“Hey Mom. Remember last night when we accidentally disobeyed you?”
“I don’t think that was accidental.”
“Oh yeah.”
Accidental disobedience
April 23, 2015 By
The Man. The Myth. The Legend
April 22, 2015 By
I’ve been working with the Cub Scouts for about six months. I’m still rather clueless and despise the record-keeping element of it but really enjoy hanging out with 9-year-old boys every week, probably because they’re around my same mentality.
On the way to Scouts the other day, Bode and his buddy Bryan were having a belching contest which, had it not been so disgusting, would have been impressive. Bryan observed, “Bode, your belches are louder but mine are juicier.”
I don’t even want to know what that means.
We’re in charge of a carnival for our entire Pack so we’ve spent the last few weeks preparing our carnival games. Because it seems like we’ve been working on these projects forever, I wanted to give the boys something else to look forward to so listed off some of our future activities.
“And then we’re going to the Majestic View Nature Center and also going on a one-mile hike. The week after, we have a very special field trip: We will be visiting with the Pumpkin Man who will teach us about composting.”
A new boy Jacob queried. “What the heck is the Pumpkin Man?”
Acting insulted, Seamus retorted, “YOU DON’T KNOW THE LEGEND OF THE PUMPKIN MAN?”
It won’t be for much longer.
And so it begins
April 17, 2015 By
The Johnson Family’s Sixth Annual Giant Pumpkin Season kicked off on April 15 with much excitement and fanfare.
Well, as much fanfare as you can muster when soaking a pumpkin seed in water, filing it down, placing it in a moistened paper towel and transferring it into a pot with bacteria-rich soil.
A few weeks ago Cheerleader Jamie sat the family down to watch Rise of the Giants, a (you guessed it), documentary about growing giant pumpkins.
One of the men in the video said something like, “Yep, my wife knows she’s played second best to my pumpkins for the last 20 years.”
I pointedly glared at Jamie.
“Look on the bright side, Amber. You only have 14 years to go.”
Jamie Meets Zoolander
April 15, 2015 By
Next week kicks off my road to the insane asylum. Hadley has dress rehearsal every night for her play at Colorado Acts, we’re juggling soccer, volleyball, Cub Scouts (I’m in charge of the carnival) and Activity Days. Not coincidentally, Hadley’s teacher pushed back her class play to the same night as her final dress rehearsal for the other one, all of which is causing me a major anxiety attack and wishing for our winter OFF from all activities.
Summer break will be here before we know it, right?
In the middle of it all, Jamie’s parents are arriving next Wednesday for a week-long visit. That’s about the only thing I’m looking forward to!
I’ve also been seeking out additional employment–nothing full-time at this point but as much as I love Mile High Mamas, it’s just not paying the bills. Turns out, free tips and perks won’t pay for Hadley’s braces or another car because we desperately need to replace our 12-year-old one.
I really wanted to buy Jamie something nice for our anniversary in February but money was tight. He always buys me the nicest presents and really has a gift (pun intended) for it. A few months ago, he casually mentioned how much he loved a burnt orange Arc’teryx jacket from REI. If you’re not familiar with this brand, it’s like the Rolls Royce of outdoorwear. I looked up the jacket and, quite predictably, it was $550. I mentally bookmarked it, hoping to find it on end-of-season clearance sale. REI offers its members a dividend at the end of the year and I was thrilled to receive that a couple of weeks ago. I snagged it up and, with a $50 gift card some recent houseguests gave me, started trolling REI’s website. The jacket was 40% off, REI was having a 20% off sale, and with the dividend and gift card, I scored that $550 jacket for $75.
I LOVE surprises but almost couldn’t contain myself. I was so excited to give it to him because he’s so darn deserving and I wish there was more I could do to thank him for how hard he works and for being an all-around awesome husband and father. 
If the weather wasn’t 70 degrees, I think he’d sleep in it. He’s the only one in Denver still praying for snow days.
The Bunny Came Back
April 13, 2015 By
When Jamie and I were first married, he waged war with one of most treasured possessions: Mr. Bunny. When I went away to college, my mom started the tradition of sending me decorations for every holiday. This has continued even today and I have quite the collection.
Mr. Bunny has been with me for years. Not only is he cute and fluffy but he wiggles his cottonball tail while singing “Here Comes Peter Cottontail.” Who could resist that?
As it turns out, Jamie. Since those early days, he has developed a veritable hatred for rabbits partly because of Mr. Bunny but mostly because they are neighborhood pests who eat our garden. He has waged war to keep them out of our yard and has had the children in on the action from an early age. Whenever t Hadley would see a bunny, she was instructed to chase it out of the yard and if she caught it, she was going to “break his neck!”
Imagine this coming from a sweet 3-year-old’s mouth; obviously that was her father talking, not her. (Though her bestie Alex accidentally did that to her sister’s bunny when she was young. Jamie has never praised her more.)
The lowpoint of our newlywed years was after a particularly charming performance from Mr. Bunny, he went missing. I was worried sick…until I received a ransom letter from my new groom. Pictured on it was poor Mr. Bunny, bound and blindfolded with an encrypted message. I don’t remember how his torture chamber played out but Mr. Bunny eventually returned but he never sang again. It was like his very fluffy soul had been stomped upon by the Enemy of the Easter Bunny Spirit.
Fast-forward to my recent visit to Canada. I haven’t been home for Easter in years so it was fun to bring out the multiple storage bins of Easter treasures from my youth.
Imagine my sheer delight when I was unpacking them to discover my mom had not one but TWO Mr. Bunnies, who were sting singing that beloved song. I begged my mom to take one home with me and she generously acquiesced. I would surprise Jamie and I knew just how excited he’d be!
I called home to give him a teaser. I mentioned we’d been decorating my parent’s house for Easter and that I had a special surprise for him.
“It’s not that ##$#$* rabbit, is it?”
Little did I know he’s also a soothsayer.
April updates (nevermind that I’m overdue for Jan., Feb. and March)
April 10, 2015 By
I’m at the point I’m so woefully far behind on blogging that I’m never going to get caught up. And it’s too bad because we had a fantastic winter of travels–I mean, Canada, Colorado skiing and Mexico within a one-month span? Talk about amazing!
After taking several months off, both kids are back in sports. Hadley started volleyball this week and Bode is well into the soccer season. Everything seems to fall on Thursdays: piano lessons, Cub Scouts (for Bode and me), soccer practice, Activity Days at the church for Hadley and also volleyball games. Usually I handle all after-school activities but I’ve had to recruit Jamie because I can’t be 10 places at once.
Hadley has been taking a drama class from Colorado ACTS and their big performance is in a couple of weeks. We’re delighted Jamie’s parents will be joining us from Utah. I hope having extra bodies will help spread out the chaos. A few things:
Easter
Making Easter cookies
Our Easter was probably one of the most low-key we’ve had and not coincidentally, one of my favorites. I forgot about our community Easter egg hunts and we didn’t get around to dyeing eggs but we didn’t miss them one bit. The kids are getting older and though they enjoyed our family’s Easter egg hunt on Sunday, they didn’t get caught up in bunny festivities like in years past.
Something we did do better was put Christ back in Easter. We did a “Holy Week” countdown, watched these awesome Bible videos and also A.D. The Bible Continues on NBC (I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to see the networks picking up religious-based shows). On Easter, we made cinnamon rolls, watched General Conference, went to Jamie’s sister’s for brunch, took a long walk where we boomeranged and jumped over the serpentine stream about 100 times. At least Bode and Hadley did while Jamie and I leisurely strolled along as they accused us of being “anti-adventure.” Then I reminded her of the back-flip they all dared me to do on the trampoline last week and she shut up (’twas my first black-flip in 20+ years). The girl barely figured out how to do a somersault.
School
After all the drama this year, we’ve decided to pull Hadley out of Mountain Phoenix Community School and put her back in our public school for sixth grade. It’s not a done deal yet–I’m meeting with the principal next week to talk through everything. Not the interim principal at her charter school who spews poison darts whenever she sees me but the new one at her old-new school.
Hadley was at our public school for K-2nd grade and still has a lot of friends there. I still don’t feel like it’s the best place that really taps into her talents and style of learning but for now, it’s our only/best option. I’m feeling a lot more peace since coming to that conclusion but that doesn’t mean I’m going to leave our charter school quietly. It has the potential to be great (and it was for a while) but the administration and governing council are driving it into the ground and the result, as one of the parents voiced, “I feel like this school has lots its soul.”
Kids
I have a pretty strict rule on sleepovers: not until after you’re 8 years old and even then, rarely and we have to know the parents really well. I’ve heard too many horror stories and frankly, my kids haven’t been invited to many sleepovers because most of our friends don’t allow them. So tonight, Bode is having his first sleepover at his friend Sean’s house while Hadley was invited to enjoy court-side seats at the Nuggets basketball game with her friend Alex. Tomorrow, it’s a boy’s night out as Bode and Jamie go to the Avalanche hockey again (tickets courtesy of Uncle Chris) while Hadley and I will have an adventure up in the mountains. Basically, their social lives are better than ours.
Jamie
It’s pumpkin season. His will to live has returned.
Me
It’s pumpkin season. My will to live is gone.
An oldie but a goodie
April 6, 2015 By
It’s that time of year that I dread: allergy season.
Actually, the ironic thing about fall and spring (when my allergies are at their worst) is they are my favorite seasons. But since I moved to Colorado, I am lambasted twice a year with miserable allergies which almost always lead to a sinus infection. I went to an allergist a few years ago who ascertained I’m allergic to pretty much every grass and weed in Colorado.
As an outdoor lover, this is not a badge I wear proudly.
I’ve done allergy shots but had to stop when our insurance changed and since that time I’ve found very little reprieve. A few years ago, I hit my limit when my daughter was sent home from preschool with pink eye. I figured I would kill two birds with one stone and made an appointment with my general practitioner. Now, let me preface this by disclosing I was in my second month of these mind-numbing allergies. I hadn’t slept in weeks and I was on my third sinus infection. CLICK TO KEEP READING
And he’s the nice one in the family
April 4, 2015 By
Hadley spent half of spring break with the stomach flu, cutting into our ski trip to Beaver Creek. We wavered on what to do and Jamie ultimately volunteered to stay behind with her and work while she recovered. Bode and I would meet up them them at the resort a day later.
As Bode and I were leaving, she weakly called out. “I think I can go tomorrow…I just need to find a place to rest.”
Bode: “More like Rest In Peace (RIP).”
Livin’ the Only Child life with mocktails at the Westin’s Apres Ski
School suffering on many accounts
April 3, 2015 By
I realize that posting has been sporadic and I’m still woefully behind. I’ve been so busy with writing deadlines and travel this winter and I am so so so relieved to be finally caught up. The problem is I am now barely functional with allergies. I don’t know what it is about spring and fall, but I am allergic to you, Denver.
Everything came to a head this week with our almost year-long battle with the administration at Hadley’s beloved charter school and I’m still fuming over the outcome. The Cliff Note’s version: Last summer, there was a coup as the governing council ousted the principal that I loved and a few of her greatest supporters went with her, including Hadley’s soon-to-be teacher. That principal was extremely qualified, had a Ph.D. in Educational Leadership and founded a charter high school that is ranked No. 1 in Colorado and highly-ranked in the U.S. In her place, the governing council appointed an interim principal who comes from a preschool/kindergarten background with no real credentials.
Hadley’s class was placed with a new, inexperienced teacher who–though he’s very nice–has been completely overwhelmed and unable to contain her high-spirited class. More than half the parents have been meeting with the interim principal and governing council to voice our concerns for several months. Four parents have pulled their kids since January to homeschool,–that’s how bad it has gotten.
And the administration hasn’t cared one bit. It’s beyond the point of blaming the teacher but the fault is with the administration for their lack of response and poor reaction to the many problems that plague that classroom.
Let’s face it–everyone has a weak teacher or a bad year in school. It’s fairly normal. Last year, Bode had the notoriously worst teacher in the school and we got through it. But here’s the difference: At Hadley’s Waldorf-inspired charter school, the teacher loops with the student, often for many years. So, our fight has not been to get him fired but to get him to stay back and fill an opening for next year’s fifth grade class now that he has finally figured out the curriculum.
It fell on deaf ears. The interim principal and governing council approved for him to loop with the class for sixth grade. We’ve endured one bad year, I refuse to submit her to three more with him. I put in a request to have her switched to the other sixth grade class but it is unlikely they will approve it. They’d rather have us unenroll her than endure the push-back we’ve given them for the unthinkable: ensuring our daughter is actually educated when she goes to school.
The thing that kills me is we’ll likely pull her from the school if she doesn’t get into the other class. She and her classmates have been together for several years–they’re growing up together and I’ve never seen a group of kids love each other more. I hate having to upset that but we’re at the point of no return. I’d unenroll her now but it would be out of my own anger and she is looking forward to so many things…they’ve been training all year for their Pentathlon with other schools, a class play and an end-of-year camping trip.
In other news, Hadley’s orchestra teacher has challenged her class that if they practice for 30 minutes per day for two weeks, he will reward the entire class with an ice cream party.
Because apparently he wants us all to suffer.
When you get sick on the same vacation…over and over again
March 31, 2015 By
It was to be the perfect January vacation: My son Bode and I would have our first ever mother-son getaway. My husband Jamie and daughter would join us 24 hours later at the luxurious Westin Riverfront Resort and Spa nestled at the base of Beaver Creek Mountain along the Eagle River.
We had never skied Beaver Creek’s 1,800 skiable acres, host of the recent Alpine World Ski Championships. I picked Bode up after school and upon arriving at Beaver Creek, we kicked off our vacation with Thursday Night Lights, a free weekly parade for intermediate-level skiers or snowboarders. After registering at the Children’s Ski and Snowboard School, we were each given our own glow sticks and rode to the top of the Buckaroo gondola and down the Haymeadow run in a synchronized glow worm, only to be greeted at the bottom by fireworks.
High on life and artificial light, we grabbed a pizza from The Lift restaurant at the Westin. As we waited for our food, we played a heated game of “Sorry” and Bode’s dripping nose started, followed by a cough and fever.
By morning, he was officially sick and I knew we had to cancel our trip but vowed to postpone until Spring Break. All was not lost, though. When we informed the front desk we were leaving two days early due to illness, they generously gave us extra-late check-out, a sweet note with a popcorn treat and we made lemons out of lemonade with a morning of snuggles in our Westin Heavenly® Bed, Westin’s crisp Egyptian-cotton linens and plush bedding, followed by a leisurely stroll along the 40-mile riverfront trail where we discovered a secret swing.
Fast-forward two months to Spring Break and this time, our entire family was going to Beaver Creek. Or so we thought.
A few days before departure, Hadley woke me up, announcing what no parent wants to hear at 4 a.m.: “Mom, I just threw up.” A violent stomach flu ensued. On the day of departure, she had turned the corner but was still weak so my husband volunteered to stay home and bring her later. My friend Eva declared that Beaver Creek must be cursed. I can assure you it’s not. We are.
Enter: Mother-son Beaver Creek Round 2.
Bode and I assured each other this time would be different. I had originally arranged for both kids to go to the Westin Kids Club for a couple of hours so my husband and I could enjoy some alone-time. I dropped Bode off to enjoy their smorgasbord of games and Colorado-themed “Safari” activities for lucky kids ages 5-12.
With two hours to kill, I opted for murder by attempting the Pilates Barre class at the Athletic Club at the Westin. Though I regularly attend a boot camp, I’ve never participated in Barre and haven’t done Pilates in years. It kicked my butt in all the best places.
As I limped into Kid’s Club, Bode dove into his bean-bag fort to hide (a good sign) as he raved about all the games and slime science experiments he did with his new BFF–nurturing and fun staffer Marla. I took a mental note to hire her to play Mother on days I’m overtired.
Bode and I took the Westin’s shuttle that dropped us off at Beaver Creek Village where we had dinner at the Beaver Creek Chophouse. The restaurant was brimming with families and I soon found out why. Not only was the food delicious (particularly the meat and seafood) but the kid’s menu was expansive, a delightful magician circulated the room (until 8 p.m.) and kids that arrive before 6 p.m. get perks like a free sundae.
Bode was exhausted when we boarded the Restaurant Shuttle back to the Westin but there were no signs anything was amiss. Until I was woken up by crying at 12:30 a.m. I raced into his bedroom and he choked out, “I threw up.”
At this point I almost started laughing with the déjà vu of it all. He hadn’t made it to the bathroom and vomited on the carpet and the corner of his Heavenly-no-more bed. A call to housekeeping in the middle of the night is never good but the silver lining was our angelic housekeeper Felix who not only efficiently cleaned up the mess but was so kind and concerned about Bode.
When the sun rose, Bode felt better but I cautiously changed our schedule. We held off on enrolling him in Beaver Creek’s Children’s Ultimate 4 Ski School Lesson until Hadley arrived the following day. We instead spent our morning snuggling in bed reading, watching silly Minecraft videos, marveling at our mountain views and soaking in the three riverside hot tubs. We rediscovered our hidden swing along the Eagle River and threw sticks through a rock obstacle course.
When Jamie and Hadley arrived at 4 p.m., we enjoyed Cookie Time in the lobby with complimentary hot chocolate, cookies and live music and then dined at the mouthwatering Maya, Westin’s modern Mexican kitchen by internationally-acclaimed Chef Richard Sandoval–the best Mexican food I’ve had in years.
There was a happy ending. Well, kind of. Jamie wasn’t able to ski because he had to return home for work and Hadley and I had to skip out on our highly anticipated mother/daughter pedicures at the Westin Riverfront’s Spa Anjali. I had promised the kids we would go to Beaver Creek’s mid-mountain Candy Cabin following ski school, only to discover it closes at 3 p.m. And then, just as we laced up our skates to glide across the Black Family Ice Rink in Beaver Creek Village, the rink was closed for the Zamboni and we didn’t get to skate.
But in the end, it didn’t matter because the kids still had a fabulous day in ski school while I participated in their complimentary Women’s Social Ski Tour at 10:15 a.m. on Tuesdays-Fridays. We fell in love with Beaver Creek’s terrain, the Westin and surrounding activities, vowing to come back under more optimal circumstances.
I’ve stayed at plenty of resorts that provide top-notch service in the best of times.
But the AAA Four Diamond Westin Riverfront has my vote for delivering in the worst of them.
I'm a Canadian-born mom of two, former Denver Post columnist, family travel writer, editor of MileHighMamas.com and 9News contributor. Expert on all things Utah, Denver, family and travel. Lover of laughter and life. Happily married to a man obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin. 