Fat Kitty Shaming

January 11, 2016 By

After selling her house last spring, Jamie’s sister Lisa has has the utmost privilege of intermittently residing with our family. Upon her return from Europe, we anticipated she’d be with us for a while as she looked for a job but last month, she announced she had found a new condo and would be moving out in January.  Renting a place before getting a job? Isn’t that like the chicken before the egg or the egg before the chicken?

I know she wants her space but it’s been nice to have her here, particularly because she does the dishes and Jamie does not. There was full disclosure about this before we got married and there are plenty of other things he does around the house but dishes and toilet-cleaning are not among them.

Spoken from the woman who has not paid bills or taxes since the day we married.

Thursday is my crazy day driving kids to piano and then leading Cub Scouts so she offered to take on dinner duty that night and it’s been a treat. For her final Thursday dinner, she went all out as a way of saying thanks: high-quality grilled Costco steaks, fresh shrimp, corn on the cob, mushrooms, and two different kinds of French fries with fry sauce. We were overwhelmed and over-filled from our feast.

As we wobbled upstairs, we heard Lisa’s outburst.

“Ohhhh noooooo!”

“What?”

“Fat Kitty pooped on my bed.”

Fat Kitty is pretty much the perfect cat–non-destructive, cuddly and easy going. But his Achilles heel is he occasionally poops out of his kitty littler box when he’s 1) ticked we’re leaving him on vacation. 2) mad about being stuck indoors all winter. 3) PMSing or 4) just because.  His target is usually a blanket or towel left on the ground but to poop on someone’s bed? A rarity and it was obvious he was making a statement. He was mad she’s leaving.

Over these past months, she has turned into his most trusted buddy. He monopolized her snuggly blanket so much that she had to bequeath it to him. And during our extended trip to Canada and frequent vacations, she was always there comforting him that it’s OK to be ditched.  Lisa is his mother from another mother.

Regardless of the pain he is feeling over her inevitable departure, we felt badly, especially since she had just cooked up this amazing meal. We demanded a Fat Kitty apology and he reluctantly gave one.

I don’t see steak in our future anytime soon.

Filed Under: Family, Humor

The joke’s on them

January 6, 2016 By

We had a really fantastic Christmas break. We were in Utah for a week and and the rest of the time was spent chilling or playing with friends at home.

Right before going back to school, Hadley went skating with her friend Alex and they came back to the house to hang out.  After a few hours, I knew they were up to something in Bode’s bedroom but she assured me it was all good. And it was. Bode’s room is The Pit of Despair and were it not for my hard-fast rule of no video games until your room is cleaned, it would be condemned.

Two hours later, the girls emerged triumphant. Not only had they completely cleaned it but they reorganized all the furniture–it has never looked better!
Hadley later confessed, “We originally wanted to play a trick on Bode and move his furniture around. But then Alex had the idea to reorganize his entire room.”

Next time, I hope they prank me.

Filed Under: Hadley, Humor

The FHE Musical Chairs Showdown of Death

January 4, 2016 By

My entire life, I have won the friend lottery. From childhood friends who are still dear to me to college to my mission, to my single years in Salt Lake City, I have been surrounded by the best of the best. When I married Jamie and moved to Denver, it took me a while to make meaningful connections. It wasn’t until we moved into our house and 2nd Ward about a year and a half later that it slowly started happening. My friend Lisa invited us to join a dinner group with a handful of other couples and from that group, some of my very best friends were made.

Nearly 13 years later, my kids have literally grown up with these families and I couldn’t love them any more if we were related. For Family Home Evening tonight, our friends the Carrolls invited us to the church for a game night. Between the five families, we had about 100 kids, resulting in a night of chaotic fun. We played musical chairs, live Clue (where we turned out the lights and went room-to-room avoiding the murderer before solving the crime), Apples to Apples and then the Carrolls gave a spiritual message about Samuel the Lamanite who stood on a wall to preach repentance to the Nephites as they tried to shoot him down…

…then the adults raced into the room and attacked the kids with marshmallows and a huuuuge, hilarious fight ensued.

Jamie tried complaining about getting pelted in the eye but I had no sympathy. Mostly because he’d (practically) drawn blood just an hour earlier.

Something you should know about Jamie: he’s uber competitive.

Something you should know about my brother Patrick: he’s uber competitive.

Put them together and the games begin. I started the evening off by sharing the story of the Musical Chair Showdown. Shortly after we were married, Jamie came home with me for a summer visit. Our ward was having a party so we joined in the fun that ended with a rousing game of musical chairs. There were children in the mix. Small children. But it didn’t matter to Pat and Jamie who were out for blood. They were the final two and as they gazed at each other with blood-thirsty eyes, I knew there would be trouble. The music started and they heatedly rounded the chairs. When it stopped, they both dove, with Jamie ending up triumphant. Or was he? Pat started prying him off the chair, they fell over during the scuffle, but Jamie would not budge. Even splayed on the grass, his butt and hands did not lose their grip.

It was then I knew I’d chosen a winner.

Fast-forward to the FHE Musical Chair Showdown. We had the adults in one area and kids 12 and under in another.

The music started and stopped.  With each round, our friends dropped off like flies but Jamie and Bode persisted, making it to the final round. Bode ended up losing in the finals but Jamie would not go down so easily against our friends’ 17-year-old son, Jordan, whose initial strategy was to walk around with the chair.

It didn’t last long. Just look into Jamie’s eyes.

And then the showdown truly began.

With Jamie ending up victorious.

It was then I knew I’d chosen a winner.

Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, LDS

Christmas in Utah

December 31, 2015 By

Greetings! We’re back from a fabulous Christmas in Utah with Jamie’s family. This is the first time all his siblings have been together in years and it was a cause for rejoicing (so was our dump of snow on Christmas Day, the ultimate present). Shockingly, I didn’t take many pictures and for the big mom fail, didn’t take even one as we opened our presents. The good news is we’ll all be together again for an official family reunion at YMCA of the Rockies Estes Park in February.

A few highlights:

*Lots of downtime, including Apples to Apples marathons and PBS Masterpiece’s Sherlock (we’re hooked after season 1).

*Food. Too much of it. Jamie’s mom Linda stuffed us to the brim, plus she is her ward’s Relief Society President, which means everyone and their dog brought holiday treats to her. And us.

*Food Con’t. Jamie’s parents treated us to a fabulous Christmas Eve Brunch at Grand America, followed by family pictures and touring the swanky hotel’s holiday window displays and life-sized gingerbread house.

Gingerbread House

*Edible cousins. Shamefully, I didn’t take enough pictures of the twins because my camera was directed at 11-month-old Darby the entire time. And who could blame me? Check him out delighting in the bouncy castle/ball pit Uncle Chris bought them.

*Temple Square. Really, is there any place on earth more magical and spiritual at Christmastime than thousands of lights on 35 acres? Our hot chocolate at Joseph Smith Memorial Building was pretty magical, too.

Hot chocolate warm-up

*BYU. We called it a recruiting trip because we’re trying to expose the kids to our Alma Mater. We went to the Norman Rockwell exhibit at the BYU Museum of Art, bought them BYU shirts, ate at the Creamery and had a lot of fun checking out the campus.

*Presents. This was the first year I found Christmas shopping depressing because the kids are mostly out of the toy phase and want technology (though I remain adamant about no phones before high school). Plus, our recent trip to Disneyland was our main present so our budget was tight and Santa was limited to giving them Brandon Mull books and games. Bode got a cool video drone from my parents and had a blast with a remote control helicopter from Jamie’s parents. Hadley got clothes, lots of drawing tools, arts, crafts and movies. I bought Jamie a new ice cream maker (it’s his obsession) while he purchased Big Agnes sleeping bags and pads for both of us.

But the ultimate present of all presents I gave to the man who hates to share his food? The Freeloader Fork, which expands up to two feet to give me easier access to his food across the table.

He obviously loved it.

What a blessed Christmas 2015 we had surrounded by family as we celebrated the birth of the Savior. We’re going to a New Year’s Eve party at the Carrolls tonight to ring in the New Year. I’m not sure what the future holds but I feel the winds of change blowing through for 2016. May it be a soft breeze and not a tornado.

Filed Under: holidays, Humor, Utah

Merry Christmas!

December 24, 2015 By

What to say about 2015? We had a cram-packed year of work, school, church, travel and pumpkins. Always, always pumpkins.

We have visited Mexico, Canada, Disneyland and Moab, as well as many Colorado camping and ski trips. Hadley and Bode competed in the Kids Adventure Games as they mountain biked, ziplined, Tyrolean Traversed, mudpitted, underground river hiked, slip ‘n slided, climbed and conquered their way through Vail.

This year has had a lot of highs and a few lows (usually health-related) but we feel blessed to be surrounded by beloved friends and family!

Moab, Utah

Banff National Park, Canada

Cancun dorks

Bode. (Age 9, fourth grade)

Lover of soccer, student council, Clash of Clans, Cub Scouts, making movies, skiing, piano, biking, pumpkins, birthdays at the Lakehouse and his buddies.  Nicknamed “the human calculator” by his peers due to his math aptitude.  Milestones: Spent an extra week with Grandma J. in Utah before flying home by himself. Begged to join the cross-country team at school, to which I responded, “you know that’s running, right?” As it turns out, he’s actually pretty speedy when he remembers not to knock his head around like a Bobblehead.

Avid4 Adventure Camp

Elbow Falls, Canada

Kids Adventure Games

Hadley. (Age 11, sixth grade)

Lover of carbs, drawing dragons, volleyball, Fablehaven books, cross-country, Minecraft, surfing at the Lakehouse, skiing, huge growth spurts, birthdays at  AAA Five-Diamond The Broadmoor, overnight horse camp at Camp Chief Ouray, Outdoor Lab class trip and sleeping in. Milestone: She trained and climbed her first 14er (14,000-foot peak) this summer, leaving her altitude-sick mom in her dust. Had the biggest transition of everyone as she transferred from her Waldorf back to our public school. Exceeded expectations, adapting quickly to new friends and more rigorous academics. Except math, which is a bit of a struggle. Good thing she has a human calculator for a brother.

Kids Adventure Games, Vail

Rigorous Ha Ling Summit, Canada

Amber

Lover of all things outdoors, skiing, biking, birthdays at luxury ski resorts and weekly hikes with friends. Still running MileHighMamas.com (Colorado’s social media community for moms), frequent contributor to 9New and area media outlets. Memorable solo press trips home to Canada and New Mexico. Cub Scout leader at church but does more wrangling than leading. Milestone: Survived solo 3,000-mile road-trip to Canada with the kids…and had the time of her life doing it. Traveled to Aspen for a girls’ weekend with friends for a 7-mile Mudderella competition. Also climbed a 14er with Hadley and Jamie and lived to tell the tale. And that story (almost) had a few expletives in it.

14,036 Mount Sherman

Winter media trip to Lake Louise, Canada

Aspen birthday

Jamie

Lover of nada. At least that was his response when I asked him for newsletter updates and he confessed, “I’ve got nothin’.” Works long hours building his successful web development business Pixo Web Design and Strategy while battling a bad back and rheumatism. Fun-loving father, awesome traveler and busy at church as Priest Adviser and Stake Technology Clerk. Had a disappointing year in the patch when the neighbor’s dog (literally) ate his pumpkin, followed by irrigation problems. Still managed to grow a beast but the man will not rest until he has a state record, which means neither will the rest of us. He’s especially not bitter about his December birthdays stuck at home with Fat Kitty.

Delicate Arch, Moab

Surfin’ Okanogan Lake, Canada

Fat Kitty

Still fat. Lover of Jamie.

Aunt Lisa

We’re including Jamie’s sister to our family newsletter because she is currently living with us. Sold her house in the spring, quit her job and went to Europe. Now that she’s back in Colorado, she says the highlight of her year is cohabitating with the coolest family on the planet. Well, that’s a loose translation of what she mumbles when we’re bouncing off the walls at 6:30 a.m. before school.

Lisa speaks her truth

We wish you and yours the happiest of Christmas seasons as we celebrate the birth of our Savior.

Love,

The Johnsons

Waterton Lakes National Park, Canada

Magical birthday at the Canada lakehouse


Filed Under: Bode, Family travel, Favorite Posts, Hadley, holidays, Humor, Jamie, LDS

The Force Awakens!

December 21, 2015 By

With our recent trip to Disneyland for their “Season of the Force” (slacker mama, I still haven’t full written about that trip), we watched all the Star Wars movies back-to-back and have become bona fide fans. We’ve been counting down the days until we could see Star Wars: The Force Awakens but were deterred by the crowds and bedlam. Sure, we love Star Wars but do we love it enough to stand in line for hours on end?

The answer is we love it enough to wait a few weeks until the hype dies down.

However, after seeing everyone’s social media posts on opening night, I casually did a search at our local theater to see if there were still tickets on Friday. I was shocked to see there were so snagged up four of them as a surprise for the kids in celebration of Winter Break. I remember going to see it with my family and I was thrilled that the kids will have the same memories.

Concerned there would still be a crazy-long line, Jamie instructed us to arrive an hour early for most optimal seats, which is exactly what we did…and there was only one family in front of us. As the wait stretched out, only a handful of people showed. That’s the funny thing about our local theater: it’s plenty nice but not super high-tech and fancy so it’s never crowded. In total, our theater had maybe 20 people in it for the 5:30 p.m. showing.

And of course, we all sat bunched up in the middle of the theater. Best seats in the house, of course!

Just what did we think of  Star Wars: The Force Awakens? We loved it! It was filled with nostalgia as Director J.J. Abrams managed to weave important elements of the past with a new direction for the film. I laughed, I cried, it was better than CATS.

Well, if I’d actually seen that musical that my parents chose NOT to take me to when I was about 9 years old.

And yes, I’m still bitter. But my kids won’t be because this was one film not to be missed.

Filed Under: Family

The Christmas Piano Recital

December 18, 2015 By

Hadley spent the week prior at Outdoor Lab so didn’t practice.

And then realized the Monday before the Wednesday concert that she lost the music.

Then realized she forgot how to play it and I had to write in some of the notes.

And then pulled off a Christmas miracle by playing great.

See that chokehold? That’s motherhood personified.

Filed Under: Hadley, Humor

Winter Park Resort: The Ultimate Family Vacation

December 17, 2015 By

As I reached the crest of the first hill, I briefly paused to marvel at my exuberant family breaking trail. The snow whirled around them, casting alabastrine shadows that dipped and rose with the terrain as they hopscotched their way on skis down the mountain.

We were in Grand County. As the closest major destination resort to Denver, the Winter Park area is a veritable winter wonderland with a bevy of activities for the entire family–from snowmobiling to free ice skating at Cooper Creek Square to careening down Colorado’s fastest sledding hill at Colorado Adventure Park to warming up at the Foundry Cinema and Bowl. Our weekend was full of fun, laughter and (mis)adventures.

And  yes, I’m referring to  when I got locked in the bathroom at Zephyr Mountain Lodge and the kids thoughtfully fed me Starburst under the door. It’s weekends likes ours where memories are made.

CLICK TO KEEP READING with many more misadventures along the way. Tree bashing and creek jumping, anyone?

Filed Under: Colorado, Family travel, skiing

Snow Days: Denver Style

December 16, 2015 By

I have a conflicted relationship with Snow Days. On the one hand, I think they’re ridiculous. I grew up in Canada with seven feet of snow and do you think school was ever canceled? No way! In a place like Colorado, I’d assume people wouldn’t freak out when the snow flies but that’s exactly what happens. And they expect school to be canceled every time.

We’ve had a few minor storms this year but finally, FINALLY we received accumulations more than a few inches and school was canceled, which I fully supported because there was enough snow for us to actually play in it. Since I don’t sleep, I was awake when the school notified us at 5 a.m. I snuck into the kids’ bedrooms to turn off their alarm clocks. Their reactions when they woke up were indicative of their personalities.

7:45 a.m. Hadley strolls into my bedroom. “School is canceled today,” I announced. “Oh, good,” she leisurely announced, not worried at all she’d slept through her alarm.

8:30 a.m. Panicked Bode races in, “I SLEPT IN!!!!!!!!”

Ying. Yang.

We spent the morning snugged up in our PJs, made ebelskivers for breakfast and the kids played video games while I worked. That afternoon, Alex and Nicky came over for some good old-fashioned fort and slide building while I spent a couple of hours shoveling our walk, as well as our neighbor’s. Because have I mentioned I really really love snow?! This was topped off by making gingerbread men and a hot chocolate competition. If this is what snow days are all about, I’m all in for an eternal winter.

Filed Under: Colorado

Happy birthday to My Rick Savage!

December 9, 2015 By

Jamie turns really Old today. I can’t tell you just how old because he reminded me how old I’ll be turning and it’s super closer to his oldness. Old.

But I’m so happy to have this guy in my life.  I asked the kids and here are the Top 10 reasons we think he’s awesome:

10. “He wrestles and likes to torture us.” -Hadley. Mom editor’s note: someone usually ends up with a foot in the face and crying. But I guess that’s fun?

9.  He’s funny. He has a subtle humor but that man can deliver the funniest zingers.

8. He’s hard-working. He’s a great provider and spends so much of his time building his successful web development business. Note: Honey, you need to come play more.

7. We get each other. If you were to meet the two of us, you would think we’re alike at all. But we have a very similar take and perspective on life and parenting…and rarely do we have conflicts on our opinions. Note: pumpkins, driving directions and the History Channel notwithstanding.

6. He’s kind and likable. I mean, really likable. I guess because I sometimes dated guys who were misunderstood or didn’t always click with others that I appreciate this quality even more. When someone new meets Jamie, they always like him.

5. He’s faithful and takes his priesthood responsibilities seriously.

4. “Usually he treats me really respectfully. He’s a good listener and really fun. I like having boy’s nights out.” -Bode

3. He’s supportive. I’m always concocting some crazy scheme and he goes along with it or tells me just how crazy it is (and rightly so).

2.  ”I like when he lets me bite his eyelids to wake up.” -Fat Kitty

1.5 He’s not a whiner. He has been and continues to go through some tough times and rarely complains.

1. He’s mine.

Happy birthday, Jamie. So grateful to be #13YearsYours.

Filed Under: birthday, Jamie
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