On Starting Them Young with Their Christmas V-O-C-A-B-U-L-A-R-Y
A friend dropped off a plate of Christmas treats just as we were on the way out the door to do the same for someone else. I looked at their glorious selection and grabbed some to add to our plate.
“What are you doing, Mommy?”
“This is called regifting. Can you say R-E-G-I-F-T-I-N-G, Hadley?”
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On Christmas Mailings
I always look forward to our annual flood of Christmas newsletters and cards. And every year, I gain immeasurable pleasure from reading them. And laughing at them.
Last year, I received a newsletter from my friend Angie (who, like me, married a bit later in life). She gloated over their childless state and attested “so the peace and quiet will just have to continue.”
This year? Her retribution was twins. [Insert evil cackle here.]
I can always count on my Great Uncle Peter for an entertaining letter. I have never met the crotchety old bachelor. But it must say something about me because I delight in our correspondence.
After ranting about my own newsletter, marveling how Jamie and I like climbing around our “rockpiles” (which evidently means “mountains” in crotchety man speak), he divulged the thousands of dollars he has given to his nephews – one who is in medical school and the other a farmer. He could have taken the highroad about his generosity but instead attested he only did this because “giving all my money away will deprive the Canadian government of taxes when I leave this earth.” What a giver.
But my favorite part of his letter was the ending:
“This pretty well covers everything. Each day I feed my winter
friends who are too stupid to go south for the winter but hang around the bird feeder. I also kill off any squirrels who try to find holes to get up into the attic. So far I killed four last year and this year, I killed one. One got away from the trap but left his claws. He will have difficulty in climbing trees.Best wishes for a nice holiday.”
Also known in crochety man speak as Bah Humbug.
I'm a Canadian-born mom of two, former Denver Post columnist, family travel writer, editor of MileHighMamas.com and 9News contributor. Expert on all things Utah, Denver, family and travel. Lover of laughter and life. Happily married to a man obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin. 