Why there will be no pumpkin weigh-offs this year

September 1, 2011 By

Life has been rather silent in the pumpkin patch these days. The reason? There is great mourning in the land.

When Jamie first started his season with two seedlings in his makeshift growroom last spring, they were literally busting out of the pots within a week. Jamie planted them in the ground a bit early, covered them with a hoop house and warmed them with a heater.

That first night, they froze to death.

Since it was still early in the season, Jamie’s pumpkin buddies came to the rescue by giving him a couple of starter plants. He commenced the process again and before long, he was growing one of the biggest pumpkins in Colorado. “Ricky” (Gervais) was on-track to top 1,100 pounds, Jamie’s personal best.

Then August 19, 2011 happened: Jamie discovered a crack in the cavity.

Personally, I think it looks like a pumpkin butt crack picture.

This shot is much better:

An internal crack called a Dill Ring formed inside the pumpkin and intersected a deep rib and split the pumpkin open. This means it is now rotting out. Any pumpkin with a crack in it is automatically disqualified from the weigh-offs to prevent cheaters from pumping water into it to up the weight.

Personally, I’d go for lead.



That left Jamie’s only other pumpkin: Jerry (Seinfeld). From the start, good ol’ Jerry has grown a lot slower and Jamie didn’t have big hopes for it.

Then August 27, 2011 happened: Jamie discovered a crack, which means his pumpkin season is now over. Over the next couple of weeks, he’ll try to fill the cracks with sulphur and caulk to prolong the plants from rotting out before we can showcase them on our driveway this fall.

So, how am I feeling about it all?

I’ll be honest. When Jamie’s pumpkin got taken out from the tornado a couple of years ago, I wasn’t very sad. He was far enough into the season that he couldn’t start over but it was early enough that I could have my husband back for the rest of the summer.

This latest hit is the worst. As a pumpkin widow, this is the one time of the year I actually look forward to. September is replete with pumpkin festivals, our annual pumpkin party and the weigh-offs. Now, he’s put in the work the entire season and has absolutely nothing to show for it.

The other day in the car, I confessed:

“This whole season has been a roller-coaster ride with a big letdown. I have to admit I’m over it.”

Jamie: “You have to be ‘into it’ to be ‘over it.’”

Touché

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, pumpkins

(Non)Expert advice: Save the marriage & do not back-to-school shop together

August 15, 2011 By

If there is one thing I despise about back-to-school, it’s the shopping.

Now, let me be upfront here: If it isn’t Costco or Target and ends in ________ mall, I generally have to be dragged in kicking and screaming. For this reason, I left my kids’ school supply shopping until just a few days prior to the advent of school last year.

Here’s a little tip to the procrastinators out there: you will not win. The supplies will be depleted and you will have to go to several different stores instead of just one, augmenting an already stressful situation.

Note: if you somehow find school supply shopping cathartic, I will be happy expound upon the aberration of college-lined vs. wide-lined notebooks and my goose chase to find Elmer’s Glue-all and NOT their School Glue (which is 99 percent of what the store carried) while battling a battalion of frenzied moms.

This year, I recruited a reinforcement and brought my husband Jamie. I handed him the much shorter list for my kindergartener (about 12 items) while I tackled my 7-year-old daughter’s list (my sheet included the other grades’ items as well).

Things shockingly went smoothy until they didn’t.

Isn’t that how it always has to happen?….

We both finished in under 30 minutes and were on the way to the check-out when I looked down at my sheet, stopped and morosely declared “OHHH NOOOOO.”

As it turns out, I had collected everything a first grader needs for academic success but here’s the catch: my daughter was in first grade last year and is going into second grade. Who knew?

Evidently not her own mother.

The lists are, of course, completely different and so I trudged back to the school supply section, dumped my previous findings and started from scratch. I was glad my husband had at least figured it out.

Or so I thought.

When we reunited, he started questioning the veracity of the list.

“A clipboard? Why on earth would a kindergartener need a clipboard with his name on it?”

I tried to explain a few scenarios but he then threatened to boycott some other items as well.

“Jamie, if it’s on the list, we have to buy it. It’s like the commandments–you can’t pick-and-choose which ones to follow.”

He seemed to get it and grumpily purchased the good-for-nothing clipboard. When we arrived home, I started labeling the items with my children’s names and double-checked to ensure we bought everything.

He didn’t.

“Jamie, where are the 10 glue sticks?”
“We have a ton of glue sticks.”
“No, we don’t.”

In his defense, I could have appeared on an episode of Hoarders for my glue-stick fetish but that was a few years ago and rehab taught me only three glue sticks per household was necessary.

“What about snack-sized Ziploc bags, Jamie?”
“We have those as well.”
“We only have quart- and gallon-sized.”
“Same thing.”

And then came the colored pencils, which he also neglected to purchase. His defense?

“That was not on the list.”

“It was item No. 1.”

{Silence. Chirping crickets.}

Tomorrow, I’ll be returning to the store.

And next year, the back-to-school supply shopping battle will be waged alone.

Filed Under: Humor, Jamie

We interrupt these Great Canadian Road Trip Updates….

August 4, 2011 By

to announce we are home!!

Travel tales will continue next week but for now, we’re submerged in work catch-up, mile-high laundry, back-t0-school shopping and chilling out. A few days after coming home, Aunt Lisa invited Hadley to go camping for four days at Lake McConaughy, NE.

Confession: I just had to Google the name of the lake because I keep calling it Lake McNaughty.

This is the second time Hadley has left home without us this summer, the first being her solo flight to visit Grandma in Utah. Most sibling would be jealous but Bode is a homebody and quite content to hang out here. In fact, he is in his element without someone constantly bossing him around.

When Hadley was in Utah last month, Jamie, Bode and I were driving home from church and the ride was uncharacteristically quiet. Jamie broke the silence.

“So, Bode. Do you miss your sister?”

No response. Jamie tried again.

“It’s OK, Bode. You can be honest.”

Finally, his reluctant confession: “Not really, Daddy.”

Here’s to a few more peaceful days of being an only child.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Humor, Jamie

The Great Canadian Everything

August 2, 2011 By

Despite the fact I grew up in Calgary, there are still some unfamiliar things when I return home.

The Money

Canadian money is always an adjustment. I prefer our colorful bills to American green drabness (sorry, George Washington) but still cannot wrap my head around the Canadian Loonie, a gold-coloured (yep, correct spelling), bronze-plated, $1 coin introduced in 1987. If that didn’t weigh down my wallet enough, the government introduced the Toonie in 1996, a bi-metallic $2 coin.

Jamie and I had a run-in with the Loonie when we went grocery shopping at the Real Canadian Superstore (as opposed to the fake one), which was located next to Canadian Tire.

Just in case we’d forgotten we were in Canada.

In order to release the shopping carts, you need to insert a Loonie,which is returned to you after shopping. Problem is, Jamie and I spend a good five minutes trying…and failing to insert our money. Finally, a woman walked up to return her cart so I waved my Loonie like a madwoman proclaiming, “We’ll give you our Loonie for your cart.”

She denied us because she had a reusable cart coin that cost her $2 in place of the $1 Loonie every time she shops.

Anyone else as confused as we were?

Long story short, we finally got a cart (after losing face with my fellow Canucks) but went crazy at the grocery store. While the U.S. ethnic sections are preomindantly Mexican food, Canadian store aisles, delis and produce sections are stocked to the hilt with my favorites: Indian, Thai and Chinese foods. In the deli, we were got some sliced tandoori chicken for sandwiches. In the Thai section we got mango and also coconut/pineapple juice. In the bulk bins, we scored Canadian blue whales and wine gums.

Canadians have a few tasty tricks up their sleeves as well.

The People

During our long drive, a rock jumped up and chipped my windshield. I’ve been intending to get it filled and was thrilled when we pulled up to the Real Canadian Superstore and saw a small small canopy advertising rock-chip repairs while you shop.

What’re the odds of finding that? Being in Canada is like having your own genie.

We handed over our car before going to wrestle our shopping cart Loonie. Upon our return, our exceedingly enthusiastic repair guy pointed out his impeccable work, triumphantly claiming the round-shaped chips were his favorite.

As we were driving away, I commented, “I’ve never seen a rock-chip repair guy so passionate about what he does.”
“Of course he is,” Jamie retorted. “He’s chipper.”

The Differences Between Canada and the U.S.

My kids have been shuttled back and forth between Canada and the United States since they were born. Such exposure gives them unique insights into cultural idiosyncrasies between the two countries.

Take Hadley, for example. As we were wandering through a darling gift shop replete with Canadian goodies such as Mountie costumes and maple fudge at Heritage Park, my Aunt Sue told me Hadley was recently expounding upon the difference between the two countries.

I awaited profundities. Perhaps she would reference the flags, the anthems, Canada’s shining rivers, cool summers, friendly folks, democrats, Green Party and the Liberals.

Her observation?

“Canada doesn’t have Target!”

I’ve taught her well.

=========

P.S. Target recently announced 105 locationsthat will be opening in Canada. Hadley will soon be proven wrong.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Canada, Family travel, Hadley, Humor, Jamie, travel

How Jamie and I do long-distance romance

July 15, 2011 By

Me: “Did you hang up on me?”

Him: “No. I dropped the phone & nearly broke it.”

Me: “That’s better.”

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, Marriage

Date Night Mayhem

July 13, 2011 By

A couple of weeks ago, Jamie and I went on a date. He was recently complaining we’ve lost that lovin’ feeling and I told him toiling in the pumpkin patch and working 24-7 is not a woman’s idea of romance so we’ve recommitted to doing date night more than once a millennium.

Jamie’s sister Lisa generously offered to watch the kids (OK, we begged and pleaded) and we headed to the hills. Everyone has their ideal date night and ours does not consist of falling asleep to an opera but rather climbing up a mountain, marinating ourselves in sweat.

To each their own.

I’ve hiked pretty much every trail on the Front Range but when we were returning from Frisco last month, we did a detour off I-70 to Clear Creek Canyon where I spotted a trailhead 20 miles west of Golden: Mayhem Gulch. Not only was the name right but I was ecstatic to find a new-to-me trail.

Jamie is always game for an adventure and started our date night out right by giving me a lovely arrangement of flowers and a sweet, smoochy love note. We later went to El Dorado Mexican Restaurant in Golden where we had the best shrimp fajitas and chicken burrito ever (not exaggerating; the hint of cinnamon in the latter was moderately addictive).

But the hike up Mayhem Gulch was equally as wonderful. We opted for a moderately difficult 4.5-mile loop that showcased the very best of Centennial Cone’s foothills that were resplendent with bluebells and golden snapdragons. We talked about work, life, the kids and future opportunities. I was having a great time reconnecting with Jamie and thought he was, too until he took this portrait of the two of us.

Evidently he has something against short people.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Colorado, hiking, Humor, Jamie

And back to our regularly scheduled life

July 7, 2011 By

While fun, I’m glad our few weeks of notoriety from appearing on the premiere of NBC’s The Marriage Ref has wound down. There won’t be any NBC television commercials with our face on them, nor any more behind-the-scenes glimpses at a foreign world.

Normalcy is a welcome reprieve.

We’ve been having plenty of other reprieves. From Art and Sports Camps…



To two weeks of swim lessons where this little fish shined…

this little lion finally found courage in the water….


and we played every day after swim lessons with some of our dearest, bestest friends.

As of today, I am in Utah to attend Evo Conference, followed by an extended trip to Canada with the kids. Utah brings conflicted emotions of longing for my former home, memories, travel, exploration, freedom. I spent many fun, single years there dating, playing, laughing and learning and I feel torn by two worlds:

The whimsical, carefree days when I could jump in my Jeep and explore whatever mountain or desert that struck my fancy.

And my married life–Replete with responsibility, challenges, being needed, wanted and loved beyond measure.

Despite airing our giant pumpkin grievances to millions of people, I love married life. The laughing, the crying, the changing, the working, the growing, the bonding, the learning, the praying, the fighting and the fixing. This pumpkin widow will be missing her Pumpkin Man these next few weeks as we hit the road on our Great Canadian Road Trip but rest assured I’ll somehow have the time of my life doing it….

….with inevitable Murphy’s Law appearances along the way.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Jamie, Marriage

Our Marriage Ref Viewing Party

June 28, 2011 By

Jamie and I have had to stay hush-hush about The Marriage Ref’s outcome for the past six months.

Not terribly difficult when you were the losers. :)

But our mothers and friends have been stalking us for the insider scoop and I’m proud to say we stayed mum. One of the best things about watching it on Sunday night was seeing everyone’s’ reaction. We had about 30 friends crammed into our house for the big event and their suspense was palpable.

Jamie has an 84″ HDTV in our basement and it was such a trip to see ourselves “on the big screen.”



I followed the tweets for #TheMarriageRef and despite some grievances on formatting changes, most folks thought our episode was fun. The Pumpkin Man and Ricky Gervais were crowd favorites, as were my references to pumpkin p*orn and bigpumpkins.com (the site actually received so many hits it crashed).

When they were about to announce the winner, Jamie hammed it up for our friends and stood up to celebrate…until the deflating announcement.
There were groans, screams and proclamations of shock to learn that The Great Pumpkin had lost to a mother-in-law. We’ve long since recovered from the disappointment but admittedly that $25,000 would have come in handy given the flood of bills we’ve had to pay including Jamie’s heart surgery, my pending knee surgery, a replacement fridge, TV, BBQ, air conditioner and much more. When it rains, it pours.

But sadly, not in dollar bills.

The Marriage Ref won its time slot for NBC with 4.57 million viewers. That is a whole lot ‘o people who were privy to The Pumpkin Man’s virtues.


If you could call them that.

So, what’s next for us? My blogging friend Lizzy left this comment on my Facebook page:

I just can’t wait to see what you guys are doing NEXT year. First a little blog, then a mommy group blog, then being published on paper, then in the news, then the Olympics, then on a TV show with real movie stars… what next? You guys are awesome.

According to The Pumpkin Man: Sleep.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, Marriage Ref, pumpkins

Jamie’s Sub-par Father’s Day

June 19, 2011 By

This weekend, our family did a road-trip to the mountains where we biked and pigged out at the Frisco Barbecue Challenge (more on that later). We fed Jamie his favorite breakfast (gingerbread pancakes with fresh apple marmalade) in bed. We showered him with homemade gifts. The dads had delicious pies at church. Really, our Father’s Day weekend would have been perfect.

If only the children hadn’t been invited.

Child #1: The Firstborn’s Death Attempt

One of my favorite places on earth to bike is around Dillon Reservoir, 70 miles west of Denver. We parked our car at the Frisco Adventure Park and rode the roller-coaster trail around the perimeter of the lake. I lagged back with Bode as Hadley surged forward on her new mountain bike with Jamie closely tailing her.

As Bode and I rounded the corner, we happened upon a curious scene: Jamie splattered on the bridge, his face lobster-red. As it turns out, Jamie had called out to Hadley, “Watch for the people on the trail,” which she loosely translated to say, “STOP, NOW!”

She gets her listening skills from me.

So Hadley slammed on her brakes and Jamie, in an attempt to avoid slamming into her, veered to the side, slammed on his brake and flipped over the handlebars, injuring the entire right side of his body (he has the scrapes and bruises to prove it).

Sensitive soul that she is, Hadley started to laugh that she had never seen him wipe-out before but after taking one look at the steam coming out of his ears, decided sympathy was the answer.

And that is why she is still alive today.

Child #2: The Second Born’s Lack of Love

For Father’s Day, we dined in our formal dining room and ate grilled rib-eye steaks, scrumptious berries, roasted garlic potatoes, fresh Lion House rolls and a variety of Ben ‘n Jerry ice creams.

Me: “I think we should go around the table and say one thing we love about Daddy!”

Hadley: “I love that he takes care of us.”

Me: “How does he take care of you?”

Hadley: “He works really hard so we can have nice things.”

Me: “Bode, what are you grateful for?”

Bode: “I love that Daddy takes care of us.”

Hadley: “I already said that. You need to think of something else you love about Daddy.”

Insert long, pregnant pause with Bode deep in thought. Then finally:

Bode: “That’s all I got.”

Happy Father’s Day, indeed.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, Humor, Jamie

Bode’s Big Day and Jamie’s Bad Night

June 9, 2011 By

Bode had a big day a few weeks ago. It was his first field trip ever with his preschool class to see the musical Billy the Kid at Heritage Square. He was practically bouncing off the walls and was most excited about riding his first yellow school bus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, the anti-climax.

But miraculously, everything lived up to his expectations and he was elated when I retrieved him after school. To keep the party going, I took him to McDonald’s for lunch where he ran into a few of his preschool buddies and played with them for a couple of hours.

That night, he and Jamie went on a father-son camp-out with the Scouts from our ward. Last year when they did a similar getaway, Haddie and I had a Girl’s Night In and rented Beverly Hill Chihuahua. This year was one step up and we rented Scooby Doo: Camp Scare.

Next year, I hope to introduce her to chick flicks, ice cream and Kleenex for the ultimate in girl bonding.

Bode and Jamie had a blast. The church owns property at Lookout Mountain, just 20 minutes outside of town. It was the ultimate in male bonding as Bode joined in the fun and played baseball, capture the flag and tag.

“At one point, the firefighters showed up and Bode got to talk with them and the policeman!” Jamie told me when they arrived home.

I figured it had to be some impressive merit badge to get that many public servants to their campsite.

“Naw,” Jamie continued. “It’s because they started a fire in the enclosed fire pit and there is a ban because of all the wildfires Colorado has been having.”

Scouts may have honor but no one ever said they were smart.

“And another thing,” Jamie worried divulged. “I think Bode may be a bit light in his loafers.”
“Why would you say that?” I queried.

As Jamie tucked Bode into his sleeping bag that night, Bode said:

“This was fun tonight but do you know what is better than camping?”
“What, Bode?”
“Musicals.”

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Humor, Jamie
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