The Boy Conspiracy

January 24, 2012 By

Haddie is in the middle of what we hope will be her final round of swim lessons before she tries swim team. The schedule is later than I would like and we don’t arrive home until 6:30 p.m.

Our family thinks they are going to die if we don’t eat by 6 p.m. Anyone else seeing a problem here?

Though Jamie is great in the kitchen, I do 99% percent of the cooking and I’m hesitant to ask him for help because he’s so darn busy. But one night, I didn’t have a chance to prepare anything so asked him if he and Bode could be in charge of warming up leftovers so dinner would be ready when we walked in the door.

They both agreed and I was charmed to arrive home to both boys in aprons.

They even had flour on their faces and apparently had been working hard.

Or not.

There in the middle of the kitchen table was a pizza that looked suspiciously like it was purchased from Domino’s.

“Where did you buy the pizza?”
“We made that pizza. What do you think we’ve been doing the past hour?”
“Bode, be honest with Mommy. Did you make that pizza?”
“Yes, what Daddy said. We’ve been working hard!”

Gotta give the boys credit: they stuck to their story and I almost started believing them until I found the pizza box outside in the garbage.

Here’s a tip for the boy conspiracy for next time: destroy all evidence.

And do Pizza Hut next time.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Humor, Jamie

On Raising Ying and Yang

January 20, 2012 By

I couldn’t have had two more different kids if I tried. Where Bode is easy-going, Hadley is bossy. Where Bode can’t draw a picture to save his soul, Hadley is already a gifted little artist. Where Hadley can barely count to 100, Bode is doing equations in his head.

Opposites.

Over the past couple of months their differences have come into play, starting with their report cards. Bode excelled in math and reading and squeaked by in the arts. Hadley was just the opposite. Bode loves any sport with a ball. Hadley’s affinity is toward solo activities like skiing, hiking and mountain biking.

And then there is swimming.

Haddie is a fish in the water. Dear Bode is a beached whale. In November, we took swim lessons and their progress reports were very telling. Hadley skipped an entire level and will now be among the youngest kids in the very highest class. She even asked me if she could go swim laps.

After asking her what the heck that meant, I had an all-important question:

WHY?!

Then there is Bode. He flunked his Trout class but I’m comforted that this is his first time flunking that particular level and he only fell short on two skills: doing the front stroke and chicken-airplane-soldier unassisted.

I can’t do ‘em either.

We had a sordid history with Minnows, the previous class. The entire premise of Minnows is to dunk your head, something Bode refused to do for the first four years of his life. He failed that class two years in a row and I had lost hope until I bought a private swim lesson for him at a silent auction. The wonderful instructor gave him the confidence he needed and I excitedly enrolled him in Minnows for the third time.

He tried his best, he really did, but that teen-aged instructor ended up flunking him again for a really silly reason.

I’m not proud of what unfolded after that but he was so proud of his efforts and I just couldn’t damage the kid’s ego even more so I told him he passed the class.

I don’t regret doing it. He was en par skill-wise with his classmates in the next level and he’s doing much better in the water, His problem is he is my offspring and though he’ll dunk and is learning to do the front crawl without assistance, when he comes up for air, he looks like Fat Kitty clawing to get out of the bathtub.

It ain’t pretty. But we’ll keep trying.

And just thank our lucky stars he’s got other sports to fall back on.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, Humor

In life, there are winners and there are losers

January 19, 2012 By

Hadley is getting cocky about her artistic prowess and who can blame her? She can out-draw me anyday.

So, when she started taunting she could draw a better peacock, I challenged her to a peacock dual. Mine:
And I’m pretty darn proud of it because I was sorely tempted to do a Google image search. I mean, what colors are peacocks really? How many feet do they have?

Then Hadley’s:
Actually, this isn’t her best one. As an overachiever, she made two drawings and gave the better one to her teacher. Basically, she blew me out of the water.

Of course, I wanted to cover my bases in our little dual.

Me: “If I win, you owe me a back massage.”
Her: “OK, what if I win?”
Me: “You still owe me a back massage.”
Her: “MOMMMMMY!”
Me: “Look at it this way: It’s a win-win situation.”

For me, at least.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Hadley, Humor

A true story of honesty

January 10, 2012 By

Dad: Well, your mom and I were thinking about coming to Denver next year for Christmas.
Me: That would be great.
Dad: Especially after we got uninvited this year and you decided to go to Utah.
Me: What are you talking about? You were never uninvited to come visit us!
Dad: We weren’t?
Me: No. We never invited you in the first place!

As a side note, I did tell him they always have an open invitation. :)

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: holidays, Humor

A plea for help for a domestic daughter by a non-domestic mother

January 9, 2012 By

LinkAlready at 7, my daughter Hadley’s domestic prowess is surpassing my own. Her fuel was fired when she returned home from visiting my parents at Christmas with many of my domestic goddess mother’s crafting items in tow.

A glue gun!
Wreaths!
Ribbon!
Glitter!
Fabric paints!
Weird netting stuff I don’t know what to call it!
Rafia!

Those are her exclamation marks, not mine.

But it gets worse CLICK TO READ ON AT MILEHIGHMAMAS.COM

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Hadley, Humor

The Gully

January 6, 2012 By

One of my fondest memories of growing up in Calgary is sledding The Gully across the street from my house. Of all the destinations I’ve visited, I’ve never found a valley that remotely compares to (in Jamie’s words): “that snow hill of death.”

Note: This is the same man who, when we visited a few years ago, brazenly said before launching off a jump, “I have a few days left on my health insurance so I may as well do this now.”

Basically, The Gully renders your senses obsolete.

It snowed two days before we arrived in Calgary and that was the only time it snowed during our entire trip. Shortly after we arrived, the kids and I headed to The Gully, bringing back a flood of my childhood memories.

From the trek.
To scoping out this blissful bowl.

To playtime.
Where I took one of my favorite new pictures of Bode.
Because those cheeks are so darn squeezable.

Quite predictably, Adventure Girl fearlessly careened down the hill while Bode took a more cautious, responsible approach. At one point, she started tearing down the hill, right in the path of Bode and me.

We threw ourselves out of the way and Bode unleashed a furious rant.

“HADLEY, YOU ALMOST KILLED US”….(pause for dramatic effect). “AND THEN YOU WOULD BE WITHOUT A BROTHER AND A MOMMY.”

At least someone in this family is the voice of reason on The Snow Hill of Death.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Canada, Hadley, Humor, outdoors

A Memorable Canadian Christmas

January 3, 2012 By

After my parent’s house fire, we changed our holiday plans to go to Utah and instead headed north of the border. It’s been a few years since I came to Calgary for Christmas and it’s admittedly my favorite place to be. The reasons are innumerable that include my zany and fun family but it comes down to just one thing: it’s home.

And really, you just can’t compete with that.

One night, my dad and I took the kids to the Calgary Nativity Pageant. Our church has put on this production for 46 years and it’s one of my favorite traditions. It has evolved into an impressive production with a professional set, killer sound system and live animals. One thing that has never changed is the venue: it’s always been held outdoors at Heritage Park.

Because didn’t you know: Bethlehem totally had sub-zero temperatures, too?

But Christmas Eve is hands down my favorite party ever. My brother Pat and sister-in-law host every year and have a huge spread of appetizers, desserts and candy.
We always start the festivities with playing the pipe bells that my Grandpa Wilde cut years ago. I also took the bells to Bode’s kindergarten class and Haddie’s second graders for their Christmas parties.
My family was only moderately better than them.

And that is after years of practice.

Then it’s onto the left-right game….
…wherein it is revealed we can’t decipher our left from our right.

But the climax of the evening is the gift exchange. To let you know just how seriously we take this game, my family often shops months in advance for just the right gifts to battle it out over. Some of the winners included a magic show (that has turned Hadley into an amateur magician), light sabers for Bode, and bacon candy canes that were unceremoniously ripped out of my possession.
But the real humdinger of the night was when my brother Pat, on the last trade of the evening, got stuck with the Santa toilet paper and pink, vibrating slippers.

Every year, Jane buys everyone matching PJs but this year, my niece Emily made them for most everyone for her final Personal Progress project for church.

Except for the late-comers like us who decided we were coming just a few days before Christmas. Regardless, Jane made sure we were still adequately outfitted.
As for Christmas day, I can’t believe I didn’t take any pictures! The kids had already opened most of their gifts in Denver so it was nice to not be so focused on the material side of the holidays.

Though they were certainly not lacking with a bike for Bode, a desk for Haddie, movies, Wii games, craft supplies, clothes, and movies. Probably the favorite present was from my mom who saved me from a parenting fail. My kids have always loved stuffed animals and I have never taken them to Build-a-Bear.

I know, Bad Mom.

But who can blame me after seeing those prices? For two animals and two outfits, my mom paid $90. “Birthday Cake” bear is Haddie’s newest treasure and Bode fell in love with another “Tabby.”

Those were sure swell selections but I was remiss when they turned me down for my bear de choix: A Canadian Bear in a Mountie Costume.

Serves me right for birthing Americans.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Canada, Family, holidays, Humor

Snowmamas SnowFun in Park City

December 28, 2011 By

To say these last weeks have been crazed would be an understatement.

There was the Snowmamas Summit early-December at Park City Mountain Resort. To see the fun article I wrote about how I would spend 72 hours in Park City, be sure to go here.

We cowboy karaoked at Cisero’s wherein it was confirmed if you do not sing, dance or at least drink you have NO BUSINESS performing. Fortunately my talents lie elsewhere like careening down Gorgoza Park’s suicidal tubing hill.

We also race down the alpine coaster and were among the first to try Park City Mountain Resort’s brand spankin’ new Flying Eagle Zip line. I’m really excited about this addition because it’s a great starter zipline for my kids to try in March (there is a 42″ minimum height requirement).

Maggie and I were the first of the Snowmamas to test it out and the ending is a bit startling (and loud), hence our expressions.
In case you were wondering: startling + me = a bad mix.

I skied the first day with the group but it was my first time on skis since my knee surgery and I woke up sore the next day. I opted to skip out and explore Park City, starting on Main Street and then hiking up Daly Canyon as I passed numerous historic mining sites. When the plowed road turned to deeper snow, I thought, “This could end badly.”
That is not the first time I’ve ever harbored that sentiment.

Fortunately, it was a glorious hike and great to have some much-needed alone time at a haunt only known to the locals.

Jamie called me during my hike.

Him: How’s it going?
Me: Good. Knee was a bit sore so I opted out of skiing today.
Him: That’s good. So, what are you doing?
Me: Going snow hiking.
Him: It is just me or does that not make any sense?
Me: It’s just you. So, what are you doing?
Him: It’s been snowing non-stop in Denver so the kids and I were going to go sledding.
Me: You mean that kid with the busted arm?
Him: (Ignoring me): It took me about a half hour to bundle them up in their ski clothes. I then had to climb up into the rafters in the garage to grab the sled. Bode was down below and told me to drop it down so he could catch it.
Him: You mean that kid with the busted arm?
Him: (Ignoring me): So I dropped it down, he grabbed it, hurt his arm even more so we didn’t go sledding after all.

It’s kind of worrisome when I (the one hiking with the sore knee)am the only one making sense in this family.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Family travel, Humor, Jamie, Utah

Naughty or Nice? You decide!

December 21, 2011 By

The Food

We’ve crammed a lot in the past two weeks, including baking and delivering all of these goodies to our friends and neighbors (offerings included Christmas French vanilla cake pops, caramel toffee squares, Almond Rocha and whipped shortbread).

We’ve done this for several years now and when my neighbor Monica opened the door, she exclaimed, “I really like this Johnson family tradition!)
She’s not the only one (7,000 calories later).

The Nice Hadley

Hadley has been participating in her class choir after school to perform Christmas carols at a local retirement home. She had a lot of fun singing, dancing and kickin’ it with the boys (see bottom right corner).

But what I was most proud of her for was the way she worked the room afterward, meeting and delighting the seniors. The girl knows how to work it when she wants to.

I had a memorable chat with a sharp-as-a-whip, respectful, funny 95-year-old man, Cliff. He was a college professor for a number of years and has been a guest columnist for the Denver Post this past year. We made a great connection and Bode and I plan to start visiting him regularly to play board games (Bode is obsessed).

With board games, not Cliff. But guaranteed, Cliff isn’t going to be the kind of guy to let him win.

The Bad Hadley

Hadley and Bode get along really well most of the time. Except for when they don’t. They both value their personal space so last week, each of them wrote messages on the white boards in their rooms, banning the other from entering.

Bode’s said something along the lines of “No Hadley.”

Keep in mind the kindergartner’s writing abilities are a bit limited.

Hadley, on the other hand, wrote a soliloquy about why Bode should not enter her room. Ever the artist, she also illustrated it.

Me: “Is that a picture of you KICKING BODE?!!!”
Her: “Yes, I’m kicking him out of my room.”
Me: “Maybe that’s not very nice.”

But I didn’t interfere. A couple of days later, she erased the picture on her own and I praised her for it.

Me: “I’m proud that you removed that picture. It’s not nice to even joke about things like that.”
Her: “But I wasn’t joking.”

Jury is still out if she made Santa’s “nice” list this year.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, holidays, Humor

Bring Us Some Figgy Pudding (However the Crap It’s Made)

December 20, 2011 By

If there is anything my family does well, it is making…and eating food. Not just quality but also quantity.

Our Christmas menu is embarrassingly (and deliciously) expansive. On Sunday we planned out our menu and I RAVED about the Figgy Pudding my sister-in-law Tammy made last year. Because it was out-of-this-world amazing, I volunteered to make it with a disclaimer.

Me: “It’s not something I would have EVER tried. I mean, what is Figgy Pudding made out of? Prunes? Dates?”

Them: “Errr, figs.”

Blame it on the blonde.

============

But here’s the funny thing about it all: IT WAS ACTUALLY DATE PUDDING! So maybe I’m not so blonde and off-kilter as I thought. Seriously, try this. I don’t EVER eat dates but it was so delicious.

Sticky Date Pudding
From the Dalvay by the Sea Inn
Pudding
1 3/4 c. packed pitted dates – about 10 ounces
2 cups water
1 1/2 tsp. baking soda
2 c. flour
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. ground ginger
1/2 tsp. salt
6 tbsp. unsalted butter, softened
1 c. sugar
3 large eggs
Coarsely chop dates. Place in saucepan and simmer uncovered in water about 5 minutes. Remove pan from heat and stir in baking soda. Let foaming mixture stand for 20 minutes. In a separate bowl, sift together flour, baking powder, ginger, and salt. In another separate bowl, beat together butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs 1 at a time and beat well after each addition. Add flour mixture in 3 batches, beating after each addition until just combined. Add date mixture and stir with a wooden spoon until just combined. Pour batter into a buttered and floured baking pan and set pan in a larger baking pan. Add enough hot water in larger pan to reach halfway up side of smaller pan. Bake at 375 degrees about 70 min. (or more), until an inserted knife or toothpick comes out clean. Remove smaller pan from water bath and cool slightly to a warm temperature.


Toffee Sauce

3/4 c. plus 2 tbsp. unsalted butter
1 1/3 c. packed light brown sugar
1 c. heavy cream
1/2 tsp. vanilla
In a large heavy saucepan, melt butter over moderate heat and add brown sugar. Bring mixture to a boil, stirring occasionally, and stir in cream and vanilla. Simmer sauce, stirring occasionally, until thickened slightly, about 5 minutes. Cool sauce slightly to a warm temperature.
Cut warm pudding into squares. Serve with warm sauce and vanilla ice cream.

Enjoy!

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Foodie, holidays, Humor Tagged With:
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