Roller-coaster. Whoever coined that analogy to parenthood nailed it. One moment you’re slowly grinding your way up, the next you’re jubilant and on top of the world and then it is followed by sheer terror when you drop, never knowing how or when it is going to end.
When I was in Utah last week, my mother-in-law asked Jamie’s sister and me about what is tougher: being a wife or a mother. I wasn’t sure of the answer but the one thing I did know was that parenthood is 100 times better than I ever imagined it would be…but so much tougher. The highs far outweigh the lows and I’m just grateful to be along for the ride.
Yesterday was a roller-coaster. Last week was non-stop insanity that included four back-to-back trips for me and Hadley returned from a week at camp (many details to come). She was exhausted. We all were and fortunately, we have very little on our schedule the next few weeks. The only thing we have are swim lessons with some of our besties every day from 11 a.m.-noon. and beyond that, they can hang out all day in their PJs for all I care so I can get caught up on some very daunting deadlines.
I let H sleep until 10 a.m. (her latest ever) and then woke her. That is when the beast was unleashed. I’ll spare you the details but she was moody times 10, refusing to get out of bed and berated me for trying. My inner frustrations mounted and I gave her an ultimatum: spend the next few hours in her room or come with us. She obstinately opted for the former.
Fuming, I drove Bode to swim lessons. He is an intuitive kid–as kind-hearted as they come and never thinks or speaks ill of anyone, especially of the older sister who is repeatedly mean to him. As I vented my angst, he had every opportunity to throw her under the bus (like most siblings would) but he stopped me in my tracks. “Everyone makes mistakes, Mommy.” He then went on to tell me nobody is perfect except for Jesus and that He is here to not only be an example but to help us.
A little child shall lead them, indeed.
Three hours later, we returned home. She was still in her room but was now penitent and contrite. On the floor in the front entrance, she had written an explanation and an apology and was an angel after that. That day, my children taught me simple, pure truths and I thanked them for it.
Every Monday, we hold Family Home Evening. Sometimes it is activity-based (especially in the summer), the winters we have lessons and sometimes we hold both. Hadley is trying to fulfill her Faith in God requirements, a wonderful goal-based program for girls ages 8-11 that helps them progress spiritually, mentally and physically. She opted to teach us an FHE lesson for the first time and together we studied the Joseph Smith story. Hesitant at first and doubting her abilities, she ultimately pulled off a beautiful lesson, followed by a perfectly pure testimony that brought tears to my eyes. That was the high to a roller-coaster day of lows.
Also yesterday, my friend Loralee published an account of her own Refiner’s Fire that is one of the most powerful testimonies I have read. She was my roommate a few years back at BlogHer and she makes me look like a wallflower–exuberant, bursting with energy, gorgeous, talented (an unbelievable operatic voice) and is the kind of person who doesn’t recognize just how powerful she really is. Ten years ago, she lost her son, which sent her spiralling into depression as she turned her back on God. She has slowly built herself back up, only to be hit with some very serious health issues that have left her bedridden. Her recent ADHD diagnosis was a godsend and for the first time in a while, her Facebook posts were full of hope as her medications have finally helped make sense of the insanity.
But then she hit rock bottom when she was disfellowshipped from church. At first, it seemed heartless-she had come so far. But as I kept reading, God’s hand was there guiding her and leading her through that fire to a light more glorious than she ever could have imagined.
So many of us are questioning the “whys” all around us. I love Loralee’s account because it not only details her return to faith but also that, like Bode reminded me today, we all make mistakes. And, like Hadley, we can be forgiven. What resonated the most from Loralee’s words is that regardless of your beliefs or inclinations you must never, ever forget that every single one of us is so very worth it.
Do yourself a favor and take a few minutes to read Loralee’s story here–it has gone viral (500,000 hits) and for good reason. http://loraleeslooneytunes.com/2013/06/15/refiners-fire/
And a little child shall lead them.
I'm a Canadian-born mom of two, former Denver Post columnist, family travel writer, editor of MileHighMamas.com and 9News contributor. Expert on all things Utah, Denver, family and travel. Lover of laughter and life. Happily married to a man obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin. 