Humor | Life Elevated Mom

Behind-the-scenes at 9News’ Back-to-School Segment Part II

August 15, 2012 By Amber

If you’re just tuning in, be sure to read Behind-the-scenes at 9News’ Back-to-School Segment Part I.

Despite my best efforts to pull together two back-to-school segments for 9News (and believe me, both segments were a ton of work) one very important thing started unraveling the day prior: Haddie wasn’t feeling well.

I assumed it was because we’d stayed up late at our neighbor’s outdoor movie theater and gotten up early for church but she ping-ponged from OK to worse as she claimed stomach pains. I debated replacing her with her friend but then she’d recover enough for us to see the silver lining and hope she’d be OK.

She wasn’t.

Around 1 a.m. she came into our bedroom claiming nightmares about the sound of necklaces (can you say hallucinating?) so I let her stay. Problem was she thrashed and turned all night and I had to be at 9News by 6 a.m. for my first segment.

Translation: I barely slept.

The plan was for Jamie to bring the kids later for our fashion segment that aired at 8:40 a.m. My first segment on back-to-school products went just swell (find them here that includes the coolest alarm clock) but when I called Jamie to see how she was, he simply said, “Not great,” but that they would be there.

Once they arrived, we hung out in the green room and Haddie seemed pretty OK and my hope was renewed we’d survive the segment.

The Green Room (that is not green)

About 20 minutes before our segment, TaRhonda came to get us and the kids got a little tour of the newsroom. Much to Bode’s delight, he met his celebrity crush, Meteorologist Becky Ditchfield.

Blurry Becky. Apparently I was excited for him

At the end of the segment when Becky was talking to TaRhonda on-air, Becky called Bode “pretty dang awesome.”

Warning: Don’t tease him about it. He starts to blush and roars, “STOP IT!”

Once in the studio, we did a couple of dry runs and all the kids did great.

And then came SHOW TIME! Be sure to check-out the video here (kids’ segment starts at about 4 minutes and for clothing/product info, go here).

Jamie was a stellar stage father, guiding and helping the kids behind the scenes and they were all amazing. Hadley, in particular because she sucked it up and still performed when she felt sick.

Ignore the flash; no time to remove it

Steph was adorable, Bennett was cool but that Bode? For a kid who has a canned smile, the little dude stole the show.

Becky raving how awesome Bode is.

When the segment was over, we were all relieved, grateful and elated with how well it went. As we were walking back to our green room to retrieve our belongings, Hadley confessed:

“I threw up.”

“WHAT? When? Where?”

“Outside!”

I turned to Jamie and he confirmed it. Turns out she was still having stomach problems and the moment they got out of the car upon arriving at the 9News studios, she vomited all over the next parking stall. She recovered enough to perform for the segment and has been down-and-out with a feverish stomach flu ever since.

“Yeah, and Daddy told me not to say anything to you about throwing up until after we went on TV!”

Wise, wise man that Jamie.

And that, my friends, is how you leave your (literal) mark on your television debut.

Filed Under: 9News, Bode, Favorite Posts, Hadley, Humor

Behind-the-scenes at 9News’ Back-to-School Segment Part I

August 14, 2012 By Amber

When TaRhonda Thomas asked me to do a couple of of back-to-school segments on Denver’s top news station 9News, I readily agreed to one but took a big, long pause for the other. I’m fine with pitching products–I’ve done plenty of those on-air segments. But she also wanted me to pull together a fashion show for the second segment. Me? The woman who wears North Face and Arcteryx all winter long?

I reluctantly agreed and admittedly had the most fun pulling that particular segment together. Both were a lot of work–between researching what products I wanted to use, working with the company’s corporate office and then individual stores to get the item and not to mention finding models.

I needed two younger kids and was surprised when both of mine were enthusiastically on-board.

I think Bode secretly wanted to meet Meteorologist Becky Ditchfield (whom he has a crush on).

Next, I recruited Stephanie, a cool sophomore from church was elated to do a shopping spree at H&M (they got to keep their clothes).

But then came the teenaged boy. Turns out most of ‘em don’t want to be on TV. Modeling. Excuses ranged from “I have to work” to “I have band camp,” to my favorite, “Ohhhhhh no. I respectfully decline. I could never do that.”

How many teenaged boys even talk like that?

It got to the point where, at a stake BBQ where a number of wards congregated after a community service project that I lamented to Jamie, “I JUST NEED A TEENAGED BOY.”

And then I realized how that sounded.

My friend Lisa finally recommended my guy who was the son of a friend. Bennett is a cool sophomore who didn’t mind basking in the limelight and did a stellar job.

But, of course, there were problems (this is me, right?)

Be sure to read Part II for all the sordid details of the stress…and the puke as my kids made their television debut.

Filed Under: 9News, Bode, Hadley, Humor

My fellow pumpkin widow

August 10, 2012 By Amber

Tomorrow is the annual “Patch Tour”–a time when the illustrious Rocky Mountain Giant Vegetable Growers Group select a few of their fellow growers’ patches to tour and, if we’re being honest, SPY.

My pumpkin updates have been few and far between because we’ve been gone or busy this summer and I’ve barely noticed all the time Jamie has been spending in the pumpkin patch (I think that has been his evil plan). He lost one of his plants to a disease a couple of months ago so we’re down to one hallowed pumpkin he has christened after my mother: Christine.

There are a number of jokes I could insert here about hoping she’ll be big and round but I’ll refrain.

A couple of months ago, I was given some perspective on Jamie’s whole pumpkin obsession. It started out like most Sundays do. We attended church, came home and there was a message on our voice mail from a pumpkin grower named Tom who was visiting from Indiana.

“He wants to know if he can come over so I told him to swing by,” Jamie said.
“When?”
“He’s five minutes away.”

I inwardly groaned but then Jamie offered: “He’s bringing his wife. She doesn’t like pumpkins, either.”

Finally an ALLY!

The phone rang just as they arrived. It was the chicken lady on the phone for me (another topic, another day) so I could only motion “hello” as Jamie led them to the pumpkin patch.

After wrapping up my call, I raced out there and called out to Tom’s wife Megan: “I heard you’re NOT a pumpkin grower?” She eagerly nodded. “Well get inside with me, right away!”

I’ve never seen a woman move so quickly.

We commiserated about (what else?) our pumpkin-obsessed husbands.

How we are the same:
Our husbands grow giant pumpkins. Duh.

How we are different: Tom grows over 400 pumpkins. Yep, you heard correctly. He has a separate patch for his competition pumpkins and another field of them that they hand-plant over Memorial Day. These pumpkins are primarily used for genetics.

If you’re not a pumpkin geek, you have no idea what that means.I do, so that sadly means I am one of them.

I also discovered another way Megan and I are different.

“How long has Tom been growing?” I queried.
“Several years,” she replied.
“Wait. How long you have been married?” I countered.
“Four years.”
“So there was FULL DISCLOSURE BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED?”

Yep. And even worse, she was on vacation in Denver and he managed to work in some patch tours.

I got a lot of things out of that visit but one thing in particular: perspective.

I never thought I’d say I’m grateful for just one giant pumpkin.

Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, pumpkins

Broken

August 9, 2012 By Amber

When I was at BYU, I had one of the coolest jobs on campus: I worked as a research assistant in the religion department’s Faculty Support Center. I did everything from make copies (a lot of them) to transcribing OLD manuscripts to editing very cool documents.

It was there my fascination with Ancient Israel and world religions was borne and the reason why I did a study abroad to the BYU Jerusalem Center for Near Eastern Studies for my final semester. In August. With heat so unbearable I thought I’d never make it outta there alive.

But I still loved every minute of it. Except for the heat parts. Which was all the time except for when we were in air-conditioned buildings.

It was a complicated love affair.

Several of my co-workers and boss Patty are lifelong friends and I was thrilled when I was able to hook up my soon-to-be freshman neighbor Alexis with a job at the FacSupp starting in June.

When I posted about my water breaking with Hadley in very public booth #3 at Einstein Bros., Patty dropped me a note to remind me of an experience I had long forgotten.

Or chose to forget (thanks, Patty).

Once upon a time, I was at work and grabbed something out of my backpack. Something you should know about me is as long as I can remember, I’ve carried a water bottle full of ice-cold water wherever I go. My kids have inherited this trait and we can’t leave the house for even a 5-minute walk without some water in-hand.

So, that day so many years ago, I grabbed my backpack and it was SOAKING wet. All my homework and text books were drenched and I’m sure I was raising a fuss because Patty asked me, “What on earth happened?”

Still in shock, I finally blurted out, “MY WATER BROKE!”

The foreshadowing is not lost on me.

Filed Under: Humor, LDS

The gig is up

August 7, 2012 By Amber

We’ve been so busy these final weeks before school that posting will be sporadic. Last weekend, we went to First Friday and Street Fair in Golden, followed by a free outdoor movie–Puss ‘n Boots–in the square with our friends.

Hanging w/ Karla waiting for movie to begin

Watching that funny movie reminded me of something Haddie said a few months ago that still rings true.

Hadley: “Mommy, I’m 100 percent sure the Easter bunny isn’t real. I think there’s just a person dressed up as a bunny.”

Me: “Why do you suspect that?”

Hadley: “Because I got ‘Puss in Boots’ for Easter and there was a Wal-Mart sticker on it. AND BUNNIES CAN’T SHOP!!!”

Filed Under: Hadley, Humor

Party, party, party and The Face Plant

July 25, 2012 By Amber

Bode has it pretty darn good when it comes to birthdays. We’ve been in Canada the last couple of summers so he usually gets a fete with friends before we leave. As previously mentioned, this year it was a Super Mario/Beach Party.

Party #1: The Super Mario/Beach Party

Party #2: The Pretend Birthday

We wanted to celebrate Bode’s birthday in Canada before my brother and his family took off for their two-week lake vacation.

And truth be told, we really wanted Jane’s famous beef tenderloin.

So, we planned a little celebration on our back deck that included fabulous food.

The Cool Kids Table

And fun with Grandma’s treasure hunt with lots of clues and goodies.

Scavenger Hunt Haul

And a Stampede ice cream birthday cake. After all, when in Rome.

Or rather, that would be cowtown…..

Party #3: The Real Birthday.

The boy had VERY specific instructions about how he wanted to spend his birthday, starting with breakfast in bed with pancakes and a fresh fruit salad.

Though it was already 9 a.m., his moody sister wasn’t yet awake (thanks to their gloriously dark and cool basement) and didn’t appreciate the interruption. I enthusiastically asked Bode about something he’d be able to do now that he is 6 that he couldn’t do when he was 5.

Hadley interjected. “Now that he’s 6, he has to pay for Stampede.”

Trust Grumpy Head to remind us of the 5 and under free policies that no longer apply.

At Bode’s request, we went for an epically long golf cart ride in the gully.

And went to Peter’s Drive-in for their famous milkshakes.

That evening we gave him the choice of going to the Telus Spark, Calgary’s new Science Center or to a gorgeous picnic area Dad and I stumbled upon during a bike ride. Much to my delight, he chose the latter so we had a fantastic picnic at Shannon Terrace in Fish Creek Provincial Park, one of the largest urban parks in Canada.

There is an adjacent Environmental Learning Center (that I’m bitter our school never attended) and a network of paths perfect for little people and dogs to explore.

And glorious Fish Creek is always great for water play.

Unless you’re a water-adverse dog and get dragged through it.

Dad stoked up a stellar fire to cook smokies, which is a little cut of heaven when you live in Denver where there seems to be an eternal fire ban.

My friend Stacey joined us for the festivities as well. I recently realized I’m always the photographer and forget to take pictures of myself so here’s a token shot.

Now, for the moment that had us laughing. There was a gopher-filled meadow that kept the kids entertains for HOURS. When they weren’t chasing gophers with the dogs, they were “fishing” for gophers using gummy worms as bait on the dog leashes.

Suddenly, I saw crying Bode racing toward me with blood gushing down his face. He was so hysterical I couldn’t get the story out of him for a while. Had a gopher fought back?

The story is much better than that. Part of their strategy for catching the gophers was to pick some grass and place it on top of their holes. Sobbing, Bode relayed the story.

“And den, I was pulling up the grass but it was too hard.”
“Too hard?”
“Yes, too hard, I was pulling on the grass and it wouldn’t come out. And I fell over.”

Then I realized what happened: While trying to pull the grass that wouldn’t budge, he had fallen forward and face-planted in Said Grass.

Dad confirmed it all.

“I was watching him. He just just kind of tipped over.”

Better luck for Birthday No. 7. Minus killer grass mounds and gophers.

Filed Under: birthday, Bode, Canada, Humor

Part II: Another Crazy-fun Day at Fish Creek Provincial Park

July 23, 2012 By Amber

Know those parents who would never let their kids play in the mud?

Getting dirty with Grandpa B.

Apparently I am not one of them.

(Sordid details forthcoming. See Part I here.)

Filed Under: Bode, Canada, Hadley, Humor

Happy 6th Birthday to My LIttle Man!

July 18, 2012 By Amber

Dear Bode,

Five years old was YOUR year and you really came into your own. You started half-day kindergarten sweet, thoughtful and a bit shy as your worried you wouldn’t know anybody in your class and emerged nine months later with a posse of besties and half the school at your beck-and-call.

That, my popular little dude, is remarkable.

With kindergarten besties Nicky, Timmy and Curtis

And why shouldn’t everyone like you? You’re kind to everyone, fun, smart and cool. This was confirmed during a recent trip to the Children’s Museum when you and your BFF Sean were playing in the Woodland area and he was wearing a squirrel costume. I tried to lure you into the floppy bunny-eared one but you were too cool to have anything to do with it.

My blackmail days are growing to a sad, sad close.

In terms of activities, you’re great at lot of different things and have been playing on the same soccer team for a few years. You overcame your fears on the skate park and are now launching off the big bumps and are doing the same on the ski slopes. I was so proud when, after just one week, you went from faking a leg injury to being a “Superstar” at Park City Mountain Resort.

Mommy face-planted on that same run as I was trying to photograph you.

I just asked you what things you like to do and you told me, “I like to play Wii, I like math, I like to color and I love to go on trips.”

Wii
You love your Wii so much you even had a Mario Party for your 6th birthday. You’re limited to playing it a few times a week but so great is your love for the Wii that I’m able to motivate you to do anything for it and you subsequently always have your homework and chores done and a clean room.

Pretty much if anyone asks me why you’re such a great kid and praises my mothering efforts, I’ll give props to Mario & Kirby.

At your 6th birthday party: A Mario Beach Bash!

Crowding around Mario Party

Water balloon bash

Math
It’s true, you’re a great little mathematician and constantly drill me with numbers. You’re even helping Hadley with her second-grade homework and yep, I still have high hopes for you to do our finances in a few years. In addition to math, you’re a fantastic little reader and were bumped up to attend Mrs. Dorough’s first grade reading class and are already tackling Hadley’s chapter books.

Reading to Fat Kitty. He prefers the Bad Kitty series–his alter-ego

Coloring
OK, I’ll vouch for being good at coloring but drawing? Let’s just say you had top scores in all your subjects on your report cards except for art. Hopefully your artistic sister Hadley can help you out with this one.

Trips

You and Hadley have been traveling since you were in the womb so it’s pretty much in your blood. Some favorite trips you’ve been on this year include Utah to visit family and ski (you loved the mini snowmobiles), Disneyland to check-out the new Cards Land, YMCA of the Rockies, in Estes Park, camping Bear Creek, Colorado Springs (you adored feeding the giraffes at Cheyenne Mountain Zoo) and we’re currently in Canada.

Finding out you were going to Disneyland

When asked where you want to go when you’re 6, you said, “Disney World, Utah, Canada and then Disneyland again. And that’s all.”

You don’t ask for much, do you?

Adventure Boy climbing Garden of the Gods, Colorado Springs

Adventure Camp

YMCA of the Rockies Estes Park

Soaked on the Grizzly River Run, Disneyland

Junior Naturalist at Lookout Mountain

Stomp rockets at Chatfield State Park

You are unfailingly responsible and try to set anyone straight who is not following the rules. During our most recent trip to Canada, you stormed into the kitchen, spewing “I AM SO UPSET. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON TO WASH THEIR HANDS?”

Turns out your 4-year-old cousin had left the water running after she she cleaned up. I’m sure she won’t dare do it again after the lecture you gave her.

Though I’m excited for you to go into first grade, I’m literally mourning the end of an era when you get to spend a good part of your day with me. When asked what I should do when you’re finally in full-day school school next, you advised “Go hiking and biking!”

My mourning period should be over pretty quickly.

You’re a peacemaker, are always mauling us with hugs and kisses and are the big unifier in our family. Sometimes after you say your prayers, you call everyone into your room and shout “Group Hug” as we pile onto each other giggling and laughing. You complete this family in such a wonderful way and we’re so very thankful to have you a part of it.

Happy birthday!

Love,
Mommy

===

For a stroll down memory lane, birthday letters 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5.

Denver snow day

Cooking boys

Sledding in Canada

Being brave–broken wrist

Filed Under: birthday, Bode, Humor

Volunteering for the Rotary Club’s Short People at Stampede

July 17, 2012 By Amber

On Thursday, I received the following email from my bestie, Stacey:

I am volunteering at a Rotary Club fundraising event for the Stampede tonight. They are short people. Would you be interested?

One of my favorite things to do is volunteer at such functions. On my mission in Switzerland, my favorite Christmas ever was serving dinner to the homeless. Last Thanksgiving, my little family served dinner at a homeless shelter. So I was in, hook, line and sinker–especially because I’d never worked with short people before!

It was only after re-reading her email a half-hour later I realized she could have phrased it better by saying, “they need more volunteers” and that we would not, in actuality, be serving short people.

In her defense when I teased her about it? “Give me some credit. I know they’re called ‘little people.’”

We’re both naturally blonde.

The Oxford Stomp is a long-standing tradition in Calgary’s Corporate Community. The private charity event includes the Rotary’s famous beef-on-a-bun dinner and performances each night by three international recording artists.

“International” meaning American. Goo Goo Dolls performed the night we were there.

When Stacey and I arrived, we grabbed some grub (the smoked beef was amazing) and checked in at Station 6.

Seven volunteers lined the table and we were each given an assignment. I served coleslaw and Stacey slopped the beans. Then the stampede of hungry cowboys began.

Now I know where they got the name for it.

We had a blast. Thousands of people were at the shindig and several people commented that Station 6 was not only the fastest line but the most fun and loudest.

What is most shocking of all: I wasn’t even the loudest in the group and “fork-man” James (who distributed the forks) was the rowdiest of us all.

Nice to know I’ve met my match.

The event was held at historic Fort Calgary where, in the fall of 1875, the North West Mounted Police built a small wooden fort at the confluence of the Bow and Elbow Rivers. They laid the foundation for the city that became Calgary and we got to witness a cool piece of history: a military chopper took off from the grounds carrying the American flag to the Calgary Stampede grandstand show.

Not-so historic: when the helicopter took off, this happened to ma hair.

Welcome to Jamie’s world every morning.

Stacey and I hung around talking late into the evening and as we were walking back to our car, the street-side revelries were well underway. Translation: hundreds of drunk cowfolk.

Buses were transporting people to the after-Stampede parties and a few drunk cowboys offered to escort us. When we politely declined, one of them staggered over to a community garden and picked us a bouquet of flowers, which he quickly trashed when he realized they were plastic.

It would have been a flattering moment if 1) the flowers were real. 2) he hadn’t attempted to steal them. 3) He wasn’t fall-down drunk and 4) I wasn’t married.

But still, the Oxford Stomp sure delivered a hootin’ hollarin’ good time.

Short people and all.

Filed Under: Canada, Humor

Yahoooooo: Why the Calgary Stampede is the Great Outdoor Show On Earth

July 16, 2012 By Amber

I’ve been to a lot of cool festivals and celebrations all around the world but nothing even comes close to what happens during the Calgary Stampede, “The Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth.” For 10 days, the city pretty much shuts down to party, cowboy-style. Everything from free pancake breakfasts to hoe-downs to soirees to playing on the Stampede grounds.

People stagger into work late (if at all). Wanna take a 3-hour lunch? No problem. It’s Stampede week. Calgary turns into Jamaica and it’s “No problem, mon.”

And if you don’t own cowboy boots or a hat? ForgetAboutIt.

Which means since I don’t own either, I’m a reject in my own hometown.

This year was Stampede’s 100th anniversary so instead of just a nightly fireworks show above the fairgrounds, five international-scale firework displays occurred at the same time around the city, making it the largest and most sophisticated firework event ever produced in Canada.

We didn’t make it out to see them. In our defense, it doesn’t get dark until after 11 p.m. in the summer.

And yes, I am lame.

But we did make it to the Stampede grounds with Jamie this year. We have yet to buy tickets to the world-class rodeo (Chuckwagon races being the favorite) but the midway is always a great time. Prior to setting out, I posted this Facebook update:

YAHOO! Hitting up the Calgary Stampede today and, of course, Heart Attack Alley. What would you choose out of these gems? Bacon sundae funnel cakes, deep-fried Kool-Aid, Wagon Wheel or pickle chips. Then there is the 1,550-calorie doughnut cheeseburger with bacon, the macaroni and cheese pizza, deep-fried Coke, deep-fried Pop-tarts and a pulled pork parfait featuring mashed potatoes, gravy and pork presented to resemble an ice cream dessert. Salad, anyone?

Turns out we never made it to heart attack alley (the reason we’re still alive today) but we still had a swell time on all the rides.

They’re smiling only because they found joy in giving the gift of whiplash

Only problem is it was sweltering. Remember how I came to Canada to escape the heat? The first few days of our visit, it followed us here. As we were standing in line at Niagara Falls (the log ride) counting down the moments until we’d get splashed, I looked around and everyone in line was panting or making makeshift fans out of anything they could find.

I pointed it out to Jamie and proclaimed, “THESE ARE MY PEOPLE!”

Finally, someone who could relate to my heat-induced coma this summer.

======

If you Google “Calgary Stampede Pancake Breakfast” a medley of websites and apps appear to help you navigate the onslaught of free pancakes breakfasts that occur daily during the 10-day celebration. Yep, that’s right: All. FREE.

The pancake breakfasts are put on with varying degrees of fanfare so we used FlapJackFinder.com to track down a fete where the Caravan Committee would be hosting, which is the biggest and baddest celebration of them all. We found them at our local mall–Southcentre–and had a blast listening to the live band and (of course) gorging on our breakfast of pancakes, real strawberry topping, sausage and cookie.