamie attempted to calm them down.

“I am going to tell you a story about Jesus,” he announced.

Both kids immediately plunked themselves down beside him in a gesture no less miraculous than the story of the loaves and the fishes.

“Jesus was on a boat with his disciples and fell asleep. Suddenly, a great storm came and his scared disciples woke him up and said ‘Don’t you care that we’re going to die?’”

Both kids gazed at him in awe as if he were Jesus Himself.

“And Jesus arose and said to the sea, ‘Peace, be still.’ And do you know what? He calmed the seas.”

There was a long pause as the kids reflected upon the story and then in silent unison, they both leapt on top of Jamie and started take him down.

Jamie: [Authorititvely:] “Children: PEACE, BE STILL.”

No reaction whatsoever as their abuse continued.

Me: [Stating the obvious]: “I hate to say it but you’re no Jesus, Jamie.”

Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, Humor, Jamie
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