It’s her party but I cried cuz I wanted to

June 10, 2010 By

I survived Hadley’s sixth birthday party. Barely.

I decided to forgo a home-based bash and rented out the local sports center in an effort to reduce my stress level.

Oh, how delusional I was.

I am no stranger to event crisis management. I worked as a publicist for many years and was in charge of a huge celebration for Salt Lake City’s symphony hall. At the last minute, the symphony pulled out due to contract disputes. You know: the guests of honor. In a pinch, I got the world-famous Mormon Tabernacle Choir to perform.

A wee bit nerve-wracking?

Hosting a party and entertaining 25 kids at an alternative venue was exponentially more ulcer-inducing.

I had rented out the gymnastics hall for an hour and then planned to take the kids to the adjacent park outside to eat cake and play games. The first glitch came immediately upon arrival when the normally vacant lawn area was flooded with beer-drinking, boom-box-toting revelers.

That was freak-out No. 1.

For those who want to keep track, just know this is the last time I will attempt to enumerate them all.

I sent my husband on a mission to find an alternate venue and he ascertained the east playground was the next best alternative.

We turned our attentions to chaperoning the kids in the gym. I’ll admit I expected them to play tag, cautiously inch across the balance beam and sing Kumbaya. What I did not anticipate: kids launching off the high bar. Scaling the rope swing to the ceiling. Attempting back flips off the vault.

If that was not enough cause for concern, the outside partiers descended upon our space to use the bathroom. A drunken woman even offered to escort one of the kids. That was just prior to the strange boy who wandered in and started playing at the party.

I think he has a future as a “Wedding Crasher.”

I was relieved when we moved outside. Jamie and his sister Lisa had transitioned the presents to the pavilion. When Lisa went back inside to grab her purse a few minutes later, the staffer at the Garrison Street Center had already locked up for the evening.

As we dealt with that fiasco, a few helpful parents and I juggled the 25 kids. When it came time to sing “Happy Birthday,” I realized I was on the wrong side of the picnic table to photograph Hadley blowing out the candles. I raced around the pavilion and as I was passing the end of the picnic table, my purse strap got caught and yanked me back.

Think My Big Fat Greek Wedding when Toula’s headset caused her demise at the travel agency.

I barely made it in time to capture one quick photograph of Hadley with the cake. I chalked it up to just another day living my Murphy’s Law. Really, the worst thing that happened was when I thought I lost one of the children.

Though when you think of it, 1 out of 25 ain’t bad.

Filed Under: birthday, Hadley

It’s Her Party But I Cried Cuz I Wanted To

June 10, 2010 By

I survived Hadley’s sixth birthday party. Barely.

I decided to forgo a home-based bash and rented out the local sports center in an effort to reduce my stress level.

Oh, how delusional I was.

I am no stranger to event crisis management. I worked as a publicist for many years and was in charge of a huge celebration for Salt Lake City’s symphony hall. At the last minute, the symphony pulled out due to contract disputes. You know: the guests of honor. In a pinch, I got the world-famous Mormon Tabernacle Choir to perform.

A wee bit nerve-wracking?

Hosting a party and entertaining 25 kids at an alternative venue was exponentially more ulcer-inducing.

I had rented out the gymnastics hall for an hour and then planned to take the kids to the adjacent park outside to eat cake and play games. The first glitch came immediately upon arrival when the normally vacant lawn area was flooded with beer-drinking, boom-box-toting revelers.

That was freak-out No. 1.

For those who want to keep track, just know this is the last time I will attempt to enumerate them all.

I sent my husband on a mission to find an alternate venue and he ascertained the east playground was the next best alternative.

We turned our attentions to chaperoning the kids in the gym. I’ll admit I expected them to play tag, cautiously inch across the balance beam and sing Kumbaya. What I did not anticipate: kids launching off the high bar. Scaling the rope swing to the ceiling. Attempting back flips off the vault.

If that was not enough cause for concern, the outside partiers descended upon our space to use the bathroom. A drunken woman even offered to escort one of the kids. That was just prior to the strange boy who wandered in and started playing at the party.

I think he has a future as a “Wedding Crasher.”

I was relieved when we moved outside. Jamie and his sister Lisa had transitioned the presents to the pavilion. When Lisa went back inside to grab her purse a few minutes later, the staffer at the Garrison Street Center had already locked up for the evening.

As we dealt with that fiasco, a few helpful parents and I juggled the 25 kids. When it came time to sing “Happy Birthday,” I realized I was on the wrong side of the picnic table to photograph Hadley blowing out the candles. I raced around the pavilion and as I was passing the end of the picnic table, my purse strap got caught and yanked me back.

Think My Big Fat Greek Wedding when Toula’s headset caused her demise at the travel agency.

I barely made it in time to capture one quick photograph of Hadley with the cake. I chalked it up to just another day living my Murphy’s Law. Really, the worst thing that happened was when I thought I lost one of the children.

Though when you think of it, 1 out of 25 ain’t bad.

Filed Under: birthday, Hadley

Summer Lovin’ as The Pumpkin Widow

June 8, 2010 By

Our summer is off to a rip-roarin’ start!

On the first day of our vacation, we went to Lakecrest Park, a new-to-me wonderland where we climbed trees, explored trails, discovered 50 birds nests under a bridge, blew wishing flowers, had a picnic with good friends from church and fished for crawdads.

I just listed a whole bunch ‘o narratives. But this picture?


Defies description.

==================

How much is a good night’s sleep worth to you? I decided NOT $120, which is how much my prescription for cough medicine would have cost me. The doctor said I have a virus that is lasting as long as six weeks for many of her patients. I am 2.5 weeks into it.

Sleeplessness does have one advantage: I have been getting up before the crack of dawn to work out. On Thursday, I took my new road bike for a spin along some great river trails. At one point, I was led on a detour past a busy intersection and I blithely noted the Gunther Tooty “Diner” sign that only read “Die.”

Not even 30 seconds later as I was barreling down a hill, I hit a squirrel.

A sign?

No pun intended.

==================

On Monday, I went for an early-morning hike to Matthews Winters, cleaned my car, did laundry, mowed the lawn, hit the bank, post office, Target and Costco.

This whole summer “break” thing may just kill me.

Though I’ve stayed on top of messes piling up, I hadn’t deep-cleaned my car in months. I spent 1.5 hours just on the interior and after it was done, Hadley made the following observation:

“Wow, Mommy. It looks so nice in here! I think you should clean it like this every week!”

“I’ve got a better idea, Hadley. Why don’t you just stop throwing things on the floor so it will stay clean?”

“I like my idea better!”

=================

Jamie is heading to Scout camp tomorrow and between that, work and Bishopric responsibilities, I have been a single mom lately.

But his biggest time-sucker of all?

Hail netting.

I was initially supportive when he told me he was getting some specialty hail netting from Italy because I did not want to deal with last year’s hail massacre of the pumpkin patch. What I did not anticipate: that it would take ENTIRE weekends and evenings to get in place. And no, I am not exaggerating.

Jamie was in charge of FHE (Family Home Evening) on Monday and the lesson was on the 10 Commandments. He was stumped trying to explain to the kids, “Thou shalt have none other gods before me” so I helped him out with a little analogy.

Here’s a hint: It started with “P” and ended with “kin.”

It did not go over well.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, Humor, Jamie, pumpkins

Don’t (Cake)Walk This Way: The Sordid Details of Golden’s New First Friday

June 7, 2010 By

I had a complicated relationship with cakewalks as a kid.

Meaning: I always wanted to win and yet never did.

My family had a glorious staycation in Golden, Colorado last weekend. My trip report and oodles of great giveaways are forthcoming but what cannot wait is my daughter Hurricane Hadley’s introduction to The (Cake)Walk of Doom.

Which is only moderately less death-defying than walking the plank.

I have spent a lot of time in this idyllic town that is nestled between two volcanic mesas and against the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. We stayed at the Golden Hotel overlooking the main drag and gurgling Clear Creek.

On Friday night, we attended the city’s “First Friday,” a newly-minted street fair that occurs on the first Friday of each month. We dined on delicious buffalo burgers from a vendor, watched a magic show, danced in the streets to a live band, indulged in Golden Sweets Ice Cream & Chocolate, rode in a free horse-drawn carriage and topped off our evening at Windy Saddle Cafe where they held a Cupcake Walk for the children.

Twenty-six kids crammed into a circle and each child was given a number to tape to the ground. Like most cakewalks, when the music stops and your number is called out, you’re a winner. But unlike most cakewalks, they had enough cupcakes for everyone; the child just needed to be patient enough to stick around to the end.

Hurricane Hadley lacks patience.

And yes, she gets it Trying to get a group of small children to walk around in a circle is like trying to herd a gaggle of geese. Though they were uncooperative at best, one by one they dropped off as their numbers were called. Halfway through, a vacant number next to Bode was announced. I swiftly plopped him on it and he jubilantly went to claim his reward.

All that remained was Hadley…and about 15 other kids. With each number, her frustration grew. She tried many different methods.

1) The Only Moving When You Were Assured a Number to Step On Method


2) The Take The Number With You Method, which is most effective by subtly dragging it with your foot.

3) The Screaming “GO!” Method


4) And finally, The Dejected “I’m Never Going to Win” Method.

It came down to the very end. There was one number left and she was up against just one boy who was half her size.

“She’s gonna take your son down,” I warned his parents.

I was only halfway joking.

The previous rounds were out of her control but a race to the finish? The Hurricane did not disappoint. When that number was called, come hell or highwater chocolate cupcake with swirly frosting, she was not going to lose this competition. She jubilantly plopped down on that number, did an I am the Champion-esque dance and went to claim her chocolate prize.

All was right in the world until she learned that the little boy who came in very last got to do a special dance and then get his cupcake.

Chocolate and performing in front of adoring throngs of people?

Taking second-to-last place is the new Biggest Loser.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Hadley, Humor

Celebrating My F.D.O.F.

June 3, 2010 By

Because of the looming preschool certificate ceremony….


and this girl’s kindergarten graduation.


I have been cramming in some last-minute hikes to my favorite haunts including Red Rocks at dawn yesterday.


And my favorite secret hike the day prior.


And no, I will not divulge its whereabouts for obvious reasons.


Some call it “Summer Break.”

I called those two days before school got out my “Final Days of Freedom.”

How did you spend your final days of freedom?

===============

P.S. Congrats to my cutie-pie niece Emily who looked gorgeous at her 9th grade graduation party from junior high. Onto bigger and better things.

If you could call high school that.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Hadley

When the world is your slimy, disgusting sea urchin

May 27, 2010 By

Thanks to Haddie’s many well-wishers on my blog and on Facebook. Her 6th birthday was a magical one.

Note: I did not say her actual birthday party. I will write about that once I can muster up the strength to relive it. A summary?

25 kids= my nervous breakdown.

Hadley is still at a glorious age when even the simplest things delight her.

Well, with the exception of our recent trip to Glenwood Springs. We were admittedly spoiled during ski season and stayed in some gorgeous cabins and two-bedroom condos. When we walked into our hotel room at the Glenwood Hot Springs, she set down her luggage, looked around and proclaimed,

“Hmmm…kind of funny they don’t have a kitchen.”

This is her way of saying her future husband had better be wealthy.

That said, she is still delightfully unsoiled in the ways of the world. She doesn’t covet the best toys or clothes and I’ve never once heard her utter she is bored. Laughter, innocence and friends surround her as the world is her oyster.

Nevermind that the kid can’t fathom the thought of sticking one of those slimy sea urchins in her mouth.

Friends and family showered her with clothes, books and crafts. By far, her favorite was her gift from Grandma B: Twinkletoe shoes that she has been prancing around in all week. My friend Dana sent me this poem that fits the bill perfectly.

Now We are Six

When I was One,
I had just begun.
When I was Two,
I was nearly new.
When I was Three
I was hardly me.
When I was Four,
I was not much more.
When I was Five,
I was just alive.
But now I am Six,
I’m as clever as clever,
So I think I’ll be six now for ever and ever.

by A. A. Milne

At 6 and almost 4, I have to same I am thoroughly enjoying my children. This has not always been the case.

See the entirety of my blog for sordid details.

And so my question for you is this: at what ages have you most enjoyed your children? What ages have been the most difficult for you?

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Family travel, Hadley, Humor

Happy 6th Birthday to the Hurricane

May 25, 2010 By

Dearest Hadley,

Happy 6th birthday! I’ll admit it: I debated skipping my annual birthday letter for you due to our crazy schedule but realized I treasure being able to look back upon the high- and low-lights of your previous years.

And also because my memory sucks and I’ll soon be like an old granny who croaks out, “Hadley was five? Don’t they go to kindergarten around that age?”

This was the Year of the Cat. In fact, in your eyes, you never really lived until Remy came into your life and mommy refers to those days as B.C. (Before Cat). We got Remy in October as a band-aid to help ease the pain of your Grandma and Grandpa unceremoniously ditching us moving to Utah. From Day 1, he has been your end-all, be-all. He is patient, snuggly, loving and obese (hence his nickname “Fat Kitty.”)

One morning when we were snuggled up in my bed, I opened up the window but kept the blinds partially drawn. In a decidedly ambitious move for a Fat Kitty, Remy made a move to hop up on the window sill…and would have been successful had he not slammed into the blinds like a fly on a windshield.

You and mommy hysterically laughed whiled he slunked away. It was then I just knew we would have many wonderful bonding years making fun of your father and brother. In a word?

PUMPKIN.

Kindergarten was kind to you. You adore your glamorous teacher Ms. Pancoast and are learning to read and write. You are one of the best artists in your class and are thrilled to attend a week-long art camp this summer.

Math, on the other hand, completely baffles you. One day after a particularly frustrating attempt at teaching you numbers, Daddy shared his epiphany with me:

“Amber, do you know what her problem is? She has my lack of aptitude for math and she has your lack of patience.”

This is just his nice way of saying you are doomed.

You’ve never been one to waste your time on woosy dolls and would rather spend hours playing with your umpteen stuffed animals and dinosaurs. You recently learned to ride your bike and just last week you conquered The Big Hill near our house. Your sass and imagination help you concoct vivid tales and ghost stories. And don’t even get me started with just how competitive you are whilst playing Super Mario on the Wii.

Your brother has the battle wounds to prove it.

Last year, you took a dance class at school (moderately enjoyable), two sessions of skating lessons (double axel is for amateurs) and absolutely kicked butt on the ski slopes (watch out Lindsey Vonn). In fact, skiing is the one sport you are passionate about and are already skiing intermediate-level runs.

You adore traveling and announced you want to travel the world with me when you’re 16. I got you a globe for Christmas and we love plotting our route. The boys are, of course, invited. But only if they can get over this pumpkin obsession.

And so long as they don’t mind being mocked–like a fat cat on a windscreen.

Here’s to many wonderful adventures in the year ahead, my beloved Hurricane Hadley.

Love,
Mommy


P.S. For a stroll down memory lane, read birthday letters 5, 4, 3, or 2.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Hadley, Humor

A glorious, glorious spring in Denver (with a warning for summer)

May 21, 2010 By

So, we’ve been busy:

Getting drenched at our two-week-long soccer clinic. Hadley won the award for the most stretched-out pants.


It came in the form of a plumber’s crack.

Catching Fat Kitty in compro*mising positions.


Discovering a nest of baby robins and charting their daily growth…


…while trying to avoid getting pecked by protective Mama Robin.

Road-tripping to Glenwood Springs!


(Trip report forthcoming).

Hiking Lookout Mountain and getting an urgent phone call from your husband once you reach the summit that you needed to rush home ASAP. Not because one of the kids is dead or maimed but…


…so you can take care of your third child: The Great Pumpkin.

Impromptu evening play in the sprinklers with neighborhood besties.


Cuz 55-degree weather counts as downright balmy for these Colorado kids.

Finally having the courage to bike down The Big Hill to our soon-to-be-completed playground.


And smack-talking the neighborhood boys about how fast you did it. You know. Those same freaks of athletic nature who ditched the training wheels when they were 2.

Falling in love with Caleb at Field Day.


The same boy you said you would someday marry “because he’s a good listener.”

And running Mommy so ragged that she waved the white flag and exclaimed, “That’s it, I AM IN SERIOUS NEED OF A BREAK!”

And summer break is not the answer.

Now that school is winding down, what has been keeping you busy?

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, Jamie

Evidence I actually have three children

May 6, 2010 By

I have been working a lot with Hadley on reading and numbers lately. She has progressed leaps and bounds with the former but the latter?

Let’s just say I’ll never put her in charge of our finances.

The smartest girl in class is named Mia. Hadley divulged Mia’s smarts secret: “Do you know her mommy won’t let her play or watch TV until all her schoolwork is done?”

She sounded no less appalled than if she had revealed Mia was actually a teen-aged boy parading around as a kindergartner.

Hadley is a competitive little thing so we often talk about Mia and what it would take to get to be smart like her. Jamie joined in on the conversation once.

Hadley: “I think she practices reading for an hour every day.”
Me: “Well, that explains why she’s at least at a second grade reading level.”
Jamie (scoffing): “A second grade reading level? That’s not impressive. That’s what I’m at.”

=============================

I compiled a gift guide for Denver moms at Mile High Mamas last week. As I was going through my choices, many of my recommendations came from thoughtful and romantic things Jamie has done for me during our marriage. Feeling suddenly inadequate that I don’t do enough for him, I whipped up a batch of his favorite cookies. When he walked in the door, he exclaimed:

“Wow, buttterscotch oatmeal cookies?”

“Jamie, you do so much around here that this is just a simple thanks.”

“Yes! Just the other day I picked something up off the floor!”

=============================

There is no greater obsession in our home than Super Mario on our Nintendo Wii. If anyone has ever wondered if sibling rivalry is dead, they need to watch my kids duke it out. Evidently, the stakes are high because at one point, Hadley abruptly stopped the game and exasperatedly looked at her brother.

“Bode, I need you to put the Wii remote down, come over here, and visualize yourself winning.”

Nice to see all my sports psychology sessions are rubbing off on her.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Hadley, Humor, Jamie, Marriage

The sweet assurance that maybe, just maybe, I’m doing something right as a mom

May 3, 2010 By

Every mother has hopes and dreams for her children. Even though I would love for my kids to share many of my pastimes, I am most invested in instilling a passion for skiing and hiking. This is because we spend most of our family time in the mountains.

And the fact that I suck at pursuits such as golf, dance and tennis.

I was thrilled when my daughter Hadley took to the slopes like a fish in very slippery water last winter but I also want them to develop their own talents. Hadley excels in art so I went to the mat to get her in a sold-out, week-long art camp this summer.

This, from the mom who only passed sixth grade art because her best friend did her projects for her.

Three-year-old Bode is a Babe Ruth in the making and I will enroll him in T-ball this summer. He can hit 9 out of 10 balls pitched correctly to him.

I say “correctly” because my pitching skills are lacking.

And he lets me know it with every wayward pitch.

I hate baseball. I mean, give me a Rocky Dog and a box of Cracker Jacks at a Rockies game and I can hang with the best of them. But the thought of enduring countless innings of baseball, year after year?

Maybe I should take out stock in Cracker Jacks

But I recently received the confirmation that maybe just maybe I am doing something right with just maybe, I am also doing something right with instilling my passions in my children. I was in Utah over Spring Break and took the kids to my alma mater, BYU. Hadley spotted the “Y”prominently etched on the mountain. I excitedly told her she was finally old enough to hike it with me. She pensively stared at it for a while.

“Do you know what it stands for, Hadley?”

“I think so.”

“Really?” To be honest, Jamie and I don’t talk about BYU so I was pretty surprised.

“‘Of course, I do, Mommy. ‘Y’ means ‘YES’ for hiking!”

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Hadley, hiking, Humor, Utah
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