After reading my last post, I’ve had some requests to expound about my wild ‘n crazy days of Osmond Idol Worship. The Osmonds was the first concert I ever attended and I was in grade school at the time. I was enthralled with them, particularly Jimmy (the youngest).
While his siblings Donny and Marie hogged the spotlight, I coveted Jimmy from the shadows. My reasons for loving him were innumerable. That sweet, sweet, voice. The Mormon factor. Those infamous chubby cheeks. And most importantly, I figured there was only an 11-year-age difference so I had a chance.
Obviously, the word PEDOPHILIA was not something I ever considered.
Our love went unrealized for years. But when the Osmonds finally came into town, I knew this was my opportunity. The whole day of the concert, I primped and prepped. What would we first say as our eyes locked? How long would our courtship be? And most importantly: would I be stinkin’ rich?
I still remember our seats: about 50 rows back and to the left of the stage. Not ideal, but I had a plan.
I know, you’re all awaiting an 8-year-old’s strategy of seduction. Welp, brace yourselves for this. During the concert while everyone was singing and dancing around, I sat firmly planted in my chair, pretending I couldn’t walk. Because I just knew Jimmy would pick a little crippled girl out of the thousands in the audience, we would get married, and have crippled children together.
Shockingly, it was a love story that never materialized. I still don’t understand what happened to this day. I just knew I should’ve held out for Ralph Macchio.
And so, fess up. Who were the Osmond Idols of your youth?
P.S. And to circumvent all those snide comments I would inevitably receive: Yes, this very plan worked years later on snagging Jamie….
I'm a Canadian-born mom of two, former Denver Post columnist, family travel writer, editor of MileHighMamas.com and 9News contributor. Expert on all things Utah, Denver, family and travel. Lover of laughter and life. Happily married to a man obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin. 