Busted: A visit with the cops

My brother Jade arrived with his boys late last night. We always look forward to their arrival with two exceptions: 1) We get booted from his dark, cool room in the basement for our stuffy. 2) Cousin Jaxson. Don’t get me wrong, we love cousin Jax but he’s a hilarious kid with a quirky, unfiltered personality and has about five things he’ll eat in this world.

My childhood bedroom is the loudest and stuffiest in the house so I heard them when they arrived around midnight.

Then, after a near sleepless night, I heard something that sounded suspiciously like the Wii next to my head. Sure enough, Cousin Jax (on East Coast Time) was up before the crack of dawn playing video games in the family room. So I did what any loving aunt would do: I gave him a hug and punched him in the face. :-)

The good news of my early wake-up? I went on a killer bike ride.

Fish Creek

Upon my return the whole clan was awake so the kids went on rides in my parent’s golf cart. An hour later, the cops pulled up to our house.

Oh, hell.

I was the only adult in the near vicinity so I had to deal with it. I saw them walk up the door and waited. And waited. A false alarm?

And then the knock came.

“Ma’am?”

“Yes.”

“We’ve had a complaint from a neighbor about a certain golf cart being driven by two boys through the gully.”

“The Gully” Venue of my childhood and now, the cops

They didn’t bother to ask if we had a golf cart; the evidence was parked right in front or our house. The delay at the door was probably due to them checking the engine to see if it was warm.

Truth be told, the cops were really cool about it and said they wouldn’t even be there had the neighbor not called to complain. Talk about a killjoy ruining the kids’ summer fun!

My brother’s observation when I posted our experience on Facebook?

We have been in Canada for 9 hours mostly sleeping and we already brought the cops here for driving the golf kart recklessly.

The coincidence? Just two days ago, I posted this picture on Instagram on Bode’s birthday talking about him narrowly missing running into our car while driving with Grandpa.

Turns out he’ll be needing that Get Out of Jail Free Pass sooner than later.

Kids Adventure Games: A Parent Butt-kicking to Remember

“I wish I could do that.”

Thus were my famous last words as my children competed in the Toyota Kids Adventure Games in Vail last summer. Now in its seventh season, these games are the only national outdoor adventure series just for kids and this year, the organizers experimented with a new race: the Family Adventure Quest. Held in the Village at Copper, this race paired one adult/teen and one child together to navigate an adventure course with zip lines, mud pits, slacklines, cargo nets, trekking, biking, water obstacles and a variety of other unique challenges.

Bode and I a.k.a. “Team Dominator” participated in the optional adventure-racing clinic the day prior where we fine-tuned our blow-dart, rock climbing, orienteering and mountain biking skills. The actual Quest featured two categories, a timed category for more competitive duos or a non-timed “fun run” for those looking to tackle the course without pressure. If I was a sane person, I would have signed up for the latter but the competitive waves worked better with our schedule so we found ourselves at the starting line mingling with seasoned adventure racing parents. “We’re going to have fun, right?” I reminded Bode but mostly I was trying to comfort myself that we were definitely not in it to win it.

C

Our bib number was called and we lined up with an 8-year-old cutie wearing a sparkly helmet while her dad looked like he stepped (no, ran) off the pages of Outside magazine. That was the last time I saw them as they sprinted from the starting line toward our first obstacle about .5-mile away: Blow Darts, the perfect way for non-seasoned adventure-racing parents to gain false confidence that they could conquer the course. We blew threw it with ease (pun intended), hiked uphill to the Cargo Net and carefully navigated the obstacle before racing to the Grease Wall.

glacierclimbI took one look and knew there was no way I would be able to climb it without help. I boosted Bode up, he hoisted his leg over and teetered on the top. “Good job, Son,” the race volunteer cheered. “Now, stay up there and help pull your mom to the top.” This was sure a flattering sentiment that my 9-year-old could hoist me to the top but reality bites. After several failed attempts at trying to pull myself up (it’s called the grease wall for a reason), I called it a no-go. Spoiler alert: This would not be my first #EpicFail that day.

We were starting to get into the rhythm of running together and next we tackled the Glacier Climb where we clung to a rope as we navigated a set of icy stairs up, across and down a massive “glacier” of snow (by far my favorite challenge).

From Ice Capades, we turned to mud where two slacklines were stretched parallel across a sizable pit.  Bode had a plan: “You lean over, grab my shoulders and I’ll grab your waist. I’ll tell you when to step.” Our synchronicity was downright inspiring as we flawlessly inched across the narrow webbing without landing in the muck.

tyrolean

For the first time, I realized I was having fun even though it had started to lightly rain. We grabbed our mountain bikes to tackle the next series of challenges: we biked up a muddy trail, Bode did an American Ninja-style obstacle course involving small tunnels (that only one teammate needed to complete), we showcased our orienteering skills that led us to a hidden marker, we maneuvered across a rope suspended in the trees on the Jungle Walk and catapulted water balloons, followed by more biking adventures.
If there was one obstacle I was worried about, it was the Tyrolean Traverse, which involved using a fixed line to cross from one point to another over the river. While wearing a harness, we clipped onto the rope to pull ourselves backwards. Bode had struggled with this challenge last year but I was pleasantly surprised when we both sailed across with ease, likely due to the slight decline in the angle.

By this point, I was feeling pretty indomitable. Sure, we weren’t winning and were getting passed up by stronger teams but were keeping a respectable pace and bonding.

Enter: The Darwin Dash.

A series of connecting foam pads were stretched out across West Lake and I blame the Spartan-racing father-son duo in front of us for my #EpicFail because they bounded across those things with the ease of kangaroos in the Outback. Bode went first, slipping, sliding and sometimes crawling but he eventually made it across. I gingerly stepped onto the mat, causing it to sink a couple of inches but I had no worries. Back in The Day, I took second place in my city’s long jump finals so I knew I had the fortitude to make the leap between pads. What I had not factored into the formula: everything else.darwin

In long jumping, you step as close to the takeoff board as you possibly can so that was the strategy I took and quickly realized the error of my ways when my foot sunk into the water, causing the rest of me to slip off. I desperately grasped the pads but I was waist-deep in water when I pulled myself out. Then panic set in: my cell phone was in my pocket. Though I had wisely left my backpack on dry land, I had forgotten about my phone. A spectator on the shore told me to toss it over to him to see if he could salvage it but I was rattled. Already down on my hands and knees, I was advised to crawl across.

That strategy worked poorly and I narrowly made it across to the second pad. I guardedly stood up, like a baby learning to walk, and attempted another leap but my water-logged shoes slipped off the edge and I landed squarely and completely in the dunk.

I was done. Bummed by my failure that resulted in the demise of my phone (and all our pictures from the race), I swam to shore where I met my sympathetic and sweet teammate.

“Don’t worry, Mom. That was the last obstacle. Now we run to the finish line.”

My drowned rat appearance wasn’t quite the triumphant finish I had envisioned but in the end, it didn’t matter. Participating in the Quest with my son is one memory we’ll never forget as we learned to work together on building confidence, teamwork, communication and, most importantly, having fun.

And I can’t wait to do the Kids Adventure Games’ Family Adventure Quest again next year.

Be sure to checkout my kids’ adventures last year and the fun video we pulled together here

The Raging of the Bull

It’s been more than a year since I first saw the Apex Field House in Arvada advertise Bubble Soccer and I’ve since dreamed of playing it with Bode’s friends for his (early) birthday. After all, what could be more fun for a group of soccer-loving boys than to wear an over-sized inflatable suit and be encouraged to knock your buddies over?

The game itself is a cross between soccer and zorbing, a sport where an individual rolls down the side of a hill in a giant plastic orb. The main objective in bubble soccer is to bump, kick and score your way to your opponent’s net.

Now, lest you think this was a big Sumo wrestling free-for-all, let me assure you that is not the case comes later. Apex Center staffer Whitney started by explaining the rules that included the guideline: ”You can bump players but be careful not to make ‘illegal’ contact – which is hitting from behind, or against the wall (boarding).” She demonstrated how to slide the bubble over the boys’ heads, adjust the straps, grab the handles and GO!

Whitney threw the soccer ball in the air and the boys fearlessly waddled/rushed to the center of the field in an attempt to kick the ball. Truthfully, it took them a few minutes to get their balance and the strategy behind the game but once they figured it out, there was a lot of laughter, hilarious bumps and rolls and a couple of kids who got lodged upside down in the amazingly impact-absorbing globes.bubble1sm

 

My son has some friends who play competitive soccer and others who don’t play at all but everyone had a blast–those bubble suits are the great equalizer. There’s nothing like becoming a human wrecking ball to create memories to last a lifetime.

Sumo Showdown

After a sweaty and fun 50 minutes, Whitney gathered us together at center court for a Sumo Showdown to end our one-hour session. The boys faced off two at a time with the objective to push each other out of the circle.  In their bubble suits. And thankfully without thongs.

sumosmThey implemented a few different strategies that involved hitting each other straight-on, running away or trying to trip up their competition but there was none more nefarious that my dear husband Jamie. When I innocently challenged him to a duel, I expected a good-natured bump fest.

What I got: a raging bull with blood-thirsty eyes wrapped up in an over-sized bubble suit. With nostrils flaring, Jamie charged me like I was his dobladore on the streets of Pamplona’s old quarter. He didn’t just knock me over, he gored my bubble with such force that I not only fell flat on my back but he literally knocked my shoe off.

“What the?” I slowly staggered to my feet and before I could find a defensible position, he was back to finish me off, shoeless and all. This time, I didn’t get up.

“Why didn’t you stop the first time?” I demanded.

“You weren’t knocked out of the ring. I had unfinished business.”  Bull-Man did his victory lap playing to the cheers of the crowd.

I later shared the story with friends on social media, ending my tale with the hashtag #GuessWhoIsSleepingOnTheCouchTonight, to which my friend Paul retorted, “At least he’ll have his bubble suit to keep him warm.”

Hear, hear.

Where the deer, antelope and reindeer play

The bad: Someone stole our For Sale sign in broad daylight yesterday.

The good: At least they took a flyer.

And didn’t move our reindeer into a compromising position like they did the last time we were vandalized.

Lovin’ it as a “Ritz-Kid”

I wanted to do something special for Hadley’s 12th birthday. Not only will she be moving and starting at a new middle school, but she is leaving our children’s organization at church and entering “Young Women.” She’s at such a tender, transitional age that I wanted to celebrate the beautiful young lady she is becoming.  There was no better way to do it than by  surprising her with her first real spa experience at the Ritz-Carlton Denver, which recently introduced an array of services crafted just for kids and teens.

Upon arrival, Hadley was instructed to change into a robe and slippers. The locker room facilities are only available to ages 18 and older so she got ready in the bathroom and waited for her appointment in the cozy lounge. As she leaned back on the luxurious beige couch sampling chocolate chips, infused water and dried bananas, she mused:

spaday1sm

“Can we do this every day?”
“You haven’t done anything yet.”
“All I need is to sit in this waiting area and I’ll be happy.”

Attention to all parents with hormonal teens: this is all they need!

Her first treatment was the Teen Facial. Specially crafted for teenagers, this cleansing facial helps analyze any concerns with your developing teen’s skin with organic products used to add extra sensitivity protection. I hunkered down in the corner of the dimly-lit room for the duration of the 45-minute treatment trying to stifle my laughter. My girl was in her element as she was swept and blown away in her ultimate experience of relaxation, renewal, and refreshment (if you’ve ever had a facial, you know).

While she was still relaxing on her massage table, I asked what she thought of her first facial.

“I feel heavy,” she groggily announced.
“Heavy? Do you mean from all the blankets?”
“No, heavy like gravity is pulling me down telling me not to move ever again.”

From there, she entered the world of light, The Spa at The Ritz-Carlton’s bright salon, where had the Berries and Bliss Manicure Pedicure. Starting with a warm Butter Brulee Milk soak, she then had her toes and nails rejuvenated with a fresh coat of polish, concluding with a Strawberry Smash Creme application.

As Hadley nibbled on her brownie pops with ganache and fresh berries from ELWAY’S Downtown, the hotel’s signature steak house, she declared it a memorable birthday surprise.

The Spa at The Ritz-Carlton sure does a warm welcome to womanhood.

The Sonic Guys

I’m not sure when the tradition started but Jamie has been going to lunch with our neighbor Darrin for a number of years when I’m sure the deep mysteries of the kingdom are discussed.

One day as they were leaving, our neighbor Angella observed “do you know who you remind me of? The two goofy guys in the car in the Sonic commercials.”

And so what did those goofy guys do? They went to Sonic for lunch this week.

  And judging by Sonic’s blooper reel, Angella pretty much nailed her observation.

A Few Weeks (from Hell) in the Life of Fat Kitty

An Open Letter from Fat Kitty Voicing His Displeasure About Getting Booted During Our House’s Multiple Showings

One day I was snuggling up to my human friends. It was snowy and cold when Human Mother told Human Sister to take me across the street to Grandma Jean’s house.

I don’t like field trips. The only time I like to leave is when I sneak away and I never go far.

The Human Family left me with this stranger with only my blanket and food.

Grandma Jean has two cats. They cornered and sniffed me.

I do not like to be sniffed. Warning: Do not go anywhere near my butt.

I hid under Grandma Jean’s bed for the entire two hours.

When Human Mother and Father came to get me, I would not move for The Betrayers. Betrayer #1 took the broom and poked me until I came out.

That was Day From Hell #1.

The next Day From Hell was even worse because hell was moving.

I think it was called a car and I was in it.

The humans took me to their friend’s fancy house to lock me in their laundry room while they were out of town.

They had a key and the security code but not the instructions how to do it.

The security alarm sounded.

I freaked out and kindly requested to go back to Grandma Jean’s with the butt-sniffing cats.

The cops came.

Human Father held up his arms in the air, holding the key as evidence they were not burglars

The police did not understand my distress signal I sent revealing they are, in actuality, cat burglars.

We drove home and I went to another neighbor’s where I’ve spent lots of time the last few weeks.

I sit on the stairs glaring at the door until my humans come get me.

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, SELL YOUR HOUSE AND STOP REHOMING YOUR CAT.

The End.

Love,

Fat Kitty

The Not-so Fun Run

(Bode at the Fun Run)

We’re on the homestretch for school, which wraps next week. Which means we’ve been cramming in parties, recitals and so many events.

The kids participated in our school’s fun run where they run as many laps as they can, raising money. The sixth graders were paired with the kindergartners. Hadley saw our cute neighbor boy Dylan and decided to help him out.

“He started out really really fast…and then he kept going. In the end, he beat me by two laps.”

“Wait. Are you telling me, you got BEATEN BY A KINDERGARTNER?”

“He says he’s the fastest kid in the class.”

You know you’re out of shape when…

Bike to School Day, Denver Style!

I grew up biking to my elementary school and junior high and it’s full of the wonderful memories you’d expect. Friends meeting at my house. Riding together. Using the crossing guard across Acadia Drive. Freedom, independence.

I wish my kids were raised the same way but they’re not. Our house is far enough away that it’s just not convenient to bike to school and there’s a pretty major road to cross without adequate sidewalks on the other side.

Plus, we have a nice bus that picks them up.

Plus, the only other time we biked to school when the kids were much younger, it was a bit of a disaster when Hadley forgot her backpack, we needed to go back home, start over and the whole three-mile ride took us about a half hour. And I won’t mention the ride home up up up the big hill leading to our house.

When the kids excitedly told me about Bike to School day, I was game and told them I’d make a big breakfast. But as the consummate party planner, it can never end there. “What if I invited our neighbors the Kings, Scultzs and Rays over and we then biked together?” And so Bike to School Day turned into a big ‘ol neighborhood pancake breakfast.

Because apparently I’ll take any excuse to throw a party. And a special shout-out to Angella for cooking up the equivalent of a hog.

As as biked, we collected friends along the way. The kids raced at top speeds and I found myself trying to keep up while keeping an eye on my friends’ boys who were going a bit slower.

And who couuld blame them. We had to course-correct the kids twice and the second time, they took the wrong bridge so we slugged through the grass at Stenger Soccer Complex.

We arrived early at school, high-fiving Principal Martin. As we locked everything up, it was so much fun to see all the kids arriving on bikes. That is one of the things I love about Vanderhoof Elementary School and our community. When you plan an event, people show up in droves. 

The weather was so gorgeous, I couldn’t resist going on a two-hour ride of my own along the Ralston Creek Trail to Tucker Lake.

My love runs deep for this place we’ve been blessed to call home.

During breakfast, one of my neighbors raved, “This is so much fun! We need to make this a tradition!”

[Insert elephant in the room who is ruining everything by moving.]

Here’s for our best ever first (and last) annual Bike to School Day.

Bears Today, Webelos Tomorrow

Bode continues to love Cub Scouts and why wouldn’t he? The boy has the best leader ever (ME!) and it’s been fun to see him thrive. This is the first time I’ve taught him in a formal setting and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it–he’s fun and silly when appropriate but also a tremendous leader and sets the tone when it’s time to buckle down and work. He made me super proud to be his mom.

We’ve had a great group of boys who were not without their challenges but overall it’s been a great time. And it will be even greater to be released when we move. :-) A few of our recent adventures:

Hiking Ralston Creek

Majestic View Nature Center

Last week at our Pack meeting,  Bode was presented with his Bear award. A parent needs to go up there in order to be “pinned.” I’ve done it the last two years when he earned his Wolf and Bobcat so I suggested Jamie take a turn.

“No way, that’s a mother thing.”

“It is not. It’s your turn to go up there. How about we rock-paper-scissors over it?”

Now, something you should know about this challenge is I win almost every time, likely due to my stealth psychotic psychic skills.

Jamie lost.

And yes, we are the worst parents ever.

Congratulations on earning your Bear, Bode!