The great lengths I go to when avoiding yoga

September 25, 2014 By

I’ve been vocal about my disdain for yoga. It’s not that I don’t see the physical and mental benefits of doing it (I actually think it would help Jamie’s back problems tremendously). It’s just T-E-D-I-O-U-S.

Of course, there are a few exceptions where yoga is tolerable. 1) It is in a beautiful mountain setting after a day of stand-up paddleboarding or 2) On the beach in Coronado, CA.

I know I said a few but I can’t think of a third example.

At the last minute, I decided to go to bootcamp at 6:30 a.m. When I arrived, the lights were off and I almost turned around thinking it was canceled. Then, I peered in, heard Enya music wafting, saw women doing the warrior pose and I raced outta there faster than you can say Namaste.

That’s Sanskrit for extreme distaste for yoga.

It was going to be 90 degrees so working out in town was not an option. I headed to the hills but last week, I hit the wall with hiking.  I desperately crave variety and I’ve subsequently explored pretty much every trail on the Front Range within 30 minutes from Denver countless times. But then I remembered a trail I’ve wanted to explore for over a year at Pence Park, which is the terminus to Bear Creek, one of my favorite network of trails.

So, here’s my hike summary:

Went to bootcamp and forgot it was yoga.

Walked out.

Hiked new trail.

It looked like this.

Where’s the trail?

It eventually ran out at an elderly man’s property.

He waved.

I called back to him for directions.

He was hard of hearing.

He gave me directions.

They were wrong.

After wandering on backcountry gravel road, he drove to find me.

Told me a different route and he’d take me there.

Hesitatingly got in the car.

Were old, deaf men with heart conditions axe murders?

Did not die.

Hiked on fake trail that was last maintained when this man was in his 20s.

Eventually looped back.

Discovered fall paradise.

Saw biker on the other side of the road.

Realized the real trail I should have taken was over there.

Drove over to old man’s house to thank him.

He did not answer the door so left a note.

As I was leaving, he spotted me from his window.

I shouted “thank you!”

He couldn’t hear me so responded, “talk to my wife!”

She came to the window so I repeated my message.

“I can’t hear you!”

She was deaf, too.

But at least I wasn’t one of the ungrateful 9 lepers.

Drove home.

Walked in the door.

Called to Jamie, “I got in the car with a strange man.”

Like usual, he didn’t flinch.

All 100% better than yoga.

====

Addendum: One week later, I finally hiked the real Pence Park so I have now done the entirety of the 8-mile Bear Creek Trail.

It was worth it.

Filed Under: Colorado, hiking, Humor, outdoors

Kenosha Pass: Colorado’s best place for fall colors?

September 23, 2014 By

Shortly after we moved into our house 10 years ago, our neighbors Lisa and Mike had just returned from mountain biking Kenosha Pass a.k.a. what they deemed “the most beautiful place in Colorado to see fall colors.”

It has taken us a decade but on Sunday, we finally made it!

Kenosha Pass wasn’t an easy victory. Church had just ended at noon, Jamie wanted to watch the Broncos vs. Seahawks showdown at 2:30 p.m., the kids begged to chill out for a couple of hours and the sky was threatening.

I knew Jamie wanted to go least of all but to his credit, he knew how much it meant to me so he rounded up the troops for the hour-long drive on U.S. Route 285.

When we got out of the car, Bode was emotionless, Jamie was counting down the minutes to the game and Hadley whined she was cold. “Let’s just stay for a little bit and then leave,” she suggested to Jamie.

Until we really arrived at Kenosha Pass. (I just wish my iPhone pictures did it justice).

Located atop a large granite batholith that forms the spine of the Front Range along the eastern side of South Park, Kenosha Pass is a part of the Colorado Trail. Colorado’s premier long-distance trail extends 500+ miles from Denver to Durango (read my adventures where the trail starts in Waterton Canyon) and this particular portion of the route is a cut of autumn heaven with swaths of endless aspen groves that look like golden pipe cleaners and staggering views of the Rocky Mountains and South Park valley.

Within moments, the kids were racing, climbing, exploring and laughing. I was initially disappointed by the brooding sky but Jamie observed, “If anything, the contrast illuminates the color of the trees and they look neon.”

He would know. He wore a jacket that made him an instant winner in our Camouflage game.

Accidental shot of a butt scratch

This South Park valley shot atop the boulder was much better

In typical Hadley fashion, she was ignited the moment she started exploring, begging us to go to the summit.

Jamie: “Do you realize that whenever you don’t want to do something and we make you do it anyway that you end up loving it?”

Hadley (sheepishly): “Yes.”

We still didn’t let her climb to the top.

This was one of my favorite photos I took as we were wandering back to the car. This shot of Kenosha Pass should be an album cover. The title would be “they whined about going and we couldn’t drag them away.”

 

Filed Under: Bode, Colorado, Family travel, Hadley, hiking, Humor, Jamie, travel

Colorado’s breath of fresh air at Alderfer/Three Sisters

September 20, 2014 By

Today was like a breath of fresh air. After our month-long road-trip to Canada in July, I needed a break from traveling and we have become relative homebodies as we’ve fallen into our back-to-school routine with Bode’s soccer, Hadley’s volleyball, me coaching another volleyball team, church activities and poor Jamie working all the time.

Even though we had a busy morning with games, the fall weather was 70-degree perfection and I bribed the kids that they could skip chores if they came to play with me in the mountains that afternoon.

This is also known as being a bigger kid than your kids.

So, while Jamie watched the BYU football game and worked, we headed to the hills. One of our favorite areas to explore is Alderfer/Three Sisters Park in Evergreen, Colo., which is a gorgeous 30-minute drive from our house. Fall colors are beginning to emerge and my gosh if our explorations didn’t make the three of us exuberantly happy. I don’t think we realized how much we needed that adventure until we started doing it.

Though we enjoy hiking the extensive network of trails, what we love most at Alderfer/Three Sisters is bouldering on the steep granite quartz blocks that are piled all around the park.  I’d be lying if it doesn’t make me a bit nervous for safety reasons but today, we achieved summit firsts on various formations and had a blast!! Hadley, as always, was our mountain goat while Bode was initially cautiously adventurous, weighing various drops as “Hmmm, it seems a bit risky.”

And me? I rested from climbing at one point and was just content to watch the kids explore. Until, that is, Hadley accused me of “needing to be more like J.D.’s Grandma.”

Now, normally when someone accuses you of being a grandma, they’re insulting you but she was goading me on to become like J.D.’s hardcore grandma who was a butt-kicker as we climbed the Great Sand Dunes National Parks’ highest peak.

I wanna be just like her in my 70s.

Hadley’s fuzzy picture of one of many mountain bluebirds

We discovered hidden pools in the rocks.  Bode bravely role-played he was on American Ninja Warrior’s Mount Midoriyama as he leaped over crevasses. Hadley squealed at the influx of mountain bluebirds on their namesake trail. We acted out Y-M-C-A as our shadows projected onto our craggy movie screen. The afternoon sky burned blue and gold leaves whispered in the wind as we climbed our granite islands amidst a sea of Ponderosa pine and meadows.

After a couple of hours, Hadley was just getting warmed up and could have explored all day but I tempted them with ice cream and she took the bait for the second time that day (no chores and ice cream?)

Evergreen was bustling with activity and prior to getting our ice cream, we opted to stop into Seasonally Yours Evergreen Taffy Co. and Fresh Fudge for the first time. We spent an hour exploring this colorful, funky and fun shop that had everything from toys to novelty items to candy to the most gorgeous decorations.

After Hadley and Bode devoured birthday cake fudge and pumpkin ice cream, we raced down the serpentine Bear Creek Canyon with windows down, music blasting and the kids’ feet out the window.

Dare I say it was the perfect afternoon?

As we drove into Denver, we passed one of the few places we have yet to explore in Green Mountain. Hadley queried, “Mom, why haven’t we hiked there?”

My heart sang a little more because of her love for the outdoors. It doesn’t matter where I am in the world, if I see a trail all I want to do is climb it.

And today we achieved some incredible summits.

 

Filed Under: Bode, Colorado, Family travel, Hadley, hiking, Humor, outdoors Tagged With: ,

On raising the class flirt

September 17, 2014 By

Last spring during Hadley’s class camping trip to the Sand Dunes, I learned a little somethin’: Hadley is that girl who likes to tease the boys.

I was never that girl. In fact if there was a boy I liked, I was so nervous around them that I’d usually resort to corporal punishment. As you can imagine, that made me realllly popular with the boys.

It’s no wonder I didn’t get married until my 30s.

But much to our mortification, Hadley has that teasing and flirting thing down in fifth grade.

The other day, I saw her swipe J.D.’s (the cutest boy in class) backpack and dump it on a pile of manure.

Her defense? “He did it to my skirt!”

Then, her new teacher actually had to issue a ban on her putting grasshoppers down the boys’ shirts. We had a good talking to about appropriate behavior and I thought we had gotten through to her.

But then came the kicker the other day. “Hadley was pinching my butt today,” tattled a boy in our carpool.

I couldn’t believe it but later that night, we had another chat.

“Is it true you’re pinching boys’ butts?”

“You told me to stop putting grasshoppers down people’s shirts. But you didn’t tell me to stop pinching their butts.”

Her teenage years might just do me in.

Filed Under: Hadley, Humor

When your daughter conspires with the enemy

September 15, 2014 By

I went through two horrendously awkward years. The unfortunate thing about it was I had no idea just how goofy I looked. In fact, I thought I was Queen Bee and gosh darn it if I wasn’t at the top of my class in academics and sports in fifth and sixth grade.

It’s just my appearance that was severely lacking.

Frizzy hair? Check.

Geek glasses? Check.

Tacky ’80s clothes? Check.

I have justifiably burned most pictures from those years but my brothers have held onto a few gems for blackmail purposes (my brother Jade posted the above picture on Facebook a couple of years ago).

During my courtship with Jamie, I lived in Salt Lake City while he was in Denver.  When we got engaged, Jade dug into his secret stash and sent one of said Horrendous Pictures to Jamie. And being the horrid person that he is, he enlarged one of them, attached a “Welcome Home” sign and taped it to the front door the first time I ever came to his condo.

Jamie claims he could hear my blood-gurgling scream from the hallway.

When I was in Calgary over the summer, I went through some old boxes containing church manuals and magazines. I was thrilled when I discovered this treasure that was given to my mom by her beloved mother.

I love the inscription; Grandma always had such beautiful handwriting.

“Dear Chris, I hope you enjoy the book for your family home evening lessons. Love, Mother.”

My family loves snuggling up and reading the scriptures every night so I asked my mom if I can could carry on this tradition. What I love about this book is it is beautifully illustrated but also contains real scriptural passages (versus being summarized/paraphrased). I think it’s so important for kids to learn to understand scriptural language vs. just the stories because there is power and a strong spirit behind it.

So, what does this have to do with Hadley? As we were settling down to read the scriptures, I discovered something inserted into the book lo-and-behold, it was my seventh grade class picture. I was at the tail end of the geek years–I’d chopped my hair and the following year I got contact lenses so I was almost quasi-cool.

I won’t mention the trauma of how my mom liked my asymmetrical cut so much she got the identical style.

Hadley squealed, grabbed the picture and said, “I MUST DO SOMETHING WITH THIS!”

Even my sweet Bode turned against me. “Did you really look like that?”

I only wish I was dressed up for Halloween, Dude.

All was forgotten until I returned to my bedroom and discovered Hadley’s creation.

Now I’m just waiting for Fat Kitty to turn against me.

Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, Humor, Jamie

When you’re begging to be sent to timeout

September 10, 2014 By

We’ve had a roller-coaster history with timeout.

During Hadley’s obstinate stage (ages 18 months-4 years) it was her second home. What a lovely dwelling that corner by the laundry room has become since we added Fat Kitty’s kitty littler box to the mix four years ago.

Talk about the ultimate punishment.

Since Bode is Mr. “Do What Is Right,” he didn’t have any marathon sessions in timeout but on the rare occasion he landed in the Corner of Shame, he was so broken about disobeying us that he would just sob.  Have you ever tried to discipline a sensitive kid? Trust me, you come out feeling like you’re the bad guy.

We really haven’t used timeout as punishment in a really long while because, for the most part, both kids are pretty well-behaved and there are certainly more effective ways of disciplining them as they grow older.

The other day, Hadley did something mean to Bode and instinctively, I ordered her to timeout. You know, for old time’s sake.

Timeout?” she scoffed. “Aren’t I a little bit old for timeout?”

“You’re right, you just lost technology time.”

“I take it back. Timeout sounds just fine.”

Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, Humor

The bright side of being a slob

September 9, 2014 By

Blurry Bode trying to keep me from taking a picture of his messy room.

For the most part, we keep our house tidy.

However, encouraging the kids to keep their rooms clean is a losing battle with the exception of making their beds, which they’re pretty good at doing most of the time.

Their actual rooms are another matter. Bode is the messiest and isn’t allowed to have any technology time until his homework is done and room is clean. This works great in the summer when I’m more lax on our schedule but during the school year, I only let him play video games twice a week.

Which means his room is only clean for a very small window twice a week.

The other night as I was putting him to bed, I commented on his messy room.

He carefully looked around, shrugged his shoulders and said, “At least you have a pathway to my bed.”

Filed Under: Bode, Humor

I left my heart (and a psycho dude) in San Francisco

August 26, 2014 By

When I heard BlogHer was in San Jose, my first thought was I’d slip away one evening and pop over to San Francisco, which is one of my favorite cities in the world. When I was 16 years old, my mom and her business partner Lin owned a gift/shop tea room. They thought it would be fun to bring Lin’s daughter and me along on one of their buying conventions. While they worked, Janelle and I played in San Francisco before we all explored the Napa Valley and Carmel. I fell in love love love with Northern California!

But here’s the deal: I was delusional thinking I could “pop over to San Francisco” and getting there is half the battle from San Jose. Fortunately, I had an entire day before the conference to explore.

I had a few options: 1) Take a cab, which would have cost a minor fortune for the 50-mile commute. 2) Rent a vehicle. Another pricy option and driving in a foreign-to-me city by myself is never a good thing. Plus, have you seen those hills?  3) Take the Caltrain. Though it had a lot of stops and took an hour and a half, it was by far the least expensive of my options.

The Caltrain station was about a mile from our hotel, which I figured was no problem. It was a lovely day and a chance to explore San Jose.

As it turns out there really wasn’t much in San Jose’s conference district. There were a couple of cool shopping/restaurant areas but the parks and bike trails I’d hoped to explore later were dirty, rundown and inner city. The day after I flew back to Utah, someone was murdered outside of the Tech Museum of Innovation and the Fairmont Hotel, right near my hotel.

Note to self: do not wander San Jose after dark.

I found the Caltrain fairly easily but it took me a while to figure out what train and stop I should take (heaven forbid they should actually have people working at the kiosks). I eventually figured it out and settled in for the 1.5-hour ride. I had forgotten how entertaining it is to people-watch in California. A loud woman sat across from me and proceeded to do her morning make-up routine. That was just swell until she whipped out her deodorant and other personal hygiene items.

It only got better. When I disembarked at the Caltrain’s final stop, I still had a 4-mile walk to Pier 39. No problem again! I would stroll along the Embarcadero, the eastern waterfront and roadway of the Port of San Francisco.

I was minding my own business basking in the views of the San Francisco Bay when a crazy black dude started following me. I tried to brush him off but he was persistent. He was about my size (read: short) and walking his bike with a broken chain. Though he babbled incoherently (I wasn’t sure if he was drunk or mentally ill), I figured I was in a public place and he seemed harmless enough so I let him walk with me, brushing off his advances.

Crazaaay dude behind the sculpture

He’d been trailing me for a good two miles when something triggered within him. He stopped and I kept walking. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw him walk over to the water’s edge, pick up his bike and fling it into the water.

You’d better believe I got outta there like a bat out of hell. No way I’d be his next chucking-into-the-bay victim.

I finally arrived at Pier 39 after about an hour. My knee was starting to feel sore after walking 5 miles but my gosh if that place wasn’t hopping. I know it’s blatantly touristy but I love exploring Fisherman’s Wharf!

Lunch on the Wharf

Token selfie

Sunbathing sea lions

I had planned to hop on a cable car to Union Square and then take a cab back to catch the Caltrain but there were lines everywhere and I knew I’d be waiting at least an hour. My knee was throbbing so I knew walking another 5 miles would render me incapacitated for the conference. I’d just talked to Jamie who told me to watch our $$ because he was waiting on some clients to pay so I didn’t want to spring for a cab.

Then, I had a stroke of genius: the Bay Area Bike Share! There are rental stations all over the city for a nominal charge so I hopped on one of these baby blues and cruised back to the Caltrain station. Why hadn’t I thought of this in the first place?

P.S. Don’t tell my mom I was biking San Francisco’s gnarly streets without a helmet.

Once back in San Jose, I grabbed another bike (my rental fee was good for 24 hours) and rode it back near my hotel. It was an exhausting, exhilarating day and though it made me miss traveling solo, I resolved I couldn’t wait to take my family back to San Francisco and experience it all.

Minus mentally-unstable-stalker types.

Filed Under: Humor, travel

The mouseketeer of the Dark Ages

August 25, 2014 By

Today at Mile High Mamas, I’m doing a throwback to the Dark Ages. Long before there was technology, enlightenment and potty trained kids.

Consider yourself warned about these dark, dark times.

A potty training descent into hell and the realization I am not above bribing a mouse

Filed Under: Humor

Why you should totally NOT feel sorry for Hadley

August 17, 2014 By

Do you remember my previous post about Hadley’s rocky reentry into the real world after a month-long vacation and most recently getting spoiled by Grandma J.?

One of her complaints was about her eensy-weensy twin bed. I blow off first-world whining like that. I didn’t get my first queen-sized bed until I was in my late-20s and wasn’t going to run out and buy her a bigger bed. I figured when she was a teenager, it would be great to upgrade to a Queen so we could boot her out of it when we have guests.

Case in point: my parents stayed with us last week and I certainly couldn’t have them stay on the twin bed in my office that doesn’t even have a bed frame. So, Jamie and I gladly gave up our bedroom and slept on the couch in the basement.

But then two days later, my friend Ratna posted on Facebook that she was giving away a queen-sized bed. I hesitated. What kind of message would that give to Hadley if she whined and I delivered? The last thing I want is an entitled, spoiled tween.

Then I remembered how I really don’t want to sleep on the couch again so I jumped on it. We’ll buy a headboard and new bedding later.

Fat Kitty & Hadley, sitting on a bed

She, of course, was thrilled.  But part of “earning” the bed was helping me move her old one to my office/spare bedroom and finish decorating it while also cleaning out the disaster zone under her bed.

In the end, everyone is happy. Hadley has a bigger bed, Jamie and I have something to sleep on the next time the grandparents come, my den has an actual bed for my friend Vikki who’s coming to visit this week and it didn’t cost us a dime.

“It’s not really my fault,” she defended, referring to the mess under her bed.

“Oh really? I’d like to hear why not?”

“It’s like there’s a magnet and everything just ends up under there.”

Just think how many more treasures that “magnet” will attract under a queen-sized bed.

Filed Under: Hadley, Humor
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