It’s Christmas Eve in the City

When Jamie announced “we’re staying in Denver for Christmas,” I admittedly wasn’t too thrilled.  What on earth would we do for 2.5 weeks when we could be using that precious time off from school to travel?

As it turns out, plenty. We’ve been so busy in recent years going from grandparent-to-grandparent that our kids have no memories of Christmas day in our own home. Though we had a wonderful time in Utah last year with Jamie’s clan–and there is nothing in the world as fun as my family’s uproarious Christmas Eve–it was nice to actually be home to receive the onslaught of cards and treats from our generous friends throughout the week. We’ve been playing with them non-stop and it warms my heart to have such a cohesive ward family that is our family away from home.

It has also been my least stressful Christmas ever.  When my parents visited last month, I sent their gifts home early with them and I completed 99% of our shopping during my many excursions with my mom. On Christmas Eve day, all that was left to do was clean up and bake a bit and we went for a beautiful walk and skimmed rocks on the icy pond.

That night, the Cardons (a new family from our ward) invited several people over for a fantastic feast and plenty of fun Minute to Win It Games. In this picture, the kids are trying to flip a Rudolph pom-pom onto their Vaseline-greased nose.

Minute to Win It is just a nice way of  humiliating yourself publicly.

Case in point: panty hose antlers. We were divided up into families and the challenge was to blow up 10 balloons, stuff them in panty hose, put the “antlers” on someone’s head and belt out “Jingle Bells.”

We won. Or maybe by the looks of this picture, we were the goofball losers.

An awesomely fun night was topped off by a gift exchange and the kids performing the Nativity. For years, Hadley has been vying to be Mary (remember the Mary Mother of Jesus Take-down from last year?) And of course, several other girls wanted to be Mary as well. To make it fair, we drew names and I was relieved when Hadley won, for the sole reason she can stop bugging us every year about it.

All the boys (including Bode) wanted to be wisemen and I bribed another one of them to be our token shepherd. I usually have to coax a boy to be Joseph because, let’s face it, being married to a girl is pretty gross. I was surprised when Hadley’s arch nemesis Bryan (whom she endlessly loves to torment) volunteered. I didn’t bother to point out to either of them that it actually meant they were husband and wife.

Hadley bonded more with donkey Addison than she did Joseph


Our whirlwind night was topped off by opening our Christmas PJs when we arrived home.

Christmas PJs with Elves on the Shelf photobomb

And Hadley had waited to intentionally pull our her tooth so the Tooth Fairy and Santa would have to work overtime.

Because Santa didn’t have enough going on that night.

Merry Christmas!

If you read my blog, our annual holiday newsletter is old news to you. But I assure you, Fat Kitty has never looked better.

Merry Christmas!

If 2014 could be summed up quickly, it would be non-stop travels for the first six months and the other six were spent recovering with little/no travels. We’re so grateful for both and most importantly that we have had minimal health crises this year and no hospital visits (wood is currently being knocked).

Our year was unprecedented for travel and will likely never be repeated but what a blast we had! I attended a media event in Denver for the Maui Convention & Visitor’s Bureau and was thrilled when I won a trip for two! The coincidence? The only other time I’ve been to Hawaii was when my dad won a trip for two to Hawaii through work. Fortunately for my siblings and our kids, we let them tag along and truly fell in love with that island paradise as it was our favorite trip ever (see all the fun here)and I’m now moderately obsessed with buying a cabin there someday.

Just as we were recovering from Maui, I was asked to attend the Disney Social Media Moms, an invite-only, highly-sought-after conference at Disneyland so we decided to splurge. And Disneyland isn’t the same without family so we surprised the kids by waking them up the morning of our departure. For once, they did not complain about being woken up early.

One of our favorite ways to play is skiing and this past year we’ve been to Breckenridge, Steamboat Springs, Crested Butte, Copper Mountain and Park City Mountain Resort...and have many more ski trips planned for 2015. One of our favorite experiences was dog sledding for the first time in Breck!

And, of course, the kids and I spent our month-long vacation in Canada and the Western United States. Jamie joined us for a week at the lake with my family in Vernon, B.C. and we had a fantastic time boating. Usually our Canadian adventures are a reprieve from Denver’s searing heat so we won’t comment how it was actually cooler in Denver during our lake retreat.

Now, onto family matters.

Hadley (age 10, fifth grade)

Hadley grew leaps and bounds this year…literally. Her huge growth spurt over the summer launched her to the top of the class in height and continues to send us scrambling to replace all her clothes, which is challenging because she hates 99% of what she sees in the store. She has a wicked sense of humor and a large group of friends at church and school. She hates math and piano and enjoys handwork, travel, art, violin, pumpkin growing (hers weighed 401 pounds), Minecraft and crafts. Her favorite class trip ever was a three-day class camping trip to the Great Sand Dunes National Park where she was the second-fastest kid to summit the highest dune in North America (a bit perplexing because she’s always the first-slowest when it comes to leaving the house). For volleyball, we bumped her up to play with the 6-8 graders and she has had no problems keeping up the big girls. She’s a mountain goat hiker and is ready to be challenged on the big peaks (we just need to get our act together to take her), is moderately obsessed with bouldering and is constantly heckling the rest of us to keep up with her during her crazy traverses. She’s a great skier, is learning to tackle the moguls and we had a fabulous mother-daughter trip to the slopes in February during her school break. She loves the water and, despite her protests to try wakeboarding, popped up on her first try and now does it like a champ. Though she and Bode would never admit it, they’re besties and play wonderfully together 93 percent of the time; no comment on the other 7 percent nor who is the instigator for the fall-outs.

Bode (age 8, 3rd grade)

Bode’s big news is he got baptized in August surrounded by both sets of grandparents. He’s a happy, kind and thoughtful kid who has two emotions: joyful (most of the time) and sensitive (usually during the aforementioned fall-outs). He’s a whiz at math and a regular receiver of “Star Awards” at school yet has barely legible handwriting. He is recovering from an addiction to Calvin and Hobbes and Clash of Clans and he thrives on being responsible–he even sets his alarm early for school so he can be “extra-prepared.” For his eighth birthday, we threw him a surprise party where we hired Rolling Video Games Denver to come to the house and we invited all his friends for a two-hour video game marathon that was deemed “the best party ever.” He’s intrinsically more cautious than his sister but battled his fears and did an awesome job wakeboarding, cross-country skiing and a high-ropes course for the first time. Named after Bode Miller, he continues to rock the ski slopes and went on one of his first mogul run last week. When I asked him it was terrifying, he confessed, “A little bit,” and I can’t blame him because I sometimes feel the same way. He plays the piano non-stop, enjoyed growing his 325-pound pumpkin, loves Cub Scouts and is gearing up for his first Pinewood Derby where it will be revealed just how competitive his father really is. Bode went on his first six-day overnight camp to Camp Chief Ouray with Hadley last summer and had the time of his life. As smart as he is, he still puts his shirt on backwards but loves to snuggle up so I’m relieved he’s not growing up too fast, even if he sometimes acts like a responsible 40-year-old man in an 8-year-old body.

Jamie

The Pumpkin Man had his his worst pumpkin-growing year ever and lost both of his plants to yellow vine disease in August. Despite that setback, he was able to preserve one of them long enough to make it to the scale and it topped 500 pounds. We were sad we wouldn’t have a real giant pumpkin to display so rescued his buddy Joe’s from being axed and it just happened to be the biggest grown in Colorado this year. Jamie had a blast taking the pumpkins around to the area schools and had a ton of media interviews–he was even featured front page on The Denver Post’s YourHub. But his most memorable pumpkin moment was when he decided it would be fun to dress up as The Pumpkin Man, hide inside the pumpkin, and terrorize trick-or-treaters on Halloween. Fortunately no law suits were filed and we only had one casualty when he made Spiderman cry (watch the hilarious video here). His web development business continues to add more people to the team and we’re grateful business is growing (unfortunately so do his stress levels). At church, he’s the Stake Technology Clerk and the Priest’s Quorum Adviser but most importantly, a wonderful husband, father and mortal enemy to superheroes.

Amber

As for me, I continue to juggle trips, kid’s activities and working from home. I’ve taken over the business/advertising side of Mile High Mamas, which has confirmed I’d much rather be writing. And traveling. And hiking or skiing. But unfortunately, I haven’t figured out how to make much money from those exploits so in the interim I’ll just dream of more playtime. I’ve become more of a regular contributor on 9News and have done segments on everything from travel tips to Halloween treats to their ugly sweater Christmas party on Friday. I was released as the Primary pianist at church and am on my way out the door for Public Affairs as I’ve been called as an Akela of the Cub Scout Bear Den. I am also an aspiring dodgeball player and if this writing gig doesn’t work out, I hope to go pro in the future.

Fat Kitty

Fat Kitty is the only serious one in the family. In addition to napping for 23 hours a day, he enjoys decapitating the occasional mouse, eating grass until he pukes and annoying Jamie. He also decided to get in shape this year and his favorite exercise is a cross between a lunch and a crunch.

Some people call it lunch.

Christmas Wishes

This time of year, we’re especially grateful for our many friends, family and for our our Savior. Have the happiest of Christmases is our Christmas wish and gift to you!

 

Love,

The Johnsons

Wishing you a lice-free Christmas!

Usually I spend at least two days baking Christmas goodies for all our neighbors and friends. However, since we were sick last week and I had done a lot of baking for my 9News segment the week before, I was all baked out.

That is just a nice way of saying I am half-baked.

So, I only made a couple of batches of almond rocha and caramel toffee squares to distribute to a few families with whom we usually exchange gifts.  On Sunday night, we watched The Nativity Story and then drove around looking at Christmas lights. Upon the recommendation of my friend Jenn, we stumbled upon a new favorite at 8300 Balsam Street (for locals to check-out). This picture doesn’t even do it justice. The grandson told us his grandma has been doing this light display for 17 years and hand-makes all the wooden structures. To the right of the driveway, there are several more animated figurines…the whole thing defines Christmas magic.

We were so inspired we went home and watched National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Me thinks The Pumpkin Man needs to step it up next year.

As we were delivering treats, we always belt out “We wish you a Merry Christmas” because what brings more joy than off-key caroling? When our friend Meredith came to the door, she said her daughter had been bugging her to do the same thing as us “because those Johnsons have such a fun tradition.”

It’s like we’re the Christmas Spirit Incarnate.

I didn’t divulge that I’ve spent the last few weeks murmuring about Denver’s too-balmy weather, citing “Even The Grinch had a White Christmas!”

Our final stop was to some of our dearest friends. They had stayed home from church due to a rumored lice outbreak. And if anyone knows lice, it’s me. As they opened the door, we belted out, “We wish you a lice-less Christmas” as we donned our gay apparel lice-protective headgear.

After all, friends with “head afflictions” should not be exempt from our Christmas cheer.

Fat Kitty’s Conspiracy Plan

One of the nice things about having my parents come visit last month is that my Christmas shopping has been done for weeks. Sure, I inwardly whined and complained about being dragged from store-to-store by my mom because I hate shopping but you just have to learn to suck it up for people you love. And shopping is what she loves.

Despite my best intentions to hide all our presents in one place, it never fails that I “misplace” at least one item.  Jamie gives me C-R-A-P about it every year because it’s usually his gift. In my defense, I eventually find it, even if it’s five months after the fact.

This year, I’ve misplaced some stocking stuffers, which isn’t overly suspicious but the other missing gift has raised some red flags. I cannot find the gift that Fat Kitty got Jamie: the book, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You. I suspect foul play.

He pleads the fifth.

 

 

The (Puking, Clutzy) Christmas Carolers

Christmas caroling with the Cub Scouts at the retirement home was a success!

Well, if you don’t count the boy who dropped the cookies.

Or the one who almost threw up.

Otherwise, we were The Spirit of Christmas Incarnate.

My Ugly Sweater Coming Out Party

For years, I have wanted to go to an Ugly Sweater Party so imagine how delighted I was when I was invited to 9News’ fete. I mean, to debut my first first ugly sweater on television is quite the coming out party!

The problem came when I tried to track down an ugly Christmas sweater at the local thrift store. The selection had been picked through so I opted for the most gaudy sweater I could find but tread very carefully. After all, one woman’s ugly sweater is another’s treasure. I bought some tacky ornaments to glue gun onto the sweater but crafts and textiles aren’t exactly my forté so I hesitatingly asked my husband if he thought I could pull it off.

“If anyone call make an ugly sweater, it’s you, Amber.”

He was joking. I think.

And yes, I find it ironic that the photographer completely cut out my ugly sweater in this photograph.

Taming the Shrew: Revisited

At the bottom of each of my blog posts, it pulls in a few links for past blog posts. Most of the them I can figure out what they are just from the title but this one from June 2008 had me stumped so I clicked through. With a tittle like “Taming the Shrew,” how could I resist?

Jamie, as usual, did not disappoint.

I am on Week 2 of my battle with the plague. I started to feel better so stopped taking my antibiotics.

Because evidently I thought having a relapse and revisiting my nightmare was better than taking a tiny pill two times a day.

I still feel terribly guilty that I missed the backpacking trip, especially due to all the hard work I put into it. Leading up to the trek was a whirlwind of meetings, packing, a practice hike, shopping, food prep and more meetings. Our fellow adult leaders–Joe and Jeanette–are pillars of the community and were saviors for my sanity as we finalized the last-minute details. As the parents of 10 amazing children, they know organization…and kids.

Jamie was absolutely swamped at work so I did most of the preparations. We had planned to drive up to Frisco for a popular BBQ competitionthe weekend prior to the trek but determined we just wouldn’t have time to do it.

Or so I thought until Jamie approached me.

“Amber, I was thinking about heading up to Frisco for the competition.”

“Errrr, Jamie? We are doing a practice run for setting up the tents, distributing the food and helping them pack their backpacks on Saturday.”

“So?”

“SO, DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!”

“What? Why not?”

“We have so much to do! And have you noticed that Joe has been Jeanette’s right-hand man throughout this entire process and has continuously stepped in to help her while you have done NOTHING?”

“There, there, Amber. That’s because Jeanette is only half the woman you are.”

Crested Butte: A glimpse at my favorite place in Colorado

skiselfie It has been almost a decade since I fell in love with Crested Butte and three years since our last visit which, considering it is my favorite Colorado mountain town, is a rather shameful confession. And with some recent changes for the 2014-15 season, my love has only grown deeper.

Surrounded on three sides by four wilderness areas—Raggeds, West Elk, Maroon Bells-Snowmass and Collegiate Peaks— if the outer-world beauty isn’t worth the drive, the deals are. Kids 12 and under ski free at Crested Butte Mountain Resort (CBMR) until December 18, 2014 and kids six and under ski free all season. Also, the Crested Butte Nordic Center is offering free rentals AND skiing for kids 17 and under all season 

I’m generally not an early-season skier but since my kids’ getting-an-education-schtick is putting a serious cramp in our adventures, my family travels whenever we have vacation time and that meant Thanksgiving. And I’m so glad we did because my love affair was reignited with the best opening day conditions the resort has seen in years. That, coupled with an awesome Adventure Park, an epic Nordic skiing adventure and glorious food make Crested Butte the perfect kick-off to ski season.

Click to keep reading about our awesome Thanksgiving that included my Brussels Sprout binge (no apologies here), corny ski school jokes, marvelous mocktails, the prettiest view in Colorado and much, much more.

The Paradise Divide

 

 

Just call me “DodgeGirl”

For Fun Friday at Front Range Bootcamp, we played dodgeball and were told we had to do 50 burpees if we hit someone in the face.

On my very first throw, my victim ducked and I hit her smack in the noggin.

Apparently I’m still *that* kid after all these years.

I posted the above picture of me on social media and the responses were hilarious, particularly those who thought it was actually me in action. Sorry, folks. It was more like:

My infamous onion-chopping goggles

 

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A hubby who is very good at Photoshop.

My friend Jenny told me it was her favorite picture ever of me and that “I would not want to be on any team opposing you” to which I responded:

“You’re not the first to say that. I was a really aggressive soccer player. When we were handing out jerseys, no one wanted to be 13 ‘because it was unlucky.’ I grabbed the jersey and deemed ‘I’ll be unlucky for the other teams’ and that was my number forever after.”

And make sure to watch out for me on the dodgeball court.

“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire:” When you are the chestnut

Like many of you, I have a lot brewing these next weeks. On Monday at Front Range Boot Camp, my coach asked us who was stressed out.

“Not me!” I joyously replied. “I’ve got most of my shopping done and deadlines met.”

Then I went home to my post-holiday inbox. Denial can only last for so long.

A few updates:

  • My parents were in town for several days for my mom’s surgery and fingers are crossed it will give her some reprieve. We had a wonderful time during their visit and I did more shopping with my mom than I’ve done in a year. Hence the reason I’m already finished shopping for Christmas. Gift-wrapping is another entirely different matter and I’ll spare you the visual of my den, which looks like a bomb went off.
  • My family had an amazing time in Crested Butte for Thanksgiving. Stay tuned for details on this amazing place. And yes, I’m still obsessed with having a cabin there or in Maui.  Or both. A girl can dream, right?
  • Hadley’s clueless teacher and interim principal are causing me MAJOR stress and I’ve been *this* close to pulling her (I’m sure I’ll write a detailed rant about the entire frustrating situation). Oh, and the principal at Bode’s school quit this week so there are great things going down in Jeffco Schools. I’m touring a new charter school for Hadley today but I’m really hoping we don’t have to switch because I’m already losing sleep about everything.
  • My dad’s birthday is Saturday and Jamie’s is on Tuesday. I’m so grateful to have two stable, awesome men in my life when I obviously am not.
  • Our kids’ main Christmas present was a trampoline. My dear friends Jennie and Jared have been staying with us during some work-related drama since their move to Colorado a  month ago. Now, they’re Texas-bound looking for work but before leaving, they showed up at our house “to serve” and spent the next several hours setting up that trampoline. My dad also offered to setup the trampoline but couldn’t fit it in before they drove back to Canada. Lesson learned: we need more house guests because they get stuff done.
  • I’m volunteering at our local Santa House on Friday, which provides gifts for underprivileged kids in our community. I wish I could volunteer every day leading up to Christmas because it’s a wonderful reminder of how blessed we truly are. And that the chaos really is worth it.
  • I’ve become 9News’ go-to expert on all-things mom and have been doing a ton of live segments lately. Next week, I’ll be talking about holiday snacks for kids. And experimenting. And doing a lot of eating.
  • We invited a bunch of Hadley’s first to see the documentary “I am 11.” It almost made me wish I was 11 again…until I remembered what I looked like.
  • I’ve been a very bad blogger and have barely blogged anything the last few months. Did you know I flew to Utah in October for my 20-year mission reunion to Geneva, Switzerland and had the most amazing girl’s weekend with some of my dearest friends. Oh, wait. You wouldn’t know because I haven’t written about it.
  • I love that the kids have had minimal commitments in the evenings and we’ve been spending so much quality time together. Our latest obsession: I taught them the card game “Speed” and I am the undisputed champion. Bode even begged me to let him win so “Dad and Hadley will be impressed.” Sorry, Dude. I let them get ahead in many games but I am the Speed Queen.
  • I’ve declined more invitations than I’m accepted over the next few weeks and I’m still overloaded. This is why we should not wait until after Thanksgiving to celebrate the holidays. Three weeks is too little time to cram everything in. DO YOU HEAR THAT, AMERICANS?!
  • Next week, we’re celebrating Jamie’s birthday, have his company holiday lunch, the kids’ piano recital, Bode has Monday off, I have a Relief Society holiday dinner, our ward Christmas party, my 9News segment and much, much more.

“Much, much more” is just a nice way of saying “There’s a lot more but I’ve already forgotten what it is.”

Denial is a beautiful thing.