Love, Marriage and Best Friends According to Hadley

Our kids have a pretty sheltered view on marriage. Most of our close-knit group of friends from church have great marriages. Of course, no union is perfect but we truly are surrounded by tremendous examples of loving husbands, wives and parents. That said, I’m best friends with Hadley and Bode’s best friends but they rarely see Jamie out with his buddies because he’s either working or with us. And don’t forget his pumpkins.

Hadley: “Dad, no pressure but how many friends do you have?”

Jamie [half-joking]:  ”I have Jesus and your mother.”

Hadley:  ”That’ kind of sad.”

Me: “Not really. The most important thing is to be married to your best friend. Can you imagine being married to someone you don’t even like? Over half of my neighborhood friends’ parents ended up getting divorced before we graduated from high school. Dad is my best friend.”

Hadley: “Is that what married people say when they don’t have a best friend? They just call their husband their best friend?”

I’m glad we [loser parents] have taught her well.

The Adventure Converts

In some instances, I’m really good at saying “no.”  Altogether now:

“Mom, can I play eight hours of video games?”

No.

“Mom, can I have my tenth cookie in an hour?”

No.

Easy, right? Where I struggle is when my kiddos are begging for an adventure which, quite frankly, rarely happens. We’re usually just active enough that they enjoy their downtime but on the second week of summer break, Bode came to me complaining he and his buddy Sean had nothing to do.

“Do you want to bike to our nearby open space park, play in the creek and get Slurpees after?”

Slurpees? Creek? Bike? You betcha!

We invited Sean’s sisters Sydney and Maddie, Hadley and our neighbor Sadie to join us. We’re only a 15-minute bike ride away from a glorious 133-acre park with wetlands providing habitat for waterfowl, amphibians and insects, open meadows and a creek. The water is usually very shallow but with all of our rain, it’s a knee-to-waist-deep river.

This picture right here? This. Is. Summer.

Hadley and Bode delved right in but our friends were tentative, not wanting to get their clothes wet, skirting bugs, losing flip flips, squealing about mud. However, after forging through the river, climbing over branches and logs, their adventurous spirits kicked in and they started having a blast.  I took this video at the beginning and I chuckle at their reaction:

And this at the end. They all attempted the river on their bikes except for Bode who was having mechanical difficulties. He won’t get off so easily next time. Here’s Hadley:

Yes, they are obsessed with slow-motion videos and made me capture each of them.

“Next time, I’ll more prepared to get wet,” Sadie exclaimed.

“Yeah, I have some old tennis shoes I’ll wear instead,” proposed Maddie.

“I told you guys we were going to the creek and we’d be getting wet,” I countered.

“I know,” said Sadie. “I just wasn’t expecting this.”

This meaning mud, water, bugs and zero inhibitions. It’s called Adventure 101. Give me your kids and I’ll dirty and toughen them up for the day, so long as you promise to do arts and crafts with mine.

Summer Fun in Colorado

For the next several weeks, posting will be sporadic as the kids and I embark upon our month-long adventure to Canada and back again.  Summer is flying by waaaaaay too quickly and when we return we’ll already be planning back-to-school.

A few highlights: Taking Hadley to KURIOS - Cabinet of Curiosities. It was a crazy, stormy night and we were warmly tucked away inside. This was my fourth Cirque du Soleil performance but my favorite part was watching Hadley’s reaction. She’s such a creative, imaginative kid who’s constantly shot down in a linear world. It was magic to see this dreamscape unfold where creativity is rewarded and heralded.

Now that it’s summer, I’m not super strict with bedtime and she’d stay up all night creating and drawing if I’d let her.

Adventures near Clear Creek following Avid4 Adventure day camp. Sadly, they weren’t in Clear Creek…the water levels as just too high!

And yep, Avid4 Adventure was a blast!

Summer hiking group at Evergreen Lake

and another at Maxwell Falls.

We had an amazing trip to pickup Hadley from Camp Chief Ouray. More details next week but we had a blast ziplining, canoeing, summer tubing and more at our beloved YMCA of the Rockies! First, at Snow Mountain Ranch.

Zipline

Trail Ridge Road, the highest continuous paved road in the U.S.

Then, at the Estes Park Center.

Gaga Ball

Bode: ruining iconic photos

We had a blast previewing the Children’s Museum of Denver’s new 30,000-square foot outdoors playscape Joy Park. Bode and his buddy Porter were the very first kids to ride the mini zipline!


The favorite features were that zipline, building a dam in the stream and digging a volcano in the sand dunes and filling it with water. My kids were the dirtiest and messiest out of anyone. I’ve decided to view it was a talent, not a curse.


Until laundry time.

White Fence Farm opened up Granny’s, a new candy shop, that we just had to check out as well.

Here’s for hoping the hoping the rest of our summer is just as sweet.

When lightning strikes

Denver has had some craaaaaazy weather this spring/summer. Though the deluge has subsided, it’s not uncommon to have daily thunderstorms. Temperatures have been tolerable in the 80s and low-90s, which makes me really happy. Just keep me out of the upper 90s and triple-digits.

I’ve experienced a handful of scary lightning storms but none scarier than backpacking the West Rim Trail in Zion 15 years ago. It’s a miracle we made it though the night, though being greeted by a winter wonderland was one of my favorite moments ever.

Last month, Denver had a crazy lightning storm that electrified the horizon for more than an hour. I’d like to say we cowered under my duvet and belted out “My Favorite Things” as we watched each enormous Zeus-like bolt power through the atmosphere back to earth, leaving backlit impressions into our retinas.

Jamie in deep reflection in between bolts

But if we’re being honest here, this is what it looked like every time the light illuminated the room.

Some things (and kids) are better left in the dark.

A glimpse at paradise

We’re on the third week of summer fun and as predicted, it’s flying by. Hadley is enjoying her third year of Camp Chief Ouray in the gorgeous Colorado Rockies. This is what the picture they posted at their fireside a few nights ago.

I’ll spare you my view. It involves a bed, Kleenex box and too-much TV.

 

Adults: Lamer than we look

As we were walking into Stake Conference, Hadley observed a man in the parking lot guiding traffic and then another holding the door open to welcome us.

“Mom, is it boring being an adult?”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

[I go on to list all the fun adventures I continue to have while she tunes me out.]

“Mom, I think I know what I want to be when I grow up.”

“That’s awesome! What is it?”

“I’ll want to be a kid again.”

Happy Places with Lady Luck

While the rest of Colorado is complaining about our wet spring, I’ve been rejoicing. Rain means lack of heat which means happy me. We’ve had many adventures in our burgeoning creeks and blissfully emerald mountains. I can’t remember Colorado ever looking so beautiful and I’ve felt so darn blessed.

The only problem is I’m not doing a very good job of balancing work and play now that the kids are home for the summer. We leave for Canada in two weeks and I have so much to get done including fixing car problems, selling that car, not knowing if we can afford a new one, making room for Jamie’s sister to move in with us, hospitalization and continued health issues for my mom…life’s list just goes on. The good with the bad, always.

The other day, I dropped the kids off at piano. I had an hour to kill so decided to trek through our nearby open space park but as I was driving over, a few raindrops splattered on my windshield. Should I or shouldn’t I? I certainly wasn’t dressed for the conditions but a little bit of rain has never been a deterrent–hail and lightning are another story. I went for it and conditions were dry for the first 20 minutes but just as I reached my turnaround point, the sky unleashed on me. I started to walk faster, then ran. Then I laughed.  And kept laughing. It felt so gloriously cool and like a blanket had been lifted from me. Note to self: go for more walks in the rain. On purpose.

The following morning, Bode woke up sick and Hadley’s appointment canceled. She was invited to a roller-skating birthday party later that afternoon but I texted my friend’s teenage daughter asking if Hadley could come over and play with her little sister Alex. Sure!  We drove over but no one was home. Psych. They were still at camp.

I’d planned to go for a quick hike at North Table so asked Hadley if she wanted to come along. She was game but more lukewarm than usual. As we waited in traffic construction, she observed “This day just isn’t going our way, is it Mom?”

We decided we try to track down a cossetted waterfall we discovered a couple of years ago, which was more of a trickle at that time.

 

Usually Hadley blazes past me but that day, she was dragging her heels.  Though it was only about 70 degrees, the air was muggy, the hike was unshaded and she wasn’t into it. The trail to the Mesa Top has been closed for two years due to flooding. We ignored the signs, climbed over the barrier and after another 15 minutes of steep terrain, we discovered our secret spot, which was so much more than a trickle–it was a full-blown waterfall.

I just love when Colorado pretends it’s Maui!

The entire tone of our hike changed. She came to life and I was invigorated by her exuberance. We splashed and played for a while and there was a new spring in her step as we descended. The wildflowers seemed brighter, butterflies and birds surrounded us as she collected ladybugs. It doesn’t matter where we go in the outdoors, she can spot them a mile away and they are drawn to her. I told her about my boot camp instructor Robyn who swears that dimes are her good luck charm…she finds them everywhere in the most obtuse places and sees them as little signs from heaven. “Maybe ladybugs are your sign from heaven,” I told her.

“They mean good luck, you know.”

“That makes it even better.”

This free-spirited girl of mine isn’t an overly sentimental, affectionate kid and she desperately craves her independence. So little moments like these are sheer magic when I get them.

As we walked to the car, she casually commented, “Mom, I’m glad Alex wasn’t home today.”

“Me, too, Lady Luck.”

A Mother of the Year-worthy Gift

I’ve been feeling lukewarm about birthday parties for my kids this year. I’ll only occasionally one to throw over-the-top fetes–sometimes simple is best so with my daughter turning 11, I hinted maybe it was time to forgo the big bash. She was horrified. It turns out you need to give a kid at least a year’s advanced notice because they spend the entire 364 days plotting it.

I finally relented with a casual spa / PJ/  ebelskiver party and she invited 10 of her closest friends.  If you haven’t been around tweens, there is a lot of giggling and silliness. The facials hadn’t even started yet and already, her friend (on the left) was covered in whipped cream.

The Spa

We crafted our own natural facial recipes and the girls had a blast giving each other face and shoulder massages before our summer pedicures. Related: I threatened Hadley’s little brother and friend that if they didn’t stop bugging the girls, they’d have to give them all foot massages. Not coincidentally we didn’t see them for the rest of the party.

With the boys out of the picture, we relaxed and focused on breathing techniques as Enya crooned in the background. Though I’ve known most of these girls since they were babies, I could not identify them in a line-up.

Nor would I want to.

My daughter somehow worked it to have two friends massaging her at the same time.


I guess that’s how you roll when you’re the birthday girl.

The Explosive Fail

We made a sub-par attempt at a Diet Coke  explosion in the middle of the road (who knew you had to dump all the Mentos in ASAP?)

I’m sure our neighbors thought was a fantastic way to wake up on the first official day of summer.

And some trampoline time.

It looks like a seance but it was some game about their future boyfriends. Heaven help us all.

The Best Birthday Surprise

A huge package had arrived the day before on our doorstep with a cryptic note:

Dear Hadley,

Don’t open until your party.

Love, J.B.

J.B.? Who was J.B.? For 24 hours, Hadley agonized over its contents, huddling with her friends once they arrived at the party. Could it be a secret admirer? An amazing gift that would be the envy of them all?

None of the above. It was a special “gift” I found at ARC Thrift Store and decided to have fun with it. I wrapped it in a beautiful bag, found six boxes in successive sizes and wrapped each in duct tape, to produce one huge present.

She saved it for the very last and her friends were bursting with excitement. “I’m sure it’s gotta be a cell phone,” her friend Kasey proposed. Rest assured, I work in social media and my kids will be the last of their friends to get one.

Suspense grew and finally, she had the final box and the big reveal of just what she’d always wanted: (Drumroll, please)

A Justin Bieber T-shirt. 

The room erupted as hilarious Hadley raced around the corner and dumped it in the toilet.

Being the nice mom that I am, I later rescued the rock star, laundered him up squeaky clean and surprised her yet with “J.B.” a.k.a. Justin Bieber on her pillow that night.

Me thinks he will be the gift that keeps on giving (and reappearing) for years to come.

Girl’s Day and Night Out!

I was recently invited to AILLEA, a new boutique that provides 100 percent safe, non-toxic beauty products  so I decided to make an afternoon of it. It was a week before Hadley’s birthday and I asked her if she wanted to have a mom-daughter makeover. As a girl on the cusp of wearing make-up–and in dire need of some skincare advice–she was thrilled. How often do we have a day of pampering?

I was expecting to have a mini-makeover and be done with it but  the owner Kathryn opened my eyes to just how harmful and full of parabens, sulfates, petrochemicals, endocrine disruptors and other toxic chemicals our make-up and lotions truly are. Talk about a wake-up call!!

AILLEA is located the hippest part of downtown, Larimer Square, and when we walked out of the store that Friday afternoon, we noticed Lincoln had setup a booth.

“Would you like to test-drive the new Lincoln MKZ?”

“What’s the catch?”

“No catch. We want people to experience our new luxury model, fill out a brief survey and we’ll give you a $25 VISA gift card.”

Post-makeover test drive. Notice our glowing skin?

Since we were “yes” girls, we hopped in that Lincoln faster that you can say “Matthew McConaughey” (who drives them in the commercials). It was a simple spin around the block and $25 later, we wondered what we should do with the money. Hadley has never been to the Cheesecake Factory so we blew our spoils there with a ginormous piece of Dulce de Leche Cheesecake and paid it forward with a huge tip for our awesome waitress. Best. Girls. Day. Ever.

Our spoils from Aillea

And it was only just beginning! It was our stake’s annual father-son camp-out for the Aaronic Priesthood Commemoration so Bode and Jamie were heading to the mountains with their buddies. Hadley and I started Girls Day Part II by hiking Matthews Winters with my besties Lisa, Jenn and their daughters.
I had to include that last unflattering shot of Jenn and me because we share the same disturbing expression.

We grabbed dinner at Freddy’s Frozen Custard & Steakburgers and somehow the talk turned to scary movies. Hadley has never seen one and has been moderately obsessed with “Watcher in the Woods,” a movie that haunted me for years as a kid but is a good “first scary movie” for kids. We decided it was time. Jenn and Sadie (our neighbors) changed into their PJs and met us in our dark basement for Girls Night Part III.

Were they scared? A bit. But Hadley mostly made fun of me for being freaked out by it.

I see Poltergeist in her future. Then again, I’m not watching that again.

 

School’s Out for Summer!

And just like that, I have a fourth and sixth grader.  This whole elementary school thing is speeding by waaaaaaaaay too fast and I can’t believe Hadley is entering her final year.

One of the nice things about them going to different schools is they have had a slightly different schedule so we’re able to celebrate their start and end dates separately. Bode’s last day was Thursday while Hadley’s was Friday. I made each of them a special breakfast with our hallowed “You Are Special Today” plate and Bode brought up the unthinkable. “MOM, who is going to get the plate next year when we’re at the same school?!”

We ultimately decided Hadley would use it for breakfast because sixth grade is a big year and she’s transferring back to her old school. Bode generously said he’d take it for dinner. If only our biggest problems could always be who gets recognition on their special days!

Bode

Bode has had a wonderful third grade year and pulled off top grades in everything except for one element of writing. As we were pulling together his teacher’s gift, he observed “Mrs. Acosta is my favorite teacher I’ve ever had.”

I replied, “Put that in the note. She’d like to hear that.”

“Well, maybe I should put that she’s my favorite teacher I’ve had so far because there might be some I like more in the future.”

Maybe that’s why his writing grade was lacking.

He usually takes the bus home but I went to school, hoping to catch that initial leap and jump for joy as he celebrated the end of the school year. It didn’t happen. I was talking to my neighbor Meredith and when the bell rang, he didn’t notice me and raced for the bus. “Dude, I’m right here!” He reluctantly came back, posed for a picture with his teacher and begged me to ride the bus home with his buddies one last time. And so I drove home by myself and took that celebratory shot when he got off the bus.

It would appear you take what you can get with fourth graders.

Hadley

Hadley has had a great year despite the school mess.  The year isn’t a total loss (well, besides the lack of learning, chaotic environment and the fact most of her closest friends are leaving the school. :-) Field Day and Big Time Trampoline Fun Center were fun. Her fifth grade has spent the entire year training for a multi-school Pentathlon that consisted of javelin, sprints, long-distance, discus and Greek wrestling. She came in first in the sprints in her city group and second in long-distance.

Her victim brother will testify just how dominant she is in the wrestling.

Make no mistake: Were it not for her unqualified teacher and interim principal’s refusal to let her transfer classes, we would still be there through eighth grade. My anger and frustration have subsided and I’d been feeling indifferent about pulling her out until my friend sent a video she made for Hadley’s previous teacher, Mrs. Price, before the bottom fell out this year. We had two amazing years with dear friends and a true experiential education as she has flourished in the arts and outdoors. We’ll choose to forget her third year. A few screenshots from the video of Years 1 and 2:

The Great Pumpkin

Mesa Verde National Park Camping Trip

Outdoor classroom

Adventuring at Balcony House

Apple picking + making apple pies

Organic farming camping trip at White Fence Farm

Fireside storytime

Bestie London

Sand Dunes National Park

Her favorite moment from school was summitting the highest dune in North America with only a handful of hearty souls.

The Mama

As for me, I celebrated my final day of freedom the best way I know how: I went hiking on a new-to-me trail, Independence Mountain, and indulged in Country Road Cafe with my friends Debbie and Jennefer.

 

On Friday, I squealed to Jamie “It’s the last day of school!”

“Yes,” he wryly observed. “Looks like your vacation is over and now the real work begins.”