When a Mom is The Great Pumpkin world record holder

July 29, 2010 By

We interrupt our regularly-scheduled travelogues of our glorious trip to the San Juan Marriott in the Puerto Rico to bring you The Great Pumpkin updates.

For those new to this blog, my husband Jamie is O-B-S-E-S-S-E-D with growing The Great Pumpkin. Just the other night, I was reprimanded for running out of bleach. Now, if the dear man was waxing ambitious and helping with the laundry that would be one thing.

But the bleach is to help kill bacteria on The Great Pumpkin’s vines.

Don’t be shocked. I’ve become acclimated to compost tea, fish, seaweed and blood meal concoctions gurgling on my front porch.

And the latest measurements of the beast? Approximately 358 pounds with a 111″ circumference and it is gaining approximately 25 pounds per day.

The sport of giant pumpkin-growing (yes, they consider it a sport) is dominated by men but last year, Ohioan Christy Harp came out of left field to clinch the world record with a pumpkin that weighed 1,725 pounds.


She is doing amazing things for women’s libbers.

Soon thereafter, she announced she was pregnant and would not be defending her title. However, she has still continued to grow just for fun. Jamie sent me this little gem yesterday. Remember Anne Geddes’ famous baby pictures?


This is a giant pumpkin-grower’s version.


Pray for that child.

Comments temporarily closed due to lame Asian spammers.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, pumpkins

The Great Pumpkin Update

July 21, 2010 By

It’s the update you’ve all been waiting for: The Great Pumpkin’s growth.

Women have their monthly cycle to determine their mood swings. Jamie’s is the condition of his giant vegetable. A fungus is wreaking havoc on his beloved patch and the result has not been pretty.

For both the leaves and Jamie.

That said, the pumpkin still continues to put on about 25 pounds a day and it is taping out to weigh about 165 pounds.

I went to Jamie’s pumpkin blog with the intention to include a recent picture but he has not posted one for a while.

“So, what’s the deal? You’ve been tracking the growth on a spreadsheet but have not been publishing regular pictures,” I queried.

“I need to keep them (referring to his fellow growers and competition) worrying and guessing.”

“Guessing what? That a fungus has attacked your plant and you’re likely out of the running to get the state record?”

“Yes, but they don’t know that.”

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Jamie, pumpkins

The week of the family: Jamie

June 24, 2010 By

Between working, growing The Great Pumpkin and serving in the Bishopric, Jamie has been slaving around the clock. Last weekend, he took a break to have a fabulous weekend at play.

For Father’s Day, we grilled steaks and gave Jamie memorable presents such as the children’s book I Can Be Anything. Why would we do such a thing? The very first job it talks about is being a pumpkin grower.


If you could even consider that a job.

The kids and I made him a card listing our favorite things we like to do with him. Visiting the pumpkin patch, wrestling and playing games were favorites but Bode’s No. 1 choice?

“Taking a break with him.” (See previous post about his recent laziness phase.)

On Friday, we had a very refined dinner on the back patio at Paris on the Platte.

Or not.

We then did a walking tour of Commons Park, one of downtown Denver’s coolest areas. We cooled off with caramel popcorn ice cream and raced down the slide at Little Man Ice Cream.


Sometimes, pictures defy words.

We explored new trails along the Platte River, were puzzled at obtuse sculptures, marveled at the tree tightropers and rolled down a steep hill.

Saturday, we attended the Highlands Street Festival, a cornucopia of some of the cutest vendors and booths I have ever seen. I wore a new shirt with a big flower attached to it. As we prepared to leave, Jamie walked over to me and poked my new accessory.


“I just bought this. Don’t you love it?”
“It looks like a nylon is stuck to your shirt.”

For the Week of the Family’s final post, stay tuned for a big announcement of the newest member of our family!

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Colorado, Hadley, Humor, Jamie

Happy Father’s Day to the Men in My Life!

June 20, 2010 By

I was raised by an amazingly tolerant, patient and loving dad whose entire life has been an example of quiet service. He taught me to love the outdoors and gave me wings to fly.


I inherited a fun father-in-law who raised his son in righteousness, puts up with my wisecracks and wisely predicted Jamie would someday marry a Canadian.


I married a hilarious, kind, wise, doting man who is a great dad, hard-working provider and is beloved by everyone he encounters.

I am numbered among the blessed today.

Happy Father’s Day to dads everywhere!

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Jamie Tagged With:

Proof that the good Lord (or devil) is working against me

June 16, 2010 By

Last week, yet another gargantuan hail storm hit our house (go here to see last year’s massacre). I had numerous phone calls and emails from friends who were concerned to see if The Great Pumpkin survived.

This is evidence that he is making everyone as obsessed as he is.

We have two different patches because really, doesn’t everyone?

Jamie is growing his pumpkins on our neighbor’s lot behind our house. The kids’ pumpkin is located adjacent to our fence. Jamie spent umpteen hours protecting his pumpkins from potentially fatal storms by installing poles to hold the hail netting. Here is how they fared during the storm:

After the storm.


The hail netting held up and for the most part, his pumpkins were unscathed.

But the children’s pumpkin that he did not protect with hail netting?

Think drowned rat.

The vines will eventually bounce back but for now, there is mourning at the Johnson house.

Jamie continues to toil relentlessly in the patch and I continue to relentlessly mock him. Lest you think I am not supportive, welp, you would be only partially correct. I am supportive within reason. An hour in the patch a day is not a big deal. Sometimes he even spends two and I’m OK with that.

But entire weekends where you spend more time with the pumpkin than your family? A big deal.

Last week, Jamie was in the pumpkin patch with our neighbor and bishop. Jamie mentioned to him how I was giving him a hard time about the many hours he had just spent installing his hail netting.

As they were chatting, an airplane with a sky ad trailing behind circled overhead. They strained to read the message and Jamie joked, “Does it say anything about growing big pumpkins? That could be my sign.”

As the plane turned, the message (which was likely from the pothead mari*juana dispensaries that have taken over Denver) was revealed:

“Grow it up.”

Now, the argument is regarding from whom “The Sign” was given.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, pumpkins

Summer Lovin’ as The Pumpkin Widow

June 8, 2010 By

Our summer is off to a rip-roarin’ start!

On the first day of our vacation, we went to Lakecrest Park, a new-to-me wonderland where we climbed trees, explored trails, discovered 50 birds nests under a bridge, blew wishing flowers, had a picnic with good friends from church and fished for crawdads.

I just listed a whole bunch ‘o narratives. But this picture?


Defies description.

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How much is a good night’s sleep worth to you? I decided NOT $120, which is how much my prescription for cough medicine would have cost me. The doctor said I have a virus that is lasting as long as six weeks for many of her patients. I am 2.5 weeks into it.

Sleeplessness does have one advantage: I have been getting up before the crack of dawn to work out. On Thursday, I took my new road bike for a spin along some great river trails. At one point, I was led on a detour past a busy intersection and I blithely noted the Gunther Tooty “Diner” sign that only read “Die.”

Not even 30 seconds later as I was barreling down a hill, I hit a squirrel.

A sign?

No pun intended.

==================

On Monday, I went for an early-morning hike to Matthews Winters, cleaned my car, did laundry, mowed the lawn, hit the bank, post office, Target and Costco.

This whole summer “break” thing may just kill me.

Though I’ve stayed on top of messes piling up, I hadn’t deep-cleaned my car in months. I spent 1.5 hours just on the interior and after it was done, Hadley made the following observation:

“Wow, Mommy. It looks so nice in here! I think you should clean it like this every week!”

“I’ve got a better idea, Hadley. Why don’t you just stop throwing things on the floor so it will stay clean?”

“I like my idea better!”

=================

Jamie is heading to Scout camp tomorrow and between that, work and Bishopric responsibilities, I have been a single mom lately.

But his biggest time-sucker of all?

Hail netting.

I was initially supportive when he told me he was getting some specialty hail netting from Italy because I did not want to deal with last year’s hail massacre of the pumpkin patch. What I did not anticipate: that it would take ENTIRE weekends and evenings to get in place. And no, I am not exaggerating.

Jamie was in charge of FHE (Family Home Evening) on Monday and the lesson was on the 10 Commandments. He was stumped trying to explain to the kids, “Thou shalt have none other gods before me” so I helped him out with a little analogy.

Here’s a hint: It started with “P” and ended with “kin.”

It did not go over well.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, Humor, Jamie, pumpkins

A glorious, glorious spring in Denver (with a warning for summer)

May 21, 2010 By

So, we’ve been busy:

Getting drenched at our two-week-long soccer clinic. Hadley won the award for the most stretched-out pants.


It came in the form of a plumber’s crack.

Catching Fat Kitty in compro*mising positions.


Discovering a nest of baby robins and charting their daily growth…


…while trying to avoid getting pecked by protective Mama Robin.

Road-tripping to Glenwood Springs!


(Trip report forthcoming).

Hiking Lookout Mountain and getting an urgent phone call from your husband once you reach the summit that you needed to rush home ASAP. Not because one of the kids is dead or maimed but…


…so you can take care of your third child: The Great Pumpkin.

Impromptu evening play in the sprinklers with neighborhood besties.


Cuz 55-degree weather counts as downright balmy for these Colorado kids.

Finally having the courage to bike down The Big Hill to our soon-to-be-completed playground.


And smack-talking the neighborhood boys about how fast you did it. You know. Those same freaks of athletic nature who ditched the training wheels when they were 2.

Falling in love with Caleb at Field Day.


The same boy you said you would someday marry “because he’s a good listener.”

And running Mommy so ragged that she waved the white flag and exclaimed, “That’s it, I AM IN SERIOUS NEED OF A BREAK!”

And summer break is not the answer.

Now that school is winding down, what has been keeping you busy?

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, Jamie

Evidence I actually have three children

May 6, 2010 By

I have been working a lot with Hadley on reading and numbers lately. She has progressed leaps and bounds with the former but the latter?

Let’s just say I’ll never put her in charge of our finances.

The smartest girl in class is named Mia. Hadley divulged Mia’s smarts secret: “Do you know her mommy won’t let her play or watch TV until all her schoolwork is done?”

She sounded no less appalled than if she had revealed Mia was actually a teen-aged boy parading around as a kindergartner.

Hadley is a competitive little thing so we often talk about Mia and what it would take to get to be smart like her. Jamie joined in on the conversation once.

Hadley: “I think she practices reading for an hour every day.”
Me: “Well, that explains why she’s at least at a second grade reading level.”
Jamie (scoffing): “A second grade reading level? That’s not impressive. That’s what I’m at.”

=============================

I compiled a gift guide for Denver moms at Mile High Mamas last week. As I was going through my choices, many of my recommendations came from thoughtful and romantic things Jamie has done for me during our marriage. Feeling suddenly inadequate that I don’t do enough for him, I whipped up a batch of his favorite cookies. When he walked in the door, he exclaimed:

“Wow, buttterscotch oatmeal cookies?”

“Jamie, you do so much around here that this is just a simple thanks.”

“Yes! Just the other day I picked something up off the floor!”

=============================

There is no greater obsession in our home than Super Mario on our Nintendo Wii. If anyone has ever wondered if sibling rivalry is dead, they need to watch my kids duke it out. Evidently, the stakes are high because at one point, Hadley abruptly stopped the game and exasperatedly looked at her brother.

“Bode, I need you to put the Wii remote down, come over here, and visualize yourself winning.”

Nice to see all my sports psychology sessions are rubbing off on her.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Hadley, Humor, Jamie, Marriage

On-line love and the inappropriate grandma

May 4, 2010 By

I’m not usually one to do memes and it seemed like for a while, everyone was tagging everyone else. That said, Jess tagged me for the following questions and since I don’t have anything else going on (actually, I have too much, which is why it’s easier to do this), I’ll give it a shot.

Some of the questions are timely for Mother’s Day and the bumpy road to get there. Feel free to post these same questions on your blog or share any of your answers in the comments. I’d love to hear your stories!

1. If you could do anything different in your life…what would it be?

This is a good question and I honestly can’t think of anything. Of course, life is not perfect but in terms of the elements we can control in your life, we’re doing pretty everything the way we want.

Except for sleeping. That could always be better.

2. What has been the hardest part of growing older for you?

My body falling apart. I used to feel like I was invincible and could trail run for hours. These days with my rickety knee, I’m lucky to make it a mile.

That, and eating all this bran totally sucks. Oh wait, I’m still a few years away from that.

3. At what age/stage in life do you think it is inappropriate to flaunt what you got?

When you’re 85. Droopiness never was sexiness.

4. When you are wrong.. and you know it… do you just move on and forget about it.. or do you apologize and try to make amends..?

I usually will just suck it up and apologize. When it comes to Jamie, I’m generally in the wrong and eventually end up admitting it.

Except for when it comes to excessive time he spends with The Great Pumpkin. In those instances, I am always right.

5. What’s your favorite ice cream? Why?

My absolute favorite ice cream is chi chi coconut from My Favorite Ice Cream Shoppe in Calgary. That place is an institution and our summer evenings were spent there. They have an old-fashioned piano in the lobby and if you play for the crowd, you can get a free scoop. Even though I trained for eight years at the Royal Conservatory of Music, I never worked up the nerve to do it.

Evidently, I don’t value free ice cream enough.

Jamie, on the other hand, does not play the piano and would have done it in an instant. He has to have ice cream every day and it is the one thing that makes him come unglued if we run out. He claims his daily consumption is the reason he is able to keep his svelte figure.

I don’t like him, either.

6. Did you always know you would be where you are today in your life?

Nope, I never had a clear vision of where I wanted to end up. I knew I eventually wanted to get married but couldn’t even fathom having kids. I was always so career-oriented and never wanted be a SAHM. Now, it’s so much better than what I didn’t imagine.

7. How did you meet your spouse? Was it love at first sight?

I didn’t meet Jamie for a few months after we initially made contact. Like all good things in my life, I have the Internet to thank because we met on-line. And maybe, just maybe, we got engaged before we even met. So, in that instance it was love at first sight because, welp, I’d already committed to marrying the guy. (Read the sordid details here).

8. What would be your advice for a newlywed couple?

The best premarital advise we received was from Jamie’s fun-loving Aunt Kathy. For years, she had to remind her husband of every major milestone in their lives. One anniversary, she decided to not mention it and see if he remembered. Of course, he didn’t.

That brought out the flood gates and her anger was unleashed. Until she listened to a radio show that addressed this topic and posed the question: “Why do we test our significant others? Instead of having them prove their love, why can we just not tell them what we want and help them be successful?” This latter point has been the mantra of our marriage and the key in our communication efforts as we ensure both of our needs are met.

Another piece of advice: make sure there is full disclosure before marriage. The Great Pumpkin did not come with a disclosure statement.

9. What would be your advice for a first-time mom?

Just chill out and don’t second-guess your instincts. Everything is so overwhelming and you want to do everything just right. Don’t kill yourself in an effort to be the perfect mother. Oh, the stories that I could–and have–told on this blog.

10. Where do you see yourself in five years?

I’ll be 85 years old and inappropriately flaunting what I’ve got.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, Marriage

Little bit of this, a little bit of that

April 26, 2010 By

Posting has been light these days, as have my visits to other people’s blogs and I apologize. Life has been all-consuming and I feel like I haven’t fully caught up since returning from Spring Break in Utah a few weeks ago.

A few things that have been eating up our time:

Social media presentation. Jamie and I gave a 4-hour social media presentation to an insurance group on Thursday. I’ve been asked to speak on a number of panels (I’m doing another one for Colorado Healthcare Communicators this week) and have given one-on-one training sessions but we’ve never done of full-on presentation of this magnitude. What I learned: 1) Jamie looks hot in a suit and it’s a dream come true to run our own business together. 2) I know more than I thought. This rarely happens so it’s an unexpected surprise.

The death of the goat. Or rather, the goatee. When Jamie got called to the Bishopric at church a couple of weeks ago, he shaved it in an effort to look more clean-cut. I was the one who encouraged him to grow it after we first got married so I was in mourning to see it go. I filmed him as he shaved it off. And may have shed a tear…or twelve.

Preparing for our garage sale. OK, truth be told, I haven’t exactly gotten around to compiling everything and keep pushing back the date of the garage sale.

But I certainly spend a lot of time avoiding the entire thing.

Partying at Einstein Bros. Bagels. I threw a big mid-day meet-up for the Mile High Mamas on Friday. Bagels were eaten, conversations were had and the other patrons were surely ready to give us the boot. But one thing I already suspected was confirmed: my daughter and I share a love affair with carbs.

Being a mom. After almost six years as a mom, I finally feel like I’m achieving some semblance of balance in my life. It definitely helps that my kids are going through such agreeable stages. My relationship with Hadley has never been better, Bode is his same sweet self and I walk around with a goofy grin on my face because I’m just so happy. Life is full of ebbs and tides and I’m gladly riding high right now. Oh, and speaking of which….

Riding my new bike. OK, truth be told I haven’t done this as much as I would like due to getting sick. Then it snowed. And I’ve been really busy. But I was really excited to attend my much-anticipated bike clinic at Wheat Ridge Cyclery on Friday night.

Until I showed up and realized the bike clinic was on the previous Wednesday.

As my wise Aunt Sue has always told me: “Things can never be 100%, Amber. Never 100%.

This week, I have loads of playdates, our BFF’s birthday, two work-related events and a garage sale for which to prepare (yeah, right). What do you have on your plate?

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, Jamie
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