Good ’til the last drop (of 2010)

January 1, 2011 By

We arrived home Thursday after a frenzied Christmas vacation in Utah. Normally, we plan New Year’s Eve get togethers with our friends but this year we decided to lay low.

Waaaaay low.

I spent the day unpacking and duplicating Jamie’s sister’s glorious New Year’s Eve meal: Pork Tacos with Avocado Poblano Guacamole. I made the most amazing wassail ever and we topped off the evening with homemade chocolate chip crumbles, ice cream and dulce de leche. New Year’s morning, we had waffles with fresh blackberries and whipped cream.

Forget partying. New Year’s festivities should be all about the food.

We finally got our 84″-inch HDTV fixed ($350 later) so that evening we snuggled in the basement watching The Lord of the Rings. When we emerged, it was 8:30 p.m. and I announced, “Let’s watch the ball drop.”

Of course, it was too early but in my early-bird opinion, waiting ’til midnight is highly overrated. We found the countdown to 2010 on YouTube and did our own.

The kids didn’t know the difference.

Neither did I, really.

They went wild, chanting “Party Party Party!” as we jumped on the bed and did the bunny hop. At one point, Hadley interrupted our festivities and said, “Wait. This is a lame party. We don’t even have any friends here.”

And then she went back to her lame party.

To demonstrate just how lame it was, I even tried to spruce it up at dinnertime.

Me: “Should I set the dining room table with the nice China?”
Jamie: “No, I don’t want to have to do dishes. Let’s just do paper plates.”
Me: “You never do the dishes. I do.”
Jamie: “As always, I’m just looking out for you.”

Here’s to more glorious lameness in 2011.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: holidays, Humor, Jamie

It’s Christmas [Eve] in the [Salt Lake] City

December 25, 2010 By

Since we’ve been married, Jamie and I have alternated spending Christmases with my family and his. Unfortunately, plane tickets are $800 to the Motherland so we were relegated to spending them in Utah. In so doing, we missed my brother Pat’s epic Christmas sweater with battery-operated lights.

Oh wait. This is it.
Though they’re pretty much the same thing.

Jamie’s sister did a fantastic job hosting Christmas Eve. You know that one chick…what was her name again? Oh yeah: Martha Stewart. Well, she has nothing on Tammy Porter who got her start working at the global interior design firm, Gensler.

I’m willing to bet Martha didn’t dine on Pork Tacos with Avocado Poblano Guacamole, Mexican sodas and Sticky Pudding with luscious caramel sauce.

And let us not forgot our darling twin cousins. During our previous attempt at cousin pictures last summer, Bode let Ava do a face plant.

They fared much better this time around.

Back in Canada, Christmas Eve is THE MAIN EVENT with a compendium of appetizers, a gift exchange, the left-right game, playing the bells, a Christmas story and more irreverence than I care to admit.

The year bum darts was introduced was definitely a low point.

Wanting to integrate some of our family’s traditions, Jamie’s sweet sister suggested we do a gift-exchange game at the last minute, which sent Jamie and I scrambling to local stores for just the right gifts. We decided to do a repeat performance of the White Elephant Gift of the Year we introduced last week: a picture of The Great Pumpkin.

I explained the rules and because we had a much smaller group (eight people), I declared we would only do two trades per round. Well, bless their hearts, that crazy Johnson clan misunderstood and thought I meant a gift could only be traded twice and then it was off-limits.

Such corruption of my beloved games is equal unto my reaction when, shortly after Jamie and I got married, they declared the Rook is to be played high and not low.

I have not been able to play my beloved card game with them ever since.

Turns out the joke was on us because Jamie’s pumpkin picture was the very last picture to be chosen and in a twisted turn of fate, he was the one who ended up with it.

He said it was the very best gift exchange ever.


Merry Christmas!!!!!

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Family, holidays, Humor, Jamie, Utah

It’s Christmas Time in the [New York] City!

December 20, 2010 By

Even though I’m admittedly not a huge fan of NYC (especially after a not-so memorable trip last summer), I’ve dreamed of going there with Jamie at Christmastime.

Last week, I got my wish and we did a lot of things on my bucket list:

The tree at Rockefeller Plaza.

A late-night stop at Time Square.

This was fun though we were disappointed at only finding exorbitantly overpriced franchised restaurants there and so we made the long trek back to our hotel hoping to stop along the way. You know that claim New York is the city that never sleeps?

We couldn’t find anything open along that popular 2-mile stretch besides cheap pizza and sleazy bars.

We stopped by the home of the Rockettes. As an homage to them, we did our own Rockettes-esque kicks.

Just in case you didn’t notice, those are our feet at the bottom of the picture and yes, that is about as high as we could get them.

Don’t expect to see us performing at Radio City Music Hall anytime soon.

One afternoon, we went in search of chestnuts roasting on an open fire. After wandering around to no avail, we came upon 34th street, wherein I exclaimed, “WHERE IS MY MIRACLE?”

Turns out I found them there in front of the renowned Macy’s and we were delighted to try chestnuts for the first time.

One of our favorite movies is Serendipity starring John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale. In case you haven’t seen the romantic-comedy, it is set in NYC at Christmastime so upon Jamie’s recommendation, we recreated our own Serendipity date.

We went skating at Central Park.


OK, admittedly we didn’t actually go skating. It was a combination of my snobby Canadian skating roots where I’d skate for miles for free on frozen rivers and the fact we would have had to drop almost $40 to skate for a 1/2 hour.

We stopped in at the famous Waldorf Astoria.


We went to Serendipity, the charming restaurant the movie was based upon where we ate burgers drowned in delicious barbecue sauce and their signature frozen hot chocolate.


This was only a small sampling of what we crammed into our NYC stay but if I had to sum it all up, I’d say it was all about….

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, travel

He’s Still Got “It”

December 13, 2010 By

When one enters a new decade such as Jamie did when he turned 40 last week, there is always a bit of fear associated with it. Is he suddenly going to turn old and lame? Will he need bifocals in his 40s? What if he stops being funny and becomes a grumpy old man?

Turns out, I’m more at risk for all the above concerns because my beloved Jamie has still got it.

On his birthday, we went to a hip downtown restaurant, Zengo. If I were to have a last meal on earth, it would be their thai chicken empanadas with chile poblano rajasoaxaca cheese and mango-curry salsa.

Just thinking about it makes me want to die.

As we were driving to dinner, I babbled away like usual. The next day, I was taking the kids to see The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. We did a movie marathon over Thanksgiving where we watched the first two so we were ecstatic to take in the third installment on the big screen.

“Some critics are saying the third movie is the very best one,” I said excitedly.
“I heard that, too. Though I must say the seventh and final book is the very best.”
“How on earth do you know that?” I asked my non-reading husband.
“We read them in our sixth grade class.”
“I appreciate that but I can barely remember what I read last week, let alone what I read 30 years ago,” I retorted.
“When you’ve only read 12 books your entire life, the ones you did read are a standout.”

A few minutes later, I talked about my Christmas baking. For one of my menu items (eggnog snickerdoodles) I put just a touch too much nutmeg into the dough, almost overwhelming the flavor of the cookie.

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said that too much nutmeg can be a deal-breaker,” Jamie said emphatically.
Long pause.
“Really? How many times have you said that?” I queried.
“Umm…never.”

On another note, there is one gift Jamie requests year after year: a gift card for R.E.I. (a veritable Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium for outdoor lovers). He spends hours combing through their catalog and online. Only this year was different. He plopped down at my computer and typed in the URL for the North Face’s Kira Triclimate 3-in-1 Insulated Jacket.

“Amber, I want to buy you this jacket with my birthday money.”

My jaw dropped. His spoils didn’t even come close to covering the cost of a jacket of this grandeur and magnitude.

“I can’t accept that. This is your money. You need to buy something for you.”

“This is how I want to spend it. You need a jacket more than anything. “

He’s correct. I’ve had my current ski jacket for 12 years. Not only does it no longer fit but it’s literally falling apart at the seams. I just haven’t felt like I could justify spending the money to buy a new coat.

On Saturday, off to R.E.I. we went. As I modeled my new coat, he could not have looked happier than if he had bought it for himself. And I could not have felt more humbled and blessed to have married such a wonderful, giving man.

I think I’m going to like his 40s.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, Jamie

The Lord of the Gourds’ Surprise Birthday Bash

December 9, 2010 By

It’s a big week for birthdays: Jamie’s 40th birthday is TODAY! I’m ashamed to admit I wasn’t going to go above-and-behind for the celebration besides just a nice dinner. Between sickness, travels and our crazy work schedule (not to mention we had something going on every day this week), time is just not on our side.

Until I saw a Facebook conversation between him and my Aunt Sue wherein he stated something along the lines of, “I’m bracing myself for whatever Amber has planned for my birthday.”

CRAPCRAPCRAPCRAPCRAP!

And so you could say I was forced into action. Last week, I sent an Evite to some of our closest friends and neighbors to come for a casual, dessert-bar surprise party on Monday night. Sound pretty easy?

Then Jamie and I both got sick.

Remember my previous post wherein I revealed our house looked like a bomb went off?

On Monday, my friend Kristen watched Bode for a couple of hours so I could go back to bed and try to sleep off the plague. It worked and I was energized enough to disinfect the entire house, unpack, play with Bode and do five loads of laundry.

It was a modern-day miracle.

My cover for getting us out of the house that evening was I was tired and didn’t want to cook dinner so we headed over to our local Qdoba. I had stashed black streamers, balloons and the desserts in the laundry room so Jamie’s sister Lisa could set them up while we were gone. I had advised our friends not to park in front of the house and to arrive promptly at 6:45 p.m. for our 7 p.m. arrival.

And get this: everything went according to plan. I hadn’t told the children about it because, welp, let’s just say keeping secrets is not one of their strong points. When we arrived home I held the kids back so Jamie could go first but when he turned the knob, it was locked.

I don’t know about you but we don’t carry house keys. Ever. We always enter through the garage and I’ve gotta admit we don’t have a spare set so if that garage door gets locked, we’re outta luck.

Exasperated, Jamie turned to me and reprimanded, “WHY DID YOU LOCK THE DOOR??!!!”

At that very moment, one of our friends flung it open while everyone shouted, “SURPRISE.”

“Surprise” wasn’t even an appropriate word. Maybe “shock” is more befitting, or even “heart attack.”

The man is, after all, 40.



Happy Birthday to the Lord of the Gourds, from those who love him most.

Pumpkin beanie hat and all.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, Jamie

Lord of the Flies

December 6, 2010 By

First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAR DAD who is truly the most honorable, supportive, tolerant and kind man I know!!!


Picture: crab hunting with my brothers and Jamie in the Outer Banks last summer. Don’t judge them for their matching shirts.

Though I did.

============

It’s been a busy travel month for sure. Almost immediately after I left town on Friday, Jamie contracted Haddie’s bug and spent the weekend miserable in bed.

I started feeling it Saturday on Park City Mountain Resort’s slopes.

It wasn’t pretty for either of us, especially for me when I got stuck in Salt Lake City’s airport last night due to fog. This picture taken by my friend Barb when we FINALLY boarded a different airplane ’bout sums up how I was feeling.

She claimed she was going to sue Delta Airlines if I got her sick during our airport fiasco.

Usually when I return home from a trip, Jamie does an amazing job cleaning the house but I had low expectations this time around. I knew he was in survival mode and had to let the kids run wild watching movies and messing up the house while he rested.

For once, my expectations were met.

Thankfully, the kids were good sports and were great at entertaining themselves even though the house fell victim to their exploits. Or, as Jamie said,

“At first, they loved the total anarchy but after a while even that got old.”

Anyone want to guess how I’ll be spending my day?….

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, Jamie Tagged With:

The 12 hours before one of the most integral days in our lives…

December 2, 2010 By

…you know, that one day when things just have to go smoothly and you’ve done everything you can to make it happen:

  • The kids are in school and you have your wonderful friends picking them up for play dates afterward.

  • The house is immaculate.

  • You’ve been working around-the-clock so as to ensure you can block off the entire day for this important event.

  • You go to bed early so as to be well-rested in the morning.

Then–

  • You get minimal sleep because your son (who has not had night terrors in months) chooses that very night to have a recurrence.

  • You hear an urgent meowing in the morning and find out your husband accidentally locked Fat Kitty in the spare room. And the poor thing relieved himself on your favorite laptop bag & framed picture.

  • Your daughter, who had the stomach flu on Tuesday but had made a full recovery on Wednesday, woke up with stomach pain. And then diarrhea. After multiple accidents, your husband attempts to give her some medicine (and made the mistake to try to teach her to swallow a pill for the first time), which resulted in a freaked-out daughter who refused to go to school and an even more hysterical mother who packed an extra change of clothes and booted her out the door.

Ever had one of those days?!

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Hadley, Humor, Jamie

The Happiest of Thanksgivings, Denver Style

November 26, 2010 By

Any attempts to avoid the Thanksgiving frenzy were put to rest when Hadley requested we make pies (we opted for pumpkin and Dulce de Leche apple).

But when I appeased Hadley with her pies, I had to also cater to Bode and Jamie with our signature bacon-wrapped turkey.

Then I remembered Jamie’s favorite menu item: homemade rolls. Before I knew it, I was entrenched in a full-blown Thanksgiving meal that became a labor of love for these three blessed people.


I could not have been happier to do it.

But I did it my way by holding our feast on Wednesday night for the sole purpose of NOT having to spend the entire holiday in the kitchen. And you know what? It was my favorite Thanksgiving ever.

It started by Hadley making me breakfast in bed. We then snuggled up as a family in our king-sized bed to watch Chronicles of Narnia (a favorite after Bode’s inspired observations a couple of years ago).

We then devoured our Thanksgiving leftovers and hit the trail. The Turkey Trot trail, that is. It has been a tradition to drag our butterball butts on this hike for almost five years. I got a kick out of the accounts from my archives that started in 2005. Then came:

2006

2007


The kids in 2010.

My, what a difference a few years makes.

This was the first year both of the children did the steep hike on their own and I could not have been more proud. Though the sun was shining, the temperatures were below freezing but no one whined even once about the cold. Well, except for me.

In my defense, I was the only one without a jacket.



And then my new favorite family shot ever.


Well, minus the fact you can’t see Bode who was hidden in the shadows.

On the drive back, we blasted the heat and Christmas tunes. We devoured pies and hot chocolate at our house and upon the kids’ insistence, we setup our Christmas tree.

Every stage of my kids’ lives has been a blessing but I enjoy them more and more as they grow older. They are surpassing expectations, developing passions and giving me a glimpse of who they are becoming. As a mom, there is no greater joy.

Hadley is a delightful and hilarious kid but her spirited and stubborn disposition frustrates us to no end. On Thanksgiving, she simply shone. That morning as we snuggled in bed, we stretched our imaginations as we mulled over Imagine a Place, one of the most beautifully illustrated and lyrical children’s books I’ve ever seen.

Imagine a place…
…where castle and cloud
shift from square to square
and the world lies
in the winner’s hand.

That evening as Hadley and I decorated the tree, she acted so grownup as we talked about my childhood memories of Christmas in Canada. It was one of the first times I felt like I’ve truly had a discussion that connected with her on a deeper level. It made me so happy we are reaching a new stage where confidences can be shared.

She was as shocked as me.

“Gee, Mommy. I’m having a really good attitude today, aren’t I?”

It was quite the day for Thanksgiving miracles.

I hope you had a blessed one!

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Colorado, Family, Hadley, hiking, holidays, Humor, Jamie, outdoors

The Great Pumpkin’s Mushroom Kingdom

November 2, 2010 By

Halloween is almost anti-climactic after all the pumpkin patches, parties, weigh-offs and trunk-or-treats.

This year, the kids opted for a Mario Bros. theme. Bode’s hero is Mario and Hadley begged to be Yoshi, his sidekick dinosaur. Bode’s costume was easy: I went to the local thrift store where I found overalls and a red shirt. I bought the actual Mario hat from the Halloween store.

I’ll admit I wasn’t too thrilled about Yoshi so when I couldn’t find a costume in Hadley’s size, I proposed she dress up as Princess Peach, the damsel in distress in Mario’s ficticious Mushroom Kingdom.


Just pretend they are posing with The Great Mushroom.

If you know Hadley’s aversion to all things princess, you would realize what a risky move this was. Somewhere, at sometime, a princess did her wrong and these royal wenches represent all that is evil in the world.

Fortunately, due to her affection for Mario, she made the exception to be Peach.


Though she did have the pageant girl wave down at her school parade.

On Saturday, we had a busy day with soccer games and a playdate with Aunt Lisa while Jamie and I auditioned at the Marriage Ref. That night was the trunk-or-treat at the church. Knowing they would get loaded up on sugar, I fed them a healthy dinner. Thirty seconds prior, Bode professed to be starving to death and proceeded to eat half his weight in food.

“My tummy is sooooo full,” he moaned.

I thought he was exaggerating until it was time to go to the trunk-or-treat an hour later. He refused, with the same complaint.

“Bode, don’t you realize you’re going to go to a place where they are going to stuff you full of candy?” I queried.

“Don’t care. My tummy is too full.”

I don’t know how a kid like that came out of me.

He bounced back on Halloween and we joined our neighborhood revelries with a fire-truck-led procession, followed by trick-or-treating.




The local Medved dealership sponsored our parade and brought this Camero. It was love at first sight for the Lord of the Gourds.

Please don’t ask me how many times he made me retake this photo in order to best showcase his dream car.

As you can imagine, visiting the house of The Great Pumpkin makes us a VERY popular stop for picture-taking.

Next year, I’m charging a fee.

All these were fun times but my favorite moment came earlier that day when I attempted to clean up the house. As I swept the kitchen floor, the Lord of the Gourds commented:

“You’re the best looking thing with a broom today.”

‘Bout time someone recognized it.

Happy Halloween!

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, holidays, Humor, Jamie, pumpkins Tagged With:

On humiliating and being humiliated

October 25, 2010 By

When Jamie and I moved into our current ward six years ago, we were remiss to leave our former congregation. Within a few months, my now-friend Lisa invited us to join an informal dinner group with some other couples.

Six years later, we’re still going strong. After participating in numerous parties that have included a murder mystery, Christmases and BBQs, these people are among our dearest friends.
Though looking at these pictures of our latest dinner/Halloween party one might ask “why.”

There is absolutely no proof that Red Riding Hood’s grandma/wolf is also our bishop.


Though his/her/its smock is lovely.

Evidently good Mormon folk crank out convicts & witches.

But Lisa should have been arrested for letting her husband Phil wear these pants in public.


Lawyer-turned-rock-star or not.

In addition to killer finger food (not literally), our delightful hostess Wendy had a full line-up of games perfectly choreographed to entertain and humiliate.


No commentary is needed.


Of course, no Halloween party is complete without the mummy wrap. I did the honors to my beloved James (you may see his little green pumpkin stem shooting out the top).

But there was none more creative than what the Big, Bad Wolf did to Little Red Riding Hood: two rolls of toilet paper…on her head (she’s the far left).

Forget swallowing someone whole; suffocation is a far more optimal strategy.

Though neither Jamie or I were feeling well, we had a blast. Really, the only person who was a bit wary of the whole thing was Bode. When Jamie took him to pick up our babysitter, Bode had one request:

“Daddy, can you have Mommy take off her make-up when we get home?”
“Why, Bode? Does it scare you?”
“Yeah.”

I can’t imagine why.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: holidays, Humor, Jamie Tagged With:
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