Dieting with Humans of New York

I’ve mentioned in the past how Humans of New York is one of my favorite social media feeds. This photoblog features street portraits and interviews collected in New York City by Brandon Stanton. I have an innate curiosity about what makes people tick and I’ve caught a glimpse at the good and the bad through HONY.

Last week, I commented for the first time on one of the photographs. I forgot about it until I started getting Facebook notifications. And then my feed completely blew up. I logged on to see what happened. My comment had practically gone viral!

Apparently 11,5000+ people hate dieting as much as I do. :-)

 

Mother of the Year: The Sore Loser Edition

A certain child of mine is a sore loser. Always has been and I hope will not always will be. Couple that with always having to get their own way and you have a perfect storm. I can’t really fault the second attribute–having fortitude to make things happen can be admirable but being unwilling to compromise and accept defeat are very ugly things.

The other three of us often tiptoe around certain situations because we know Said Child will throw a fit when they don’t get their way but today, I’d had enough. Losing gracefully is one of life’s great lessons and there will be no more giving in.

Case in point: Said Child and Other Child share responsibilities for cleaning the bathroom and alternate between toilet/bathtub and sink/mirror. Obviously, the latter in the more desirable but we could not come to an agreement regarding whose turn it was so took it to rock-paper-scissors.

Quite predictably when Said Child lost fair and square, they threw a colossal fit. In the past, I’d calm Said Child down and make them do it anyway but today was a turning point as I announced:

“From now on if you lose and you can’t accept the fair results, you will do both jobs.”

Guess who got to clean the entire bathroom? To soften the blow, I cleaned their room but as you can imagine, Said Child awarded me “Mother of the Year.”

Here’s for hoping we have a sore-loser-no-more in the making after today’s life lesson.

The Siri saga continues: The affair edition

I continue to fight against The Children about highjacking Siri on my iPhone.

I decided to make some changes of my own and Siri is now a ‘he.’ Yep, that’s right. I have a hot man with an Australian accent lovingly guiding me through life and directions, which is a lot more soothing than a frustrated American husband raging “why can’t you just follow the map?!”

Australian male Siri understands.

Interestingly enough in some countries (including France and the U.K.), Siri debuted with a male voice. The dominant gender stereotypes in different nations helped determine whether Siri was endowed with a male or female voice.

Last night, Jamie walked by my iPhone and the other man Siri randomly started talking to him.

Jamie: “What on earth was that?”

Me: “Siri. She has had a sex change. And he has an Australian accent.”

Jamie: “I don’t feel comfortable with you cheating on me.”

We’ll call it a virtual one.

What my childhood dreams are made of in Banff National Park

Crunching snow. Flowing meltwater. Shallow breathing. These are the sounds of solitude, something I haven’t experienced with any regularity since becoming a mom almost 11 years ago. But here I am—hiking Johnston Canyon during my solo trip to relive my childhood in one of the most beautiful places on earth.

As an indomitable 18-year-old, I was ready to conquer the world so left Canada to attend college in the United States. I didn’t fully appreciate having a world-renowned destination like Banff National Park in my backyard…until now.

As the first national park in Canada, this 4,100-square-mile park is a gallimaufry of mountains, forests, lakes, world-class restaurants and hotels. I am here to “SkiBig3” the local catchphrase for skiing the park’s three ski areas—Mount Norquay, Sunshine Village and Lake Louise–with a tri-area lift ticket.

Kananaskis River

Kananaskis River

After flying into Calgary International Airport, I rent a car and head 75 miles west to Banff on the Trans-Canada Highway, a speedy four-lane thoroughfare that puts Colorado’s bottle-necked I-70 to shame. As the Canadian Rockies appear in the horizon, I need a quick mountain high so veer off to briefly explore Kananaskis Country, the area’s foothills and front-range peaks that are equally as staggering.

A 45-minute drive later—past Lac Des Arc and Canmore—I’m in Banff. Nature is calling so I park the car, stand agape at the 360-degree views, stroll Banff Avenue and grab my rentals from the Ski Hut. On a whim, I check-out Bow Falls near the iconic Fairmont Banff Springs Hotel as fuzzy childhood memories of playing in the Bow River become as clear as the ice that now ensconces it. I am home.

Day 1.

Tucked away on Tunnel Mountain, Buffalo Mountain Lodge’s cozy dining room is only a stone’s throw away from downtown Banff but is seemingly another world. I’ve been staying in so many large resorts that I had forgotten how charming boutique hotels like Canadian Rocky Mountain Resorts’ can be and I enjoy spending a few nights in their two Alberta properties, Buffalo Mountain Lodge (Banff) and Deer Lodge (Lake Louise).

As I sit under a high wood-beam canopy, my waitress raves about CRMR’s ranch near Calgary that raises their own high quality elk, buffalo and beef products for their hotels and four popular restaurants in Calgary. I debate ordering the Wild Game Hash for breakfast (when in Rome, right?) but opt for scrumptious Huevos Rancheros.

View from North American lift

View from North American lift

I drive 10 minutes to Mount Norquay, the smallest and most family-friendly of Banff National Park’s ski resorts and the only to offer night skiing. I spend the day touring around the easy-to-navigate resort with Ski School Director Gord Fielding, a colorful character with deep roots in the community. “We know most people aren’t going to spend their entire vacation at Norquay but it’s an excellent place to start.”

To ski Mount Norquay is a lesson in Canadian ski history. Established in 1926, the 190-acre resort was the first to install a chairlift in 1948, and was famous for ski jumping and as the training ground for Olympic and World Cup athletes. Expecting sub-par conditions due to a lack of recent snowfall, I am delighted to learn their snowmaking system does an excellent job covering 85 percent of the terrain. We pay homage to Banff native Rob Bosinger as we ski down “Rob’s Run” that was named in his honor after he tragically passed away at 38 years old.

I have my favorite meal of the trip at Lone Pine Pub:  Cheese risotto balls and fried Brussels Sprouts with Sriracha Aioli and a Bison Burger with bacon, Brie and blueberry jam.

Though I’m an advanced skier, I’m no expert and you’ll find some of North America’s steepest double-black diamond runs off the North American lift. My dad once had a wipeout near the top where he tumbled almost all the way down, ensnaring a beautiful woman along the way. It was his most painful pick-up ever.

When Gord suggests we ride up North American without out skis, I am game. Once at the top, the views of Banff, Cascade Mountain and Mount Rundle are so dazzling that, after being photographically satiated, I almost forget the chairlift ride of shame back down the mountain.

Norquay is home to “Tube Town,” a seven-lane tubing hill that claims to be the fastest tube park in Alberta. I’ve never been tubing without my kids but I brazenly ride up on the magic carpet, plop myself in the center of the tube, get a huge push, squeal like a kid, realize I’m a grown woman acting like a young’un and keep right on screaming.

Johnston Canyon

I leave Norquay and spend the afternoon on a 1.7-mile ice walk to Upper Johnston Falls. Johnston Canyon is one of Banff’s most popular hikes in the summertime but is transformed in winter into a world of frozen waterfalls, pillow-mounds of snow and blue-ice pillars on limestone cliffs. The smartest hikers wear cleats to navigate the canyon-clinging catwalks and cliff-mounting staircases while the dumbest more adventurous (like me) do it in hiking boots with a whole lot of tree hugging. Despite the ice, I do not fall even once, which should automatically absolve me from a lifetime of clumsiness.

Back at Buffalo Mountain Lodge, I indulge in a carnivorous feast that would have made the Tasmanian Devil proud. I later attempt to light the wood fireplace in my room but it burns out within minutes (where’s my husband when you need him?) I indulgently soak in the old-fashioned porcelain tub while reading my first book in ages, husband and kids temporarily forgotten.buffalo

Day 2.

As I drive 20 minutes from Banff to Sunshine Village, the outlook is bright (forgive the pun). I first fell in love with skiing at this 3,300-acre resort that stretches across three sprawling mountains along the Continental Divide. Ranging from gentle beginner runs off Strawberry Chair all the way up to extreme terrain like Delirium Dive, Sunshine is named one of the 10 top off-piste destinations in the world.
sunshineself
The Sunshine Village Gondola whisks me from the parking lot to the base, where I meet my guide Lindsay. A balmy breeze follows us up Continental Divide Express to Lookout Mountain where we soar above treeline while skiing in Alberta and B.C. on one run while marveling at the unobstructed views of the surrounding peaks.

I realize my memories are not just of the scenery but of freezing my butt off while enjoying them. Next year, Sunshine will be replacing the Teepee Town lift (notoriously cold and windy) with a quad that has orange bubble covers and heated seats. Popular in Europe but an anomaly in North America, my childhood self would have appreciated a toasty tush.

I approach Wawa quad chair where I: 1) Skied my first intermediate run down Tin Can Alley’s beautifully gladed terrain. 2) Learned to swear when my dad left me in his dust.

The T-bar of yesteryear has been replaced by an efficient loading conveyer. When it’s our turn to load, I nervously lean forward on the gate, it opens, spits us on the conveyer belt and I momentarily revert to my younger cursing self. We are transported forward like bottle of milk in a grocery store, the chair swoops around and we’re airborne. By our second time around, I’m a conveyer convert.

Lindsay and I take a quick tour of well-appointed Sunshine Mountain Lodge, Banff National Park’s only ski-in ski-out property.  She observes “with the Canadian dollar so low ($1 CAN=$0.80 US), American are essentially getting a 20 percent discount when they vacation in Canada.” We eat a hearty lunch at the Chimney Corner Lounge and I vow that next time I’ll be brave enough to order the Alberta Beef Dip in Yorkshire pudding.

Banff Lake Louise Tourism/Paul Zizka Photo

With an annual dump of 30 feet, Sunshine Village doesn’t make its own snow and normally capitalizes on its innovative “snow farming” techniques but like many resorts in the West, it’s been a lean snow year. (Murphy’s Law: it snowed 23 cm shortly after I left). We spend the afternoon on Goat Eye Mountain and thankfully, the sun softens the snow and the conditions completely transform beneath my skis.

At the end of the day, skiers and riders may either take the gondola back down but I opt for a stroll down memory lane down ski-out “Banff Avenue” where my tired, wobbly legs propel me all the way to my car.

Following a 50-minute drive to Lake Louise, I check in to historic Deer Lodge, an easy stroll from the legendary lake. Built in 1923 as a teahouse, 71-room Deer Lodge was completely renovated, restored and winterized in 1985. I opt to skip out on the rooftop hot tub views and eat.

Historic Deer Lodge

Unlike Banff, which is bursting with lodging and restaurants, options are more limited in purposefully remote Lake Louise. I’m elated with my classic Canadian dining experience at the historic Lake Louise Railway Station and Restaurant, a carefully restored piece of history overlooking an opulent ‘Roaring Twenties’ dining car.

Day 3

I wake up in mourning with the realization I will be skiing my final SkiBig3 Resort. I’m incrementally working my way up in size—starting with the baby bear (Norquay), Mama Sunshine and ending with Papa Bear: Lake Louise’s 4,200-acre expanse across four mountains that is consistently voted the most scenic resort in North America. Hear me roar.

My memories of Lake Louise Ski Area are ambiguous so I’m grateful to have my guide Pat Lynch to navigate. We quickly determine we graduated rival Calgary high schools the same year and have common friends. He has spent 17 years parlaying between working as one of Lake Louise’s most trusted ski instructors/trainers, with Parks Canada in the summer. My envy is tainted powder-white.

Banff Lake Louise Tourism/Paul Zizka Photo

We ease into our adventure with some groomers off Glacier and Top of the World Express. Unlike my previous two bluebird days, the sky is overcast with flurries and the light is flat. Pat is truly leading the blind until I bust out my glasses and am blown away by the views of the commanding Valley of Ten Peaks while the distant Fairmont Chateau Lake Louise bordering the shoreline looks like a LEGO replica.

From Saddleback Ridge at 8,300 feet, we cruise into the bowl, catching the peek-a-boo sunlight that casts dramatic shadows and the visual planes dazzle our eyes in this world of white.

The Larch area has the best conditions of the day. Located on the backside of the mountain, this intermediate-level playground is not as sun-affected and boasts more permanent snow without the crowds. Pat expounds upon the larch tree. “Although it’s a conifer, the larch is a deciduous tree and loses its leaves in the fall after turning yellow-gold.”
“So, the trees were named after the Larch lift?”
“Actually, I think it’s the other way around.” Pat joked. That devil is all detail.

For lunch at mid-mountain Whitehorn Lodge we, of course, order the Rocky Mountain Game Platter’s assorted Valbella artisanal meats, farmstead cheeses, crisps and Chinook honey. I’m on venison overload and almost vow to become a vegetarian until I take another bite of the mouth-watering buffalo and figure why would I want to be?

Lake Louise is the only World Cup venue outside of Europe to join the ranks of the famous Club 5 Ski Classics. Quite appropriately, I love channeling Lindsey Vonn as I blast down the Woman’s Downhill, until Pat tells me the resort has claimed her as its own.
“You know she’s from Vail, COLORADO, right?”
“She’s had more World Cup wins in Lake Louise than anywhere. She came off her two-year-long injury to win her 60th World Cup race here in December.”

I almost get into a toddler -esque brawl but ultimately decide we can just share her.

A Final Farewell

lakelouisechatBefore saying good-bye to Banff, I have one last bucket list item. I adore skating for miles on Canada’s frozen rivers and lakes and was devastated that the temperate weather forced most to close. Someone tips me off that Lake Louise (about 10 minutes from the ski area) is still open so I stop to rent skates at the Fairmont Chateau Lake Louise and sadly discovered they, too have succumbed.

I pout, gaze out upon the still-frozen-yet-not-frozen-enough-to-skate-on-it ice and see legions of people hiking and skating across. With the backdrop of Victoria Glacier beckoning, I mindlessly follow the legions of people making their pilgrimage to Mecca, a glacial landscape of remarkable beauty. It isn’t until I am almost across the lake that I realize their final destination is a crystal-blue waterfall that marks the trailhead of the Plain of Six Glaciers leading to the Lake Agnes Tea House in the summer.

Some ridiculous fools are sliding down the snowfield in front of waterfall so I ridiculously start hiking the glassy trail to join them, fall after my third step and determine this wasn’t the kind of ice adventure I am looking for.

After all, there’s always next year.
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When you go:

For more information on purchasing a tri-area lift ticket go to SkiBig3, the official website for ski vacations and passes in Banff, Canada.

For additional lodging information and rates, go to Canadian Rocky Mountain Resorts.

Thanks to Travel Alberta for hosting. All photographs, opinions and childhood memories are my own.

Home again, home again (without the jiggity jig)

I’m back after a marvelous week in Canada. I fell in love with the Motherland all over again and it’s becoming increasingly more difficult to leave. Of course, I love my life in the U.S. but sometimes I wonder why I was so eager to leave Calgary? Oh yeah, I was 18 and thought I was ready to conquer the world.

It’s been years since I’ve spent any time in Banff National Park and I had four glorious days of it. I skied Norquay, Lake Louise and had a homecoming at my childhood resort, Sunshine.

I hiked across frozen Lake Louise and did my prettiest winter hike ever up Johnston Canyon.

I stayed at Canadian Rocky Mountain Resorts’ Buffalo Mountain Lodge (Banff) and Deer Lodge (Lake Louise) and was reminded how much I love quaint, charming and rustic boutique hotels.

I spent copious amounts of time alone, exploring, wandering, reading and just being (something that hasn’t happened since before I got married).

Once back in Calgary, I loved being with my family again. We lunched, gorged on Cadbury Easter Creme Egg McFlurries, biked Fish Creek, had an early Easter dinner, visited with my friend Stacey and became obsessed with a possible trip she’s taking to Croatia (who knew it could be that amazing?)

This week, I’m working like a madwoman to get caught up on all my travel-writing deadlines before out-of-town guests arrive on Friday and we take off to ski Beaver Creek for Spring Break next week.

In April, I’ll come up for air. For now, the goal is to just keep breathing.

The War of The Fat Cat

In terms of household pets, Fat Kitty is a great one. Cuddly. Affectionate. Cute. Low-maintenance.

Usually.

It’s just that Fat Kitty has developed a rebellious streak in him. When some household pets get ticked at their owners, they become calamitous. Our neighbor’s dogs were famous for gnawing everything in their house–from pillars to couches. Call me crazy, but I’d have locked those bad boys up every time I left the house but they weren’t disciplined so their path of destruction continued.

As for Fat Kitty, he never jump ups where he’s not supposed to, nor does he destroy anything but instead uses poop as his weapon of choice. For years, he would occasionally overshoot his kitty litter box and I’d find his gift wrapped up in a nice towel on the floor in the laundry room. But it was never a regular thing.

Until recently.

With all the traveling we’ve been doing lately, Fat Kitty lives in a permanent state of Teenage Angst. It has come to the point that we actually sneak around to pack for a trip because we don’t want his guilt trip. He parks himself in the middle of our suitcases and his ticked-off stare bores into the very depths of our soul. When we leave, his back is always turned in mourning.

Here’s the tricky thing about Fat Kitty: He doesn’t unleash his true frustrations until we get back and then it continues for weeks. The poop, that is.  I’d estimate he goes in his kitty litter box about half the time these days and the other half? I can handle blankets or anything that cleans up easily. But when he pooped on Bode’s beloved sheep skin rug that does NOT clean easily, I was calling mayday.

So, I’m mad because he’s pooping everywhere. He’s doing it because we keep ditching him to travel and claims he won’t stop until we do.

This is what I call Fat Kitty Blackmail.

 

The perfect man

I’m spending the week in Canada. I was thrilled to be invited by Travel Alberta to visit my childhood ski resorts and then tack on a trip to visit my family at the end.

I was not-so thrilled when I realized the 7:50 a.m. flight I intentionally booked on Sunday was also Daylight Savings Time. Because nothing is more fun than waking up at 4 a.m.

Last week was stressful trying to crank out several major deadlines prior to my departure and get the house in order for Jamie. Though he works from home, he works a lot and I realize what a sacrifice it is for him to juggle work and kids whenever I’m gone.

I needed a sanity break so took to the snow. I was just getting over my cold but as usual, I pushed myself beyond what I was ready for and paid for it later. I was about an hour into my walk and I plopped down on the bench, only to find this dude. He was the perfect stress relief and we started chatting.

I was exhausted and really didn’t want to walk all the way home but wanted to call Jamie to pick me up even less so I sucked it up and barely limped back to the house. Upon seeing Jamie, I divulged how I’d met the perfect man because I was able to babble like an incoherent fool and he didn’t judge me at all.

Jamie listened intently and then said, “Hmm, sounds kind of like Nick’s bench therapy on ‘New Girl.’”

That husband of mine totally gets me. Maybe he really is the perfect man after all.

My ticket to Cinderella’s ball

A couple of weeks ago, I was contacted by a local movie company about helping with a pre-screening promotion. This company has been on my blacklist for years due to some repeated screw-ups on their part. You know, little things like them giving me the wrong date for a pre-screening I had advertised and refusing to apologize because it should have been my responsibility to double-confirm the date that THEY had sent me.

I was done with them until they offered me 150 tickets to give away for the new Disney movie, “Cinderella.” That was my favorite Disney fairytale as a kid and I’ve been counting down the days until it is released. I was all-in (albeit with baited breath that there wouldn’t be another major mess-up).

I invited everyone I knew in the area and posted it to Mile High Mamas. Within three hours, the tickets were gone, gone, gone, and I was so so so stoked!

The movie exceeded my expectations and made sense of several areas in the storyline. I already loved the Cinderella lead Lily James who stars in Downton Abbey, and Prince Charming was perfectly cast.

But what I enjoyed the most was it presented Cinderella as a strong strong and empowered woman who was not a martyr who needed a man to save her from a terrible life, but instead chose kindness and courage despite her adversities. “Where there is kindness, there is goodness. And where there is goodness, there is magic.” What a great message!

My college roommate Dori drove an hour with her daughter

I felt so grateful to be surrounded by so many wonderful friends who universally loved the film as much as I did. My friend Sam brought her preschooler and kindergartner and she said loved watching her daughters enraptured by the film, bringing back her own memories of seeing it for the first time. Another friend posted on Facebook that “it is the best movie I’ve seen in years.” Quite predictably, Jamie raved about the giant pumpkin-turning-into-a-coach scene.

Even the boys liked it, though my friend Lisa’s teenager Keith observed they didn’t use any of the traditional songs (he’s apparently a big fan?) while one of Bode’s friends reluctantly said it was good but “it needed more action.”

I’m sure he meant more kissing scenes. I couldn’t agree more.

When your friend is a shower-shimmying, inventing rock star!

Yesterday, I posted that my friend Karla was invited to pitch her invention The Shower Shimmy on Good Morning America’s “Shark Tank Your Life!”

I haven’t talked to Karla much this week as she has been crazed pulling everything together for the show, fulfilling Kickstarter orders and working with the factory. Karla and her husband Ivan were supposed to fly out to NYC yesterday and we assumed all was well until Jamie called her dad Bob to talk about shipping costs.

Bob: “Crazy about Karla getting to NYC, right?”

Jamie: “Wait, what? We haven’t heard anything?”

Bob: “She’s stuck in Detroit and Ivan is in St. Louis. They’re not sure if they’re going to make it to NYC.”

New York City has had a horrid winter and on Thursday, a Delta airplane slide off the runway at LaGuardia Airport. Fortunately, our friends weren’t on that flight but it resulted in the airport being closed down for hours while both of their flights were diverted.

Karla made it into NYC eventually; Ivan is still stuck in St. Louis, which is a REAL bummer because he was the hilarious part of the pitch!

Regardless, Karla did a fabulous job on her own and ended up winning “Shark Tank Your Life!” (Watch the video here).

Who cares if you had a Murphy’s Law experience barely getting there as long as you have the Shark on your side.

Congrats, Karla!

 

The Shower Shimmy Says “Good Morning America!”

Since Jamie and I agreed to help our rockstar friend Karla Call launch her invention the Shower Shimmy on Kickstarter last month, it has been one wild ride. From media coverage to blogger campaigns to wading through the deluge of potential distributors to meeting her fundraising goal on day 1, it is apparent people are ready for the world’s first 3-in-1 shower cleaning tool with environmentally-friendly cleaning solution.

And why wouldn’t they be? When I look at all the inventions out there, the Shower Shimmy is such a no-brainer, why has this not been invented before? I absolutely love mine and that is really saying something because I normally despise cleaning my shower.

Good Morning America contacted Karla last month about potentially appearing on their segment “Shark Tank Your Life” to pitch her product to one of Shark Tank’s investors. It was a frenzied few days as she submitted a video, which the producer loved but she was ultimately not chosen.

On Monday, she received the news from Good Morning America that they want her to appear on Friday morning! I’m crazy nervous for her but regardless of how the segment turns out, she is receiving millions of dollars worth of free exposure.

Ever the good friend, my best advice I gleaned from my own national TV experience with Jamie on NBC’s “The Marriage Ref?”

Don’t go up against the Great Pumpkin. You will always lose.

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