Our Time Capsule’s Slice of Life

March 1, 2016 By

I realized something this week: my blog is like a time capsule unto itself that captures so many wonderful memories through the years. What was I doing 9 years ago? I just clicked on my blog’s archives and found this gem when I was already lamenting the kids were growing up too fast during one of our most memorable hikes ever. If I was worried about their fleeting childhood then, how much worse is it now? And four years from now?

On Leap Day 2012, we pulled together a Time Capsule to be opened Leap Day 2016. And then I stashed it away and promptly forgot about it.  Thank goodness I purged our entire house in January and stumbled upon it. The kids have been waiting with great anticipation to see what was worthy of being stashed away for four years, practically a lifetime for them! It’s sobering to think when we open our next time capsule, Hadley will be turning 16 and almost driving and dating while Bode will be a cute pimply-faced 13-year-old. 

Our Time Capsule did not disappoint. It was a mix of mementos, fond memories, a glimpse of how much had changed (the kids) and what had barely changed at all (the parents).

A few gems:

Hadley was turning 7 while Bode was 5. There were beautiful drawings by Hadley and not-so beautiful scribbles by Bode:

There are a shot of our wonderful home.

Bode was a cute kindergartner (featured with his long-term sub Mrs. Cannon) and Hadley was soon turning 8 and had been invited to her first event for the Activity Day Girls at church. Attached in a scroll was this Princess Manifesto I’d been commissioned to write for the occasion.

We had just learned Hadley had been admitted to our Waldorf school the following year and we were filled with excitement. Too bad it didn’t last!

 

Our questionnaires were the most revealing.

Hadley loved Timbits, friends were Alex (current bestie) and Jaida, her favorite subject was art, she loved to swim, she had no idea what she wanted to be when she grew up and she was most looking forward to getting baptized. It was particularly fun to read her response to what she thought she’d be doing in four years. She wrote “getting ready to be in Young Women’s,” which is exactly what is happening! (When kids turn 12 in our church, it’s a big rite-of-passage as they leave the children’s organization and move to our awesome youth program).

Bode loved peanut butter, his friends were Nicky (current bestie), Sean, Tim and Andy. His favorite subject was computer lab and he loved to play soccer and Kirby on the Wii. He was most excited to go to Canada that summer, had no idea what he’d be doing in four years but one thing was for sure: he knew he wanted to be the ice cream man when he grew up. Jamie is still lamenting the shift in career ambitions.

Jamie and I basically haven’t changed at all in our interests and friends as Stacey, Jenn, Eva and Lisa remain my dearest today.For favorite foods I listed mangoes and avocados, both of which I had for lunch that day. The biggest shift was that I had just celebrated my 40th birthday at Evergreen Lake with oodles of friends and my first column had been printed in The Denver Post. Ahhhh, those were the glory years!

Jamie. Of course, pumpkins were a big theme even though he has not attained his goal of a state record. The good news: He predicted he’d be on life support in four years and we’re clearly not there. Though we’re a few weeks removed from his snowmobiling accident and he’s still limping around like he has one foot in the grave.

Some things never change. Bur I can’t wait to see what is revealed four years from now.

 

Filed Under: Bode, Family, Hadley, Humor

Sew Wrong

February 23, 2016 By

Hadley has taken an interest in sewing and asked to bring my sewing machine out of the catacombs. I warned her “that’s fine but you’re on your own,” which is a subtle way of saying I don’t even remember how to thread that thing.

Fortunately, there is a glorious thing called YouTube for tutorials. And her friend Alex who stayed with us a couple of nights while her parents were in Mexico and the girls cranked out this cute skirt our of an old bed skirt.

It’s not that my mom and grandma didn’t try to develop my domestic prowess. When most kids are getting sent to their rooms for bad behavior, this tomboy was sent to the kitchen. Suffice it to say, I spent most of my childhood there. Sewing is out of the question. A wave of nausea still comes over me whenever I get within 20 feet of a fabric store.

The last time I had that sewing machine out was when Hadley was a baby and my friend Sue came for a visit. I knew I had to solicit her help. She has been sewing for more than 20 years and actually enjoys it. Imagine that! One of the few things that helped Haddie jump from 2 hours to a whopping 4-hour stretch of sleep was this little miracle blanket called a sleep sack. A friend gave it to me when Haddie was six months old and it did wonders. The only problem is no one sells this little fleece sleeping bag and Haddie already established there waw NO WAY she is giving up her blankie for some new kid who’s going to draw Grandma’s attentions away from her.

Enter, Sue. I innocently brought up the subject shortly after her arrival and she looked at me suspiciously, “You don’t want me to sew it, do you?” “Ohhhhh no!” I generously told her I just needed “guidance.” Yeah, right.

And so I brought the sewing machine out of the catacombs and plugged it in. And then she warily watched me as I searched for the power button. When I finally located it after about five minutes, I did a victory dance. It was then that she knew just how bad off we were. And how long the process would inevitably take with my pedal to the metal so she reluctantly volunteered. Victory!

But then came regret. That’s all it took? Displaying my utter and complete incompetence upfront?

If only I’d figured out this strategy years ago; it would’ve saved me countless hours of futile Domestic-Diva-in-Training sessions.

 

Filed Under: Humor

Chicken in the Dominican Republic

February 5, 2016 By

Purging the house and my files has brought back so many wonderful memories. I was thrilled to find all my old columns when I was the Travel Editor at Sports Guide magazine, including the article I wrote on the Dominican Republic when I was invited on my very first “Media Familiarization Tour.” Basically, this is when publicists invite you to their destination, schmooze the heck out of ya and hope you do a good write-up on their venue. I know this process well because I did it both as a publicist (schmoozer) and as a journalist (schmoozee).

Welp this particular Fam Tour was hosted by the travel and tourism board of the Dominican Republic. Basically, there were about 10 of us on this adventure trek that took us all over the DR (read my story here). There was one other athletic journalist there who delved into the many activities with me but the rest were New Yorkers who didn’t have a clue. I was the youngest in the group and felt I was trying to set a credible reputation amongst all the other established journalists. Note: I said trying. Because it didn’t take me too long to fail.

We were traveling to the interior of the DR for a white-water rafting trip. The curvy mountain roads inspired much car sickness for the others so I sat alone on the back row of our van. Upon arriving at our destination, we ate lunch and then a few of us went back to the van to grab our swim suits. Because my gear was at the back of the van, I went first. I reached beneath my seat when something FLEW out, nearly attacking me. Instinct took over and in typical Amber fashion, I freaked out. And I mean freaked out by screaming, “It’s ALIVE!!!!!”

Now, I swear this is what I said. Witness accounts differ as they all attest I instead screached, “Run for your LIVES!” A miniscule difference in messaging, wouldn’t you agree? Regardless, I soon had the entire camp running from from some unforeseen beast that was going to devour us.

I should just end the story there and let you all think I was the hero and saved the day. But that would be a lie. When we crept back to the van, we found our van driver laughing hysterically, holding his pet chicken that he had stashed under my seat. Yes, a chicken. Unbelievable. I’m glad I didn’t speak Spanish because I figured out he wasn’t all too complimentary in his commentary.

So much for my “cred” among the other journalists. I’m just hoping that chicken we coincidentally had for dinner was in no way related….

Filed Under: Humor, travel

Fat Kitty Shaming

January 11, 2016 By

After selling her house last spring, Jamie’s sister Lisa has has the utmost privilege of intermittently residing with our family. Upon her return from Europe, we anticipated she’d be with us for a while as she looked for a job but last month, she announced she had found a new condo and would be moving out in January.  Renting a place before getting a job? Isn’t that like the chicken before the egg or the egg before the chicken?

I know she wants her space but it’s been nice to have her here, particularly because she does the dishes and Jamie does not. There was full disclosure about this before we got married and there are plenty of other things he does around the house but dishes and toilet-cleaning are not among them.

Spoken from the woman who has not paid bills or taxes since the day we married.

Thursday is my crazy day driving kids to piano and then leading Cub Scouts so she offered to take on dinner duty that night and it’s been a treat. For her final Thursday dinner, she went all out as a way of saying thanks: high-quality grilled Costco steaks, fresh shrimp, corn on the cob, mushrooms, and two different kinds of French fries with fry sauce. We were overwhelmed and over-filled from our feast.

As we wobbled upstairs, we heard Lisa’s outburst.

“Ohhhh noooooo!”

“What?”

“Fat Kitty pooped on my bed.”

Fat Kitty is pretty much the perfect cat–non-destructive, cuddly and easy going. But his Achilles heel is he occasionally poops out of his kitty littler box when he’s 1) ticked we’re leaving him on vacation. 2) mad about being stuck indoors all winter. 3) PMSing or 4) just because.  His target is usually a blanket or towel left on the ground but to poop on someone’s bed? A rarity and it was obvious he was making a statement. He was mad she’s leaving.

Over these past months, she has turned into his most trusted buddy. He monopolized her snuggly blanket so much that she had to bequeath it to him. And during our extended trip to Canada and frequent vacations, she was always there comforting him that it’s OK to be ditched.  Lisa is his mother from another mother.

Regardless of the pain he is feeling over her inevitable departure, we felt badly, especially since she had just cooked up this amazing meal. We demanded a Fat Kitty apology and he reluctantly gave one.

I don’t see steak in our future anytime soon.

Filed Under: Family, Humor

The joke’s on them

January 6, 2016 By

We had a really fantastic Christmas break. We were in Utah for a week and and the rest of the time was spent chilling or playing with friends at home.

Right before going back to school, Hadley went skating with her friend Alex and they came back to the house to hang out.  After a few hours, I knew they were up to something in Bode’s bedroom but she assured me it was all good. And it was. Bode’s room is The Pit of Despair and were it not for my hard-fast rule of no video games until your room is cleaned, it would be condemned.

Two hours later, the girls emerged triumphant. Not only had they completely cleaned it but they reorganized all the furniture–it has never looked better!
Hadley later confessed, “We originally wanted to play a trick on Bode and move his furniture around. But then Alex had the idea to reorganize his entire room.”

Next time, I hope they prank me.

Filed Under: Hadley, Humor

The FHE Musical Chairs Showdown of Death

January 4, 2016 By

My entire life, I have won the friend lottery. From childhood friends who are still dear to me to college to my mission, to my single years in Salt Lake City, I have been surrounded by the best of the best. When I married Jamie and moved to Denver, it took me a while to make meaningful connections. It wasn’t until we moved into our house and 2nd Ward about a year and a half later that it slowly started happening. My friend Lisa invited us to join a dinner group with a handful of other couples and from that group, some of my very best friends were made.

Nearly 13 years later, my kids have literally grown up with these families and I couldn’t love them any more if we were related. For Family Home Evening tonight, our friends the Carrolls invited us to the church for a game night. Between the five families, we had about 100 kids, resulting in a night of chaotic fun. We played musical chairs, live Clue (where we turned out the lights and went room-to-room avoiding the murderer before solving the crime), Apples to Apples and then the Carrolls gave a spiritual message about Samuel the Lamanite who stood on a wall to preach repentance to the Nephites as they tried to shoot him down…

…then the adults raced into the room and attacked the kids with marshmallows and a huuuuge, hilarious fight ensued.

Jamie tried complaining about getting pelted in the eye but I had no sympathy. Mostly because he’d (practically) drawn blood just an hour earlier.

Something you should know about Jamie: he’s uber competitive.

Something you should know about my brother Patrick: he’s uber competitive.

Put them together and the games begin. I started the evening off by sharing the story of the Musical Chair Showdown. Shortly after we were married, Jamie came home with me for a summer visit. Our ward was having a party so we joined in the fun that ended with a rousing game of musical chairs. There were children in the mix. Small children. But it didn’t matter to Pat and Jamie who were out for blood. They were the final two and as they gazed at each other with blood-thirsty eyes, I knew there would be trouble. The music started and they heatedly rounded the chairs. When it stopped, they both dove, with Jamie ending up triumphant. Or was he? Pat started prying him off the chair, they fell over during the scuffle, but Jamie would not budge. Even splayed on the grass, his butt and hands did not lose their grip.

It was then I knew I’d chosen a winner.

Fast-forward to the FHE Musical Chair Showdown. We had the adults in one area and kids 12 and under in another.

The music started and stopped.  With each round, our friends dropped off like flies but Jamie and Bode persisted, making it to the final round. Bode ended up losing in the finals but Jamie would not go down so easily against our friends’ 17-year-old son, Jordan, whose initial strategy was to walk around with the chair.

It didn’t last long. Just look into Jamie’s eyes.

And then the showdown truly began.

With Jamie ending up victorious.

It was then I knew I’d chosen a winner.

Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, LDS

Christmas in Utah

December 31, 2015 By

Greetings! We’re back from a fabulous Christmas in Utah with Jamie’s family. This is the first time all his siblings have been together in years and it was a cause for rejoicing (so was our dump of snow on Christmas Day, the ultimate present). Shockingly, I didn’t take many pictures and for the big mom fail, didn’t take even one as we opened our presents. The good news is we’ll all be together again for an official family reunion at YMCA of the Rockies Estes Park in February.

A few highlights:

*Lots of downtime, including Apples to Apples marathons and PBS Masterpiece’s Sherlock (we’re hooked after season 1).

*Food. Too much of it. Jamie’s mom Linda stuffed us to the brim, plus she is her ward’s Relief Society President, which means everyone and their dog brought holiday treats to her. And us.

*Food Con’t. Jamie’s parents treated us to a fabulous Christmas Eve Brunch at Grand America, followed by family pictures and touring the swanky hotel’s holiday window displays and life-sized gingerbread house.

Gingerbread House

*Edible cousins. Shamefully, I didn’t take enough pictures of the twins because my camera was directed at 11-month-old Darby the entire time. And who could blame me? Check him out delighting in the bouncy castle/ball pit Uncle Chris bought them.

*Temple Square. Really, is there any place on earth more magical and spiritual at Christmastime than thousands of lights on 35 acres? Our hot chocolate at Joseph Smith Memorial Building was pretty magical, too.

Hot chocolate warm-up

*BYU. We called it a recruiting trip because we’re trying to expose the kids to our Alma Mater. We went to the Norman Rockwell exhibit at the BYU Museum of Art, bought them BYU shirts, ate at the Creamery and had a lot of fun checking out the campus.

*Presents. This was the first year I found Christmas shopping depressing because the kids are mostly out of the toy phase and want technology (though I remain adamant about no phones before high school). Plus, our recent trip to Disneyland was our main present so our budget was tight and Santa was limited to giving them Brandon Mull books and games. Bode got a cool video drone from my parents and had a blast with a remote control helicopter from Jamie’s parents. Hadley got clothes, lots of drawing tools, arts, crafts and movies. I bought Jamie a new ice cream maker (it’s his obsession) while he purchased Big Agnes sleeping bags and pads for both of us.

But the ultimate present of all presents I gave to the man who hates to share his food? The Freeloader Fork, which expands up to two feet to give me easier access to his food across the table.

He obviously loved it.

What a blessed Christmas 2015 we had surrounded by family as we celebrated the birth of the Savior. We’re going to a New Year’s Eve party at the Carrolls tonight to ring in the New Year. I’m not sure what the future holds but I feel the winds of change blowing through for 2016. May it be a soft breeze and not a tornado.

Filed Under: holidays, Humor, Utah

Merry Christmas!

December 24, 2015 By

What to say about 2015? We had a cram-packed year of work, school, church, travel and pumpkins. Always, always pumpkins.

We have visited Mexico, Canada, Disneyland and Moab, as well as many Colorado camping and ski trips. Hadley and Bode competed in the Kids Adventure Games as they mountain biked, ziplined, Tyrolean Traversed, mudpitted, underground river hiked, slip ‘n slided, climbed and conquered their way through Vail.

This year has had a lot of highs and a few lows (usually health-related) but we feel blessed to be surrounded by beloved friends and family!

Moab, Utah

Banff National Park, Canada

Cancun dorks

Bode. (Age 9, fourth grade)

Lover of soccer, student council, Clash of Clans, Cub Scouts, making movies, skiing, piano, biking, pumpkins, birthdays at the Lakehouse and his buddies.  Nicknamed “the human calculator” by his peers due to his math aptitude.  Milestones: Spent an extra week with Grandma J. in Utah before flying home by himself. Begged to join the cross-country team at school, to which I responded, “you know that’s running, right?” As it turns out, he’s actually pretty speedy when he remembers not to knock his head around like a Bobblehead.

Avid4 Adventure Camp

Elbow Falls, Canada

Kids Adventure Games

Hadley. (Age 11, sixth grade)

Lover of carbs, drawing dragons, volleyball, Fablehaven books, cross-country, Minecraft, surfing at the Lakehouse, skiing, huge growth spurts, birthdays at  AAA Five-Diamond The Broadmoor, overnight horse camp at Camp Chief Ouray, Outdoor Lab class trip and sleeping in. Milestone: She trained and climbed her first 14er (14,000-foot peak) this summer, leaving her altitude-sick mom in her dust. Had the biggest transition of everyone as she transferred from her Waldorf back to our public school. Exceeded expectations, adapting quickly to new friends and more rigorous academics. Except math, which is a bit of a struggle. Good thing she has a human calculator for a brother.

Kids Adventure Games, Vail

Rigorous Ha Ling Summit, Canada

Amber

Lover of all things outdoors, skiing, biking, birthdays at luxury ski resorts and weekly hikes with friends. Still running MileHighMamas.com (Colorado’s social media community for moms), frequent contributor to 9New and area media outlets. Memorable solo press trips home to Canada and New Mexico. Cub Scout leader at church but does more wrangling than leading. Milestone: Survived solo 3,000-mile road-trip to Canada with the kids…and had the time of her life doing it. Traveled to Aspen for a girls’ weekend with friends for a 7-mile Mudderella competition. Also climbed a 14er with Hadley and Jamie and lived to tell the tale. And that story (almost) had a few expletives in it.

14,036 Mount Sherman

Winter media trip to Lake Louise, Canada

Aspen birthday

Jamie

Lover of nada. At least that was his response when I asked him for newsletter updates and he confessed, “I’ve got nothin’.” Works long hours building his successful web development business Pixo Web Design and Strategy while battling a bad back and rheumatism. Fun-loving father, awesome traveler and busy at church as Priest Adviser and Stake Technology Clerk. Had a disappointing year in the patch when the neighbor’s dog (literally) ate his pumpkin, followed by irrigation problems. Still managed to grow a beast but the man will not rest until he has a state record, which means neither will the rest of us. He’s especially not bitter about his December birthdays stuck at home with Fat Kitty.

Delicate Arch, Moab

Surfin’ Okanogan Lake, Canada

Fat Kitty

Still fat. Lover of Jamie.

Aunt Lisa

We’re including Jamie’s sister to our family newsletter because she is currently living with us. Sold her house in the spring, quit her job and went to Europe. Now that she’s back in Colorado, she says the highlight of her year is cohabitating with the coolest family on the planet. Well, that’s a loose translation of what she mumbles when we’re bouncing off the walls at 6:30 a.m. before school.

Lisa speaks her truth

We wish you and yours the happiest of Christmas seasons as we celebrate the birth of our Savior.

Love,

The Johnsons

Waterton Lakes National Park, Canada

Magical birthday at the Canada lakehouse


Filed Under: Bode, Family travel, Favorite Posts, Hadley, holidays, Humor, Jamie, LDS

The Christmas Piano Recital

December 18, 2015 By

Hadley spent the week prior at Outdoor Lab so didn’t practice.

And then realized the Monday before the Wednesday concert that she lost the music.

Then realized she forgot how to play it and I had to write in some of the notes.

And then pulled off a Christmas miracle by playing great.

See that chokehold? That’s motherhood personified.

Filed Under: Hadley, Humor

Updates from the underworld

December 4, 2015 By

Yes, we’re still alive Chez Johnson but just barely. After a busy Thanksgiving weekend, Jamie casually mentioned on Sunday that he had been having chest pain for three days. SAY WHAT? With a medical history like Jamie’s, you don’t delay on such matters so he went to the ER that afternoon while I fretted and worried at home.

Thankfully, it turned out he *just* had pneumonia. (Only at our house would that be considered a minor ailment). The weird thing is besides the chest pain, he didn’t have any other symptoms, juxtaposed against Hadley who couldn’t get off the bed for two weeks last year.

I’ve been sicker with a cold than he is with pneumonia but the cruelty of the matter is that I’ve been too sick to play but not sick enough to languish in bed watching ridiculous movies so I’ve had to work. And feel crappy. And wish I was either playing or wasting my day in bed. I don’t have any Christmas decorations up, which is a major trespass in my world (I usually have them before Thanksgiving but no later than the day after).

Tomorrow, we’re going through the temple with a dear friend who was baptized last year, followed by our Ward Christmas Party. Then next week is Jamie’s birthday. And our staff Christmas party. And Cub Scout caroling. And feeding the missionaries. And the kids’ piano recital. And volunteering at the school’s Santa Shop. I also somehow landed a huge campaign that will be all-consuming for seven days and then is taking me to Breckenridge at week’s end, followed by a weekend ski trip to Winter Park.

Maybe I’ll never get those Christmas decorations up.

In other news, Hadley just returned from Outdoor Lab, a sixth grade rite-of-passage where they spent the  week in the mountains playing in the snow and learning earth science, astronomy and wildlife biology. She has the time of her life every summer at week-long Camp Chief Ouray so I knew she’d have zero problems adjusting (as opposed to many of her  friends who’d never been away from home).

She was glowing when I picked her up, raving about everything from her day-long hike to her group’s failed skit to star-gazing to a fun electric guitar music performance to the team-building activities, to the cute high school counselors (OK, I added that in but I’m sure she thought it). She was completely in her element and already wants to return as an intern or counselor in high school. These pictures are from family friend Whitney, who was there as a counselor.

Cabin Juniper: B: Lexie, Morgan, Kasey, Lexie, Lily, Ellie. F: Charlie, Hadley, Jaeda, HS Leader Miss Acosta, Whitney, Alex, Lordan

Castle View

Outdoor Lab

Bunkhouse crazies

It brought back so many of my class trip memories. A world of possibilities was literally opened to me as we journeyed to the Netherlands, Luxembourg and Belgium as a teen.  In middle school, we flew out to Bamfield Marine Sciences Centre,  a world-class teaching and research facility located on the outer west coast of Vancouver Island where I fell in love with coastal marine sciences…and then proceeded to live out my days in land-locked mountainous states (go figure!)   Dear Mom and Dad: If you’re reading this, you totally rocked for giving me those opportunities and set the trajectory for a love of travel, adventure and learning for the rest of my life.

Alright, back to my current pitiable condition. I finally dragged myself out of the house today to run some errands.  I was in my foggy, semi-functional state at the grocery store check-out stand when the cashier reached into one of my recyclable bag and pulled out my sports bra. Which would have been super awkward had it not been a super cute Soybu one.

Maybe I should have spent the week in bed.

Filed Under: Hadley, Health, Humor
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