Last Friday, I had two showers: one I threw, one I attended. As some of you know, I’m not a fan of them. Cases in point:
My bridal shower: I was forced to have one.
Baby shower for Haddie: Outright refused.
Baby shower for Bode: Relented under the assumption of no cheesiness; was later tricked into another one. I think they called it a surprise party.
The one I threw was for my friend, Suzy, a member of our hiking playgroup. The weather was frigid and I worried about keeping such a large number of toddlers occupied inside. My fears were unfounded.
Because where there are no outdoor escapades, there is always indoor nakedness.
Within a few minutes, the majority of them were either buck naked or attired in Haddie’s dress-up clothes and her treasured collection of Dora big-girl panties. I could hear her sternly lecturing her fellow potty-training buddies: “NO ACCIDENTS!”
Coming from the Queen Bee of Hypocrisy herself.
Tina and I presented the diaper cake we made. That same diaper cake which caused our negligence and resulted in our children’s public nudity. Sensing a pattern here?
While the kids stealthily left puddles all over the house, the adult-folk were also sufficiently entertained with my memorable shower game: diaper diuretics. I melted several different candy bars, smeared them on various diapers and forced my dear friends to guess the flavor. Because we don’t endure enough of that each and every day.
Oh, and because I’m classy like that.
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