Halloween partying, popularity, horror & my insanity

October 31, 2011 By

Halloween Partying

I did double-duty at the school on Friday that started with the costume parade and class parties.
I’ll have better pictures of the kiddos later but we opted on a dinosaur costume for Bode and Hadley went as the White Witch (Narnia is her favorite movie).

Jamie would like me to add he was not a part of the dinosaur choice because he said it was too “cutesy.”

I say what is a KINDERGARTNER if not cute?!

My horror

As I was waiting for the kids’ costume parade in the gym, I struck up a conversation to the gal next to me whom I swear I’ve never seen before. A few minutes into talking, she mentioned her twins–one boy and one girl.

And then it slowly started coming to me. You know the one: the dreadful feeling when you realize you somehow know that person but had forgotten them. I tried to cover my tracks by saying, “Wait a minute. You live in my neighborhood and our kids were at the same bus stop last year.” Nice.

But it got worse. The woman knew everything about me. “I saw you on The Marriage Ref and you totally should have won etc. etc. etc.”

My bad memory and Jamie’s pumpkin are ruining my life.

Norm

And the most popular kid in second grade is…

Bode.

You know. My kindergartner.

Going to school with that kid is like going to school with Norm from Cheers. His besties in kindergarten adore him and after volunteering in Haddie’s class, he and I eat in the lunchroom with her. This time, I kid you not, the second grade boys fought over who got to sit with him. Then, afterward, they begged me to let him stay and play Yoshi on the playground. As they were lining up, they insisted Bode give them all high-fives.

I guess sometimes, nice guys do finish first.

My Insanity

My friend posted a fabulous tutorial on how to make Halloween cake pops. If you’ve never heard of them, allow me to enlighten you: these little cakes on a stick are nothing short of moist and amazing (this, from a non-cake eater). And so I thought they’d be fun to make for the kids’ Halloween party.

There was nothing fun about making them.

Really, it was my fault. Between the kids’ two classes, there were 50 pops. And then my ward’s trunk-or-treat was that night and I’d signed up to bring a treat. Add in the women I visit teach and I was well over a hundred.

And so I made three different cakes: red velvet, vanilla and spice and spent the entire day slaving in the kitchen. I’m not exaggerating: THESE LITTLE GHOSTS TOOK ME SEVEN HOURS TO MAKE.
The positive: They were met with many rave reviews.
The negative: Some kids took them but didn’t bother eating them. I wanted to grab their little sugar-stuffed cheeks and scream,”DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG THOSE TOOK ME TO MAKE?”

Perhaps becoming emotionally invested in a treat is dangerous on many levels.

After spending seven hours on my still-recovering knee, I could barely walk. But the caveat came when I was carrying the laundry down the stairs later that day. Workers had been there cleaning our carpet and the floors were still damp. I slipped. I slammed. I slid. I threw out my back and injured my arm.

I’m going as myself for Halloween this year.

Because that is scary enough.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, holidays, Humor Tagged With:

Bode’s competition for the “Sweetest Kid on the Block”

October 24, 2011 By

Bode has a lot of great qualities but what I value most in him is he is just a good, sweet, kind-hearted soul. In fact, when I picked him up from a recent playdate, my neighbor observed, “Bode is the nicest kid on the block.”

He (obviously) doesn’t get it from me.

Part of being a nice kid is he has rarely has meltdowns and he gets along with everyone. I can put him in any situation, even with the socially-backward or aggressive types, and he will befriend them while being a force for good.

We have four hours until Hadley gets home so we try to go on an adventure every day. On Friday, we biked around Lake Arbor.
We stopped at the local playground and Bode played with a cute boy a couple of years younger than him. At one point, I overheard their conversation.

Bode: “I am Bode. What’s your name?”
Kid: “My name is Brandon. But they call me ‘Sweetie Pie.’”

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Humor

On character building

October 18, 2011 By

I’m still alive but am taking a much-needed blogging break. In the interim, a glimpse at a conversation we had en route to the temple last weekend.

Me: I noticed last week just how many wrinkles I’m getting these days.

Jamie: That’s OK. It adds character.

{Long pause}

Jamie: And that’s just what you need–more character.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, Jamie

The Day Jerry Rice Jr. Got Taken Down

October 10, 2011 By

I have another busy week and am just not feeling motivated to write so blog postings might be sparse this week. However, I have several posts in my “drafts” folder I never published so here’s one of them about Bode’s near-death experience late last summer…..

We’re going on our seventh year of being in our dinner group with friends from church. We’ve experienced everything from the humiliation of Halloween to when Groucho and Marilyn did murder. Last month, the festivities sunk to a new level.

Usually, our dinners just involve couples but a couple of times a year, we bring the kids together for a big ol’ party–no small undertaking because the six couples have 24 kids between them.

And yes, we are the underachievers in the group.

The first of those kids was college-bound so we planned a final picnic at a park near our house. It was a fun evening of good friends and fun as the kids played on the nearby playground until after dark. After dinner, we opted for a friendly game of kickball in the neighboring field.

Only it wasn’t quite so friendly.

You see, some of these people are competitors and make me look like Pollyanna comparatively. Bode was the youngest out of all the kids by two years and certainly the most overzealous, thrilled to catch the ball and run with it.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him he wasn’t Jerry Rice.

It all started going downhill when Hadley’s friend Alex went up to “bat.” You see, headstrong Alex and I have history. She talks smack, I dish it back. I once sang, “Girl, you’re amazing” to her at the top of my lungs in the grocery store because it’s her goal to be on America’s Got Talent and I was just showing her what it takes.

OK, so maybe I just wanted to embarrass her.

Anyway, back to kickball. Alex looked at me with her little beady eyes and I knew she was mine. The ball was rolled, she kicked it and it soared straight toward me. I leaped, caught it and she was out. In one gratifying moment, it was me vs. Alex and for once, I won.

And then her family cried foul. “She’s just a little girl!!!!” and revenge was sworn.

Problem is it wasn’t against me but against Jerry Rice Jr. The next time sweet Bode was up to bat, he kicked the ball. As he started to race to first base, Alex’s brothers–allegedly upstanding young men, Eagle Scouts and BYU-bound–nailed sweet Bode with the ball. H-A-R-D.

These photographs are not of The Incident, which means there was more than one because photos don’t lie. Brother #1:Brother #2:
As the Evil Ones rejoiced after Bode’s forcible take-out, their Head Evil One (their father, Phil), said, “Thank your Mommy for that, Bode.”

He came over to me and said in the most innocent voice, “Thank you for dat, Mommy!!”

Unfortunately for them, unforgiving Mommy is already plotting their take-down.

:-)

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Humor

Marriage: The “Worse” Part of the “Better”

October 7, 2011 By


Me: “You seem less stressed today. Are you finally getting caught back up on work after being in the hospital last week?”

Jamie: “Doing much better. I only have two people yelling at me right now.”

Me: (At the top of my lungs): “HONEYYYYYYYYYY!”

Jamie: “Better make that three.”

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, Jamie

The pumpkin weigh-off’s shocking results!

October 6, 2011 By

It was a small miracle Jamie was able to take his pumpkin Ricky (named in honor of Ricky Gervais) to the Jared’s Nursery weigh-off after he discovered a crack a few weeks prior. For weeks, he caulked it and though he was not able to officially enter his pumpkin, Ricky made it to the weigh-off.

And he was the prettiest pumpkin there.

Yes, I just referred to an inanimate object as a “he.”

The kids and I always have a blast getting spooked in the Ghoul Galleria, jumping in the bouncy castle, playing in the maze, doing face-painting, balloon animals and marveling at the over-sized gourds.

Yep, that’s a pear behind Bode.

This year, the kids’ pumpkin was a lot smaller so we had low expectations. In fact, Jamie wasn’t the only grower who had a rough year–most of them lost at least one of their pumpkins. Denver had a really wet spring and a super hot August, resulting in a lot of pumpkins rotting out. There were no records and a lot of grown men inwardly crying.

It wasn’t pretty.

The kids won the children’s competition with their 146.5-pound pumpkin. Their father couldn’t have been more proud. Their mother, on the other hand, was mortified when another child took their pumpkin to the scale and Bode joked, “That’s too little!”

Once again, they won the blue ribbon and…(wait for it)….a bag of fertilizer.

I informed Jamie I’m overseeing the prizes for the children’s competition next year.

As for Jamie? He was shocked and delighted with his result: his heaviest pumpkin ever!
The scale says 926 pounds but it was actually 924.5 pounds. Cheater had his hand on the pumpkin.

That’s sure a heavy hand.

There was only one pumpkin that was larger at the weigh-off and that grower was from Wyoming. Jamie had the biggest pumpkin in Colorado that day and Ricky would have assuredly been over 1,000 pounds if it hadn’t cracked. Jamie’s goal is to break 1,000 pounds so that means we’re in it for at least another year.

Who am I kidding? He’s in it for life.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, Humor, Jamie, pumpkins

At Long Last: The 3rd Annual Pumpkin Par-tay!

October 5, 2011 By

Three years ago, we instituted our First Annual Pumpkin Par-tay. Admittedly, it was a ruse to get people to help lift the pumpkin but it has grown from there.

Both the size of the pumpkin and the parties.

Since Jamie loves big pumpkins and I love to eat all-things-pumpkin, we decided to make it a pumpkin potluck and ask our guests to bring some pumpkin-inspired dishes.

Now, there are varying degrees of commitment to the cause. Some planned their dishes out several weeks in advance and it showed with delicious offerings such as pumpkin caramels, pumpkin bundt cake, pepita (pumpkin seed) salsa, mini-pumpkin pies, pumpkin chili, pumpkin empanadas (my offering) and more.

Others call the day of the party complaining they can’t find canned pumpkin anywhere and bring brownies. And then a few call a half-hour before and say, “Hey, I misplaced my invite. Is that pumpkin party of yours today?”

Regardless, it always comes together in a delicious and fun way.

Bode took on the important role of tour guide and directed people to our backyard.


Of course, The Pumpkin Man was our local celebrity.
Last year, my bestie Tina busted out with a killer pumpkin hat Jamie made famous on The Marriage Ref.

This year, she gifted him some ultra-cool pumpkin glasses.
To think she almost didn’t make it because she somehow didn’t receive an invite (apologies to any of my other regulars who befell the same fate).

Of course, everyone comes to pose with The Great Pumpkin.


And marvel.
But the real attraction was the official vine-cutting. Many people have asked me how we transport the pumpkin to the weigh-off. We use a forklift but you first need to put lifting straps around it (not an easy process).
It’s also a good excuse to get a nice butt shot of your husband.

Then, attach the lifting straps to the chain on the forklift.
Then you watch a grown-man pray that the bottom of the pumpkin hasn’t rotted out completely (if you will recall, it cracked a few weeks ago). All was well.

Except for the fact Jamie’s body turned into a pumpkin. Nice legs, dude.

For the second year in a row, our neighbor Andy was the forklift driver.

When it was over, he was heavily perspiring. “Dude, that was the most stressful thing, ever!”

Then they loaded it onto a trailer. And no, I did not approve of Jamie graffiting the back window of my vehicle with that saying.


See that kid in the orange shirt? That’s our neighbor Luke who kept shouting out, “PUMPKIN PINATA” and swinging his baseball bat at the air.

I think he was kidding but his murder would have been no joke.

After that, the kids cut their pumpkin off the vine.

And (let’s count ‘em): SIX guys carried the pumpkin to the front porch.

I mention the number of men because the next morning, Jamie and I (TWO mere mortals) carried it out to the car. By ourselves. With my sore knee.

One of the many sacrifices of a pumpkin widow.

Tune in tomorrow for details of the weigh-off!

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, pumpkins

Copper Mountain and My Ride of Death

October 4, 2011 By

Missed yesterday’s post? Be sure to read Part I.

Admittedly, my reason for wanting to go to Copper Mountain in the off-season is because I have been dying to bike the portion of the Ten Mile Recreational Pathway that runs from Copper Mountain down to Frisco (about 13 miles round-trip.)

This extensive network of trails in Summit County is among my favorite in Colorado. A few years back, I biked with the kids from Frisco along the reservoir to Lake Dillon (one of my favorite days ever). Another time, I biked from Dillon up to Keystone and also we did Frisco to Breckenridge.

All that remains are for me to do Copper Mountain to Frisco and then Copper Mountain up Vail Pass, the latter of which is a 1,000-foot climb.

It’s no wonder I saved the best (or rather, worst) for last.

But on Saturday, I was determined to bike to Frisco and so I woke up at 6 a.m. It was still pitch-black outside.

I dozed until 6:30 a.m. It was barely starting to light up.

I fell back asleep hard, awaking at 7 a.m. I tried to talk myself out of going and stay snuggled up to Jamie but I had come on this trip for the express purpose of biking the trail. All other portions have been glorious and why should this one be any different?

Turns out, it was. Different, that is. As in bad-different.

It wasn’t the actual trail that was bad. In fact, a beautiful smattering of lemon-lime trees lined the path and the moderate decline to Frisco should have been a breeze.

But it was awful for two reasons: the weather and my bike.

Daytime temperatures were 60 degrees but nighttime hovered around freezing and that’s what it was when I started out. I had only worn a light fleece and Capri biking shorts and cannot ever remember being so cold on a bike path.

But I wouldn’t, I couldn’t turn back. For me, the only thing worse than quitting is having unfinished business and so I pressed onward, slowly.

The sluggish pace was due to a problem I am admitting publicly for the first time: I have an aversion to pumping tires. I’ve always felt this way and if you factor in my bike’s presta valve (that requires an adapter to pump), I avoid it at all costs.

That morning when I started out, my tires weren’t firm but still rideable. By the end, they were nearly flat.

Have you ever biked 13 miles in freezing temperatures with near-flat tires? It wasn’t pretty.I couldn’t even fake a smile here.

But I did it and now the only portion that remains is climbing from Copper Mountain to the top of Vail Pass.

Lesson learned: Wear winter clothes…and fully pumped tires.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: biking, Colorado, Family travel, Humor

The reality behind Colorado mountain scenery

October 2, 2011 By

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.
~Albert Camus


That’s as poetic as you’re going to get from me.

At the very moment I took this picture at a pit stop en route to Copper Mountain, Bode was peeing on a nearby bush and Hadley was puking on another.

Just keeping it real, people.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Colorado, Family travel, Hadley, Humor

Let the (Pumpkin) Games Begin!

September 23, 2011 By

This is THE weekend Chez Johnson. Tonight is the ceremonial vine-cutting party where we will devour all things pumpkin.

Jamie insisted on putting the “As Seen on TV” logo on the invitation.

Because he’s prideful like that.

And Saturday is The Great Pumpkin weigh-off at Jared’s Nursery in Littleton! In addition to pumpkin growers who are out of their gourds over-sized gourds, there will be a kid’s costume parade, dog costume contest, pumpkin drop, chili cook-off, free straw maze, bouncy castle, petting zoo, Galleria of Ghouls and much more. Details at JaredsGarden.com.

Lest you’re confused as to why and how we’re still participating in the weigh-off after the pumpkin’s demise, Jamie has been fastidiously calking the crack. Though he cannot officially enter “Ricky” in the weigh-off, his fingers are crossed it will hold together long enough to get an official weight.

Here’s the latest shot of the pumpkin if you want to wager your own guess. Jamie had our neighbors pose because our kids are getting too big and he wants to make the pumpkin appear larger than it actually is.

Because he’s prideful like that.

Wish him luck!

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, pumpkins
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