Note to the BabyCenter.com Newsletter Committee:
I HAVE APPRECIATED YOUR WEEKLY UPDATES REGARDING HOW MY PREGNANCY IS PROGRESSING. HOWEVER, I AM BEGGING YOU TO JUST STOP AT WEEK 40. DO NOT SEND ME INFORMATION ON MY BOUNCING NEWBORN, ASSUMING THAT I HAVE, IN FACT, ALREADY GIVEN BIRTH TO SAID NEWBORN. THIS WILL SEND AN ALREADY IRASCIBLE, OVERHEATED AND OVERDUE MOTHER OVER THE EDGE.
Thank you,
Still Pregnant in Colorado
He is late. Junior, that is. I hope this will not become a pattern because I am annoyed by tardiness, particularly in 100-degree temperatures. Oh, and Hunky Hubby is super sick. For the first time in years. Yes, yes, I know: what’re the odds? Don’t answer that. This is why I don’t play Vegas.
But I am pleased to say The End is Near (at least for my suffering) because Induction Day is Tuesday! Of course, if I’d had my way it would have happened a couple of weeks ago. Back on Day 14 of no sleep. The very day when Jamie reluctantly left for work and asked me if I was going to eat my young while he was gone. He then turned to 26-month-old Haddie and said, “Haddie, Mommy is a bit insane today so you’re in charge.” That was the low point.
I now realize how cut-and-dry my labor was with Hadley. My water broke a week early, I went to the hospital, experienced a lot of pain and 11 hours later gave birth to a beautiful little girl who cried like a kitten. At least in the early stages; later on, it was more like a roar. And not the dull kind.
Junior has been completely different with a roller-coaster ride of nausea, bronchitis, fluid leaks and all-night contractions this past month. I erroneously assumed two things from my first labor: that he would come early and that my water would break. And so when the contractions came last week, I was unprepared.
A: I’m having contractions! What the crap am I supposed to do?
J: Time them.
A: But how do I do that?
J: Measure how long they last in between.
A: But how do I know how long in between? Can you do it for me?
J: Crazy woman! You’re the only one who knows when you’re having contractions! I’m sorry to say that you need to do this yourself.
A: Fine, a lot of help you are. I suppose you’re going to make me have this kid by myself as well.
J: That’s the general idea. Hey, did you make sure to pack my treat bag so that at least one of us gets some sustenance during labor?
I'm a Canadian-born mom of two, former Denver Post columnist, family travel writer, editor of MileHighMamas.com and 9News contributor. Expert on all things Utah, Denver, family and travel. Lover of laughter and life. Happily married to a man obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin. 