Brothers From Another Mother

My brother Jade and brother-in-law Fred each posted pictures of themselves on Facebook today.

It is not difficult to figure out who is my blood relative.

P.S.

Brother from Another Mother #3

Big Media Day!

During an overwhelmingly stressful week (Hadley’s pneumonia is still going strong), Jamie and I were both featured in the media today!

I was hired by Johnsonville to do a segment on 9News about warm breakfasts for cold-weather days (HIGHLY recommend their new fully-cooked sausages; my kids are obsessed and I love they take only 30 seconds in the microwave).


I’ve done a variety of news segments–from fashions shows to travel tips–but never anything on food. Though I love cooking it, let’s just say styling it ain’t my forté

I’ll stick to eating from now on, thankyouverymuch.

Television newsrooms are never boring. In the past, I’ve shared the green room with the firefighters from the pinup calendar. Today, it was the Ringmaster from Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey.

The uproarious dude makes ME look and sound like a wallflower.

In other news, when I checked my email in the middle of the night (we won’t even get into how I’ve been waking up ravenous at 3-4 a.m. since I started Paleo), I found a note from Bill Orchard of our local gardener’s group:

Hi Community Gardeners,
Check out today’s  newspaper for an article on Arvada’s own giant pumpkin grower Jamie Johnson.
Look for him this weekend at the Festival of Scarecrows and the Giant Pumpkin Contest.
Yes, he will be available for interviews and autographs.
Enjoy,
Bill
“Signing autographs?” HELP ME.
The Denver Postrequested an interview with Jamie a couple of weeks ago. He was sheepish because this has been a crappy growing year but it was a bad season for most of Colorado’s growers. Between hail storms, a lot of rain and yellow vine disease, not very many plants made it to the scale.

Read the article and his video interview here.

 

And yes, I like that the reporter linked to one of my former columns in the newspaper about Jamie’s obsession and quoted me as saying “there was not full disclosure before the marriage.”

 

Give that dude a Pulitzer.

When the Fun Run–and life–aren’t so fun

Last year, Hadley dominated her school’s Fun Run by running 5 miles, the most of any girls in her grade.(Relive the glory along with Stanley the Pumpkin).

This year, several of the boys were conspiring to beat her, likely because she blew 99% of them away when she climbed the tallest sand dune in North America and rubbed it in their faces when she raced past them in last year’s Fun Run.

She was planning for a repeat performance but then she sprained her ankle in P.E. Just when she was starting to recover, she got sick the day before the Fun Run. Stalwart that she is, she insisted she needed to at least try but could barely run even one lap. I had a meeting but promised I’d jog beside her when I arrived late.

So I waited..and waited some more for her to loop around the track. When I finally saw her she looked sick and dejected.

“I just can’t do it, Mom.”

“That’s OK. At least you tried.”

“I want to walk six laps.” (About 1.5 miles.)

“Sounds good. I’ll walk with you.”

That’s exactly what she did. I was proud of my competitive girl. As her classmates lapped her, she held her head high, smiled when they blazed past and finished her personal goal.

“Sometimes life is just sad, Mom.”

Don’t I know it.

She spent most of the week in bed. When her symptoms only worsened last weekend, Jamie took her to urgent care. Pneumonia. Despite a cocktail of antibiotics, she wasn’t showing signs of improvement so the hospital recommended I take her to our pediatrician yesterday and they advised us to stay the course. She is currently passed out on the couch, coughing.

For the last few weeks, I been reading Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIHM to the kids. If you’re not familiar with the story, Mrs. Frisby (a widowed mouse) has an urgent matter: her son Timothy is very ill and they need to move their winter home in the garden before the farmer begins preparation for spring plow. The journey would likely kill him so she enlists the aid of former laboratory rats to rescue them.

And just what was Timothy’s illness? Pneumonia.

Jamie recognized the story’s synergies and wryly commented,

“Let’s just hope the plow doesn’t get you, Hadley.”

Obviously empathy runs deep in our family.

 

My interview with Cooking Channel’s Kelsey Nixon

I’m not one to fawn over celebrities and can’t think of anyone famous I’d freak out to meet. That said, there are a number of people whom I respect and admire, particularly humble people who have worked their butts off to get where they are.

Kelsey Nixon is one of those people.

She is a fellow BYU Broadcasting grad who has risen through the ranks, has a show on the Cooking Channel and recently came out with a new cookbook (the recipes are divine).

Be sure to check-out our chat via Skype as I learned about her background, favorite recipes and tips for quick lunches and dinners families will love.

P.S. Her recipe for Moroccan-Spiced Roast Chicken with Creamy Cilantro Sauce ain’t bad, either.

CLICK TO KEEP READING

Respecting the Motherland

My awesome friend Stacey bought my kids Canada shirts when she came to visit. They wore them proudly but since that time, the shirts have been gathering dust in their drawers.

I finally pulled out Bode’s.

“You need to wear this today.”

(Proud American) “No, I’m good.”

“I’ll give you something.”

(Proud American’s interest piqued) “Oh really? What?”

“More technology time today.”

Bribe, accepted! That kid put that shirt on faster than a Canadian summer (which only lasts a few weeks).

Later that day, his evil American sister was taunting him. “C’mon, Bode. Why are you wearing that shirt? It’s not like it’s Canada Day today.”

He coldly looked at her and retorted, “Every day is Canada Day.”

There may be hope for him yet.

Why we need garlic-scented deodorant

Hadley is a rock star when it comes to interior design and crafts. She was recently helping me finish decorating my den, wherein, I let out a roar of frustration after pounding the gazillionth nail in the wrong place on the wall. She kindly observed, “This isn’t really your thing. You don’t have the patience for this.”

Gee, you think?

But thanks to her, I think my office/guest room turned out pretty darn cute.

What wasn’t so cute was how we smelled after. I’ve had many years to become accustomed to my own stench but her early-onset puberty is a new thing. In fact, her entire fifth grade class needs a lesson on personal hygiene.

It was the night before school started and I figured it would be splendid time to teach her about the joys of deodorant.

“I want you to lean over and sniff your armpit, long and hard.”

“Huh?” she asked, confused. (Chalk that up as something Mom has never asked me to do).

“Just smell your armpit for me. What do you smell?”

“It smells good. Kind of like garlic.”

Next lesson: how garlic smells like B.O.

 

 

Meet the Mormons film + my new favorite song

What do a women’s amateur kickboxer, Nepal humanitarian, a missionary mom, a head college football coach and a “candy bomber” all have in common?  They are all Mormons and featured in the new full-­length documentary Meet the Mormons, opening nationally on Oct. 10, 2014 in more than 100 theaters across the U.S. (locations are here).

I’ve been helping spread the good word about the film as a part of my work with our church’s public affairs, which focuses on building relationships in the community with our political leaders, media and other churches. I’ve loved seeing the way our city’s interfaith community has come together. A couple of weeks ago, it was awesome to attend a preparedness fair that we’ve been holding for years but just this year, combined with the city on our efforts to reach a larger audience to teach citizens how to be prepared in case of a disaster. Colorado has known its share of them in recent years–from blizzards to last year’s wildfires and floods.

What I’ve loved about working in public affairs is I’ve been able to focus on building bridges and clearing up misconceptions about the Mormon faith. And nothing does it better than this new film and all proceeds will be donated to the American Red Cross. Whether or not you’re LDS, you’ll love this movie. In fact, the church did several screenings with those not of our faith and they overwhelmingly agreed they would recommend it to a friend because it’s not about theology, it’s about regular everyday people doing extraordinary things.


Watch the trailer

On another note, David Archuleta of American Idol fame recently returned from serving a full-time mission for the church and recorded the title song, “Glorious.” The music video features highlights from the movie and is an awesome reminder that this life here on earth is glorious and full of miracles.

Watch the music video

The song is available to download for free on the movie’s Facebook page.

We’re going to see the movie next Saturday and I cannot wait.

Hey, if it does well, maybe Meet the Mormons: The Sequel will feature a giant pumpkin grower and his crazy Canadian wife. :)

It’s the end of the world as we know it

As far as husbands go, Jamie is really easy-going and most of his demands have to do with his stomach. Being fed at 6 p.m. Having a steady supply of ice cream in the house.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned his ice cream addiction before but I’m not exaggerating when I say that he is obsessed and has to have it every night before bed.

Can someone put me on that diet plan to stay lean and svelte like him? #MetabolismFail

Before we started Whole 30, I did The Unmentionable: I ran out of ice cream. Two very long days later, I finally went to the store, only to find this in the ice cream section:
I sent Jamie a picture, entitling the email “your worst nightmare.”

His response: “It’s the apocalypse! Stock up with everything they’ve got!”

If you need any ice cream, you’ll know where to find it.

Whole 30 and a Twinkie Overload

My dearly beloved works his butt off and has been dealing with chronic pain for years–so much that he barely sleeps but rarely complains. He’s been on a cocktail of meds that, in my opinion, only put a band-aid on the problem and are more reactive, not preventive when he has his debilitating rheumatism flareups. I really would love to connect with a doctor who specializes in not only traditional medicine but also alternative who is (brace yourselves for this) not a quack and is actually covered by Kaiser.

Does such a thing even exist? Ridiculous that I can’t find anyone like that in Colorado.

He’s been living in such misery and after he missed out on several weeks of commitments, I decided to take matters into my own hands. At Front Range Boot Camp, we frequently have month-long health challenges so I signed up to do the Whole 30 and somehow convinced Jamie to do it with me. Though we lead a fairly healthy lifestyle–both with food and activity–there are definitely a lot of things we should cut out. For me, it’s baking treats. For Jamie, it’s a pop addiction and nightly ice cream. Of course, he doesn’t need to lose weight but I’m a firm believer that food not only nourishes but it heals so I’ve been researching anti-inflammatory foods (and would love any of your advice!)

We’re a couple of weeks into the challenge and I’ve found Whole 30 ridiculously restrictive and have instead adopted a more Paleo approach, which seems to be helping by cutting out processed foods, dairy, carbs and sweets. There’s no way we’d survive this eating regimen permanently but it’s been good to clean up our eating habits and I’m crossing my fingers it helps him feel better.

Though he’s convinced there’s nothing more miserable than not having ice cream every night before bedtime.

Before we started the challenge, we had a ward BBQ and devoured the burgers and treats with a vengeance. There were a variety of fun activities, like this “blue bounce.”


Well, at least it was fun until they convinced Jamie and me to try it with our friends Kendra and Dave. Let’s just say we don’t bounce quite like we used to.

I was playing in the field when someone shouted to me, “Amber, you’ve gotta come over and see this. NOW.”

I raced back to the pavilion and there I saw my husband surrounded by cheering people. This is not uncommon because he is the highly celebrated Pumpkin Man! But the reason for the fanfare? My beloved husband had entered the Twinkie-eating contest.

If there’s anything to cure you of sweets forever, this is it (just see the disgusting ingredients)

It’s not something he’d normally do but my gosh, if he was going to be denied sweets for a month, he was going out in a blaze of glory. He started the strongest of the competitors but slowed down by his fourth Twinkie (the three plates of food he had prior may have had something to do with it). Someone handed him a water, which he said helped because “the Twinkies felt like concrete in my mouth.” Ewwwwww.

He ended up downing seven of them in three minutes and I didn’t know whether to be disgusted or proud.

Maybe I was a little bit of both.

 

The great lengths I go to when avoiding yoga

I’ve been vocal about my disdain for yoga. It’s not that I don’t see the physical and mental benefits of doing it (I actually think it would help Jamie’s back problems tremendously). It’s just T-E-D-I-O-U-S.

Of course, there are a few exceptions where yoga is tolerable. 1) It is in a beautiful mountain setting after a day of stand-up paddleboarding or 2) On the beach in Coronado, CA.

I know I said a few but I can’t think of a third example.

At the last minute, I decided to go to bootcamp at 6:30 a.m. When I arrived, the lights were off and I almost turned around thinking it was canceled. Then, I peered in, heard Enya music wafting, saw women doing the warrior pose and I raced outta there faster than you can say Namaste.

That’s Sanskrit for extreme distaste for yoga.

It was going to be 90 degrees so working out in town was not an option. I headed to the hills but last week, I hit the wall with hiking.  I desperately crave variety and I’ve subsequently explored pretty much every trail on the Front Range within 30 minutes from Denver countless times. But then I remembered a trail I’ve wanted to explore for over a year at Pence Park, which is the terminus to Bear Creek, one of my favorite network of trails.

So, here’s my hike summary:

Went to bootcamp and forgot it was yoga.

Walked out.

Hiked new trail.

It looked like this.

Where’s the trail?

It eventually ran out at an elderly man’s property.

He waved.

I called back to him for directions.

He was hard of hearing.

He gave me directions.

They were wrong.

After wandering on backcountry gravel road, he drove to find me.

Told me a different route and he’d take me there.

Hesitatingly got in the car.

Were old, deaf men with heart conditions axe murders?

Did not die.

Hiked on fake trail that was last maintained when this man was in his 20s.

Eventually looped back.

Discovered fall paradise.

Saw biker on the other side of the road.

Realized the real trail I should have taken was over there.

Drove over to old man’s house to thank him.

He did not answer the door so left a note.

As I was leaving, he spotted me from his window.

I shouted “thank you!”

He couldn’t hear me so responded, “talk to my wife!”

She came to the window so I repeated my message.

“I can’t hear you!”

She was deaf, too.

But at least I wasn’t one of the ungrateful 9 lepers.

Drove home.

Walked in the door.

Called to Jamie, “I got in the car with a strange man.”

Like usual, he didn’t flinch.

All 100% better than yoga.

====

Addendum: One week later, I finally hiked the real Pence Park so I have now done the entirety of the 8-mile Bear Creek Trail.

It was worth it.