Oh Canada: The Drive

August 30, 2017 By

Our annual trip to Canada was cut short because Hadley had Young Women Girl’s Camp mid-July and then BYU volleyball camp the first week of August. My brother Jade got married so our time in Calgary was frenzied helping with the flowers and wedding prep, and we only had five nights at Lake Okanagan in Vernon before driving back to Utah with my nephews, who hung out with us for a week while my brother was on his honeymoon. It was a craaaaazy two weeks!

The drive from Denver to Calgary is 19 hours so the kids and I would always break it down into two days. Now that we’re in Utah. the drive is a 13-hour shot straight up I-15 so I figured would could do it in one long day. Jamie would fly up to meet us later in the week.

My Honda Pilot is a 2003 and our plan was to get a new vehicle last year…and then we moved and are stilling dealing with the never-ending expenses. Fortunately, my car has worked great all these years and we hoped it would hang on a little while longer.

Prior to the road trip, I took the Honda Pilot in to get the oil changed. The kids and I were eight hours into the drive, just 30 minutes past Great Falls, and all was going well.

Until we started going up a hill when the transmission light turned on, and there was a strange smell. I pulled over and called Jamie, who called various auto repair shops in Great Falls. It was 4:30 p.m. on a Sunday night and most of them were closed so he instructed us to spend the night in Great Falls and take the car into the dealership in the morning. 

So, that’s what we did. After a memorable evening in the Super 8 on the seedy part of town, I took the car in and they gave their diagnosis: The place where I got my oil changed had either overfilled the transmission fluid or put in the wrong stuff. It had spilled and burned up the entire underbelly of the car. They drained  and replaced the fluid but were unable to tell me if more serious damage had been done. They gave us about a 50-50 chance of making it. SWELL.

The kids and I started driving. We joked as passed the place we had pulled over the day prior when, not even 100 feet beyond that point, ANOTHER WARNING LIGHT LIT UP ON THE DASHBOARD, this time for the four-wheel drive. I pulled over. The kids asked what was going on and I explained there was a different problem. Bode, ever the optimist, observed,

“Well, at least we made it farther than last time.”

We would make it to Calgary but when en route to B.C. the week after that, the car started smoking in Banff. We eeked our way to Vernon where we became acquainted with yet another Honda dealership that charged us $1,700 in labor to replace a plug (they had to dismantle the entire engine to put it in). On a wing and lots of prayers, we made it home to Utah with my nephews in tow.

So, what’s the status of the car? We’re not sure.  It’s only worth about $5,000 so we really don’t want to dump another $2,000 into it when we’re planning on selling it but we can’t yet afford to buy another car. So we wait. And hope and pray it can hang on just a little while longer, just like the rest of us.

Filed Under: Bode, Canada, Humor

Happy 11th birthday, Bode!

July 18, 2017 By

Happy 11 birthday, Bode!

It has been quite the year and I think our move has been the very hardest on you. When asked what your favorite place in the world was, you’d always respond “Home,” and you were deeply rooted to our family, your many friends and our Colorado adventures.

Arvada besties Nicky and Vinny

You were the Big Man on Campus at Vanderhoof Elementary. You’d grown up with everyone and were beloved by all as they voted you to the Student Council. You prided yourself on being obedient, smart and kind and had some of the most wonderful friends whom we miss every day.

You’re slowly rebuilding and finding your place here. You had the short stick in the draw–entering fifth grade in an alternate universe of a 5-6 Intermediate School which closed down this summer. You’ll be bumped up to middle school, which means you’ll have to start over yet again as the youngest in the school. But like most things you try to make the best of it and rarely complain, even on the really hard days.

You quickly rose to the top of your class and your teacher divulged that the kids came to you for help in math before her. All the students were given laptops during the school year and this was just an excuse to read silly memes and obsessively check your online grades.  One day as you dramatically read each itemized grade to me, Hadley interrupted. I told her, “Hadley, can you hold on? I’m listening to Bode,” which prompted you to reply, “Nevermind. They’re all straight A’s again.”

I spent a lot of the school year worrying you hadn’t yet found your Tribe until I chaperoned a field trip in May and was relieved to see you with a group of fun, respectful, athletic boys who radiated goodness. At church, you’ve made some good friends with the Seversons and Jonas. You had a blast doing the Kids Adventure Games with your ski buddy,  Porter, despite the fact he was like the Energizer Bunny. When his bike chain kept slipping off because he was incorrectly changing gears, you confessed, “I was glad when it kept happening because he never wanted to stop and rest.”

Kids Adventure Games

You’ve been a part of Webelos this year and earned your rank. You (and, let’s be honest, your dad) won the Pinewood Derby, a great way to leave Cub Scouts with a bang. You and your fellow technology geeks took free coding classes at the library and learned such monumental skills like learning to hack a website. In the spring, you once again dominated rec soccer despite having your dad as the coach (which we’ll both agree isn’t always super fun). We were relieved when you opted to do rec soccer again this fall despite the fact that many boys your age are competing in competitive, which is akin to selling your soul (and free time) to the Devil.

This summer, you attended a week-long adventure camp at Keystone Science School, a golf camp last week at the Homestead and took a weekly fishing clinic at Wasatch Mountain State Park. Our travels have been  minimal this year due to our tight finances but you’ve enjoyed returning to Colorado a couple of times to see your friends and our favorite place on earth: The Broadmoor.

You and I had quite the winter together. You agreed to try Nordic Ski lessons at Olympic venue Soldier Hollow so twice a week I volunteered in your class for the sole purpose of skiing for free.  You took six weeks of ski lessons at Sundance Ski Resort where you fine-tuned your skills. You and I were also the only two in the family with free passes to Park City Ski Area so our accumulative total number of ski days this year was 30+. I’m not sure if it was all the cross-country skiing you did, but something clicked for you and your downhill skiing is better than ever. You attempted double-black diamond McConkey’s Bowl and have become a solid, excellent skier who wants to ski more challenging terrain than your decrepit mother wants to ski. We made the financial sacrifice to buy everyone season passes next year because what’s the point of living in the mountains if we can’t enjoy them? Eating is highly overrated anyway.

McConkey’s Bowl

Though you’re still as snuggly and kind as ever (but only in private; you can’t lose face in front of your friends), I’ve seen little signs of distancing yourself away from us and the occasional pre-teen moodiness. You’ve been a complete ray of sunshine for many years so it’s to be expected that some dark clouds of teenage-dom should loom but here’s for hoping they aren’t here to stay.

Minecraft Sunset

You’re a pleaser and even when you don’t want to do something you’re asked, you do it quickly so you can get back to the fun stuff. Like video games. Lots of them. If I didn’t have any kind of monitoring system, you would play 24-7 so I’m hoping you’ll grow out of this technology addiction that is your Achilles heal and the source of your occasional moodiness. We have the most beautiful sunsets in our backyard and one day I told you, “Bode, look outside at the gorgeous sunset.” You quickly glanced up and then down. “On Minecraft there’s a beautiful sunset, too.”

You only tolerate the piano but to your credit, you’ve stayed with it. However, you really like listening to popular music and your favorite artists include Imagine Dragons and Daughtry. You and Fat Kitty have finally become besties. For years, you were his least favorite person in the family because you wanted to maul him with love. You’ve always been patient.  First, there were Hadley’s beloved stuffed animals, Tabby and Lolly, whom you loved in secret while she was in preschool and you were thrilled to pounce on them when she moved on. Fat Kitty has proven the same. Though she still adores him, he doesn’t have the same appeal as make-up and boys so you have become his caretaker, feeding and taking care of his every need. You have been rewarded with his long-anticipated affections. Your brother from another mother now goes to your bed to sleep with you first, the ultimate badge of honor for everyone in the family except your father who doesn’t understand The Grandeur That Is Fat Kitty.

For your “friend” birthday this year, you invited Jonas, Porter, Eli and Charlie to the Aqua X Zone obstacle course on Jordanelle Reservoir where your inconsiderate sister proceeded to break her arm. Undaunted, you all bravely carried on as she was rushed to the ER. :-) We are currently in Calgary for your “real” birthday. We generally have a big family celebration that has been bumped to Thursday night and you’ll have to share the spotlight with Uncle Jade for your family dinner the night before his wedding. Something tells me that you won’t mind so long as you get to celebrate with Timbits and video games on your big day.

Aqua X Zone

If you remember anything about your first year in Utah, I hope that you remember that you are loved–both by your Colorado friends and family–and by your new ones here. You can do hard things and I have no doubt that as you continue to climb to the top that the summit views will be spectacular.  Just know that we will be cheering and loving you no matter where we are on that mountain. Always.

Love,

Mom

P.S. For a stroll down memory lane, see birthday letters 1, 2, 3, 4,  5,  6, and 7, 8,  9 and 10.

Earning your Webelos rank

Provo Canyon ziplining

 

Broadmoor Brunch

Park City

Killer Coders Jonas, Charlie and Eli

14er Pikes Peak

Keysone, Colo.

Coach Dad

 

Filed Under: birthday, Bode, Humor

The Cookie Monster(s)

July 2, 2017 By

The now-extinct carrot cookies

Another one from the draft folder. 

If my family has an achilles heel, it’s my homemade cookies. What can I say? They’re just that good and I have mastered the art of making ‘em in Denver (trust, me, high-altitude baking is an art).

The problem is I can’t ever make enough–they’re gone in record time.

I make everything from gingerbread cookies to oatmeal to sugar to chocolate chip to Scotchies. Recently, I had a craving for my mom’s old-fashioned carrot cookies with orange butter cream so I found a recipe and made them. I was careful not to mention that they had carrots to the kids (you know, the whole cookies + veggies thing might not go over very well) and quite predictably, they ravaged them like wolves.

Not even 24 hours after I made them, the entire batch as gone. As I looked into the empty cookie jar, I dryly observed to Jamie:

“You people have a serious cookie problem.”

“Yeah, the problem is you don’t ever make enough of them.”

Filed Under: Humor, Jamie

The Light, I See the Light!

June 29, 2017 By

Here’s another post from January of last year I never published. Our first family newsletter still makes me laugh!

My goal for January was to purge and organize our home and I’m happy to say I have finished this major undertaking except for the garage. THAT is a project unto itself. Though I try to clean it semi-annually, Jamie ALWAYS wreaks havoc after pumpkin season and there are fertilizer spills, tarps and who-knows-what-else.

I had big plans to clean the garage on Saturday but was struck with the plague.

Me: “I have bad news. I’m too sick so we can’t clean the garage today.”

Hadley: “That’s the bad news? What’s the good news?”

“You get to do your regular chores today.”

Compared to cleaning the garage, that is welcome  news.

I’m still under the weather, which is a particular bummer because we’re having OneHeckOfASnowStorm and it’s depressing to be stuck indoors. I did very little adventuring in January but February will be filled with some of my favorites including Glenwood Springs, a family reunion at YMCA of the Rockies Estes Park Center and The Broadmoor for my birthday. Lackluster January 2016 is well beyond me!

When you’ve lived somewhere for 12 years, it’s amazing how much you collect and it’s been fun to stroll down memory lane. One of my favorite things I uncovered was our very first family holiday newsletter that we sent December 2004. I started blogging shortly thereafter and it’s obvious I needed a creative outlet because I. Was. On. One. Do you know those families that sugarcoat tough years? I did the opposite because make no mistake: our transition to parenthood was rough with our sleepless 6-month-old Hurricane Hadley.  I’ll publish it here for your reading enjoyment.

Johnson Family News

For unto us a child is born, Unto us a daughter is given. And the parents shall be at her fingertips. And her name shall be called Wonderful, Crier, The Mighty Hadley, The Insomniac Babe, The Princess of Pandemonium. -James 24:7

We are pleased to announce that we have [barely] survived the first six months of parenthood! Between starting a business, building a home and birthing a child, there is never a dull moment.

Hadley’s Happenings

Hadley loves hiking with the Colorado Mountain Mamas and is very displeased when she is stuck indoors. She is known as the social butterfly of the babies and tackles them upon contact. “Why” is not in her vocabulary “admittedly, her only vocab consists of “Wah, I don’t want to sleep,” and “Wah, I want food NOW.”)

When not hungry and overtired, she is a complete joy and loves to laugh, have food fights, roll over, yank Mommy’s hair out, dance for Daddy, bounce off walls (literally in her Johnny Jumper), take baths, attack her friends and pull all-nighters.

There is little question who she resembles most with her spirited personality and looks; Jamie is just glad she has his brown eyes to verify that she is indeed his offspring.

Amber’s Anarchy

Amber’s transition from Adventure Travel Writer to Adventurous Unraveling Mother was reminiscent of her Murphy’s Law life. Though relieved Hadley was not born a black baby with buck teeth (as her prophetic dreams foretold), Amber became very familiar with the hospital before and after the birth. She had emergency on her finger a week before delivery but was displeased when it did not preclude her from diaper duty. Then, there was the infamous Bleach Incident a few weeks later when Amber made a trip to the ER after dumping a gallon of bleach in her eyes. The ER has since issued her a punch card; one more visit and she wins a free ambulance ride.

When not frequenting the hospital, Amber enjoys hiking several times per week with Hadley in a local hiking club. Amber has met several outdoorsy moms and her social group is now based in Boulder–the Granola Capitol of Colorado. She is proud to say that she is the only non-Vegan in the group and has yet to be force-fed tofu.

Jamie’s Jabber

Jamie continues to manage the operations and meltdowns at the Denver Newspaper Agency. He also launched a wedding website business and has successfully partnered with more than 15 national newspapers. As the helm of Customer Care, he enjoys correspondence with neurotic and emotions brides across the country. He claims it makes his own estrogen-overdosed household seem less neurotic and emotional.

This past summer, Jamie slaved in soil that made the frozen tundra of the Motherland look like the Garden of Eden. He installed a sprinkler system, sod and even single-handled carried one-ton rocks across the yard…just for fun. Publicity Amber claims he accomplished these great feats on a mere five hours of sleep. Five hours over the course of five months, that is. He is also the Ward Mission Leader at church and relishes in his early-morning meets on the lone day he would have been able to sleep in.

When asked what inspires him, Jamie replied, “Fear of Hadley. Must do what Hadley says. Must not anger the Hadley. Must keep Hadley from crying!! Must get Hadley to sleep!!! KEEP THE HADLEY HAPPY! MUST KEEP THE HADLEY HAPPY!!!!”

Couple’s Corner

We feel so blessed this holiday season to celebrate the birth of the Savior with our beautiful baby in our new home. We wish you all the best in 2005 and of course: “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night(‘s sleep!)

Filed Under: Hadley, holidays, Humor

Meet Ralph

June 22, 2017 By

I come from a warped family that loves loves loves to pinch zits. Both of my nieces have been trained as estheticians so they are PROFESSIONAL PIMPLE POPPERS. Whenever anyone has a lovely growth forming, we go in for the attack.

So, imagine my delight when I noticed lovely minefields of puss forming on Hadley’s pubescent face a few years ago but imagine my dismay when she wouldn’t let me anywhere near them. She only acquiesces when she has hard-to-reach ones on her back during the summer (her vanity trumps her disdain).

Last week, the beast of all zits formed on her chin. It was so big it deserved a name so I christened him “Ralph.” We’ve shared many tales of Ralph over the last several days and he has become the sixth member of our family after Fat Kitty.

Ralph is finally starting to clear but he’s still a big, red scab. After Hadley’s accident, Jamie took her to to the hospital in Park City. As the doctor was asking her questions about her fall, he pointed to her face and said, “Did you also hit your chin on the way down?”

Jamie jokingly interjected, “No, that’s Ralph.”

Let’s just hope he’s one family member who’s not here to stay.

 

 

Filed Under: Hadley, Humor

The man wants MEAT

June 22, 2017 By

As the story is told, recently after my Grandma and Grandpa Wilde were married, my grandma (who was an amazing cook) make them a robust salad for dinner. My grandpa, a hard-working farmer took one look at the ‘rabbit’ food and demanded, “WHERE’S THE MEAT, VIRGINIA?”

Without another word, he walked right out the door to his mother’s house for dinner.

She never made that mistake again.

I try to have meatless dinners at least once a week but I’m married to a meat man. The other night, I made Cuban black bean and cilantro rice bowls topped with Tomatillo salsa, avocados and onions.

I made the mistake of asking everyone what they thought.

“WHERE’S THE MEAT, AMBER?” jokingly (but not) demanded my husband. “I SWEAR, IF MY MOTHER LIVED NEARBY I’D GO TO HER HOUSE FOR DINNER RIGHT NOW.”

Apparently, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, even if they are your in-laws.

 

Filed Under: Humor, Jamie

My return to rollerblading glory

June 14, 2017 By

I’ve lived in Midway almost eight months and had yet to go rollerblading in my favorite place: Provo Canyon. When I was at BYU, I fell in love with the Provo River Parkway and would park at the base of the canyon and rollerblade up about 10 miles past Bridal Veil Falls to Vivian Park and then race back down the canyon. There is a slight incline the entire way making it a great workout but the ride down was sheer bliss.

Since moving to Colorado almost 15 years ago, I would occasionally come back and rollerblade it so I’ve been chomping at the bit since our move but between unpacking, two feet of snow and trail closures and flooding all spring, the timing wasn’t right.

I decided to make the timing work for me so I woke up one morning last week to go. I grabbed my helmet (something I never wore before), wrist guards and thought I was set. Turns out I should have brought full body armor as well. I made some mistakes on my triumphant return and they included:

1) I forgot I’m not 20 anymore. This covers all subsequent observations.

2) What goes down must come up. When I was in Provo, I started at the base of the canyon and went up. This is how I prefer to do everything–there’s nothing more miserable to me than starting a hike going downhill, only to save the climb for the end. The problem is Midway is at the top of the canyon and I really didn’t want to drive all the way down, rollerblade up and then back down and then have to drive back up. Make sense? It sure did to me. At the time.

2) My rollerblades are about 20 years old and are dire need of being replaced. The wheels are so worn it made climbing the hills really tough. Being out of shape didn’t help either.

3) The cruise down vacillated between being empowering “I LOOOOVE THIS!” and moderately terrifying in places. If you’re never rollerbladed before, there’s really no great way to stop on steep terrain. I used to know every curve and bend so would just go with the flow but I was rusty so had to inch down a few sections like a baby learning to walk.

4) I somehow made it down the canyon without falling and then came the moment of truth: going back up. That’s usually my favorite part and I love the burn of the climb! Rollerblading that 20 miles has never been an issue but between being rusty, out-of-shape and having old roller-blades, it was a tough go. I even debated calling Jamie at one point but powered through it (albeit on a low battery).

A few things I learned before going next time:

I need to buy new rollerblades. Period. I should have replaced mine years ago but I never really went in Denver but now that I live next door to an amazing place, I want back in.

I need to start at the bottom of the canyon and work my way up. I bit off waaaaaay more than I could chew so next time I’ll start mid-way up the canyon and slowly make my rides longer.

My before shot as I exuberantly started out:

My after shot:

 

x

 

Yep, that about tells the story.

Filed Under: Family travel, Humor, outdoors, Utah

The boy and his cat

June 11, 2017 By

Bode has always been the patient younger brother. He’s the calm to Hadley’s crazy, the kind to her errrr….not, and usually manages to see the good in whatever drama is going down.

Ever the good brother, he’s always patiently waiting in the wings for the chance to pounce. Once upon a time, he secretly loved Hadley’s favorite stuffed animals, Lolly and Tabby, but only dared to touch them when she was at school, during which time he toted them around with him everywhere.

Enter: Fat Kitty.

Fat Kitty and Hadley used to be inseparable. He followed her around, climbed into her bed at bedtime and was the object of her obsession…until she started Middle School. She still loves him but not with the same ardeur.

Enter: Bode.

Now that Hadley has moved on, Bode has become the doting older brother. He feeds Fat Kitty. Gives him kitty treats first thing in the morning. Fat Kitty always goes to Bode’s room first at bedtime.

Bode also gives Fat Kitty special treats. It drives Jamie NUTS to find little bowls of milk all over the house and he recently gave Bode a warning about it….which he ignored.

The next time he did it and Jamie kicked over the bowl, he gave him implicit instructions not to leave milk out for him anymore because it kept getting spilled.

I later asked Bode about it and his response? “What can I say? I’m a mess.”

I’m totally using that excuse for the rest of my life.

 

Filed Under: Bode, Humor

The Marriage Ref remembered

June 8, 2017 By

My Facebook memory for today: That time when NBC’s promos hit for the Marriage Ref.

Filed Under: Humor, Marriage Ref, pumpkins

The wrap on Hadley

June 7, 2017 By

As I’ve mentioned previously, the last few months in Hadley’s world have been tough. If you have any doubts what a nightmare middle school is for girls, watch this seventh grader’s poem that went viral about the pressures of seventh grade.

The good news is now that she’s removed from that social environment, we are seeing our beloved spitfire starting to reemerge. One of the results of her downward spiral were her grades–she went from the honor roll and feeling on top of the world the first two terms to a couple of Ds and several Cs as she struggled to turn her work in on time and stay on top of her exams. To her credit, she clawed her way out, ending up with all Bs and As but it reconfirmed that we need to hire a math tutor for eight grade because that was one of the triggers for a lot of her stress.

She got a phone and texting plan on her old iPod for her birthday and her first texts to me were 1) “Come get me” (during a lame assembly).  And 2), While I was mountain biking, I got several texts from her while she was at an end-of-year event at school: “I’m bored.” “Entertain me.” Because I had nothing better to do. 

She has put her love of art, drawing and painting on the backburner and has a new interest in photography. Her main Christmas present was a new Canon and since spring has sprung, she has become more excited about it (this is also likely related to her new Instagram account and desire to take good pictures).

I took this picture when she was a 2-day-old teen: She slept in until 1:30 pm and she didn’t notice the deer photobombers as she took her profile pic for her new Instagram account. P.S. Yes, that would be the Pumpkin Man in his patch even though he has been suffering with debilitating vertigo the last few days and I had to take him to the hospital clinic. BECAUSE EVEN IF YOU CAN’T WALK WITHOUT PUKING, PUMPKIN SEASON MUST GO ON.

She convinced me to let her skip the last half-day of school so we could go hiking on the WOW Trail. The kid knows how to manipulate me in the best ways. She somehow finagled herself a shopping trip to Park City to buy her new socks…and she came home with everything but socks.

I was working on an article for Discover Utah Magazine so Hadley had two zipline weekends in a row. The first was with the entire family at Adventure Zipline Utah, a super fun and casual canopy tour with plenty of adrenaline-charged moments. We were encouraged to do all kinds of zany stunts–our guides even did front flips off the platform!

Hadley’s adventure started during the 4×4 drive to the top of the course where she had to stand at the back of the vehicle, clip in her carabiner and hold on.

Those views of Mount Timpanogos aren’t bad, either!

The following weekend, Hadely and I conquered Zipline Utah overlooking Deer Creek. There are plenty of tour options available and we selected one of their more more extreme courses–8 ziplines and 2 suspension bridges. Our feet didn’t touch the ground the entire 2-hour tour as we flew from platform-to-platform, climbing lots of stairs. I wouldn’t recommend this tour for the beginner but we still had loads of fun, with the exception of the second-longest zipline on the course where I crash-landed on the platform. Not too fun and probably terrifying for our guide to see me careening toward him at 50 mph.

Suspension Bridge

 

Not recommended for those afraid of heights

That bad landing made us both nervous to try the Screaming Falcon, the longest zipline in the world over water–3/4 of a mile–but our guide assured us there was a different braking system on that zipline so we decided to go for it (especially after we saw on the guide’s DOG doing it; he even had his own harness!) We were apprehensive as they drove us to to the top of the mountain with the platform. Adventure Girl went first and it was a thrill to watch her disappear over water and it was my turn next. The sheer velocity made it difficult to catch my breath and I regretted not doing up my coat because it was flapping all around me.

Longest zipline in the world over water

But it was truly one of the most exhilarating things I’ve ever done!

One night for FHE, we let Hadley choose the FHE activity and what started as a casual stroll ended up having a 2,000-foot elevation gain. 

As I was limping down I commented, “Hiking and skiing are my favorite activities to do all together.”

She scoffed, “Together? You were like a mile behind me.”

Welcome back, Hadley.

Filed Under: Hadley, Humor, Uncategorized
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