Taming the Shrew: Revisited

December 11, 2014 By

At the bottom of each of my blog posts, it pulls in a few links for past blog posts. Most of the them I can figure out what they are just from the title but this one from June 2008 had me stumped so I clicked through. With a tittle like “Taming the Shrew,” how could I resist?

Jamie, as usual, did not disappoint.

I am on Week 2 of my battle with the plague. I started to feel better so stopped taking my antibiotics.

Because evidently I thought having a relapse and revisiting my nightmare was better than taking a tiny pill two times a day.

I still feel terribly guilty that I missed the backpacking trip, especially due to all the hard work I put into it. Leading up to the trek was a whirlwind of meetings, packing, a practice hike, shopping, food prep and more meetings. Our fellow adult leaders–Joe and Jeanette–are pillars of the community and were saviors for my sanity as we finalized the last-minute details. As the parents of 10 amazing children, they know organization…and kids.

Jamie was absolutely swamped at work so I did most of the preparations. We had planned to drive up to Frisco for a popular BBQ competitionthe weekend prior to the trek but determined we just wouldn’t have time to do it.

Or so I thought until Jamie approached me.

“Amber, I was thinking about heading up to Frisco for the competition.”

“Errrr, Jamie? We are doing a practice run for setting up the tents, distributing the food and helping them pack their backpacks on Saturday.”

“So?”

“SO, DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!”

“What? Why not?”

“We have so much to do! And have you noticed that Joe has been Jeanette’s right-hand man throughout this entire process and has continuously stepped in to help her while you have done NOTHING?”

“There, there, Amber. That’s because Jeanette is only half the woman you are.”

Filed Under: Humor, Jamie

Lest you thought pumpkin season was over

December 10, 2014 By

Last week, the Pumpkin Man’s good buddy Joe came over during lunchtime.  As I tried to work upstairs, I eavesdropped on them talking potassium/nitrogen levels, soil testing and giant pumpkin seed genetics.

It was like the most boring playdate ever.

I posted about it on Facebook and one of his pumpkin growing buddies interjected:

“Oh he should be talking about Purses and Shoes, as that is more exciting.”

Me: “Never in my life have I ever talked about purses or shoes or clothes.”

Him: “OK, Amber. How about scrapbooking and crafts. There has to be a subject that totally bores Jamie.”

Me: “Who talks about scrapbooking and crafts? I think you’re confusing me with a girl.”

Touché, my friends.

Filed Under: pumpkins

Crested Butte: A glimpse at my favorite place in Colorado

December 9, 2014 By

skiselfie It has been almost a decade since I fell in love with Crested Butte and three years since our last visit which, considering it is my favorite Colorado mountain town, is a rather shameful confession. And with some recent changes for the 2014-15 season, my love has only grown deeper.

Surrounded on three sides by four wilderness areas—Raggeds, West Elk, Maroon Bells-Snowmass and Collegiate Peaks— if the outer-world beauty isn’t worth the drive, the deals are. Kids 12 and under ski free at Crested Butte Mountain Resort (CBMR) until December 18, 2014 and kids six and under ski free all season. Also, the Crested Butte Nordic Center is offering free rentals AND skiing for kids 17 and under all season 

I’m generally not an early-season skier but since my kids’ getting-an-education-schtick is putting a serious cramp in our adventures, my family travels whenever we have vacation time and that meant Thanksgiving. And I’m so glad we did because my love affair was reignited with the best opening day conditions the resort has seen in years. That, coupled with an awesome Adventure Park, an epic Nordic skiing adventure and glorious food make Crested Butte the perfect kick-off to ski season.

Click to keep reading about our awesome Thanksgiving that included my Brussels Sprout binge (no apologies here), corny ski school jokes, marvelous mocktails, the prettiest view in Colorado and much, much more.

The Paradise Divide

 

 

Filed Under: Colorado, Family travel, Foodie, Humor, skiing, travel

Just call me “DodgeGirl”

December 7, 2014 By

For Fun Friday at Front Range Bootcamp, we played dodgeball and were told we had to do 50 burpees if we hit someone in the face.

On my very first throw, my victim ducked and I hit her smack in the noggin.

Apparently I’m still *that* kid after all these years.

I posted the above picture of me on social media and the responses were hilarious, particularly those who thought it was actually me in action. Sorry, folks. It was more like:

My infamous onion-chopping goggles

 

+

 

=

A hubby who is very good at Photoshop.

My friend Jenny told me it was her favorite picture ever of me and that “I would not want to be on any team opposing you” to which I responded:

“You’re not the first to say that. I was a really aggressive soccer player. When we were handing out jerseys, no one wanted to be 13 ‘because it was unlucky.’ I grabbed the jersey and deemed ‘I’ll be unlucky for the other teams’ and that was my number forever after.”

And make sure to watch out for me on the dodgeball court.

Filed Under: Humor

“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire:” When you are the chestnut

December 4, 2014 By

Like many of you, I have a lot brewing these next weeks. On Monday at Front Range Boot Camp, my coach asked us who was stressed out.

“Not me!” I joyously replied. “I’ve got most of my shopping done and deadlines met.”

Then I went home to my post-holiday inbox. Denial can only last for so long.

A few updates:

  • My parents were in town for several days for my mom’s surgery and fingers are crossed it will give her some reprieve. We had a wonderful time during their visit and I did more shopping with my mom than I’ve done in a year. Hence the reason I’m already finished shopping for Christmas. Gift-wrapping is another entirely different matter and I’ll spare you the visual of my den, which looks like a bomb went off.
  • My family had an amazing time in Crested Butte for Thanksgiving. Stay tuned for details on this amazing place. And yes, I’m still obsessed with having a cabin there or in Maui.  Or both. A girl can dream, right?
  • Hadley’s clueless teacher and interim principal are causing me MAJOR stress and I’ve been *this* close to pulling her (I’m sure I’ll write a detailed rant about the entire frustrating situation). Oh, and the principal at Bode’s school quit this week so there are great things going down in Jeffco Schools. I’m touring a new charter school for Hadley today but I’m really hoping we don’t have to switch because I’m already losing sleep about everything.
  • My dad’s birthday is Saturday and Jamie’s is on Tuesday. I’m so grateful to have two stable, awesome men in my life when I obviously am not.
  • Our kids’ main Christmas present was a trampoline. My dear friends Jennie and Jared have been staying with us during some work-related drama since their move to Colorado a  month ago. Now, they’re Texas-bound looking for work but before leaving, they showed up at our house “to serve” and spent the next several hours setting up that trampoline. My dad also offered to setup the trampoline but couldn’t fit it in before they drove back to Canada. Lesson learned: we need more house guests because they get stuff done.
  • I’m volunteering at our local Santa House on Friday, which provides gifts for underprivileged kids in our community. I wish I could volunteer every day leading up to Christmas because it’s a wonderful reminder of how blessed we truly are. And that the chaos really is worth it.
  • I’ve become 9News’ go-to expert on all-things mom and have been doing a ton of live segments lately. Next week, I’ll be talking about holiday snacks for kids. And experimenting. And doing a lot of eating.
  • We invited a bunch of Hadley’s first to see the documentary “I am 11.” It almost made me wish I was 11 again…until I remembered what I looked like.
  • I’ve been a very bad blogger and have barely blogged anything the last few months. Did you know I flew to Utah in October for my 20-year mission reunion to Geneva, Switzerland and had the most amazing girl’s weekend with some of my dearest friends. Oh, wait. You wouldn’t know because I haven’t written about it.
  • I love that the kids have had minimal commitments in the evenings and we’ve been spending so much quality time together. Our latest obsession: I taught them the card game “Speed” and I am the undisputed champion. Bode even begged me to let him win so “Dad and Hadley will be impressed.” Sorry, Dude. I let them get ahead in many games but I am the Speed Queen.
  • I’ve declined more invitations than I’m accepted over the next few weeks and I’m still overloaded. This is why we should not wait until after Thanksgiving to celebrate the holidays. Three weeks is too little time to cram everything in. DO YOU HEAR THAT, AMERICANS?!
  • Next week, we’re celebrating Jamie’s birthday, have his company holiday lunch, the kids’ piano recital, Bode has Monday off, I have a Relief Society holiday dinner, our ward Christmas party, my 9News segment and much, much more.

“Much, much more” is just a nice way of saying “There’s a lot more but I’ve already forgotten what it is.”

Denial is a beautiful thing.

 

Filed Under: Humor

Oh Canada (and Boy Scouts of America)

December 3, 2014 By

At church, we are given “callings” to fulfill. For the past couple of years, I’ve been the pianist in Primary (our kid’s organization), working in public affairs with community leaders and also the volleyball coach for our young women.

Those were all fine and dandy but now I have been asked to serve in a new position that I’m really excited about: as the Cub Scout Leader for the “Bear” den (9-year-old boys). Many of them are Bode’s friends and he himself will join us when he turns 9 in July.  These boys are your typical silly pre-teens but they are smart.  I went in there thinking about how much wisdom I had to impart upon their impressionable minds but they put me in my place during our first first Den meeting when we learned about energy. When my co-leader Sarah asked them if they could list any energy types, they shouted out kinetic, chemical, wind, gravitational potential, electrical, sound, heat or thermal energy. Oh, and you can’t forget about electromagnetic.

These are 9-year-old child geniuses.

As we were beginning our meeting, I explained to them that I am Canadian and therefore do not salute or pledge the American flag. You’d have thought I had two heads because they looked at me like I was a freak-of-nature as they recited everything.

Later, Alex pulled me aside. “Next time, I might bring a Canadian flag for you to salute.”

Smart, and thoughtful, too.

These boys are gonna be one fun, wild ride.

Filed Under: Canada, Humor, LDS

Like a Fat Cat Up a Christmas Tree

December 1, 2014 By

My mom asked if we ever have problems with Fat Kitty climbing our Christmas tree.

I asked if she’d ever actually SEEN Fat Kitty.

Filed Under: Humor

How the Johnsons do gratitude

November 27, 2014 By

I’ll admit it: Our house is 90 percent decorated for Christmas. The reason is, in part, that we already celebrated Thanksgiving and will be hitting the slopes today. And the other reason is the American invention “not until after Thanksgiving” drives me bonkers when the rest of the Christian world is already celebrating. Ever wonder why Christmas is so stressful? Because in the U.S., we have only three weeks to cram in parties, shopping, sales and recitals.

Plus, if I go through all the effort to decorate my house for Christmas, you’d better believe I want to keep it up for a while.

Jamie (being American) falls into his people’s mentality but greater love hath no man than he who surprises his Canadian wife by putting up the lights early.

Bonus: He did not fall off the roof and die.

We had our good friends over for Family Home Evening and I asked my friend Jennie to prepare a short lesson on Thanksmas (a cross between Thanksgiving and Christmas). She did a great job and started out the lesson by asking us what each of us is grateful for.

“I’m grateful for Fat Kitty.” -Bode

“You stole my answer! I’m grateful for Fat Kitty.” -Hadley

“I’m grateful for Amber.” -Jamie, my sweet husband, setting it up perfectly for me to reciprocate his profession of gratitude.

“I’m grateful for Fat Kitty.” -Rude Wife

“Can I change my answer?” -Jamie

Filed Under: Family, holidays, Humor

The Broadmoore at Christmas=Pure magic

November 26, 2014 By

This week, we pulled out our Christmas decorations and prominently displayed a picture we took with Santa during The Broadmoor’s White Lights Ceremony two years ago.

As I was reminiscing, The Broadmoor tweeted out a picture of the kids hanging out with reindeer.
If you’re in Colorado Springs on Saturday, you must swing by where more than 250,000 strands of lights will brighten the nighttime sky as it marks the official start of The Broadmoor’s holiday season with music, a gorgeous gingerbread house and special guests including Santa.

And please bring home a piece of the magic for me.

Filed Under: Colorado, Family travel

How (not) to compliment a woman

November 25, 2014 By

Sure, I enjoy occasionally getting gussied up but the majority of the time, this tomboy prefers to be low-maintenance.

Last week with my mom in town, I had a lesson in high-maintenance. Not only does she put on her make-up the moment she wakes up, she is always dressed to the nines. Despite the fact she has trouble walking, we shopped non-stop all week…until I could barely walk.

Mom gets her hair done weekly and I knew she’d feel much better if we went to the salon (my visits are, shall we say, not as regular). After my haircut, I told the stylist to blow my hair out straight for something different.

Lo, I didn’t know it would get such a reaction. As we were driving home, Mom commented, “Jamie is going to love it!”

“No, he won’t. When we were first married, he said he would never ever comment on my hair or a new cut. It’s his way of saving himself from being an unobservant husband.”

True to form, he didn’t say a word. When I called him out on it, his defense, “Oh, I noticed but remember my promise to you?”

When I picked Bode up from school, I had forgotten all about my hair. I saw him pause at the doorway before racing over to me and demanding, “Why do you look like that?”

Followed by: “Seriously, WHAT HAPPENED?”

Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut like his father.

Then, we had Hadley’s carpool friends. When I walked up to them, Hadley shouted, “WOWOWOOWOW,” followed by these comments from the peanut gallery.

“It looks so much better.” -Bryan

“Keep it like that.” -Morgan.”

“No, go back to being fuzzy.” -Hadley

Maybe I’ll just shave my hair to spare myself the drama next time.

 

Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, Humor
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