Chaos Ensues as Johnson and Children Are Grounded in Canada an Extra Day

July 21, 2008 By
**PRESS RELEASE**

(Calgary, AB Canada, July 21, 2008) — Amber Johnson made a failed attempt to fly solo with her two children back to Colorado last week and spent an extra day recovering at her parent’s home in Calgary.

“I thought the flight to Calgary was bad enough,” Johnson grimaced. “I mean, it was such a headache when they lost Bode’s reservation and we then got stuck in the plane on the runway for hours on end. I thought it could not get worse.”

Sadly for this mother of two, it did. Johnson showed up at the Calgary airport with Hadley (age 4) and Bode (age 2). All went smoothly with check-in and security, after which time Johnson set the children loose to play in the terminal’s play area.

What happened next will go down in the record books as the worst luck ever experienced at an airport within a week. “It was boarding time and we leisurely made our way back to our gate,” Johnson said. “That is when they told me a bird hit the windshield of our plane, causing it to divert and land in another city. Our flight was canceled indefinitely.”

Johnson says instead of rebooking their flight, Canadian law required them to go back through Canadian customs, retrieve all their luggage, drag it across the airport, battle all the other passengers trying to find another flight at United’s check-in and then go through the entire process of U.S. Customs and security again. All this with the #%&#* Chariot stroller in tow.

Johnson did not make it past check-in. “All the flights out were booked that day,” Johnson blubbered. “We managed to get a flight the next morning at the crack of dawn which, in some weird twist of fate, my parents were on as well because they were flying through Denver to visit my brother in New Jersey. At least I had a support system the second time around.”

When asked if she would ever fly solo again with the children, Johnson turned pale, exhaled deeply and replied, “No comment.”

Oh, and if you are ever tempted to proclaim, “It’s a bird! It’s a plane!” in Johnson’s presence?

Please don’t.

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© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Canada, Family travel, Favorite Posts, Humor, travel

When a Colorado Mommy Blogger Does Canada

July 15, 2008 By

We are flying back to Colorado today. As always, I love coming home to the Motherland and Calgary is my favorite city in the world. The temperatures have been gloriously mild and I could spend my entire summer here if it did not mean being apart from Jamie for so long. When I made this suggestion, he jokingly suggested we could arrange conjugal visits in Wyoming.

Because really, what else is there to do in Wyoming?

This trip has been cram-packed with walks along my beloved Bow River Pathway with my dad, illegally cruising the neighborhood in my parent’s golf cart, marathon makeovers with Grandma B., lazy summer nights at My Favorite Ice Cream Shoppe, a day trip to Elbow Falls with Aunt Sue and of course, the Calgary Stampede! Some other highlights include:

Sleeping in! My kids are both early risers and I generally can’t sleep past 5:30 a.m. But this trip, the kids slept until at least 8 a.m., which is a huuuge coup. The secret? My parent’s gloriously dark and cold basement, both of which are clear reflections on my personality.

My parent’s backyard. This has evolved into a gloriously verdant paradise of overhanging trees with 10 patio tables and swings interspersed in romantic nooks around the yard and a huge deck to kick back and enjoy it all.

Growing up, our huge backyard was the Mecca for every kid in the area with a half-pipe, fort, trampoline, play set and more. We were also at constant war with our neighbors who actually pulled a gun on some of my brother’s friends when we were on vacation. Of course, maybe that Swastika my brother’s friends anonymously burned on our neighbor’s lawn may have had something to do with it.

Hadley getting her ears pierced. Or at least making the attempt. During our family tradition of going out for Chinese food, my sister-in-law Jane decided it was in Hadley’s best interest to get her ears pierced. I was rather indifferent about it and Hadley was game…until she saw The Devil’s Gun that was aimed at her virgin lobe. I’ll spare you the details but an hour later, we emerged from that store with a traumatized mother and a hysterical kid who only got half an ear pierced. Possibly a new fashion statement?

Peter’s Drive-In’s marshmallow shake. Sure, this very shake caused an outbreak of salmonella a few years ago but it’s not like I didn’t just survive that little ol’ poisoning a few weeks ago. And besides, lightening doesn’t strike in the same place twice.

Err…right?

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Canada, Family travel, Humor

The Real[ist] Family Travel Writer is Born

July 14, 2008 By

I have always loved to travel. The problem is, travel has not always loved me. I once journeyed to France for a wedding, only to get lost and miss the entire celebration.

I built a career as a travel writer by writing a humor column about my mishaps. During a meeting with my editor, I made reference to one of my misfortunes on the trail and he professed, “You mean this stuff really happens? I thought you were making it up because there is no way all that could happen to one person!”

Welcome to my life.

When I had a family, there were understandably even more challenges. My recent solo trip home with my children confirmed it: I am the Real[ist] Family Travel Writer. While so many writers expound upon their tried and true tips for “The Perfect Family Vacation,” I keep it real. Family travel is about survival. The only two things that keep me sane are my sense of humor and a huge dose of denial. Maybe Prozac would help, too.

And so as the Real[ist] Family Travel Writer, here are some insights I gleaned from my trip that I summed up as follows to my husband: “Hell is assuredly an easier commute than flying solo to Canada with two young children.”

Case study #1

I hate DIA (Denver International Airport). This trip had some new doozies: baggage problems with “easy” check-in that forced me to wait 20 minutes for an agent; an online reservation that never reserved my son Bode’s ticket as a lap child and resulted in even more delays; those many hours we were stuck in the plane on the runway because Denver’s drought chose to end during that three-hour window and the floodgates were opened.

REAL[IST] TRAVEL WRITING TIP: BUILD AN ARK. IT WILL GET YOU WHERE YOU ARE GOING FASTER THAN DIA EVER WILL.

Case study #2

I took a big risk this trip and brought my double-wide Chariot jogging/biking stroller instead of my stream-lined Graco. Navigating The Beast was tough enough at the airport but I faced a whole new set of problems in Calgary. Do you know that adage “What comes up must come down?” Evidently, this does not ring true at Calgary’s C-Train station as my dad and I tried to board the train to go downtown to the Stampede. We scaled the huge ramp up to the ticket station, only to discover there was not a ramp going down to the platform. Huh?

After carrying The Beast down two flights of stairs, it would not fit through the doors. I thought that was the end of it until we tried to board the train and we ran into the same problem. We kicked the kids out and tried to cram it in sideways. Nothing. We finally had to disassemble the #%&*# stroller completely and catch the next sardine-packed train where my poor dad had to stand crammed up against the wall to keep all the parts in place.

The most ironic thing of all? The Chariot is made in Canada and it does not fit through their standard-sized door.

REAL[IST] TRAVEL WRITING TIP: DO NOT TAKE DOUBLE-WIDE STROLLERS TO CALGARY BECAUSE EVIDENTLY PEOPLE ARE SKINNIER THERE AND ALL THEIR DOORS ARE ON A PERPETUAL DIET.

So, why do it? As a recent New York Times headline put it, “Sure it’s frustrating and expensive, but travelers just have to travel.” The article went on to say that many people consider leisure travel to be essential, not discretionary.

My “essentials” included seeing my children play with my parents in my childhood home, holding my Great Niece for the first time, cookouts under the stars, a daytrip to the Canadian Rockies, lazy afternoons at the lake and hanging out with a longtime friend on my parent’s deck under a canopy of lilac bushes and stars. And yes, even going for walks with that #%#& stroller along my beloved Fish Creek Park trail. These make up for all the ulcers.

Mind you, my return flight to Colorado is tomorrow and next month my husband, children and I are braving the 13-hour journey to Yellowstone.

Suddenly, that Prozac is sounding better and better….

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Canada, Family travel, Humor, travel
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